by K. C. Crowne
My God she's cute when she's mad.
"No," she replied.
"So you're single?"
"I didn't say that. Now, if you don't mind, I have other patients to see."
She stepped out into the hall and nodded her head toward the exit.
"See you same time next week," I grinned.
There was nothing but silence in return. But as I walked away, I could feel her eyes on me. I looked over my shoulder as I reached the waiting room and noticed her gaze lingering.
Is she staring at my ass?
My eyes met hers one last time and her lips twitched. It was just a hint of smile, just a taste of what she was really feeling. But it was all I needed to see.
She does like me, I thought. I knew it!
Megan
I had just got in from work, dumped my bag on the floor, and crashed onto the couch when the doorbell rang.
"Uuuurgh."
With all my strength, I dragged myself up and shuffled toward the door.
"Surprise!" Ruby beamed as I opened it.
She stood on my doorstep in her signature sheepskin coat with the tassels around the bottom, and her hair exploding out from beneath a pink, woolly hat. In each of her hands was a bottle of wine; one red, one white.
"Aw, hey," I said, letting her in. "Am I glad to see you. I've had the longest day."
"Are you just home?" she asked, making herself at home in my kitchen.
I followed her in and found her popping the cork out the bottle of red. Somehow, she'd already found the stash of potato chips I'd saved in the cupboard for cheat day.
"It's almost nine o'clock," she said.
"Yeah, I've been doing a ton of overtime," I replied, sitting beside her at the kitchen table. "Trying to work every hour I can until my contract ends in a few weeks."
"Shit, is it a few weeks already? I thought you still had a couple months until you left your practice."
"Nope! Just three more weeks and I'm as free as a bird to open my own clinic."
I took a long sip of my wine and felt it relax the tension in my shoulder muscles. For someone who spent every day helping other people reach their peak physical fitness, I sure needed to work on myself.
"Can't believe you're really doing it. It's always been a dream of yours and now you're actually going to have a practice of your own!"
"Well, hopefully. It's not really going as smoothly as I hoped. Still got about a hundred things to do. Paperwork to file, insurance to apply for, rooms to decorate."
"You'll sail through it," Ruby assured me. "You're always great at everything you do."
"Except dating," I thought out loud.
"Aw, shut up. Don't be like that. You had some bad luck with Billy, but he's out of your life now. Just forget about him."
But it wasn't that easy. Since the night before, I'd been on edge and hadn't been able to stop thinking about the look in his eyes when he’d moved to hit me, or the way he gripped my wrists until I could feel my bones hurt. Looking down at my arms, I saw a thin ring of purple where his fingers were and felt anger swell up inside.
How fucking dare he put his hands on me?
I had never been treated that way by a guy before, but what worried me the most was that for the first time in my life, I was truly scared. It wasn't he kind of fear that came from everyday living; riding a roller coaster, arriving at a job interview, pulling into the wrong lane on the highway. This was a real, palpable fear that flooded my body.
For that brief moment before Alan and the bouncers saved me, I felt actually in danger of my life. And I never wanted to feel like that again.
"Are you okay?" Ruby asked.
"Just tired."
"Megan, how long have I known you? Don't tell me you're just tired. I can see there's something else. The energy around you is all... I don't know how to explain it. Jaggy and angry."
I was about to tell her to shut the hell up about my energy field when I heard the pitter patter of paws along the hallway floor. A second later, Rolo popped his big, fat head around the door and looked up at me with his big chocolaty eyes.
"Aw, come to Mommy," I said, and he trotted over and lay his head on my lap.
Although I loved both my dogs, Rolo and me had a special connection. It was like he could sense when I was down and just magically knew when I needed a cuddle.
"I love you," I said, rubbing his ears, and his tail wagged in response.
"If only you had the pups there last night," said Ruby, keeping her distance. "They would have eaten Billy alive."
"Yes, you would have," I said to Rolo. "You would have munched the hell outta Billy, wouldn't you?"
He didn't understand what I was saying but smiled anyway.
"I know it's hard," Ruby said, refilling my wine glass. "But just try to forget about him."
"How the hell am I supposed to do that?"
"Look, I have it on good authority that Alan beat the crap out of him last night. He won't come near you again."
"Hmmm."
"Has he been in touch?"
"No... Not heard a thing from him all day."
"Exactly. He's probably got the hint at last."
But I wasn't convinced. Somehow, the silence from him unnerved me. It wasn't like him. I'd woken up this morning and expected to see a flurry of missed calls. When I saw none, I was initially relieved. Then I grew nervous.
He's up to something, I thought. He isn't the kind of guy to just shrink away into oblivion without saying a word.
This feeling only intensified as the day progressed and I still received no messages and calls from him. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't expecting him on my doorstep when I got home from work.
"I can't shake the feeling he's plotting something," I told Ruby, still rubbing Rolo's ears. "I don't think I've heard the last of him."
"If he knows what's best for him, he won't speak to you again."
"That's the thing, he has no idea what's best.”
It was like his whole idea of relationships was warped. If he couldn't stop the constant texting before, he wasn't going to just suddenly stop now.
"What if he's just licking his wounds?" I said. "What if this is just the calm before the storm?"
"Don't think that way. Just drink this right up and put him out of your mind. Come on, let's head into the lounge and bang on a movie. I'll even let you pick one of your silly rom coms."
She shuffled away into the lounge struggling to carry the wine bottles with the bag of chips balanced beneath her chin. Rolo tagged along behind us to the couch where Reuben lay asleep stretched out like he owned the place. He opened one eye as we approached but refused to move.
"Come on, buddy. Let Mumma sit down."
He made a slight whining noise then flopped onto the floor and yawned.
Kicking off her shoes, Ruby lay back and took a long drink from her wine before flicking the TV on.
"What you in the mood for?"
"A hot bath and bed."
"I mean what movie are you in the mood for?"
"Ooh! My Best Friend's Wedding!"
"Again?"
"Yep!"
"Jesus. How many times have you seen it?"
"At least fifty."
She clicked on its thumbnail and settled down with the dogs resting at her feet.
"Whatever makes you happy," she said.
Grabbing the blanket that hung over the back of the couch, I pulled it over our legs and snuggled up, the two of us at either ends of the couch hugging our wine glasses.
"Thank you," I said.
"For what?"
"Being here."
"I'm always here. Anyway, I couldn't bear the thought of leaving you home alone."
She patted my knee and gave me her usual warm smile.
"I love you," I said, sipping my wine. "You're the best."
"Hey, once you finally get some time off work, we should really hit the town. Get you back out there. You need to have some fun. Meet some hot new guy and
let him give you the time of your life."
"Hmmm... I'm not really in the mood for a new guy. If anything, I'm kinda off men for good. These two guys are the only men I need in my life."
I patted Rolo and Reuben on the head, and they both stared up at me adoringly.
"I mean look at them. The cuties."
"You're insane," replied Ruby. "There's no harm in having some fun. No one's saying you have to get into some actual relationship with anyone just... you know, fool around."
"Fooling around's not really my style. I'm an everything or nothing kinda gal."
It was true. Despite almost turning thirty, I'd only had two relationships. My first boyfriend, Gary I was with since I was eighteen. I was sure we were going to be together forever, but when he moved away to college, things began to fizzle out between us. Nothing terrible happened. He never cheated, never treated me badly. It was just that things weren't quite what I'd expected, and eventually I broke things off. It was a full two years until I met Billy and decided to give love another shot. And well, we know how that ended.
Ruby, on the other hand, was all about having a good time. Born in the wrong era, she would have been better suited to the free loving times of the sixties. I could imagine her naked wearing nothing but flowers in her hair waving crystals around a muddy field as Hendrix played in the background.
"I don't get it," she said. "You're smoking hot and always getting attention from men, but it's like you're immune to their charms or something. You can't tell me you're not ever tempted?"
"Well... Maybe tempted..."
Her eyes shifted down the couch toward me. She always had an uncanny knack of almost knowing what I was thinking before I even did.
"What are you smirking about?" she asked.
"I'm not smirking."
"You are! And your cheeks have gone nearly as red as that wine."
"I have no idea what you're talking about," I lied.
But she wasn't letting up.
"Who are you thinking about?"
"I'm not thinking about anyone," I insisted.
She sat up straight, slammed her glass down on the coffee table and stared at me sternly.
"I know that look on your face," she said. "It's the same one you made when you first met Billy and were giggling like a schoolgirl at just the thought of him."
I sighed and reached for the potato chips. On the floor, Rolo pleaded with his eyes for one and I tossed one into his mouth.
"Okay fine," I said, nibbling on the edge of a chip. "I wasn't going to say anything but... There was a guy today. A patient."
"I knew it! Tell me everything! Was he hot? What's his name? What was he in for? What-"
"Woah, woah. Calm down!"
She shut her mouth and sat up ready to hear everything.
"Remember that whole story up on the mountain about that Mafia guy who shot his brother in that bunker?"
"Obviously. EVERYONE knows about that. They kidnapped two girls, remember?"
"Yeah. It was crazy... Anyway, you know during the rescue mission there was a member of that security team who got shot by a sniper?"
"Uhuh," replied Ruby, her eyes widening.
"Well it was him."
"Shut up. No way!"
"Yeah."
"I remember seeing him on the news!" she squealed. "Oh, my God, Megan. He's so hot!"
"I know!"
"And he's one of your patients?"
"He is now."
She began bouncing up and down on the couch with excitement. From the floor, the dogs looked up, wishing she'd calm down.
"It's like I just told you I met Santa Claus," I laughed.
"I can't help it," she replied, still bouncing. "It's just that he's a real hero, Megan! Like something out of a movie. I mean is there anything hotter than a security agent?"
"He was also a Navy SEAL."
At hearing this, she swooned and fell back against the arm of the couch.
"Please tell me you gave him some super sexy physical exam," she said. "I need to know everything."
Again, I felt my cheeks redden and pressed my fingertips to my face.
Why are you like this? You've never blushed before in your life.
"So..." she continued. "What was he like?"
"A bit full of himself."
"Are you really surprised?"
"No, but, I dunno. He was just such a cocky bastard. When he asked me out, he just stared at me like he assumed I would say yes."
"Wait a fucking minute! He asked you out? When exactly were you gonna tell me?"
"I'm telling you now. Anyway, it's not like I said yes."
"Why the hell not?"
"Why do you think? It's literally been a day since I broke up with Billy. A single day! It's not even been a full twenty-four hours yet. Not to mention, it’s extremely unprofessional to date a patient."
She leaned forward onto my legs, her eyes the size of saucers. There was a faint trace of the red wine on her lips as she licked them, hungry to know if me and Jared were gonna be the romance of the century.
“But he’s so fucking hot!”
"I don't care about whether a guy's hot or not. I mean, I do. Kinda... But it's not the most important thing. I mean Billy's hot, but he's also an actual lunatic. If I'm going to get into a relationship with another guy, I want to make sure he's got more going on that just his looks. I want him to be a nice guy. A REAL nice guy."
"So maybe Jared could be that guy."
"I doubt it," I said, shaking my head. "All he was thinking about was what's in my pants. Honestly. The way he looked at me, it was like he had x-ray vision and was staring right through my clothes."
"You say that like it's a bad thing."
I thought back to the moment I'd looked up the examination table and seen his eyes on my breasts, his breath becoming more labored the longer he stared.
He wanted me all right. And I'd be lying if I said I didn't get a thrill from his attention, but right now the last thing I wanted was getting involved with another guy. I had a job to concentrate on finishing, a practice to open, two dogs to shower with love, and the greatest Halloween party ever to look forward to.
"Fuck guys," I suddenly blurted out. "I don't need them."
"Well if you don't want Jared, I'll take him," Ruby joked. Seriously. I could do with a little Navy SEAL lovin' in my life."
"You can have him," I laughed.
But at the back of my mind, I couldn't help but conjure up the image of what would have happened if I did say yes to Jared. I thought about his body; his tight abs, his muscular thighs and the size of his biceps.
I remembered the way his leg felt as he flexed his muscles against my hand. Plenty of girls would have killed to be that close to him, and I'd be lying if I said there wasn't a part of me that didn't enjoy getting the chance to touch him. But at the same time, I had no choice but to bury any feelings of attraction down into some unreachable place.
You're a professional, I reminded myself. You shouldn't be attracted to your patients!
I tried to forget about him and focus on the TV, but I couldn't process a single thing I was watching. I knew the movie off by heart, but for some reason, it was as though I was staring at a film I'd never seen before. My mind was all jumbled and I couldn't take anything in. I kept comparing every guy that came on the screen to Jared, and every time they fell short.
"Megan?"
"Uhuh."
"You're blushing again."
"No, I'm not."
"You so are," Ruby laughed as she tickled me under the ribs. "You're thinking about him again!"
"I'm doing no such thing," I insisted, trying to stop a grin spreading across my face.
"Liar."
She laughed and lay her head back against the couch, her eyelids becoming heavy from the wine and the heat of the house.
I am a liar, I thought to myself as I turned back to the TV. I haven't been able to stop thinking about him all day.
I opened my
eyes and saw the TV screen had gone black and the room was sweltering. I kicked off the blanket and saw the two wine bottles on the table were now empty and Ruby was out for the count. I tried to shake her slightly, but she only responded with a snort and rolled over.
Meanwhile on the floor, the pups were fast asleep with Rolo lying on his back snoring gently.
"Fuck, what time is it?"
I fumbled for my phone and saw it was almost two in the morning. In four hours, I had to be up for my morning run before work. With a big yawn and a stretch, I turned off the TV, covered Ruby with the blanket and made for the stairs. For once, the dogs didn't wake up, and I left them sleeping at Ruby's side.
Once upstairs, I realized I was still in my work uniform with my makeup still on.
"You should never have drunk all that wine," I said to myself as I peeled off my clothes.
I stared at myself in the mirror for a moment and ran a hand over my stomach. I'd been hammering the gym as hard as I could in the last few months, and the results were showing in the definition of my muscles that were growing stronger by the week.
As I saw the v-shaped lines that moved down either side of my hip, I felt a swell of pride. Then, just for the fun of it, I flexed my biceps to admire them. They weren't by any means big, but you could see from the way they hugged my bones that I'd been working my ass off on them.
Billy will never get to see this again.
Not that I was working out for any man. I was doing it for me and only me. I wanted to grow strong in both my body and mind. Wanted to be nobody's little girl.
Crawling into bed, I pulled the covers up over my exhausted body and reached over to switch off the light. But as I lay down and snuggled up to the covers, sleep refused to take hold. I found my fingers reaching for my wrists to feel the bruises from the night before, and a red-hot anger began sweeping through me.
That asshole will never touch me again.
I wondered where he was now. Was he sorry for what he did to me? Did he regret the way he treated me? And did Alan really beat the shit out of him? Billy was a strong, fit guy, and last night he was mad as hell. He would have put up an explosive fight.
But most of all, I kept thinking about the silence from him. Why hadn't I heard a thing? Somehow, not hearing a peep was making me just as uneasy as him checking up on me all the time. It wasn't like him.