by Skye Horn
Thea clasped her hands around the ball of fire and watched it disappear. The water that had been cool against her skin spilled warmly through the cracks of her fingers.
“Wow.” Haven was the first one to speak as she ran over to Thea, prying her hands apart to gaze at her unburned palms. “Impressive.”
“I’ve never heard of anything like it,” Declan said, folding his arms across his chest as he looked at her with new appreciation. It made her heart speed up just a little.
“I don’t always have control over it,” Thea mumbled, recalling her reaction to his kiss. It had been more than surprise that had overwhelmed her that night. She’d hardly been able to control herself when she got back to her bedroom. It terrified her. “Sometimes I feel like it has more control over me than I do over it.”
“Like you can’t tell the difference between your intentions and your magic’s?” Amara said from her spot on the bed. She laced her fingers together, watching Thea with growing concern.
“Yes…” Thea replied slowly, tilting her head at her half-sister’s strange look.
“That happens with dark magic, but I’ve never heard of anyone experiencing it with elemental magic before.” Amara’s voice was soft, but she was looking at Thea like she was an equation she just couldn’t figure out.
“Well, it’s not exactly normal for anyone to control all four elements,” Declan said, looking around at each of them.
“But if it’s anything like dark magic, the more I use it, the less control I will have,” Thea blurted. She knew elemental magic came from Ainé herself. In fact, Ainé had even told her that this was a gift, but what type of gift came with consequences? And, if dark magic had the same side-effects… “Amara, earlier you told me that using dark magic meant I was giving Morrigan control of my soul…”
“Yes… but Morrigan doesn’t have access to elemental magic—not like Ainé. Darkness separates her from nature.”
Thea’s mind was spinning, not because of this information about dark magic, but because of what her loss of control might mean. Ainé had made it sound like stopping Morrigan relied on Thea having control of all four elements, but what if that wasn’t the only reason the Goddess had gifted her with such abilities? What if there was more to it than just needing a powerful being?
You have been lied to.
No—Ainé had been selective about the information she had given Thea since the day she’d arrived in Faerie. She’d kept her in the dark about nearly everything so Thea would have to learn the hard way, but Thea was beginning to think that wasn’t just so she could learn on her own. There had been moments when Thea hadn’t trusted Ainé, moments when she’d doubted her intentions, but now? This moment was far worse than any she’d had before.
“What’s wrong, Thea?” Haven asked uneasily.
Thea’s heart raced with terror.
If her assumptions were right, then they were in more trouble than any of them knew.
Chapter 20
“That’s not possible.” Declan was pacing the room as Thea explained her fears to her three companions. His eyes looked like they might bulge out of his head, but Thea didn’t have time to worry about his sanity. She stared at Amara, surprising herself with how desperately she needed her half-sister to answer her questions.
“You said that the more I use dark magic, the more Morrigan can control my soul. We know for a fact that Ainé gave me access to all four elements and that no one else has those types of abilities.”
“But she did that so you could stop Morrigan.” Haven was sitting at Declan’s desk now. Her wings made the chair look uncomfortable, and she clenched her hands into fists, trying to absorb everything Thea was saying. “You wouldn’t have survived Malachi and Morrigan if you didn’t have access to all four elements.”
Thea tried not to be offended by that, because it was probably true. She hadn’t grown up with magic. She’d gotten lucky in her fight with her father, because she had so much untampered power bottled up inside her, just waiting to explode at the seams.
“I didn’t stop Morrigan though,” Thea said. “She got out of that prison and my magic didn’t stand a chance against hers. The only reason I survived that fight was because of some freaky connection that formed between us when my blood let her escape.
“Ainé must have known that I couldn’t kill Morrigan, so what if this was insurance? What if she gifted me this magic so she’d have control over me if I failed?”
“Why would she do that, though?” Declan asked, slowing his pacing to stand in front of Thea. “She’s the good Goddess, Thea…”
Thea wasn’t sure if he was trying to convince himself or her, but she was nowhere near convinced. Her gut was screaming something wasn’t right about everything she’d been told, and she needed someone to see that. She needed someone unbiased toward the stories of Ainé’s goodness to look at it with a clear head.
“Amara—” Thea turned to her with pleading eyes. “Tell me you see it. Tell me you understand what I’m saying.”
Amara looked frightened, but Haven looked furious.
“She grew up worshipping Morrigan,” Haven practically spat. “She’s obviously going to agree with you about Ainé being the evil one.”
Thea glared at Haven, watching Amara recoil beneath the venomous words, but the other Fae didn’t back down.
“I need you to forget everything you’ve been told and just listen to me,” Thea pleaded and then looked back to Amara for help.
“It’s possible,” Amara muttered. “I mean, if Morrigan has the power to control someone—then we can assume Ainé does as well. They’re Goddesses who’ve been at war with each other for centuries.”
“Exactly, so how do we know that she isn’t trying to take control over me too? Why give me powers I can’t handle? Why send me away so I don’t know how to control my magic? Why play these mind games where she gives me advice one day and then just disappears without a trace when I really need her?”
Thea hated the words even as she spoke them, but she couldn’t shake the dread.
You’ve been lied to.
Had Morrigan been referring to Ainé when she’d said that? Thea couldn’t just ignore the evidence in front of them.
“So, what are you saying?” Declan asked. His faced looked green. “That Morrigan is the one we should trust? That we’ve been lied to? Because that sounds absolutely insane.”
“I’m saying that maybe neither one of them is actually good. Maybe we are just stuck in the middle of a war between Goddesses, like pawns in their own twisted game.”
The words felt like poison on her tongue and tightened the muscles in her chest. If she was right about this, they were in trouble. If she was right, Thea would lose her soul to one Goddess or the other, but either way, she would lose.
So what was she going to do about it? How was she going to stop this from turning into a complete bloodbath?
“This is madness,” Haven mumbled, sitting on the bed beside Amara. They all looked as if someone had punched them, and Thea struggled beneath the guilt of the burden she had placed on their shoulders. She wanted to ignore the dread twisting inside her. She wanted to pretend that everything was fine, and that Ainé was on their side, but she couldn’t be sure anymore.
“What’s the point of it all?” Amara asked. “No offense, but why bother with you at all? She’s an all-powerful Goddess, right? Why wouldn’t she just go after Morrigan herself if she wanted revenge, or whatever?”
“I don’t know, but I’m going to find out.” Thea looked at each of them, frowning. “I’m done letting other people control my decisions.”
She couldn’t help the anger boiling up inside her, even as the ground beneath her feet shook. The magic she wielded outweighed any sense of control she had, but if Ainé had set her up for this life, then what did that say about her relationship with Kieran? And as Amara had said, why even bother? There had to be something she was missing. There had to be a reason Ainé needed Thea in all o
f this, but she couldn’t exactly ask the Goddess what that reason was.
Ainé had told Thea that she and Kieran were soulmates—a fact Thea didn’t doubt—but what purpose did that play in the bigger plan? Why had Ainé made her soulmate someone she could never be with? Why had she put her in his torturous position with no happy ending in sight? It was one of the smaller concerns Thea had at the moment, and yet, it nagged at her.
She sat opposite Amara while Declan collapsed into the desk chair, his eyes glazing with exhaustion. They’d come here to train so they could save their Goddess, but the revelations that had come instead weighed on each of them. Thea felt that weight heavily upon her own shoulders as she stared at the friends who remained by her side.
“If Ainé isn’t on our side, then going into the prison realm could be a trap. What am I supposed to do with that?”
Thea felt lost. A few hours ago she’d been absolutely sure of her plan. She’d been ready to risk using dark magic to save Ainé, preparing her friends for their tasks. Everything had been in place, but now she feared what going into that realm might mean.
“How do we know she isn’t listening to you right now?” Amara asked, looking around as if Ainé might just appear in the room somewhere.
“One of my guards told me that there are wards in place to keep Morrigan out of our heads. I would assume those wards are doing the same to Ainé,” Thea said. She wondered how those guards felt about her continuing avoidance of them. They’d been on good terms upon their arrival in Gimmerwich, but so much had happened since then. She could only hope they thought she was off running around with Declan this whole time. At least it wasn’t a complete lie.
“Then how did she get in your head that night?” Haven asked with a raised eyebrow. Thea had been wondering the same thing herself, but as she met Declan’s eyes, she knew.
“Why did you kiss me the other night?” she asked him, trying to ignore the shocked looks on both Amara and Haven’s faces. Declan looked confused.
“Because I wanted to,” he said, raising an eyebrow.
“Really? You wanted to kiss me after all that speech about not believing in love and feeling sorry that my soulmate was acting like such a jerk to me? You thought kissing me felt right after saying I needed a friend?” Thea leaned forward, trying to read his expression. She’d been shocked at the time, but more importantly, she’d been angry. Sure, she’d kissed him back, but that wasn’t the point right now. The point was why had he kissed her.
“No…” Declan’s eyes glazed over a little and Thea stood, quickly walking toward him. She placed a hand on each of his cheeks, pulling his face to look at hers. “No… no…” he kept saying, trying to shake his head out of her grip.
“Declan, why did you kiss me?” Thea repeated. The words were soft, but her demand was clear.
“Thea—” Haven started, but Thea shook her head to silence her.
“He needs to say it. I need him to say it.” Thea heard the desperation in her own voice, but she never looked away from Declan.
“She told me to,” he gasped out. A few droplets of sweat had formed on his forehead, and his eyes had become frantic, but he continued to speak. “Ainé told me to kiss you!”
Thea let out the breath she’d been holding and released his face, sinking to her knees in front of him. She’d known something was wrong that night. Her gut had told her that his kiss didn’t make sense, but she could have never guessed this. Declan had been outside the castle walls that day, outside of the village even, on his hunt. He’d been free to whatever influence was there, and that influence hadn’t hesitated to use him. Ainé had told him to kiss her, which was exactly why it had made no sense. She’d deal with the guilt of kissing him back later, but for now, Thea felt relieved that she wasn’t going completely crazy and hadn’t misread their situation.
Declan, on the other hand, looked defeated as he slumped back into his chair.
“Why would she tell me to kiss you?” he asked. His hair stuck to his face where the sweat had formed, and Thea could tell how difficult this was for him to talk about. Whatever magic Ainé had used to influence him, it was still telling him not to talk about it, but Thea had broken through it.
“Because she knew I’d lose control,” Thea said, her voice dropping to a whisper. She looked from Declan to Amara and to Haven, who she knew would be the hardest to convince. “I lost control of my magic that night. It must have broken whatever ward was protecting me in my bedroom, because she got into my head—just barely—to tell me to come to her.”
“So, it is a trap then…” Amara looked stunned.
“It appears so.”
They all stared at one another in silence for a moment, taking in the information they’d discovered. First, Ainé wasn’t telling Thea the full truth. That didn’t necessarily make her a villain, but it made the distrust Thea had fought since the start grow exponentially. That also meant that Morrigan hadn’t been lying. Second, Ainé had used Declan to get to Thea, which he seemed disturbed by as he stared at his hands. Third, and most terrifying, Thea now had two Goddesses fighting over her and no idea whom she was supposed to trust.
“We know why Morrigan wants you,” Haven said, breaking the silence. “You two are connected. So, we are assuming whatever happens to you will also happen to her.”
“Maybe that’s why Ainé wants you too,” Amara said, but Thea just shook her head.
“If Ainé wanted me dead, she would have told Declan to stab me, not kiss me. She needs me alive for something.”
“Something she plans to tell you when you go to that prison realm?” Declan asked, but Thea didn’t know.
If she went to find Ainé, then maybe she’d get the answers she needed, but should she really follow the instructions of someone who seemed to have been playing her every step of the way?
“Morrigan won’t kill you,” Amara said so quietly that Thea almost missed it.
“So?” Haven asked, sounding annoyed.
“So, why not ask her what Ainé has planned? She wanted you to join her, didn’t she?”
“She can’t just walk into Blackmire and ask the Goddess of Death what her sister is planning,” Haven snapped. For once, Amara didn’t shrink away.
“Why not? She can’t just walk into a trap either. At least if she goes to Morrigan, we know she won’t get murdered.”
“No, I just might get locked in a tower for the rest of my life,” Thea mumbled, only half-joking. Morrigan’s threat to lock Thea up seemed ridiculous, but she’d also promised Thea the power to get Kieran back. Despite the consequences that might come with that, the allure of darkness was definitely powerful.
“Then you go with backup,” Amara countered.
“She’d use my backup as leverage.”
They all fell silent, knowing it was true, and Thea sighed. She admitted that Amara was onto something with her idea to talk to Morrigan, but it was too dangerous. If she went anywhere near Morrigan, who knew what might happen to her or those with her? They needed to stay as far away as possible until they figured out some kind of backup plan.
“What if there was another way to talk to Morrigan that didn’t involve physically being there?” Amara asked, her pointed ears perking up in the slightest. She looked at Thea with wide-eyed excitement. “You’ve already done it once, Thea!”
“But she reached out to me, remember?” Thea said, understanding where Amara was going with this. Morrigan had contacted her on their flight to Gimmerwich, but that didn’t mean she could just reach out and talk to her now. Thea had no idea how to talk to the Goddess of Death. All she knew was that she’d almost died the last time they’d spoken. It wasn’t exactly a pleasant memory.
“You asked me to teach you how to use dark magic,” Amara said, moving to kneel beside Thea where she remained in front of Declan. Haven watched from her spot on the bed, lips pursed into a straight line. “Our father spoke to Morrigan by using dark magic. I watched him do it countless times. I’m sure that you c
ould do it too.”
The thought of allowing that darkness into her soul terrified Thea, but she didn’t exactly have a lot of choices. She couldn’t go after Ainé without at least some information on what could be happening. Plus, an enemy of an enemy would be her friend, right? She wasn’t so sure.
Thea swallowed her fear and looked up to meet her half-sister’s determined gaze.
“Let me help you,” Amara whispered, taking Thea’s hands.
Haven sat unmoving on the bed, tension clear in the way she held her wings, and Declan seemed to be holding his breath as they all waited for Thea’s answer. However, Thea’s mind was swimming with uncertainty. Six months ago, she never would have trusted Amara with anything, but now, hope sparked dangerously in the pit of her stomach as she looked at the only blood-relative she had left. Thea had been burnt before by trusting someone when she shouldn’t, and yet, here she was, hoping beyond measure that she could, in fact, trust Amara.
No one could make this decision for her, though; Thea had to be the one who decided.
“Okay,” Thea said. Her gaze drifted from Amara to Haven, but her friend lowered her head into a slow, accepting nod. It was clear Haven was unhappy with the situation, but she appeared to trust Thea enough to let her make her own decisions. Declan had no say in the matter, but he too looked like he was ready to take on whatever challenge they faced. Thea thought it might have something to do with the fact that he’d had his head messed with, but didn’t say so. “Teach me.”
Amara grabbed Thea’s hand and pulled her to sit on the bed beside Haven once more. Thea shifted her wings as she stared up at the determined young Fae in front of her. In a matter of minutes, she had transformed from a frightened teenager into a determined young adult. Thea had to remind herself that Amara was only two years younger than herself.
“Are you ready to let the darkness in, big sister?” Amara asked. The shadow of a wicked smile that had once given Thea nightmares passed over her face.