by Skye Horn
“The council knew it was possible for Morrigan to get into my head?”
He hesitated and then said, “Yes.”
A lick of betrayal danced beneath the anger she felt, but she kept her gaze level with his, waiting for his explanation.
“I didn’t think she’d actually hurt you. I thought it would be beneficial for you to be a little more scared.” His voice quivered over each syllable.
“You didn’t think she’d hurt me?? This is the Goddess of DEATH, Jami. Did you think she’d just give me a motherly hug and chat about my day?” Her voice was venomous as she stood, taking a step toward him, but it was the way the flames of the fire burst high into the sky that caused the guard to fall to his knees. He pressed his trembling palms into the earth, nearly touching his nose to the snow-covered ground.
What Jami had done hadn’t been just a betrayal, it had been treasonous and deadly. How could he expect her to be okay with that? Thea wanted to lash out at him for what he’d done, but she bit her tongue until she tasted blood, steadying the pulsing dark flame that had ignited within her, and stared at the other guards who’d been hand-selected by her council.
“Did you know?” she demanded.
“No,” Jami choked out with fear in his eyes as he looked to his comrades. “I’m the only one the council told. It’s one of my specialties.”
Derek seemed to swallow back whatever defense he was about to start as Thea looked back at Jami with narrowed eyes.
“If Derek hadn’t been with me, I could have died.” Anger bubbled to the surface as Thea’s hands clenched into fists. She tried to remain calm, but after what she’d just encountered with Morrigan—after the Goddess threatened her and her friends—she wasn’t in the mood to have someone tell her they could have avoided the entire situation.
“I was angry after our conversation in the stables. It’s no excuse.”
“You’re right, it’s not an excuse,” she said, crossing her arms over her chest, trying to suffocate the darkness within her.
You and I are more alike than you’d like to admit, Morrigan’s voice floated through her head, as Ainé’s once had. Thea flinched at the sound of it, wondering if it was actually there or if it was her terrified mind playing tricks on her.
I am nothing like you, she wanted to spit back in the Goddess’ face, but she leveled her gaze with each of her guards instead, focusing all of her energy on them. If she lost control people could get hurt—including two people she cared deeply for. She needed control.
“Teach me now, then,” she said, the note of command returning to her voice. She was getting better at this whole queen-giving-orders persona.
“You’re not going to punish me?” he said with wide eyes as he stared up at her.
“What punishment do you believe you deserve?” Thea asked icily. He deserved to be punished, as did her council for continuously not giving her the information she needed to survive, but right now, the most important thing was keeping Morrigan out of her head.
Jami didn’t answer her. He just stared disbelieving across the fire. Everyone else seemed to be holding their breath as she stood up and crossed to stand in front of him.
“How about this,” she said, holding his gaze. “You want to be on the Queen’s Guard, correct?”
She knew the answer, but he nodded his head anyway, looking as if she might have just said the one thing that would ruin his entire life.
“Well, think of this as strike one.” He gave her a confused look, and Thea frowned, remembering baseball was an American pastime, not a Faerie one. “I mean, think of this as a probation period. You’ve just messed up for the first time. I’m not unforgiving.”
A spark of life returned to Jami’s eyes: hope.
“I’m also not stupid,” she said, inclining her head and pinning him with a fierce glare. “One more mistake like that and you will never serve in any army under my rule, understood?”
Thea surprised herself with the authority in her voice, but Jami looked like Christmas had arrived early as he nodded his head.
“I won’t let you down, Princess Thea,” he said bowing his head low once again.
“As for the rest of you,” Thea turned to face each of the other guards. “Don’t make me regret telling you the truth.”
There were murmurs of promises of loyalty all around the fire, but Mica just sat, grinning from ear to ear.
“You sounded like a queen,” he whispered to her as she took her seat beside him again, but she only gave him a slight smile in response. She felt proud of her interaction with the guards, but more than that, she felt a weight released from her back at opening up to them about what was really going on.
As Jami took his seat again, Thea knew that the guards she chose needed to be people she trusted. So far, that wasn’t going well, but she would keep her word to Jami. She would allow him the chance to redeem himself—to prove his loyalty.
She’d counted on no one to protect her since Kieran had walked away. She’d been naïve to believe in promises or honor, because when it came down to it, everyone protected their own skin or let their feelings impede their judgments. Thea and Jami were prime examples of the latter. However, choosing the Queen’s Guard was an inevitable part of her job, and both Jami and Derek seemed like suitable fits if she could get them to believe in her.
“Good. Now teach me how to keep that damn Goddess out of my head,” Thea said, ignoring the nagging voice that told her she’d never be free.
By the time the sun rose over the tree tops, Thea sat with Jami and Brayden next to a dying fire, narrowing her eyes as if it might make this magic easier to learn. Derek, Rolan, and Mica were all fast asleep on rolled-out blankets nearby, but Jami, who was still licking the wounds of becoming the least liked person in their group, had agreed to stay up all night with Thea while Brayden took the night watch after only an hour-long power-nap. There was no sign of anyone trying to infiltrate their camp, so Thea had told Brayden to return his shivering self back to the warmth of the fire.
“Tell me again why I didn’t have to worry about this in Ivandor,” Thea said, feeling as if her brain might leak out of her ears if she focused any harder.
“The kingdom is protected by protection runes,” Brayden explained for about the sixth time, but didn’t look annoyed. He was younger than the rest of the guards and just seemed happy to be involved in the conversation. He also blushed every time Thea spoke with him, which she was finding both adorable and distracting. “The High Council saw to it as soon as you released the Goddess.”
Thea hesitated as she had been doing all night with her next question. She hadn’t known about the runes of protection around Ivandor—wards as Brayden had called them earlier, but she’d had a theory forming ever since they’d told her.
“So…” she drawled, giving up on the magic Jami was trying to teach her. He’d said it was something all the soldiers and council members were taught, just in case, but it wasn’t easy to master, which explained why he’d been the only man suited for the job. It took complete focus, which Thea did not have right now, and until Morrigan’s return, it hadn’t been of dire importance. “If they put those wards up after we released Morrigan to keep her out of our heads, wouldn’t they also keep Ainé out?”
She knew neither of them had a reason to suspect Ainé was injured, or worse, but she still felt nervous bringing up the topic. She masked her face in pure curiosity, though, burying the nerves. It was becoming second nature for her to wear a queen’s mask.
“I suppose that would be the case, yes.” Jami let out a sigh as he stared at her with frustration. She knew he was trying to hide it, but it had grown more obvious the more she’d been unable to perform the magic.
“How can we even know if I do manage it?” Thea asked, frustrated.
“Manage what?” Ethel said, emerging from her tent with sleep still in her eyes. Her curly hair was a knotted mess on top of her head, and her cheeks were rosy from sleep. She looked much younger
in that way than when she was fretting over Thea.
“Good morning,” Thea smiled at her, happy to have a friendly face rather than the two determined ones in front of her. “They’re trying to teach me how to keep people out of my mind, or to keep Goddesses out, I suppose.”
Ethel sat beside her, grabbing a piece of bread and nibbling the corners.
“How’s that going?” she asked, receiving an exasperated look from Jami.
“Not well. We can tell because as Fae we have similar powers, although most find them unethical to use,” Jami said, rubbing his temples.
“Not you, though,” Ethel mused, tilting her head at him.
“It was part of my training, so that I could infiltrate the enemies’ minds.”
“So we are mind-readers too?” Thea asked in disbelief.
“No, it’s more like feelings,” Brayden explained, glancing at Jami’s tired face. “You should go get some rest, Jami. We only have a few hours before we leave for Gimmerwich.”
The other guard nodded and rose to his feet, stretching out his sore muscles. They’d sat in nearly the same position all night, Thea trying to block Jami out of her mind and failing. He’d controlled his frustration with her, but she could see the toll it had taken on his energy level.
She frowned as he walked away.
“Don’t be discouraged, Princess,” Brayden said. “You can’t be good at everything. Maybe this will just take more time.”
Thea shot him a questioning look that said, “What is that supposed to mean?” and he laughed.
“I’ve heard about you. We all have.” His voice was not unkind, but admiring. “No one has ever mastered all four elements, and yet, you did. It’s rare to develop wings after childhood, and yet, you did that too. No one has lived past an encounter with the Goddess of Death, but here you stand without a scratch.”
His awe made Thea uncomfortable, and her cheeks flushed. Even after being told the Goddess had let her go because of this strange connection they had, Brayden admired her like some heroine. If only they could have seen her black out from the pain, or how terrified she’d been trying to figure all of those things out on her own. If only they knew she’d traded Kieran’s life for the Goddess’ return. Perhaps then they wouldn’t think she had everything figured out.
She frowned, hating the praise he was giving her and feeling unworthy of it all, but Ethel, who knew everything that had happened, just smiled.
“She’s pretty amazing, huh?” she said, nudging Thea’s side with a grin.
Thea wanted to curl up into a ball and hide, but just nodded her thanks to both of them.
“Well, I guess I still have a lot to learn,” she said with a subtle yawn.
Ethel moved to brew coffee over the fire for her. Miss Elizabeth knew after six months with Thea that she couldn’t survive even a day without it and had packed a pouch full of grounds. Ethel, however, saw Thea’s exhaustion. The bags under Thea’s eyes had never felt heavier.
“I will wake Rolan up,” Brayden said, standing and stretching. “He’ll be disappointed if he misses coffee.”
He smiled at the two girls before heading toward the others, leaving Thea with Ethel and her thoughts.
What if she could never figure out how to block Morrigan out? What if their connection made it impossible to even do the magic they were trying to teach her? If the Goddess could get into her head at any point when she wasn’t protected by Ivandor’s wards and the council found out, they would lock her in the castle forever.
That wasn’t even the most pressing concern, though. What if the runes that protected them in Ivandor were keeping Ainé out?
The wards could make it impossible for either Goddess to communicate, and that would explain why none of the seers’d had any visions. As Thea stared at the fire and the smell of coffee rose through the air, she frowned, because not only did this change everything, but it also meant her council was hiding things from her.
You have been lied to, Morrigan’s words taunted her. The truth is coming, Princess. I hope you are prepared for it.
Thea really needed to find out the truth.
When Kieran awoke for the second time, it was to find Amara shaking his shoulders.
“Whatisit?” he mumbled, shooting up to a seated position. He let his eyes adjust to the morning light that shone softly through the window and stared at Amara’s busted lip. “What happened to you?”
He stifled a yawn and was thankful to find that his headache had almost subsided. His muscles felt achy from whatever tossing and turning he’d done throughout the night, but the lingering taste of dark magic was gone.
“What do you think happened?” Amara growled, her eyes flaring red. “I tried to get out of the village without you and someone jumped me!”
“What did you do?” Kieran demanded, awake now as he stared at the dried blood on his cousin’s face.
“I didn’t kill him if that’s what you’re thinking, but his shoulder will take a while to heal.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “And then I came back here before I killed him for attacking me from behind like that.”
“He attacked you from behind?” Kieran frowned. He understood why people were angry with Amara, but attacking someone from behind was cowardly.
“YES. Anyway, I couldn’t even leave Gimmerwich,” she said and Kieran’s heart sank. “But I heard some guards in the tavern downstairs talking about how they expect Thea will arrive today. If she doesn’t, we will know something is wrong and go after her.”
“And what if we’re too late?” Kieran asked, anguish threatening to suffocate his lungs. “What if something has happened to her?”
“You should have thought of that before you abandoned her in Ivandor.”
Kieran’s hand twitched at his side, but no matter how much he wanted to hit Amara for what she’d said, he knew it was the truth. She noticed the twitch and touched her already bruised face with a wince.
“If Morrigan could kill Thea, she would have done that already,” Amara tried to console him, but Kieran was beyond that point. “Plus, my sister can take care of herself. Stop treating her like she’s still that little kid you abandoned years ago.”
Abandoned. Of course, Amara knew the story by now about Kieran leaving Thea in the land without magic. She never missed a jab when she wanted to get a point across. Unfortunately, Kieran had no way of arguing this jab. He had a tough time separating the toddler from his childhood from the adult who had faced the Goddess of Death while he lay crumpled on the floor. She’d taken care of herself then; why was it that he didn’t trust her to do the same now?
“I know you miss her,” Amara said, dangerously close to crossing a line that Kieran wouldn’t allow. “But we can’t be here when she arrives.”
“I’m not leaving.” Kieran frowned, staring at his hands. “If she’s coming here, I’m not going anywhere.”
“But…”
“No.” Kieran looked at his cousin. He’d decided the minute he saw Thea fall from the sky. No matter how right Amara was about Thea being able to take care of herself, he’d made her a promise and already broken it once. He wouldn’t flee her presence when he knew she was in trouble.
Even if it broke him.
“Fine, but you know she will kick your ass—and I will let her.”
Kieran laughed, but it didn’t touch his eyes.
It was funny, because it was true.
Chapter 9
The smell of coffee over the fire seemed to wake up everyone except Jami and Brayden. Thea watched them scarf down bread and cold stew like a pack of hungry wolves. Crumbs flew from Rolan’s mouth as he announced he’d fill up the water canteens and disappeared into the trees. Mica soon left the fire to pack up supplies with Ethel’s help, leaving Thea by the fireside with Derek.
“How are you feeling this morning?” he asked her, shoving the rest of his bread into his mouth. Like with Rolan, a few crumbs fell out of the corner of his lips while he spoke, but he didn’t seem to c
are about his manners. It actually made Thea happy to see that they weren’t pretending to be anything that they weren’t around her.
“I’m okay,” she lied with a smile that she hoped covered some of her exhaustion. Just because they weren’t pretending, it didn’t mean they needed to know how close she was to falling apart at the seams. “How much farther to Gimmerwich?”
“We should be there before nightfall if we get out of here soon.” He swallowed the rest of his coffee in a single gulp and held out a hand for her empty mug. Thea stood and stretched her wings out behind her, trying to release the tension in her muscles from being seated on the ground all night.
“Thanks for catching me,” Thea told Derek as they packed the pots from the night before and wrapped up any leftover breads, meats, and cheeses for their lunch. He glanced at her with a surprised smile.
“Let’s not make a habit of it,” he teased.
“Agreed.”
Thea pulled her cloak over yesterday’s clothes as the warmth of the fire dwindled away. She lifted her weapons belt from the ground, strapping it around herself, and began sliding swords and daggers back into their rightful places as Derek watched with an amused glint in his eyes.
“Aren’t we here for your protection?” he asked.
“Don’t tell me you object to your future queen carrying a weapon,” Thea said, the corner of her lips pulling up into a grin.
“No, but it makes me feel useless,” he laughed.
Thea slipped Kieran’s sword into the sheath at her hip and spun the dagger between her fingertips. She’d spent morning after morning practicing in the garden until it had become second nature to her. The dagger now felt like an extension of her hand that could not be taken away.
“Well, if you do your job, I won’t need to use any of these.” She shrugged, tucking the dagger into its place in her boot. “But if something goes wrong, I don’t plan to be without a weapon.”