by Hamel, B. B.
I stare at her in total disbelief. The car honks again, and again I pull forward before slamming on the breaks.
“Mother,” I say. “You can’t just drop this on me. Are you okay? What’s going on?”
She sighs and rubs her eyes. “This is why I kept it to myself. You’re all so dramatic.”
“Mother,” I say, getting angry.
“Okay, fine. I found a small lump. I got it checked out. It was cancer. I found it early, and it wasn’t aggressive, but the doctor recommended a double mastectomy based on some genetic markers. I did the surgery, did a round of chemo, and now I’m all cancer-free.” She smiles at me and there’s a hint of sadness in her eyes.
“You don’t have to go through that alone.”
“What, and show weakness?”
“Yes,” I say. “You’re human. You’re mortal. What do you mean, show weakness?”
“I’m the head of this family, Jacob. I can’t just—”
“Shaun,” I grumble. She always mixes our names up when she gets upset.
She closes her eyes. “Shaun. I can’t just show weakness like a normal woman could. I deal with it on my own, and now I’m having reconstructive surgery to regain some of my womanhood.”
“Jesus,” I say, my voice quiet. “Mom, I’m so sorry.”
She’s quiet for a long moment as traffic starts to move again. I avoid being honked at this time, and when the car comes to a stop, she puts a hand on my shoulder. “I’m okay, darling,” she says, and squeezes. “Really. This is just so I can wear a dress again without feeling like a freak.”
I clench my jaw. I hate that my mother went through this, and in her own typical fashion. Of course she had breast cancer and of course she didn’t tell a soul. That’s Sylvia Lofthouse.
She’s a badass and a warrior. And god, sometimes, I hate her so much. I wish she’d let us be there for her.
“How big?” I ask.
“Excuse me?” Her hand drops away.
“I assume you have a choice of size,” I say. “How big you going? Huge? Plan on fulfilling all of Dad’s fantasies?”
She groans. “Don’t be disgusting, Shauny. I plan on putting myself back to the way I was before.”
“That’s a shame. I think you should go huge.”
“Idiot,” she says, and looks out the window with a smile on her lips. “I’m not talking about this with you anymore.”
I smile myself and keep driving.
17
Klara
I can’t remember the last time I was nervous to meet a boy’s mother.
Maybe never, come to think of it. I mean, I don’t think I’ve ever really done this formal sort of meeting before.
But Shaun warned me ahead of time. His mother is a very conservative woman. He wants me to be myself, but just… don’t curse, don’t wear anything revealing, don’t talk about inappropriate subjects like money or politics or religion.
I’m sure there’s a whole list of etiquette I should know, but he didn’t push that on me at least.
He sends a car for me the day after his mother gets into town. The car takes me over to his house and drops me off. I stand in the driveway for a long moment, gathering myself, before I walk to the front door and ring the bell.
Shaun answers wearing a simple white button-down shirt tucked into suit pants. “Come in,” he says. “You look good. I like that dress.”
“Thanks.” I look down at myself. I’m in a simple sundress, a little longer than I normally wear, higher neckline than usual, but still cute. “This was the only thing I could find.”
“You look good.” He kisses my cheek and I feel a strange tingle down my spine. “Come on. Let’s get this over with.”
I sigh. “You inspire so much confidence in me, you know that, right?”
“That’s what I’m here for.” He takes my hand and leads me forward. My heart’s beating so fast, I can barely breathe.
His mother is sitting in his kitchen at the table, a glass of wine in front of her. She’s an attractive woman in her sixties with short hair and bright eyes. She smiles, but ever so slightly, and stands. I can see some hints of Shaun in her, but she moves with a stiffness that seems like his total opposite.
“Mother, this is Klara,” he says. “Klara, this is Sylvia Lofthouse.”
“Charmed, dear,” she says, and shakes my offered hand. “My son here keeps saying nice things about you. I hope you can live up to my expectations.”
“I hope so too, Mrs. Lofthouse.”
She smiles. “Call me Sylvia.”
Shaun frowns and looks a little surprised but I nod once. “Okay, thank you, Sylvia.”
“Now, dear,” she says, taking me by the arm and leading me to the table. “Do you want to know how many women Shaun here has brought home over the years?”
“Mother,” he says.
“Aren’t you curious?” she asks.
“Of course,” I admit.
“None.” She sits back down and I sit beside her. She offers me wine, but I turn it down, which makes her smile. “Not a single woman in his entire life. You’re the first one I’ve met.”
“Really?” I ask. “That’s actually really surprising.”
“I learned not to bring women around my mother,” Shaun said.
“That, or you’re not capable of staying in a romantic relationship.” She smiles at me and I feel a strange tingle down my spine, like she’s weighing my reaction. “What do you think, dear?”
“Oh, I don’t know. He was a young man back then. I’m sure he’s settling down.”
“You think he’s settling down for you?”
“Mother,” Shaun says, getting annoyed. “This is inappropriate. Also annoying as hell.”
“Oh, sorry, dear. I’m just talking to you.” She smiles and tilts her head. “What do you do, Klara?”
“I help run a production company with my father,” I say.
“Ah, interesting. Which one?”
I glance at Shaun and he gives me the slightest of nods. “It’s called Truth Hurts Productions.”
She frowns. “Do I know that name?”
“I planned on buying it,” Shaun says.
“Ah.” Sylvia’s eyes go wide. “You’re the daughter.”
“That’s me.”
“And Aldo Funk is your father.”
“I’m Klara Funk.”
“Ah.” She picks up her wine and sips it.
“Mother,” Shaun says.
“What? I’m just trying to understand who my son is dating.”
“We’re not dating,” he says.
I glance at him. That’s something we’ll have to discuss later, apparently.
“Then why am I meeting this girl again?” she asks.
“Because… ah, shit, fine. We’re dating.”
“See, Klara. He resorts to his old tricks as soon as I’m in the picture. Can’t help himself.”
I smile. “That happens to all of us. We revert to our former childhood selves around our parents.”
“Must be hard for you then, working with your father.”
“Well,” I say, “he’s not much of a father.”
“So I hear.”
I shift uncomfortably as she studies me. Shaun stands up. “Okay,” he says. “This has been fun. But I think—”
“Klara, dear, how would you like to go shopping with me?”
My eyes go wide. This was supposed to be just a quick meeting, nothing more. Maybe we’d have lunch, but he said probably not.
Shopping wasn’t meant to be a part of this. I look at Shaun, but he’s no help. He looks like he’s panicking just as much as I am.
“Come on, dear,” Sylvia says. “It’ll be fun, just us girls. Did Shaun tell you I’m going in for surgery tomorrow?”
“He didn’t,” I say, blinking.
“Of course he wouldn’t.” She smiles at him. “Thank you for keeping that to yourself.”
He looks pained. “Of course.”
“
What are you having done?”
“Nothing major.” She stands. “Come, dear. Let’s go. Is your car still outside?”
“I told him to wait,” Shaun says. “Are you sure you want to go? Or maybe I can come with you. We all can—”
His mother gives him a look that could stop an onrushing train. “I’m going shopping with this lovely young lady, dear. Unless you aren’t serious about her, and you wish to keep her from me further.”
He clenches his jaw and looks at me. He looks me right in the eye when he speaks. “I’m very serious about her.”
His mother pats his cheek. “Good boy. Come along, Klara, dear.”
She walks ahead and out the door.
I stare at him and he stares back.
“Fuck,” he says.
“What do I do?”
“Whatever she says. Keep it light and simple. Don’t buy anything, don’t let her buy you anything. And, shit, be polite.”
“That’s all you’ve got? Be polite?”
He shakes his head. “I’m sorry. I didn't know she’d pull this.”
I bite my lip. “Is she okay? The surgery thing?”
He glances back at the door. “She’s okay. You should go.” He turns back and kisses me gently. “Good luck.”
I stare at him and shake my head. “I don’t know why I’m doing this.”
He grins. “Because you want me and can’t help yourself.”
“Yeah, or my pregnancy brain is kicking in and making me crazy already. Or maybe I suffered a concussion on my way inside. Or I’m asleep and this is all a dream.”
“Klara.”
“Okay. Right, yeah. See you later.” I head outside and get into the back of the car next to his mother.
She smiles at me as the car pulls out. “I assume he tried to talk you out of this?”
I shake my head. “Actually, no.”
“Really?” She looks surprised. “Huh.”
“Did you want him to?”
“Oh, no, dear. I really do want to spend some time with you if you’re as important to him as he says you are. I just…” She trails off.
“You can tell me,” I say. “If you want. I won’t repeat this back to Shaun.”
She frowns at me and sighs. “I must be in a strange mood.”
“What do you mean?”
She looks out the window. “I have a complicated relationship with my children,” she says. “It’s hard to explain, if I’m honest.”
“I’d love to hear about it. Considering traffic around here, we’ll be in this car together for a little while.”
She laughs but there’s no humor behind it. “Are you aware of our family?” she asks.
“I know about as much as he’s told me,” I say carefully.
“Then you understand the sort of family we are. The sort of… means we have at our disposal.”
“Yes, I believe I have a good idea about that.”
“You should understand, Klara. We aren’t a normal family by any means. If we were simply wealthy, things would be so much simpler. I could give my children money, let them do as they please, have a wonderful life, but…” She trails off.
“But what?”
“They can’t have any of that. Even if they want it, that can never be for them. I’ve been preparing my children their whole lives for the responsibility of keeping this family going and powerful, and as the years stretch on, the day when they’ll take over gets closer and closer.”
I sink into the silence for a long moment. “I can imagine how that would be hard,” I venture.
“Our family has never been close by design, dear. Over the years though, I’ve been reeling my children back in. They’ve been settling down, finding partners, starting families. They don’t all live in the manor, but they live close to it. Do you hear what I’m saying, dear?”
I nod. “I think so.”
“Good. So understand. I love my children very, very much. More than they’ll ever understand. And it’s precisely because of that love that I push them so hard and want them to settle down with partners equal to them.”
I nod once, looking forward. “And you don’t think I’m equal to Shaun.”
She sounds surprised. “No, dear. That’s not what I mean.”
I look back, frowning. “Really?”
She laughs. “You must not think much of me. Dear, your birth doesn’t matter to me. My first two sons didn’t marry rich aristocrats. My oldest daughter didn’t marry some landed lord. They married interesting, vibrant, strong partners that will make them happy and give them a family. That’s all I want for my children.”
I frown a little. “Then why is Shaun so worried about me meeting you?”
“For all of the above reasons. Like I said, I have a complicated relationship with them. With Shaun in particular. He rebelled young and he rebelled hard, but I want him to come back to the family.” She tilts her head toward me. “Is that something you’re going to do?”
“I don’t…” I trail off and look at her. “I don’t think so, Sylvia.”
She weighs that for a long moment. I can understand why Shaun was so worried about me meeting her. The woman is intense, there’s no getting around that. She doesn’t pull punches and she’s not shy about judging me.
But I get the feeling that she’s fair. She doesn’t judge people based on their money or material circumstances, but based on the people that they are. I feel like if I’m honest with her, then she’ll be honest with me.
I hope. Or maybe she’ll have me killed and thrown off a bridge.
“That’s disappointing to hear.”
“The truth is, I have a life out here. This production company… I want to own it and run it. And I think Shaun wants to be involved in that too, although I don’t know how yet. We’re still working things out.”
She smiles slightly. “Ah, I see. You misunderstood me. I don’t mean to make you move back to Virginia and live in the manor, although that is an option, of course.”
“What do you mean then?”
“Shaun does work for the family, but he’s always been distant. I want a relationship with my son again. I want him to call his brothers and come for visits. I can’t remember the last time he came to the manor for no reason other than to see his family.”
“Oh,” I say, and almost laugh. “Oh, of course. I want that too, Sylvia. I don’t think we’ll leave LA, I mean, we haven’t talked about any of this stuff, but—”
“And I want grandchildren.”
I lean back in my seat. “Oh,” I say.
“Does that surprise you? I’m not young. And I assume you and my son are serious.”
“I don’t… I think…”
She sighs. “You young people these days make things so much more complicated than you need to. If you like him, dear, then hold on to him. I can tell he’s mad for you. Gosh, you don’t even know how easy you have it.”
“I’m pregnant.”
The words come out before I can stop them. I can’t believe I said it and cover my mouth instantly. She turns to me, surprise clear on her face.
“You’re… what?”
“God, I’m sorry, nobody knows, just Shaun. He’s the father, and I didn’t mean to tell you, and—”
“That’s wonderful,” she says and smiles. “That’s just absolutely wonderful.”
I blink in surprise. “It is?”
“Oh, Klara. That’s incredible. I’m so happy to hear that.”
“You are?”
She laughs lightly and leans back in her seat, smiling huge. “Oh dear. Shaun must be going insane right now. He wants to marry you, right?”
“He does, but how did you know?”
“That’s just the kind of man he is.” She laughs and shakes her head. “Well, this all makes so much more sense now. He’s in love with you and you’re in love with him, but this baby is making it all so much more complicated than it needs to be.”
“No, it’s not… we’re not, I mean…”
>
I stop talking as she laughs and shakes her head. “God, you children these days. Always so complicated.” The car pulls up to Rodeo Drive and Sylvia gets out. I hurry to follow her as she walks down the sidewalk. This is the part of town I pretty much never come to. It’s always crowded and all the stores are insanely overpriced, but Sylvia seems to float through the people and slice through the crowds like she’s royalty. She walks into Balenciaga without so much as pausing and I have to hurry to keep up.
She goes right for a rack of women’s clothes. I don’t even bother looking at the price tags. She pulls out a simple suit jacket and tilts your head. “You’d look cute in this,” she says.
“Oh, I can’t,” I answer. “I mean, I can’t afford any of this.”
“He told you not to let me buy you anything, didn’t he?”
I hesitate. “Yes.”
“Consider it an early shower gift. How about that?”
“I’d rather take a crib then.”
She laughs. “I’ll get you one of those as well.” She holds up the jacket. “Try it on.”
“Really, Sylvia, please.”
“Oh, darling, and matching slacks.” She grabs a pair of pants and a pair of shoes. “Yes, you have to wear all of this. Please, dear.” She takes my arm and pulls me away as a sales associate floats over, looking richer and more beautiful than I will ever be in my life.
We’re given a private room. Sylvia sits back as I change, aware of her eyes on me the whole time. When I’m done, I stand in the mirror and stare are myself.
I have on over $5,000 in clothes. I’ve never, ever worn so much money in my entire life.
And I look amazing.
“Wow,” I say.
“I agree. The fit is perfect.”
“I look great.”
She laughs. “You do, dear.”
“But really, it’s too much.”
“Nonsense, dear. You want to run a business, you need an outfit like that. One that exudes power and grade.” She sighs. “A shame women need clothing and men can get away with so little, but it’s the world we live in.”
I sigh and look at myself for a moment longer. My future flashes through my eyes, and I can see more money, more wealth, more fame than I ever dreamed of.
And it scares me.
Sylvia comes up and puts her hands on my shoulders. “Go ahead,” she says. “Buy it. I promise, you won’t regret it.”