by K. C. Crowne
“I’m just anxious,” Eric said.
“Why?”
“Can you not act all suspicious about everything I say? This is hard enough.”
“What’s hard?” I asked. “We’re just talking.” I was being unfair, and I knew it. He was here to apologize for barging into my office drunk and/or high.
He exhaled. “I shouldn’t have come into your office like that,” he began.
Rather than let him continue, the question I’d been dying to ask leapt to my lips. “Eric, who did that business card belong to? Why did you have it?”
“I don’t know,” Eric said, frowning. “Some guy handed that to me on the street and I just stuck it in my pocket. I assumed he was advertising something and was planning on throwing it out, but I forgot it was there.” He looked at me, focusing as if remembering. “Why did it make you so mad?”
“I just...I thought I knew who it came from. Maybe I was wrong.”
“Who did you think it came from?”
“Don’t worry about it.”
“No,” he said, leaning across the table. “Tell me. I can tell something is bothering you.”
“It doesn’t matter, Eric, let it go.”
He shook his head and raked his fingers through his hair. “I feel like someone’s following me, Noah.”
“Someone like who?”
“I don’t know who. Just someone. I get this feeling like I’m being shadowed. And then this card shows up, and you say you know who it’s from. It’s creepy. Don’t you think it’s creepy?”
I did. But I also knew he was being followed. By a guy I’d hired myself to do just that. “If you didn’t know about the card, then why did you come to my office?” I asked. “If you were just looking for a place to sleep things off, you could have gone home.”
Eric looked down at his hands. “I needed money. I know I asked you for it.”
“That was what you came for?” An ugly thought occurred to me. “Is that what you came here for? Not to apologize, but ask me for money again?”
“My parents cut me off,” he whined, and almost pleading sound in his voice. “They took away my access to my trust fund. Don’t like what I’m doing with my life.”
“Can you blame them?” I asked, my tone scathing.
“That’s cold, Noah.”
“It’s true, Eric. You’re high right now, aren’t you? That’s why you’re so edgy.”
“I just need a little money,” he begged.
“I’m not giving you money,” I said shortly, standing up. “I have to go to work. Get yourself cleaned up. Call me again when you’re sober.”
Meet me at 7. Same Place. -LM
Walking into the bar that night, I was a million miles away, emotionally, from where I’d been when I met with Eric. I’d thought I was anxious and upset about my meeting with my friend, but the truth was that I’d felt some measure of control the entire time. I’d known that whatever Eric said or did, I most likely had the upper hand in that situation. Even at the very end, when he’d shocked me by asking for money instead of apologizing for what he’d done at my office, I’d been able to walk away. I had been in control.
I hated not being in control.
But as I spotted LM sitting in the back of the bar and made my way to his table, I felt my control of the situation slipping. I wasn’t approaching the man because I wanted to. In fact, I would have liked nothing better than to turn and walk the other way. I was only doing this because to do anything else would have been neglectful of my safety, not to mention that of Tess and Jenna. They’d been threatened by this man. I had to do what he said.
And that was infuriating.
He pushed the seat opposite him out from the table with his foot as I drew close, and I sat down. “Okay,” I said, spreading my arms wide. “I’m here. What do you want?”
“Can I get you a beer?” he asked solicitously.
“No, I don’t want a fucking beer. Why am I here?”
“There’s no need to be rude,” he quipped, sipping casually from his own glass.
“Get to the point or I’m leaving.”
He raised his eyebrows. “I don’t think you will,” he said. “I think we’ve reached the point in our negotiations where you want this to be resolved as much as we do. Am I right?”
“I think,” I said furiously, “that if you really wanted things to be resolved, you would tell me what you want from me. I have plenty of money. I’m sure you know that. I’ll write you a check right here and now. I just want these games to stop.”
“This isn’t about money,” LM said smoothly. “As you well know. You were told we wanted your time.”
“Yes, but nobody explained what that meant. I’m not a mind reader.”
“We want to put you to work,” LM said. “Our organization needs loyalty more than it needs funds. We want you to show us that you’re on our side.”
“I’m not on your side,” I said. “You’ve done nothing but threaten my family and me. Why the hell would I be on your side of anything?”
LM’s congenial affect vanished as if it had never been. He leaned across the table. “You would be on our side,” he said, “because of what’s going to happen to you if you’re not. Because of what’s going to happen to your daughter if you’re not.”
“Don’t you dare talk about my daughter.”
He ignored me. “Every dollar in your bank account, all the money you just offered to make me go away, you have all of it because of me. You live the cushy lifestyle you enjoy so much because of me and my organization.”
“That’s bullshit,” I said. “Even if my father was involved with you, that’s not the way he made all of his money. He had a successful, legitimate business and so do I.”
LM shrugged. “Your father swore us his allegiance,” he revealed. “As his son, that debt extends to you, and it’s time to pay up. It’s time to show us that you can be counted on, Noah Clark.”
“All right,” I said. “Let’s say for a minute that I’m buying any of what you’re selling here. Let’s say I’m interested enough in making you leave me alone that I’m willing to work with you.”
“Yes, that seems like a good place to start.”
“And you would leave me alone?” I clarified. “After I did whatever you’re asking? You’d leave me and my family in peace?”
“Let’s just say it would go a long way toward proving where you stand.”
I wasn’t fool enough to think that was any kind of answer. “What are you asking me to do?”
“We’ll give you a name,” LM said. “The name of another CEO in your industry.”
“You’ll give me a name? What am I supposed to do with that? Contact this person?” A thought occurred, and my eyes narrowed. “You’re not asking me to help you threaten someone, are you? Is that how this works? Are you threatening me because they’ve got something over your head?”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” LM snapped.
“Then what? What am I supposed to do with this name?”
“You’re going to take them out.”
That didn’t register at first. “Take them out where?”
“Take them out financially. Eliminate their business.”
“You’re putting a financial hit on a business?” I asked, surprised. “How am I even supposed to do that?”
“You’re a smart man, Noah. You’ll figure out a way. Plant information about him, maybe. Destabilize his investments. I know you know how to do that.”
“And you want this from me why?”
“It proves trust,” LM said. “It ensures that you can’t double cross us, because we’ll have information on you.” He grinned. “It also accomplishes something we need done.”
“Ruining somebody’s life.”
“Do we have a problem?”
“Yeah,” I said. “We have a problem. I don’t know you. I don’t even know your name. I just found out all of this was a thing a few days ago. I don’t know any of the finer details,
and I don’t know anything about your organization that you want me to show loyalty to. And even if I did know all that, there’s the little matter of me not being a fucking felon. So no. I won’t do ruin someone’s life.” I got up, feeling almost dizzy with the exertion of defying LM, and walked out of the bar.
What had I just done? What was going to happen to me now? Would they hurt Tess and Jenna? I’d figure out some way to keep them safe, that was all. I couldn’t do what LM was asking. That was insane.
My phone buzzed in my pocket. I pulled it out. There was an alert for a new email.
Have it your way. -LM
Chapter 26
Jenna
I got in! Tess’s hands practically clapped together as she signed with exuberance. I got in, Jenna! I got in!
Awesome! I signed back. Smart. School lucky.
She grinned and signed something I couldn’t understand. I looked up at her father for help.
“She says it’s thanks to you and your mother,” Noah said. “She says she knows what you did to help her, and she really appreciates it.”
“You didn’t need my help,” I said, signing no need. Noah provided a more complete translation of my words. “You have what it takes to get in without my help. But I was happy to lend a hand.”
“We really do appreciate it,” Noah said. “Thank you for letting me buy you dinner tonight to celebrate.”
I nodded. In truth, I’d seriously considered not coming over tonight. After the way things had gone the last time I’d eaten dinner with the Clarks, it seemed like it might not be the most responsible choice. Sara had raised an eyebrow at me when she’d seen me getting dressed to leave, but she hadn’t said anything. I’d be getting fully interrogated later.
Well, there would be nothing to uncover. We were here to celebrate Tess, and nothing more. “So, what’s for dinner?” I asked.
“It’s Tess’s choice,” Noah said. “She’s the girl of honor tonight.”
“And what did you choose?” I asked Tess.
I recognized the sign she made. Sushi!
I laughed. “Sounds great!” Another thing I knew how to sign. I was getting better at communicating with Tess. Someday we won’t even need Noah to translate.
I bit down hard on that thought. What was I thinking? Tess and I didn’t have a relationship, not beyond the fact that I’d redesigned her room, and we weren’t going to create one. I wouldn’t be a permanent fixture in her life. I’d been invited to dinner tonight because of my help in getting her into her new school. It was a gesture of thanks, nothing more.
Noah pulled up the menu for Tess’s favorite Japanese restaurant on his phone. We decided to order a bunch of different things so we could have tastes of a wide variety of dishes. “You order for me,” I told Tess. “This is only my second time eating sushi, and you’re the expert. I’ll try whatever you think is good.”
“Tess can order for all of us,” Noah said absently, handing her the phone. She curled up in an armchair and got to work adding things to the online cart.
“So,” I said, settling on the couch, feeling a little awkward now that Tess had effectively dropped out of the conversation. “How have you been? Since I saw you last, I mean.”
“What?” He looked up at me. “Oh. Fine, just fine.”
I grimaced inwardly. I’d been afraid tonight might be weird. After all, we’d kissed the last time we’d seen each other, and then I had run out the door. Noah was certainly entitled to feel awkward about that. But I guess I’d hoped he hadn’t taken it to heart, and that hope had been bolstered by the fact that he’d invited me over tonight.
Tess hopped off the chair and ran the phone over to her father, showing him what she’d chosen. He nodded, not giving the order much attention, and she grinned and placed it. Fifteen minutes, she signed.
And then it was quiet.
And it was awkward.
Tess picked up a book from an end table and began reading. Noah fiddled with his watch. “Are you okay?” I asked him after a time.
“Fine,” he said.
“Because you’re being kind of...well, kind of distant. Are you upset with me?”
“Of course not.”
“I know I left in a hurry last time—”
“Don’t worry about that,” he said dismissively. “Things are complicated between you and me. I understand that.”
It was the first time that fundamental truth had been so simply articulated. It was almost like taking a first breath of air after being underwater for a long time. Things were complicated between the two of us. That was absolutely true. And not only that, but now I knew for sure that Noah saw it too. I wasn’t imagining the sexual tension. I wasn’t imagining the reluctance to give in on both our parts. We wanted each other. We wanted to stay away.
It was complicated.
It wasn’t just me.
I could have hugged him, but I didn’t. I stayed in my place on the couch, watching him and wondering if he realized what a gift he’d given me with those simple words.
Eventually, the food arrived, and the mood loosened somewhat. Tess arranged the food on plates and the three of us went to the kitchen and moved from place to place, sampling as we went. Between the three of us, we finished all the food Tess had ordered.
When it was done, Noah brought out a massive cupcake with pink frosting and confetti sprinkles. He cut this into thirds and raised his section as if it were a wine glass. “To Tess,” he said, signing with his free hand. “May she do well at her new school.”
“And have fun,” I added, signing and happy, which was as close as I could get. I picked up my own wedge of cupcake. “Cheers.”
The three of us devoured our dessert as ravenously as we’d eaten the sushi. When we were finished, Tess hugged her father and asked to be excused to her room. He granted her request.
Bye, Jenna, she signed.
Bye, Tess, I replied. “Congratulations again,” I added, relying on Noah to translate the last part.
“She’s awfully tired,” Noah said as Tess disappeared up the stairs. “She wouldn’t say so in front of you, but I’m sure she’s going to sleep. And she needs it. She’s been studying so hard for the entrance exam. She’s been really stressed out about it.”
“It’ll be good for her to get a fresh start,” I said. “After everything she’s been through. To be around kids who don’t know her for her personal tragedy, but who can just get to know her for who she is. I think you’re making the right choice in transferring her.”
Noah nodded. “I hope you’re right about that.”
“I think so.”
After a pause, he murmured, “Jenna?”
“Yeah?”
He took a deep breath. “I think you should move back in with us.”
“What?” I scoffed. “Noah. Come on.”
“I worry about you,” he said. “I’d feel better if you were here.”
“I’m perfectly safe at Sara’s.”
“I don’t know that you are. That’s the thing.”
“You can’t possibly think that whoever broke into my place would go to Sara’s.”
“No, it’s not that. I just...my security is really good.”
“You know why I left.”
“I don’t, actually, because you never had a conversation with me about it.”
“I told you it was too hard for me to be around you with our relationship so undefined. You said it yourself, Noah. It’s complicated.”
“Is that why you’re picking a fight with me now?”
“I am not picking a fight!” I cried. I sucked in a breath. “This was a bad idea, I shouldn’t have come, I should—” I turned to go.
He caught me by the wrist. I looked back.
“I think you like it complicated,” he said, eyes blazing.
My stomach dropped.
I had no idea afterward how we even made it to his bedroom. If it hadn’t been for Tess, we probably would have ended up naked right there on the kitchen
floor.
Somehow, though, I was in his bedroom, and he was locking the door behind me. Our arms tangled as we struggled to rip away each other’s clothes. Sex with Noah had seemed so deliberate on his part. He’d removed my clothes carefully, as though it was an art. He had stripped away his own clothes like a model, as if performing a move he had practiced to perfection.
Today it was messy and rushed, and we didn’t care. We couldn’t get naked quickly enough.
There was no standing back and regarding the beauty of each other’s bodies. The minute I saw his bare skin, I pressed myself against it, touching him everywhere I could reach, inhaling the scent of him. I felt drugged.
He lifted me in his arms and entered me quickly, backing me up against the cool plaster of the wall. I felt light as a feather, suspended between the hard wall and his hard body, his hands under my thighs as he thrust into me. I went limp against him, unable to do more than squeeze him with arms and legs and encourage him to go deeper, faster, harder.
But he didn’t increase the pace. He moved steadily, and it came to me that as out of control as I was feeling right now, as out of control as I could tell he was, Noah was still hanging on to a piece of his sanity. He hadn’t given himself over completely to the physical rush yet.
And as soon as the thought occurred to me, I understood why.
He wanted me to come first.
He had always taken care of me, always made sure I was satisfied before worrying about himself. How could I have ever thought of this man as someone who might hurt me, who might not care for my heart? He was the most generous man I’d ever met.
I felt utterly safe in his arms. In that moment, if he’d asked me again to move back into his house, I would have said yes without hesitating.
I angled my hips and arched my back, working the pressure and friction to exactly where I wanted it, and a moment later I was seeing stars.