“Goddamn it. Whoever leaked it just made my job a hundred times harder. There will be a thousand sightings of the girl all over the city. Resources are already fucked off because of the Holly Springs situation. The whole city is ready to pop off. You know Simmons? His cruiser was torched at the vigil. Some jackass threw a Molotov cocktail. I read the reports; shit went bad fast. From what I heard, Brown looked like he was gonna piss himself. Everyone talks. Everyone’s heard the rumors, but no one will do shit about it because Brown’s reach is far and wide. Well beyond SFPD.”
“You want me to dig? Say the word; I’d be happy to reach out to some guys I know. Brown was investigated by internal affairs for misconduct twice before he took the job as Top Cop. He was dirty before he was PC and mark my words he’s dirty now. Question is, how far are you willing to go? The boat isn’t gonna rock, Mac. It’s gonna fucking capsize.”
I had been ignoring the rumors for a long time. Long enough that I was ashamed. I’d looked the other way on a lot, believing that, at the end of the day I was doing my job. I was making the streets safer. But was I really? Or was I now part of the problem?
“Capsize it,” I told him.
“And blowback? I can’t guarantee this won’t get messy. Brown has eyes and ears everywhere.”
“I cannot serve under a man that I know is dirty. I’ve turned the other way for too long. I’d rather hand in my shield.”
Reid studied me before he added, “I’m talking about more than your shield.”
“You’re not the only one that is owed markers. I’ve gathered enough over the years that I’m not worried. Besides, that’s why I keep the famous Logan Reid as a friend. No one is stupid enough to fuck with you.”
“Jackass,” Reid mumbled.
“Hate to change subjects but I need to talk to you about Laura,” I started. Reid’s face got hard, and his mouth turned down. It seemed she wasn’t well liked at the moment. I couldn’t blame him, but I was hoping to change that. “I’ve been seeing her for the better part of a year.”
“Yeah? I gathered that much. Even though it wasn’t you that told me. Right after that knowledge was imparted, I also found out she’d been cheatin’ on you. I don’t think there’s much to talk about.”
Damn. I hadn’t thought that Reid would be pissed that I hadn’t told him I was seeing Laura.
“Quinn Alexander is not her boyfriend. She lied. He’s a Deputy US Marshal,” I told him.
“What the fuck? Then why’d she say he was?”
“That’s what I need to talk to you about.”
For the next thirty minutes, I explained everything I knew about Harper Russo and her brother Frankie. Some of it was from Quinn, and the rest of the information was what I’d dug up on my own.
“Holy shit. That explains a lot,” he replied, his expression clouded over. “I fucked up. Ever since I saw you and Laura together at the wedding, I’d been meaning to run her through the system. I knew there was something wrong. All of her answers were practiced; it felt like she had her past memorized instead of having memories. Something was off. Shit, man, I’ve been so wrapped up in my family, I let it slide. Sorry.”
“There is nothing to be sorry for. I could’ve run her just as easily. I wanted her to tell me. I didn’t want to dig for it. I’ve tried for months to get close to her, and she shuts me down around every turn. Every time I think I’m getting in, she reminds me it’s just sex—nothing more. The day Quinn showed up at the café? I had made my decision to call her on all her shit and demand she tell me what was going on,” I explained.
“Where do we go from here?” he asked.
There it was—Reid being the friend I knew him to be. He’d wade into the situation to help, no matter what the consequences.
“We, don’t go anywhere. I need you clear of this. You have Ava and the kids to think about. I don’t want to pull you in and put your family in danger. We’re not talking about some petty lowlife here. Frankie Russo has a far reach and the money to get shit done. He put up a million dollars to have his kid sister whacked. His own flesh and blood. No way are you touching this. I just needed you to know what was going on.”
Before I could tell him about what I found at Laura’s house, he cut me off. “Fuck that noise. You know me better than that. Besides, I have resources you don’t. My hands aren’t tied with department procedures. You can’t even put an APB out on her. What the fuck are you gonna do?”
“I’ve already had a meet with Nico Tuscani. I offered him a way to get to Russo.”
“The fuck!” Reid thundered. “You had a meet with Tuscani alone? Jesus Christ, you know what it means to owe a fucking mobster a marker? He’ll own you—for the rest of your life. Nico is ruthless—word is he’s making moves to take back territory his father lost. That means there is about to be a war. A war he’s gonna drag your ass into. Nico Tuscani does not skirt the law like Blaze and Iron Claw. He will not respect your boundaries like Blaze does. Nico will dirty you up so fucking fast and not give two shits when you go down.”
Reid wasn’t telling me anything I didn’t already know. Everything he had told me, I had already thought of and made peace with.
“I can’t let her die,” I explained.
“I get that, brother. I don’t want her to get hurt either. But, there has to be another way.”
“No, you don’t get it…” I was cut off when my phone started ringing. I quickly pulled it out, hoping it was Tuscani telling me he wanted to meet again.
Not recognizing the area code, I answered and was met with silence on the line.
“Hello?” I tried again.
I tuned the noises out around me and zeroed in on the breathing on the other end; it was faint and muffled. It was Laura, I knew it was. My heart rate kicked up and I strained to hear anything that would clue me in to where she was.
“I can hear you breathing. I can help you,” I said, lowering my voice. I tried to sound reassuring when I continued. “Just tell me where you are, and I’ll come get you.” The background noise was nearly silenced. She must’ve covered the mouthpiece with her hand. “Laura, please.” I heard a muffled whimper and hurried to continue. “I know everything. I can help.”
“How?” she whispered.
Perfect, she was talking. Now I had to convince her to let me help.
“Trust me, baby, I can make you safe,” I promised.
“You can’t. No one can. Just forget me, Mac.”
Damn. She was getting ready to hang up. So damn independent.
“I’ll never stop looking for you. I’ll go to the ends of the earth to find you,” I rushed out.
The line disconnected, and I turned to Reid. “She’s at a truck stop. I could hear the traffic and the distinct sound of a Jake-brake.”
Dustin entered Reid’s office, laptop in hand. “Give me the number,” he said before he had even sat down at a desk.
“She’ll be gone before we trace it. There is no way she’d call from an unblocked number if she wasn’t planning on leaving the location. Quinn taught her better than that.”
I had to pray that was the case. I needed her to be smart until I could find her.
“It will give us a starting point,” Reid said.
He wasn’t getting it. There was no way he was coming with me.
I fingered Laura’s necklace in my pocket. The small token made me feel a little closer to her.
6
sweetest torture
Laura
He knew. Mac knew. Quinn must’ve panicked when I left and enlisted Mac’s help to find me. In a moment of weakness, I had confided in him that I had feelings for Mac. I had to be smarter than this if I wanted to stay alive. Not that Quinn would knowingly put my life in danger; however, he had unwittingly altered the state of play.
Quinn didn’t understand that Mac would put his life on the line to find me. I knew him, I’d watched him with Ava. Mac was fierce and hugely protective of those he loved. Not that he loved me; he didn’t know me.
But he was a man that would help anyone in danger. It was ingrained in him; he wore it like a second skin. I didn’t want Mac to be involved—I wanted him to forget me. Find a nice normal woman and settle down. A woman that could give him a family. Selfishly, my heart constricted at the thought.
I slammed the handset back on the base and resisted the urge to bang it a few more times. There was no time to indulge in another pity party. I had to lock all my feelings down and concentrate on surviving. He’d forget me; he had to.
I went back into the truck stop’s diner and looked around. As much as I needed to move, I also had to be careful. I glanced around, trying to find a woman truck driver. They were rare but did exist. When I didn’t find a female, I went about looking for the safest looking man. My gaze landed on an older gentleman sitting at a table by himself. He was neatly dressed, reading the newspaper. I watched him for a few moments; I wasn’t sure what I was looking for. It wasn’t like he was going to stand up and announce to the restaurant he was a serial killer.
I had learned the hard way that looks could be deceiving. A murderer can wear five-thousand-dollar suits, and an innocent man can have a plethora of tattoos, whistle a creepy song, and eat pumpkin pie for breakfast. My brother was the prime example. He was educated, finely dressed, and he killed men, women, and children.
After careful consideration, I approached the man. “Excuse me, sir?”
The man looked up from his paper, and his eyes stayed on my face. No creepy perusal of my body. “Yes?” he asked.
“I’m sorry to bother you. I was wondering if you happened to be going north?” I asked.
He studied me for long moments before he answered. “Headed to Oregon,” he answered.
“I was wondering if you’d mind a passenger. I can pay you for the ride,” I told him and quickly added, “with cash.” When his eyes narrowed.
“You in trouble with the law?” he asked. I shook my head. “There gonna be a man comin’ around causing trouble?”
I thought about lying and telling him no, but there was something about this man that inspired honesty. He looked like someone’s grandfather, and I didn’t want to put him in harm’s way.
“There could be. I’m sorry to have bothered you. Thank you for your time.”
I’d have to find another way. I turned to leave when the man sighed and called out before I could get far. “Come sit down a minute.” When I twisted to look at him, he gestured to the seat across from him. “Name’s Steve.”
I sat across from him, wrapping both hands around my to-go coffee cup. It had long run empty, but I needed something to hold onto. I was tired of this, running, lying, pretending not to care about anyone. I wanted it to end, but it never would. This was my life—my destiny.
“What’s your name?” he asked.
I hadn’t thought of what my new name was going to be and blurted out the first one that came to mind. “Aubrey,” I answered.
“Nice to meet you, Aubrey. I didn’t say no. I only want to know if I’m gonna have to shoot my way outta here.” Steve smiled, obviously trying to make light of the situation.
“There’s a strong possibility,” I told him. He thought I was joking, but it was the God’s honest truth.
“I’m not planning on leaving until tonight. I just pulled in and need to get some sleep. I’m pullin’ out at nine tonight. Slot thirty-one. If you’re interested, meet me at my rig. She’s electric blue, SE Trucking on the side. You can’t miss her,” he offered.
That was nearly twelve hours from now. Twelve long hours, hours in which anything could happen. Other than my call to Mac, I’d been careful. I looked around the room again. I had no choice but to wait. As judgmental as it was, everyone else in the room creeped me out.
“I’d appreciate it,” I thanked him before I stood and smiled. “I’ll meet you there.”
“Have you eaten?” he asked.
“I have, thank you,” I lied.
He studied me once again; clearly he knew I wasn’t telling the truth. My stomach was in knots, but I had to save every dime I could. Eating wasn’t an option. “You run into any trouble before we pull out. You come find me.”
That was nice of him to offer, but I wouldn’t. My brother’s soldiers didn’t care who they hurt. Anyone who stood in their way died. Yet another reason I had to get as far away from Mac as I could.
I would never be able to live with myself if something happened to Mac because of me. Or Ava, Reid, and their kids. There was no room in my life for friendships.
“Thank you. I will.”
On shaky legs, I walked back to the room I had rented last night. Once I was safely hidden, I let out a long exhale and flopped onto the hard bed. I needed to get some sleep if I was going to be awake all night driving. There was no way I could fall asleep in a truck with a man I didn’t know. Even if he seemed nice.
I closed my eyes and thought of Mac.
When I opened the door to let Mac in, the first thing I noticed was his eyes. They were wild and troubled; a storm was brewing behind the deep blue orbs. Something had happened to make him call me and demand he come over. He rarely exerted his control outside of the bedroom. We had a contract firmly in place—limits and roles clearly defined.
He reached out and traced the gold links that circled my throat. A gift from him—a collar. He brushed my hair over my shoulder and goose bumps rose where he’d gently grazed my bare skin. With my hair out of the way, he had an unobstructed view of my breasts. My skin pebbled further when he traced a line from my collarbone down to my areola. My nipple hardened as he ran his finger around it before he gave me a hard pinch.
“You are beautiful. Do you hear me, Laura? Absolutely beautiful,” he said. I hated that he called me Laura. I wanted to hear him call me by my real name. The name that my mother had given me.
My head snapped up, and my eyes once again searched his face for answers. Before I could analyze the emotion, it was gone. He schooled his features and continued his expert exploration of my body. I needed this time as much as Mac did. This was the only time I allowed myself to lose control. I could let go and know that Mac would take care of me. Not only physically but I could quiet my noisy mind and pretend I wasn’t a fraud.
“Thank you,” I whispered. “May I?” I glanced down at his already stiff cock.
“Yes, honey, you may,” he answered.
I wasted no time working his zipper down and pulled his cock out, not bothering to remove his pants or even push them down further than his thighs. I dropped to my knees in front of him and positioned him at my mouth. Without thought, I licked around his engorged head, losing myself in the taste of him. All too quickly he ended my fun and pulled his cock from my mouth. He bent, hoisted me up, and carried me to the kitchen table.
“Hands above your head,” he demanded.
I did as he asked and my skin heated as he stared down at me, his gaze eating up every inch of my exposed skin. I spread my legs wider before he asked and shivered when his eyes flared in appreciation. A single swipe of his tongue over my pussy had me withering in anticipation. He stood and with a single thrust, he was fully seated inside of me. It didn’t take him more than a few hard thrusts and I was panting. He knew he had me nearing orgasm and pulled out, letting his cock rest on my clit. I let out a groan of impatience and Mac smiled. His stare was smoldering as he took his cock in hand and teased around my entrance before he bent over and took my mouth in a bruising kiss, making sure his cock continued to rub my sensitive clit in sync with every brush of his tongue on mine.
I needed him closer and let my hands glide over his back even though he’d told me to put them over my head. “I need your cock, baby,” I said against his lips.
“Greedy,” he replied and reached between us, dragging the head of his cock over my clit one last time before he pushed in again.
“Aiden,” I groaned.
“Yes, honey?” he teased, only giving me the first couple inches of his cock.
“More
. Harder. Please.”
He stood back up, put both of my legs over his shoulders, and hit that perfect spot. He pounded into me, hard and rough. Just the way I liked it.
My orgasm built fast and furious. My hips bucked to meet his thrusts and I screamed my pleasure. A few more deep thrusts and he pulled out, jerking his cock. I watched as he marked me with his come. First on my belly, then on my breasts. The sight had my insides clenching. “Aiden,” I moaned when the sexy show was over and let my head rest back on the kitchen table.
“Right here, honey,” he answered.
Mac kissed over my scars, breaking the sex-fueled spell. I hated those scars. I hated that Mac always kissed them so reverently. Those scars reminded me of everything that was stolen from me. I knew he had questions about them. He had asked more than once now what they were from. I would never tell him. I would never tell anyone why I had them. They were disgusting and hideous. The day I got those scars my life had ended. Every dream, every hope, everything.
This was the hardest part of being with Mac. When we were in a D/s scene or when we were having sex, it was easy. My mind was occupied. We were like two crazy people that couldn’t get enough of each other’s bodies.
I wasn’t thinking about my past or my future. I wasn’t trying my hardest to ignore his tender kisses. His soft touches. He deserved better than this. He needed more than I could ever give him. In a different life, he would’ve been the perfect man for me. I would’ve allowed myself to get lost in him. I wanted to get lost in him.
But I couldn’t. It wasn’t in my cards. I had been dealt a crap hand, and now all I could do was try my hardest not to lose what was left of my shitty life. I had to cut him loose and move on. I was a bad bet, that was for sure. And Mac was a good man and had already lost once. He didn’t deserve what I was going to do to him.
“I’m sorry I was so short in my text message,” Mac said against my skin. “It has been a shitty day. But, I shouldn’t have demanded you be here.”
“It’s okay. I was more surprised is all. Ava and JJ okay?” I asked.
Trust Page 4