by K E O'Connor
I traced my fingers through the gritty substance and it made my skin sting.
I had to get up. The others could be injured. They could be dead. I’d been out of it for such a long time, anything could have happened.
I sucked in a steadying breath, only just managing not to gag as I got another whiff of the stench in the room. I rolled onto my side, and then onto my hands and knees, feeling like I’d gone ten rounds with a prize fighter. Sweat dripped off me.
It felt like I’d been thrown into the depths of hell. If I didn’t recognize Luna’s apartment, I’d think that was exactly where I’d been taken.
A shuffling noise hit my ears, and I tensed. Was it the ghost returning to finish me off? I let out a gurgle of relief as Hilda appeared from under a pile of soot.
A lump lodged in my throat. She was missing two legs. “Hilda!” I gasped out. “What happened?”
She hobbled over, before collapsing on top of my hand and wheezing out a breath. “The ghost attacked us all. I’ve never felt anything like it.”
“Where are the others?”
“Russell was tossed out the window. I didn’t see what happened to Nugget. He fought so hard. He was still fighting when you lost consciousness.”
I struggled up onto my knees, and the world tipped. I blinked slowly several times to dislodge the wave of dizziness, but it only helped a fraction. I crawled to the window ledge and hauled myself up.
The lump in my throat grew bigger as I saw Russell on the ground. One wing was bent at a horribly unnatural angle.
Hilda crawled up to join me and leaned against my cheek. “I’ll go down and see to him. You look around for Nugget.”
“Are you sure you’re up to it? You must be in pain.”
“I can still get around if I’m careful. I’ll use my webbing to get me to the ground floor.”
“What happened to the ghost?” I glanced around to see the tiger opals had shattered and the ghost jar was in pieces.
“He disappeared after the attack. I’m sure he’ll be back, so we don’t have much time.” Hilda crawled away and abseiled down the side of the building.
There was no way I was waiting around here for the ghost to come back. My head throbbed, my magic was drained, and my familiars were hurt. I gathered what was left of my strength and stood on wobbly knees.
“Nugget, are you in here?” I hunted around the room, sliding my hand through piles of stinging soot to see if he’d been buried beneath one, but he wasn’t in the living room.
I checked the bathroom and then the bedroom. There was still no sign of Nugget, and the apartment was getting hotter by the second.
I staggered into the kitchen and froze. Nugget was flat out on one of the worktops. He wasn’t moving. I raced over and rested my hand on his chest. There were no signs of life. I flipped him over and pressed my hand against his chest, conjuring the strongest healing spell I knew.
I yelped as I was blasted back and slammed into the wall, collapsing into a heap on the floor. The skin on my palm was burned from using the spell.
A sob of despair threatened to come out, but I pressed my lips together. I had to fix this. I wouldn’t accept I’d lost my familiar.
I pulled myself up, using the wall to balance, and wobbled back to Nugget. “Wake up! You can’t be dead. You’ve lived for over forty years. Don’t let this mission kill you.” I pressed my hand on his chest and tried the healing spell again. This time, a trickle of ineffective magic came out. It danced over his skin for a few seconds, before fading. It was pathetic. I was pathetic. My magic was broken.
I tried different healing spells, and they all misfired. I couldn’t do magic any more. Whatever that ghost had done to me, I was too damaged to be repaired.
I dropped my head onto Nugget’s still stomach as tears dripped down my cheeks and landed in his fur. This place was no haven for witches. Ever since I’d come back, there’d been trouble. I should never have come home. My familiars were injured or dead, Luna’s life was at risk because I couldn’t contain the spirit attacking her, and when word got back to the Magic Council that I was on the loose and using illegal magic, they’d grab me and turn me into a shadow.
I should have stayed where I was. I was better off alone. And everyone else was safer if I stayed out of their way.
I didn’t want to give up on Nugget. There was no way I’d have his death on my conscience. I swiped the tears from my cheeks and placed both hands flat on his stomach. He would wake up. I ignored the throbbing pain from my own injuries and pushed everything I had into healing him.
For a few seconds, magic ran through me and pulsed into Nugget, but the healing spell wouldn’t stay contained. It scattered off my skin, around the worktop, and then slammed into the ceiling, sending plaster raining down on us.
I covered Nugget so he wouldn’t be injured and waited for the magic to fade.
Nothing I could do would bring him back. I was only hurting myself and messing up this apartment by trying.
“I’m so sorry, Nugget. I never meant for this to happen.” I tickled him between the ears in the spot he liked. Of course, he didn’t respond.
I stepped back and took in the chaos. Luna’s apartment was almost destroyed, with holes in the walls and mold covering the ceiling. And from the growing feeling of malevolence, the ghost was coming back, most likely to finish what he started.
What should I do? It was best for everyone if I walked away from this. If I did, I’d be leaving behind a huge mess I’d caused. But if I stayed, I had no idea how to fix things. I’d tried to capture this ghost and failed. I’d injured my familiar, and I’d have plenty to answer for when the Magic Council finally caught up with me. And they would. I was living on borrowed time.
I grabbed a tea towel and placed it over Nugget. Then headed back to the window Hilda had climbed out of and looked out, relieved to see Russell was upright and holding one wing out as Hilda talked to him.
I gathered up the remains of the magic equipment I’d brought with me and went back to the kitchen. I carefully picked up Nugget and tucked him inside the bag. With a last look around the destroyed apartment, I walked away and shut the door.
I stumbled down the stairs, out the main doors, and over to Hilda and Russell.
I knelt in front of him. “How are you doing? It looks like a wing got broken.”
He made a sad sounding squawk.
“It is broken.” Hilda perched herself on my hand.
“I’d offer to heal you both, but my healing magic doesn’t seem to be working. I tried several spells in the apartment and they backfired.” I showed them my singed palm.
“We can heal ourselves, providing we get back to the house,” Hilda said. “Who were you trying to heal?”
I rested a hand against Nugget. I couldn’t tell them he was gone. They were a team, and I’d just lost their friend. “I hurt my ankle and was trying to heal myself.”
“Come back to the house. There are healing tonics there. Have a few of those and you’ll feel better,” Hilda said.
I shook my head. I couldn’t be around them any longer. I’d caused too much damage. “You two go ahead. I’ll stay here with Nugget and make sure everything is okay.”
“Do you think the ghost is still inside?” Hilda said. “We can stay and help if you think he’ll cause more problems.”
“He’s definitely lurking, but seems satisfied with the destruction he’s caused for now.”
“It’s no wonder Luna feels so terrible, with this being attached to her,” Hilda said. “He’s filled with darkness. We’ll find a way to defeat him. He just got the better of us this time.”
I nodded, not wanting to reveal my true fears about this ghost. There was no way I could defeat him. I wasn’t a strong enough witch. “You both go back to the house and get yourselves fixed up.”
“Are you sure you don’t want us to stay?” Hilda said. “We can keep an eye out to see if the ghost comes back.”
“You go. I won’t be long
.” With a heavy heart, I watched Hilda and Russell leave. Hilda had a strange tilting walk because of her lost limbs, and Russell held out his damaged wing, making him lean to the right as he hobbled along.
I made the short walk to the cemetery at the edge of Witch Haven. I lifted Nugget out of my bag and held him close.
“Let’s find somewhere nice for you to go.” There was a specific part of the cemetery set aside for familiars. Nearly every witch had a familiar, and cherished them like they were her children, and they were always given a respectful send-off.
I couldn’t offer that to Nugget, but I could find him a decent final resting place.
“This tree looks good. It’s shady, so you won’t get too hot. And most of these nearby graves are also cat familiars. You may make new friends.” I choked on my words.
I set Nugget down and hunted out the equipment store. I broke the lock, found a large shovel, and returned to the tree, where I dug a deep hole nearby. The ground was easy going because it was soft, and I soon had a space big enough for Nugget.
I took off my jacket, put him in it, and placed him in the hole. “I let you down. You were a great familiar. You taught me so much when I was growing up. It shouldn’t have ended this way.” I kissed him on the head, tucked my jacket around him carefully so he was snug, and covered him over with the soft, damp earth.
I made a makeshift headstone from a pile of small stones, so I wouldn’t forget the location of his grave. I’d figure out a permanent headstone for him as soon as I could.
And once I was brave enough to let Hilda and Russell know what happened to Nugget, I’d ask them to sort it out. They’d know what kind of thing he’d like.
I returned the shovel to the equipment store and then wiped mud off my hands.
This was a darkly fitting way to end my visit to Witch Haven. The last time I’d been here, people had died, and now it had happened all over again. It was the proof I needed that returning was a wrong move.
I closed my eyes as I stood over Nugget’s grave and said a silent farewell.
It was time to go and never return.
Chapter 18
I rolled over and stared at the beige wall. It had been this color when I’d moved into my tiny apartment in York Town. I kept thinking I’d spruce the place up, make it homelier, but I could never gather the enthusiasm to make any changes.
I closed my eyes and tried to force myself back to sleep, but the opportunity to escape from my grim reality with more slumber had passed.
It had been five days since I’d walked out of Witch Haven. Five days since the ghost had beaten me and Nugget had died.
I dreamt about him every night. I’d wake up and think my visit home had been a dream, or Nugget was still alive and would be sitting on the end of the bed being rude to me and telling me where I could pet him.
But he was gone. I hadn’t saved him. And I’d failed to save Luna. I’d even been too much of a coward to tell anyone I was going. I’d just walked away.
It didn’t matter, not anymore. Life was back to normal. I should never have thought I could have familiars, make new friends, and resurrect old friendships. When I’d gotten the demands from the Magic Council, I should have ignored them. If I had, no one would have been hurt or died.
After another fifteen minutes of convincing myself, I should stay in bed, my stomach grumbled. I rolled out of my messy sheets, stuffed my feet into my slippers, and wandered into the tiny kitchenette. There were only three rooms in this apartment. The bedroom, the open plan living room and kitchen, and the bathroom. It had everything I needed, plus it was cheap, and on an estate where everyone minded their business. I could come and go as I pleased, and no one asked me what I was doing, or who I was. I didn’t even know my neighbor’s names.
Was it safe to come back here? Most likely not. Every day, I expected someone from the Magic Council to barge in and arrest me. But no one showed up. Maybe they were grateful I’d left Witch Haven. If I was out of their way, I couldn’t do the place any more harm.
I made an instant coffee and stood by the window, looking out at the next apartment block’s gray wall as I sipped it.
This life would do. I should have known better than to go back to my past. I should have ignored Luna’s requests for assistance with that ghost. Now, I was free from all that. I could try something new.
I looked around the apartment again. I would repaint these walls. It would give me something to do and take my mind off the mess I’d left behind. Or I could travel. I could go somewhere where no one knew me and they had no idea about my past. There were places magic users lived because they didn’t like using their abilities. They preferred to blend in with everyone else and pretend they were normal. I could do that. And since my magic was misfiring, there was no point in using it.
My hand was still painful from my healing spells backfiring when I’d failed to save Nugget.
I was so broken as a witch that I shouldn’t even bother trying to be one. I could go visit one of these communes where magic wasn’t used. I’d fit in there. It could work.
I sighed and sipped more of my bitter coffee. I hadn’t heard a single sound since I’d gotten up. This place was gravely quiet. People tended to go out late at night, coming back at dawn. I didn’t dwell on what they were doing during those dark hours. Maybe they just worked the night shift. Maybe not.
I used to like the quiet. It meant there was little chance of being bothered. But after spending time with Russell, Hilda, and Nugget, the silence felt like it was pressing in on me.
I shook my head. I’d been in Witch Haven for less than a week. Nothing was different about my life. It couldn’t have changed me in that short amount of time. All I’d done was go in, cause chaos, and then leave.
I rested my head against the smeared window.
Things had changed. I wanted my familiars back. They felt like they were mine and I was responsible for them.
Not only that, I’d killed one of them. Nugget had only been in Luna’s apartment because of my crazy plan to save her and be the hero. It was a vanity thing. I was saving Luna because it was a massage to my damaged reputation. I’d hoped that stepping up and being the good witch would give the Magic Council pause before they stripped me of my power. I was a terrible best friend. I was a fraud.
And this was what happened. One familiar dead, two injured, my best friend dying, and the Magic Council intent on destroying my ability.
But there was no place for me in Witch Haven. This was what I’d chosen. I liked the quiet, simple life, with no commitments. It made everything easier.
I finished my coffee and made another. I had no food in the cupboard, but couldn’t be bothered to go out and re-stock. Coffee would do. Maybe I’d order a takeout later. That would be fun.
I looked around the room. I could go get paint samples. Maybe paint this place purple. That would add some vibrancy to its soulless atmosphere.
I grimaced and wiped a cobweb out of the corner of the window. When had my life gotten so dull? If takeout and painting walls were the highlight of my existence, was there even much point in carrying on? Everything I touched got tainted, and that wasn’t fair to the people who got messed with.
I settled into the faded armchair by the window and pulled out Magda’s journal. I’d been reading a couple of pages every day since I’d come back. I could never get very far into it, because reading her notes and ideas about magic made me angry and want to thump something. We’d had a great life, and she’d stuffed it up.
Ash witches had once been respected and kicked serious butt when it came to evildoers. We were known for upholding magic rules. Even the Magic Council had respected the Ash witch coven and often come to my ancestors for guidance.
“What went wrong?” I whispered. I turned a page and discovered a dried piece of lavender.
I pulled it out and smelled it as I continued to flick through the pages, slowing when the writing became erratic.
My stomach tightened and horr
or trickled through my veins like acid. The spells written on the pages grew darker, and alongside them, the unstable thoughts of my stepmom were clear.
She detailed feeling paranoid and unsafe and needing to find strong magic to protect herself. I had no idea what she needed to be protected from.
There were several pages that had been raked through hard with a pen, no words, just scrawling ink, suggesting anger and rage had been poured onto the pages.
I flicked through until I discovered several blank pages. I continued flicking, and then the writing began again.
Turning back to the blank pages, I pressed my hand against one. My heart skipped a beat. There was magic on this page.
I set my coffee down and cracked my fingers. My magic still wasn’t functioning properly, and if I tried a spell on this book, I could set it on fire. But there was something hidden on this page, and I wanted to know what it was.
“Okay, let’s see what you’re hiding.” I had nothing left to lose. If I set fire to the book, it would be more evidence that magic was no longer for me.
I evoked a reveal spell on the page and held my breath.
At first, nothing happened. The magic trickled out of my hand in a slow, painful wave. Magic shouldn’t feel like that. The energy felt forced and fractured.
My breath hitched as faint marks appeared on the page. There was something there. Since the book hadn’t exploded into a fireball, I risked using the reveal spell again.
This time, words appeared.
My gut tightened, and my eyes widened as I read the first line.
Indigo, if you’re reading this, then I’m dead...
I swallowed and licked my lips. Magda had hidden these words for me to find.
The surprise at discovering this hidden message had tears springing to my eyes. I blinked them away. I had to know more.
It’s too late for me. What’s been set in motion can’t be stopped. I wish with every bone in my body that I could have prevented this tragedy. But I had to protect you. My world revolved around you, and when your life was threatened, I had to act.