by Hamel, B. B.
And pregnant.
God, I’m pregnant.
Every day is a new exercise in anxiety and fear. I’m afraid of having the baby, afraid of what’ll come after. I’m afraid I’ll never have the life I’ve always wanted because I got pregnant by a total stranger.
I’m just afraid. Every day, I’m afraid.
And I need to end it now.
I shower and get dressed. When I’m ready, I call Shaun, and he answers right away.
“Hey there,” he says. “Glad you called. I was thinking of you.”
“Can you come into the Truth Hurts office today?”
He hesitates. “I guess this isn’t a social call then.”
“No. Can you come in?”
“When?”
“Now. Whenever.”
“I can leave in ten.”
“Okay. I’ll meet you there.”
I hang up the phone and stare at myself in the mirror.
I now this is the right thing, but it hurts, hurts so fucking much.
The drive isn’t too bad. There’s traffic of course, but I’m used to the traffic. I put on a podcast I like and lose myself in the mindless comedy. I pull into the lot just as Shaun’s getting out of his car.
“Hey,” he says, wandering over toward me.
“Hey.” I tilt my head. “Were you waiting?”
“I was,” he admits. “Is that weird?”
“No.” I smile at him. “It’s sweet.”
That makes him frown. “Okay. Are you being nice?”
“I don’t know.” I start walking to the building. “Does it matter? I mean, we don’t have to hate each other.”
“I don’t hate you,” he says, his voice low. “I don’t hate you at all, Klara. You know how I feel.”
I glance at him. “You think you want me. But you don’t really want me at all. You just want the idea of me.”
He laughs. “There’s no idea of you. There’s just you.”
“Come on, Shaun. We don’t know each other!”
“And yet you’re pregnant with my baby.” He stops and grabs my arms. He stares into my eyes, his grip tight, his gorgeous face intense. “Tell me you haven’t felt it,” he says.
“Felt what?”
“You know what I’m talking about. Every time we’re together, it’s all over your face.”
“What is?” I ask, my voice a whisper.
“Lust, but more than that. You like being around me.”
“You’re charming, that’s all.”
“No, I’m not. You just like me. You think I’m funny. We mesh, Klara.”
I stare at him and I know he’s right. I hate him for it a little bit, but I know he’s right. Which is why I have to do what I’m about to do.
“Come on,” I say, pulling away. His grip relaxes and he lets me go. “Let’s head inside.”
He follows me into the offices. We walk past Lucy and I barely even glance at her. I lead him through the cubes until we end up right outside of my father’s door.
I knock once, twice, then head inside.
He’s sitting back in his chair with his feet up on his desk smoking from a bong.
“Oh, god damn it, Dad,” I say.
“Shut the door,” he says, letting smoke curl from his mouth. He coughs and laughs, and the room stinks like weed.
Shaun sighs and shuts the door.
“You want some?” he asks. “Legal weed is the best weed.”
“No, thanks,” I say.
“I’m good,” Shaun adds.
“Suit yourselves.” He takes another huge hit, the water bubbling. He pulls out the stem and breathes in deep before blowing it back out in huge clouds. “God damn, that’s good stuff.”
I make a face and glance at Shaun. He’s shaking his head with a frown on his lips.
“What can I do for you two?” Dad says, putting the bong down.
“I want to talk to you both,” I say.
“Great, because we’re both here. Good morning, by the way.” Dad grins at us.
I move further into the office and lean back against a filing cabinet. Shaun stays near the door, his arms crossed. He glares at my father for a long moment before looking at me. “What’s going on?” he asks.
“This contest,” I say.
“What about it?” Dad asks. “Do you like it so far, by the way? I thought it would be fun, a little trip down memory lane.”
Shaun glares at him again. “You’re an asshole, you know that?”
Dad laughs and shrugs. “I know it.”
“Dad. Shaun.” I look at them both until I have their attention. “I’m dropping out.”
“What?” Shaun says.
Dad just laughs.
“I’m dropping out,” I say to Shaun. “Let’s face it. He doesn’t want me to win, we both know it. This whole contest is just trying to soften me up for when he inevitably chooses to sell to you, regardless of whether I win or not.”
Shaun shakes his head. “I don’t think that’s it. That’s not it, right, Aldo?”
Dad laughs again, shakes his head. “Fuck if I know.”
“See,” I say, gesturing at him. “The man’s deranged. He’s high at nine in the morning. This isn’t a man that gives a shit about anything anymore. He’ll let me win this contest then take the money and try to tell me that he loves me, look at all the effort he went through to show me that, but sorry, money is money.” I shake my head. “I’m not going through that.”
“Is this just because you lost last night?” Shaun asks.
Anger flares briefly. “No,” I snap. “If I got there even a couple minutes sooner, I would’ve beaten your sorry ass.”
He smirks at me. “I know.”
“Whatever contest Dad has for this last one, I know I’ll win that one, too. But this is about my dignity. And about my—” I cut myself off. Dad doesn’t know that I’m pregnant, and I don’t really want him to find out… ever, if I can manage it. “I’m just not in a good place for this.”
Shaun shakes his head. “Klara—”
“No,” I say. “I’m out. I called you here so that you can sign with him now and get it all over with. I’m done.”
“Klara,” Shaun says again, but I’m already walking to the door. I open it and walk out. Shaun follows me. “You can’t do this,” he says.
“Go back in there and make my stupid father sell. He’s high so you can probably rip him off.”
“Klara,” he says. “Stay in the contest. Beat me fair and square.”
I shake my head. “No.” I reach the exit and he stops there. I look back at him. “Just go buy the place. That’s what you want, right?”
“Only to get closer to you.”
I smile at him. “Sorry, Shaun.” I turn away and walk off across the parking lot.
He doesn’t follow.
I get into my car and head home. I feel free for the first time in a long time. I didn’t officially quit the job yet, but I’m going to make that clear later on when Dad isn’t stoned. I just hope that Shaun turns Truth Hurts into a decent production company, instead of the trash it is right now.
Or not. I guess it doesn’t matter.
It’s just reality TV.
I have more pressing concerns. Like this baby, and like making money to support her.
I smile as I speed back toward my apartment.
10
Shaun
I park outside of a nondescript apartment building and get out of my car. It’s boring on the outside, but it’s relatively close to the Truth Hurts offices. I walk to the front door and slip inside. I plan on buzzing, but someone’s on their way out as I approach. I grab the door and slip past.
Klara lives on the second floor, apartment four. I ride the elevator up and get off. I walk down the hall and stop outside of her door. Fortunately for me, her father was high enough to just tell me where she lives when I asked him.
I could’ve gotten more. I could’ve gotten him to sing. He even said he was ready, si
nce his daughter quit on him. But that’s not what I want.
It was at first. I wanted to buy the company and give it to Klara. But clearly she’ll hate me for it and never take the place.
So now I need her to win.
I knock and wait a long moment. The door unlocks and opens a crack. Klara looks at me, clearly surprised.
“Shaun,” she says.
“Your dad told me where you live. He’s talkative when he’s stoned.”
She frowns at me. “I thought I made it clear that I wanted to be left alone.”
I push the door open and don’t wait for an invitation. She stumbles back and lets out an angry sound. I look around at her place and smile a little. “Just like what I pictured.”
“And what’s that?” she asks, shutting the door with a sigh.
“Clean, attractive, simple.” I tilt my head. “Just like you.”
“Weird compliment. But okay.”
“Listen, I’m not here to fight.”
“Good.” She walks over and sits on the couch. She stretches her legs out onto a simple coffee table. “I’m not in the mood for that.”
I linger for a long moment before sitting down next to her. She doesn’t try to move away. I just sit there and let out a long breath before she puts her head on my shoulder. I put my arm around her and pull her against me. She doesn’t fight and seems to melt into my body.
“I still hate you, you know,” she says.
“I can tell.”
“It’s just that, I think I want you even more than I hate you. Is that weird? I think it’s weird.”
“I don’t know,” I admit. “Probably a little weird.”
“Oh, well.” She sighs. “I’m just so tired. I feel like I’ve been fighting my dad my whole adult life and now I’m finally done.”
“You shouldn’t be done,” I say.
“Didn’t you buy the place?”
“No, I didn’t.”
She looks up at me, clearly surprised. “Why not? You had him. He would’ve handed it over to you.”
“I know. But I asked him to tell me where you live instead.”
“Shaun…”
“Listen to me.” I look down into her eyes and press her back into the couch. She stares at me, surprised, but she doesn’t struggle. “You need to fight for this.”
“Fight how?”
“I don’t know,” I say. “Stay in the contest. Try to beat me.”
“What’s the point?”
“The point is, you get your dignity and your company. Walking away gets you neither.”
Her anger flares. God, I love that about her. She struggles against me but I pin her down harder.
“You don’t know anything about my dignity,” she says.
“I know that you need to win. I thought that if I bought the company and gave it to you… I thought that would work. That you’d want to be near me if you got what you wanted. Obviously, I was wrong.”
“You really were going to give it to me?” she asks.
“I swear it. I still will, if you want.”
She bites her lip. “No.”
“I didn’t think so.” I relax my grip and lean into her. She closes her eyes but my lips brush past hers. “You like the fight,” I whisper in her ear.
“Maybe I do,” she admits.
“So then fight. It’s not about beating me anymore. It’s about winning this contest and taking what’s yours.”
I pull back and she’s breathing fast. She’s back in comfortable clothes after having on her work outfit earlier. Tight black yoga pants, same low-cut tank top. Her breasts heave up and down and I want to kiss them, suck her nipples, make her moan.
But not yet. God, just not yet.
“You’re just going to let me win,” she says.
“I won’t. And I don’t think I’ll have to. This reality TV shit… you were born to it.”
She laughs a little. “My dad said that too.”
“He might be right. You’re clever, Klara. You’re clever and fucking gorgeous.” I do kiss her neck then, and her cheek. “You don’t even realize it.”
“God,” she whispers, half moan, half sigh. “How did things get so complicated?”
“You got pregnant,” I say. “Pregnant by a very, very rich man.”
“Oh, the horror.”
“I know.” I smirk and bite her lower lip. She stares at me, mouth hanging open, plump and gorgeous.
“So I should come back,” she whispers.
“Come back and fucking win. Force your father’s hand.”
“What if he sells to you anyway?”
“Then I’ll buy the company in your name.”
She arches an eyebrow. “Really?”
“Really. That’s what I’ve always wanted. But we both know that won’t happen. You’re going to win this game, one way or another.”
“Shaun—”
“Stop being so afraid,” I say.
The anger flares up again. “I’m not afraid.” She struggles back against me.
I pin her harder. “Yes, you are.” I kiss her chest then, and I know I’m losing control of myself. When she struggles, it drives me wild. I’d let her go in a heartbeat if she said the word, but we both know what she wants, where this is heading. “You’re afraid you’ll lose. You’re afraid your father won’t live up to his word. You’re afraid the world will come tumbling down when you have that baby. But I’m here to say nothing bad will happen, because you have me.”
“I don’t know if I want you.”
I chuckle. “You do.”
I kiss her then, slow and deep, and she moans into my mouth.
11
Klara
His kiss ignites me. I go from passive, radiating anger, to a burning white-hot flame. I push against him, kissing him hard, tasting his tongue in my mouth, moaning against his strong body.
He keeps me pinned and it drives me wild. I fight him, struggle, but it’s like fighting a wall. He’s strong and powerful and every time he pushes me down harder, I feel another jolt of energy and desire flood all over my body. His grip moves up into my hair and pulls it, kissing my neck, my lips, my chest. His other hand pushes my tank top up, over my bra, and his lips move down to kiss my stomach and my chest.
I moan and pull his hair hard. He grunts and grins at me. He pushes my legs open and bites my lower lip as he slides a hand down between my legs. I moan and arch my back as he slips his hand under my panties and runs a finger along my soaking wet slit.
“Shit,” I whisper.
“You’re dripping wet. I knew you wanted this, my Klara.”
“I can’t help it.”
“I know you can’t. Every time you’re around me, all you think about is having my body on yours, my mouth on yours, my fingers teasing your tight, slick pussy.”
I moan as his fingers do their incredible work. He spreads me wide then rolls a finger along my clit, sending waves and jolts of pleasure coursing all through me. I move my hips and throw my arms around his neck, pulling him down to me, moaning into his kiss as his fingers thrust deep into my pussy then back out to tease my clit again.
He pushes me down hard against the couch. I push back but he holds me there as his fingers fuck me. I gasp and he shoves one of my hands up above my head. He bites my chest, my lower lip, kisses me, uses my pussy with his fingers. I roll my hips again and moan before he pulls his hand out and rips my tank top off, throwing it onto the floor. My bra follows, then his mouth is on my breasts, sucking my nipples, licking my small, pink, perky nipples. He growls and pulls off my yoga pants, and I can’t stop this, couldn’t even if I wanted to.
But god, I don’t want to.
I moan as he drops down between my legs. He slides my panties off slowly, his eyes feasting on my body. He looks at my breasts and I push them together for him, tilting my head. He growls in appreciation, leaning down to kiss me, to lick a nipple. My panties join my yoga pants on the floor and then he’s down again, between my legs, mouth
licking my dripping pussy.
He spreads my legs wide and rough. I groan and grab his hair as his tongue sucks and licks my clit hard. His fingers slide inside of me and fuck me slow as he licks me over and over in maddening, incredible circles and patterns I can barely describe. It feels like heaven, like all the pleasure I’ve ever imagined is suddenly real, suddenly coursing through my veins.
His tongue drives me wild and I want more, so much more. I grab his hair hard and make him growl with pain. He moves up and kisses me rough, makes me taste my pussy on his lips and I lick it off like a greedy animal. He leans back and unbuttons his shirt while I lean forward and get his belt off.
I need him naked. I need him stripped bare just like me, right now, as soon as possible.
I tug his jeans off and he sits back. I drop down to the floor on my knees and pull his pants off, my heart racing, my body pulsing with need and pleasure and desire. He grabs my hair again and kisses me as I take off his boxer briefs and slowly stroke his massive shaft. He purrs his delight and I kiss down his bare chest, lingering on his amazing abs, before taking his cock in my mouth.
I suck him deep and hard and he growls. His hands are in my hair and I taste him as I suck him deeper, moving slow at first. I stroke him with my hands and can’t help letting out a low, happy moan of joy and delight when I take him deep again and again.
“I love the way you suck my cock,” he purrs. “I love your sexy little tongue rolling around my tip. I love your back, your gorgeous lips, your incredible hands, your perky breasts. God damn, Klara, I don’t know how I survived without you.”
I pull back and stroke him with a smile on my lips. “I don’t either. But I bet it was easier.”
He leans forward and kisses me. I take a sharp breath. “I don’t want easy then,” he whispers. He stands and grabs me, pulling me to my feet. He wraps his body around mine, both of us naked, his skin against my skin, and he kisses me slowly.
I linger in that kiss. I let the world drop away for a long moment. I let this be the only thing I care about, just his lips, just his mouth. I let out a soft moan as his hand slides between my legs, teasing me again, and I know what I need.