by Neya Fang
Crane and I worked in sync. It wasn’t until Da and pop, who came out of the office after more than two hours later, that Crane and I were able to take a break.
I wanted to sit and stretch my legs, and we did exactly that. Crane got two beers for us and guided me toward an empty table. We sat and enjoyed our drink.
Now that I was relaxed I finally allowed myself to take in the club. It wasn’t dingy or gothic.
It was warm and inviting, yet there was plenty of masculine touch to it. A pool table on the side, a carrom board placed on the other side of the room, a jukebox sitting in the corner. Dark pieces of furniture, with a touch of red and white. Trendy, yet farm-style lights hanging through the ceiling. Lots of photos hanging on the wall.
Waiters and waitresses wore black leather pants and skirts, white crop tops with black leather vests on top of it, and rounded it off with black combat boots.
Club members wore faded jeans, flannel shirts, or T-shirts and black leather jackets or vests with the club’s logo patch, or medals. Most of them didn’t look like they were bikers. They looked like your everyday men and women.
The club’s windows looked like they were closed from outside but are actually tinted, and during the night they pulled the shutters, blocking the outsiders from looking in.
My eyes roamed the whole main floor, taking in everything inside the club, trying to fit everything in the small corner of my brain.
It wasn’t like I was going to come to the place again?
Unless I did.
I decided to abandon my fears and embrace my true self. Who I was always meant to be.
I watched the people— couples, single men and women talking, laughing, playing. This club was very LGBTQA+ friendly. I could tell just from the sheer number of diversity in its members. Gays, lesbians, bisexuals all kinds of couples were there. I was sure they even had transgender members.
It was good to know there are clubs like these who accept everyone—regardless of their sexuality and gender—and don’t condemn or threaten the members.
I took a sip and looked around me when my gaze focused on a few members who were sitting near the window talking to each other while another man was sitting down on the floor between their feet, curled into himself and licking his hands and feet, scratching his forehead like a dog usually does, then panting insistently with his tongue rolling out, hanging down his chin. Then just as suddenly he started chewing his tail.
Oh, my God, he was a pup.
He was wearing a leather collar around his neck with a name tag, and it had a leash that was wrapped around one of the man’s hands who was sitting at that table. The man periodically scratched the pup’s head and neck. Sometimes he even left his hand down for the pup to smell and lick it.
Every time the pup smelled his master’s hand he closed his eyes as if he smells as good as a chocolate chip cookie.
I’d never seen anything like this. I knew master and pup relationship existed. I also knew master and kitten relationship existed, but I’d never witnessed it.
I would have if I had ventured outside my safety cocoon and didn’t let fear hold me back.
On the next table, I watched two pairs of couples sitting and laughing. Each pair was holding their partner on their lap, and were busy working? reading?
I couldn’t tell what exactly they were doing from here.
“They are daddies and the boys sitting on their laps are the littles.”
Crane’s voice startled me out of my observation and I almost fell off my chair.
Shit.
He laughed when I started muttering about his strong voice and how it scared the bejesus out of me.
“Now look at them.” He pointed to the couples I was observing just a moment back. “Can you tell me what the boys are wearing?”
My gaze locked on the boys and I checked their clothes. Were they wearing a jumpsuit? No, it was something else.
Fucking hell. They were wearing onesies—adult onesies—and there were sippy cups and kiddie bowls and spoons too.
And that was when it hit me. The littles were in character, acting like children, dressing like them and even talking like small children, and they sure were doing all that.
The animated way their hands and mouth moved was the clue I needed to know. They were reading a book and discussing it and their daddies were running their fingers through the boys hair and kissing them from time to time.
“Those boys, Jules and Denny, have stressful jobs. They unwind here from time to time. Jules is a cop, a detective, and Denny is a criminal lawyer. That’s their littles name. Their adult name is Julian and Daniel. Both were in the system and were never adopted. They are foster brothers. They both knew from an early age they wanted a daddy to love them, care for them, take away life’s burden off their shoulders. And they wanted someone to love and care for them, and they found it in their daddies’ arms and life. They know they can be anything in their daddies’ presence.”
I watched for some more time, learning the dynamics between them, understanding some more what their relationship entailed.
But then my eyes captured the couple on the next table. They looked like a normal couple, wore normal adult clothes and conversed like adults, however with a Dom-sub dynamic. But the affectionate way the dom was holding his sub on his lap was just sweet. His smiles, his touches, the way he talked, everything he did shone the love and trust between the two.
“Each daddy and boy’s needs are different. They are looking for something specific, and when they find it they embrace. Some daddies wait for years before finding their boys or littles. Some pups change masters, but finally, settle with the one they trust and love.”
I nodded. I finally understood. I understood; it's what we all look for. "A soulmate to love and care," I whispered.
“Yes. All anyone wants in their life is love and being cared for, and someone to share life with, grow old with. This daddy-boy relation is not that different from your regular vanilla relationship. It’s no different than a Dom-sub relationship, or a master-slave relationship. Like I said before, we all have certain desires that need to be fulfilled by a mutually attracted party and with agreed-upon dynamics and rules of the relationship. It’s not bad, just different.”
I wanted that. I wanted that special someone in my life. Someone to love me, take care of me, spend their life with me. I wanted a daddy. I wanted to be someone’s boy.
I knew I didn’t crave to be a little, or a pup or a kitten. I was a natural sub, but I longed to be someone’s boy. Watching all the daddies and their boys made me realize that.
However, who would want me? Why would they want me?
I looked down at myself, my eyes taking stock of my body. The big belly protruding out of my sweater, my chubby, wrinkly hands, my overall plump being. My body was nothing fancy or fit like the others in the room. In fact, I had nothing to offer even if I found a daddy.
I snorted internally. What could I offer? Ignorant, clueless brain and lots of emotional baggage that I was still trying to figure out, that was what.
The ache in my chest grew, spreading all over my body, so intense, I felt the loneliness into my bones. Tears stung my eyes, but I blinked them away.
I was no good. No daddy would want this… this… me. I was pathetic. Aged.
“You can have all that, Auden.”
I shook my head, not meeting his eyes. “No.” No amount of blinking was slowing the tears from filling my eyes. I wanted to hide somewhere, anywhere, but be here.
All the people must have been wondering what a guy like Crane were doing with a man like me.
Fat.
Old.
Piteous.
“Look at me, boy.”
His command stilled my body, stopped the nervous energy in my veins, locked the breath I had taken in my lungs.
Slowly, I lifted my head and faced him.
“That’s better.” He took my hand and spoke gently. “I promise you can have that and so mu
ch more. You will.”
“Who will want me? I have nothing to offer, Crane.” My voice cracked, and the ache in my chest intensified with vengeance, making it difficult to talk.
“Me. I want you.”
My head snapped up and I looked at him wide-eyed.
Did I hear him correctly? Did he just say he wanted me?
He did.
My Gods, he did.
Cue the jaw meeting the floor. In fact, my jaw had gone beyond the floor. It was underground and very difficult to find.
“Close your mouth, boy. You don’t want the flies to find a spot and live there, do you?”
Immediately, I found my jaw and shut my mouth, then let my tongue out to lick my dry lips.
I was still digesting his words.
He wanted me.
He wanted me.
Me!
“So, where was I? Aah, yes, I want you, and you have plenty to offer. Your heart for one, your trust is the second, your acceptance of us is the third, and your body is the fourth.”
“But… but… you should… there must… I’m old. Don’t you want a y-y-y-yo-younger boy?”
“Remember what I told you this afternoon that age is just a number. It doesn’t matter how old you are or I am. What matters is the daddy inside me recognizes you as my boy. My heart skipped a beat, then beat faster than ever before when my gaze connected with yours in the store, and I felt the zing down to my bones when we touched. Seeing you stressed and in tears called for the daddy inside me to protect you, take care of you.”
I opened my mouth to say something, but nothing would come out, nothing passed my lips.
“You, Auden Hennessy, are my boy. My heart and soul recognizes it. It just does. I don’t know how, but it does. So the question that bears to be asked right now is if you’ll have me as your daddy?”
“But… but… what? why? You can’t be serious?”
“I’m dead serious. And the next thing I want to hear coming out of your mouth is either yes or no, and nothing else. So think before you speak.” He gave me a firm smile, still holding my hand in his.
I opened my mouth to say, but stopped when he raised his brows.
“Yes or no, Auden. Yes or no,” he punctuated each word.
God, it was harder than I thought it would be.
I never imagined I would find a daddy—more like, I never thought a daddy would ask me to be his boy—this soon.
I sat and made the pros and cons list in my head, and there were more pros than cons. Okay, so there was only one con—my age— but it was an important one.
I didn’t want him to regret later in life when he realized I wasn’t as flexible as some of the youngin boys and littles in this room.
However, that shouldn’t stop me from accepting his proposal.
Should I hold myself back because I was older than my daddy? Because I feared he’d leave me for a younger boy somewhere in the near future? A future no one knew about how it would pan?
“No, embrace him. Accept him. Accept you. Accept love and care,” a voice whispered in my head.
Accept me. The words resonated with something my father used to say to me.
“Don’t ever change for anyone, Auden. Always be you. You are perfect the way you are. Don’t let fear hold you back. Even with your shortcomings, accept you.”
Accept me. I was going to accept me. I was going to embrace me. Embrace him. Accept us.
I wasn’t a fool. As my dad used to quote to me, "You can give a person knowledge, but you can't make them think. Some people want to remain fools only because the truth requires change. - Terry A. Gaskins Jr.”
I can do this. I can do this. I can do this.
I will do this.
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, then opened and looked into his. My heart was racing, but a calmness I had never felt ever seeped into my body, coursing through my veins and bones.
“Yes. Okay. I accept you as my daddy…” He opened his mouth to say something, but I cut him off. “…but I have one condition.”
“Anything.”
“Hear me out first, please.”
“Okay, okay.”
“If and when you find yourself falling in love, or attracted to another boy, please tell me and break things off amicably. Don’t lie to me, don’t cheat on me. I will never hold you back from finding love. So when you do just let me know, because I don’t want to wonder what I did wrong, or where I went wrong in expressing myself in this relationship. Let’s keep this relationship of ours transparent. No hiding or lying.”
“That will never happen. I have finally found you, and I’m never letting you go. You are mine, Auden Hennessy. My boy.”
“Okay.” There was no point in arguing with him. He couldn’t promise me that he won’t fall in love with someone else. Everyone had a soulmate for them. Crane did too. He just hadn’t met him. Yet.
Or had he?
“Now what?”
“Now, you let me in and we’ll make the rules as we go.” He smiled and lifted my hands to his lips, kissing it with such tenderness, I’d never seen a giant do before.
And he was a giant. My giant daddy.
Chapter 6
Crane
Today was the yearly Christmas party. That meant we’d be going to the Abditory. I’d booked a room for us at the club. Auden had expressed—well, more like I’d tortured it out of him with plenty of scandalous kisses in public— some of his fantasies. I was excited and scared.
Excited because he’d finally get to see this facet of my life, and he’d also meet plenty more daddies and their boys and littles, and pups and kittens, and I’m going to fulfill one of his fantasy tonight. And scared because the event might overwhelm him and he might want to back out of everything—being my boy, being with me, embracing us—and just say fuck it.
We also got tested last week. I didn’t want anything between us when I finally filled him with my dick.
For the past two weeks, I had been courting Auden. Learning him, about him. What he likes, what he doesn’t, what kind of life he had lived, what kind of life he was living. Anything and everything. I couldn’t take care of him like I would have liked, but I made do. I made sure he was spending every waking moment of his with me, except at night.
We weren’t there, yet.
I showed him various facets of my life too. The kind of work we did at the club, what’s our motto, what we believe in, how we served the community, how we helped those who were on hard times, needed help, didn’t have anywhere to go, and more importantly what community expected from us.
He helped where he could, like manning the bar or help Da and Pop with strategies to a new business venture, helped clean the club after the club was closed for the day.
Even when he didn’t know how to do certain things, he would spend time to learn and help.
So humble and emphatic.
We did some fun things too.
We went on movie dates, dinners, shopping, cooking, visited few art museums in the bay area, but mostly we spent our time at the club bar helping Da and Pop. And did I tell you I also stole a few kisses—full-on French kiss where teeth and tongues come into play, where saliva is exchanged—here and there when I could? Oh, yeah, I did. And in public. It was fun to see the scandalized look on his face, the heat smooched cheeks, and the way his body shivered every time my lips touched his.
I knew he loved it when I did that, claimed him in front of everyone.
The first time I’d kissed was one week after meeting him on black Friday.
I also took him on several bike rides when it wasn’t raining in the bay area.
I had even introduced Auden to a few of the boys who were members of the Saints of Bay.
He’s already friends with few, with whom he talked daily. Julius and Daniel were among those boys, however, he also got along greatly with Jules and Danny. The club boys called themselves Saints of bay boys.
Whatever that meant.
I was just gl
ad he found people he resembled and was friends with. No more being alone. He’d found his tribe. His family and family stuck together.
It had been a pretty busy two weeks.
He also found out that our busboy, Embry, was a struggling artist who was trying to make big in the industry with his paintings, but no one would give him a chance.
Auden took one look at his paintings and fell in love with them. He’d told Embry he wanted to see all his paintings and promised to showcase his work in his gallery.
“What’s the dress code for today’s party?”
Auden’s question pulled me out of my reverie.
“Hmm?”
“Dress code for today’s party? Is there any?”
“Oh, no. no dress code.” I shook my head. “Most will be naked. Well, almost naked.”
“W-what? Naked?”
“Yeah.” I nodded, then frowned when I saw the scared look on his face. “What’s the matter?”
“W-what kind of p-p-p-pa-party is that? I-i don’t want to be n-n-na-na-naked in front of the people. I-I-I-I’m not comfort-ta-ta-table.”
I could see the anxiety getting the best of him. He needn’t have worried himself so much over a piece of clothing, but I understand where he was coming from. He was still insecure about his body, how he looked, his age.
I was working on it. One step a day.
“Okay, then don’t be naked. Wear your normal clothes, or come in pajamas, or hell, come in a burlap sack. No one would care whether you were dressed or not.”
He nodded, wringing his hand. “Yeah, o-okay.”
“Club members don’t care what one looks like. It’s not that kind of club. Didn’t I tell you?”
“Um, no. No, you didn’t.” He rubbed the back of his neck, then moved his hand up to his head, running his fingers restlessly through his hair. “So what kind of Club is this?”
I was dumbfounded that I hadn’t mentioned about Abditory to him before. “I really didn’t tell you?”
“Uh, no, you didn’t.”
Shit! Fuck! Crap!
“Uh, well, it's sort of… you know, like… I mean a type of…” I paused several times, trailing in between the words, trying to figure out how to tell him. “It’s a club where all the facets of BDSM lifestyle come together,” I spoke fast.