by Renee, Holly
“Apparently not.”
He stared down at me for several seconds. It wasn’t a look that I liked. It was as if he had never truly seen me before, but I guess it was fitting considering I had never expected to see this side of him either.
He didn’t say another word. He just turned his back to me and walked out. The sound of the slamming door echoing throughout the empty room.
…
The sound of my alarm going off sliced through my head as if it was actually assaulting me. I could barely open my eyes even though my room had very little light shining into it. I managed to hit my phone enough to make the noise stop before I ran to my bathroom to empty the contents of my stomach.
Memories of the day before ran through my head, and I prayed that it was all a nightmare. Every last bit of it. But I knew it wasn’t. The pain was too real. Too raw. I felt it everywhere.
Brooke walked into my bathroom as I wiped my mouth with a piece of toilet paper.
“How are you feeling?”
“Please don’t yell at me.” I laid my head against the toilet.
“How are you feeling?” she whispered while leaning against the bathroom wall.
“Like shit.”
“You should after last night.”
I flopped onto the bathroom floor and let the coolness of the tile seep into my skin.
“I barely remember last night.”
“Do you remember destroying Tucker?” She crossed her arms over her chest.
“You’re taking his side?” I peeked up at her.
“I’m not taking anyone’s side. What I am saying is that he looked fucking destroyed last night. He didn’t look like someone who was cheating on you just a few hours before.”
I thought about what she just said, but it didn’t make any sense. I knew what I saw. I wasn’t crazy.
“But you saw him.” I sat back up and grabbed my stomach when I felt like I was going to lose its contents again.
“I know, but maybe there is an explanation. Maybe we didn’t see what we thought we saw.”
“My life isn’t a romance movie, Brooke. I’m the girl who gets cheated on and ends up alone surrounded by her books and cats. I’m not the one who ends up with happily ever after.”
“I don’t believe that.” She shook her head.
“Well, you should start believing it. The sooner we figure it out the less likely we are to get hurt.”
“Maybe you should just talk to him,” she said softly, knowing I wouldn’t like her idea.
“I have to get ready for work.”
She turned her back and walked out of my bathroom with a shake of her head. I could feel her disappointment radiating off her, but it didn’t change anything. I didn’t want to see Tucker. I had trusted him, completely, and the only thing that got me was heartbreak.
24
The Owners
I got myself together the best that I could and prayed that no one noticed that I had been puking and crying all morning. I filled my lungs with fresh air before I walked into Rock Bottom and some of my nervousness left me because I knew I would have my camera in my hand soon.
Chloe was standing just inside the restaurant when I walked inside, and she smiled at me before walking over.
“What’s up, buttercup?”
She was far too peppy. At least for a hungover Kennedy to deal with.
“Hey, Chloe.” I looked around the room at the group of fifteen to twenty people all dressed similarly in black uniforms. “Where do you want me to start?”
“Are you okay?” She tilted her head to the side and studied me.
“I’m fine. Why?” I could fake it. I knew I could.
“You don’t look like yourself. You kind of look like someone stole your puppy. A puppy that you’ve been wanting for a really long time.”
I took a deep breath and tried my hardest to hold myself together.
“I’m okay. I didn’t have the best night last night.”
“Well, we’re going to have a great day. I promise.”
I hoped she was right because I didn’t think that I could handle anymore today.
Chloe introduced me to the staff, which consisted of chefs, kitchen staff, servers, bartenders, and hostesses. I said my hellos then I began shooting.
We moved around the restaurant taking photos in the dining area and in the kitchen. I took photos of the staff grouped together. Photos of them pretending to work. By the time an hour rolled around, I felt lighter.
When it was time for me to shoot Chloe, I was in a much better mood, and she had me laughing when I looked through the lens at her cross-eyed face.
“I will take these photos and use them. You won’t get any good ones.” I laughed.
“You are no fun.” She put her hands on her slender hips then posed like she had a former career in modeling.
“Oh. The owners are here.” She waved behind me, and I pulled my face away from my camera and straightened out my shirt.
I turned toward them with my professional face on, and it lasted all of two seconds. My whole world came to a screeching halt.
I looked around the room searching for something. I had no idea what I was looking for. Maybe someone to jump out and tell me that I was on a hidden camera show. That this was all a joke.
Tucker was staring at me, but he wasn’t seeing me. His stare was blank. He didn’t care anymore.
“You own this place?” I asked incredulously.
None of this made sense.
“With Liam,” he said nonchalantly as Liam poked his head around Tucker’s shoulder.
“Hey, Kennedy.”
I looked to Liam, but I wasn’t interested in talking to him. There was only one man I wanted answers from.
“How could you lie to me about this? You said you only worked here.” I stepped toward him, and Chloe looked back and forth between us.
“That’s rich. Coming from you.” He flicked his hand out in my direction. “What was it you told me? We’re nothing but a couple of fuck buddies.”
Chloe gasped, and I knew how unprofessional this was. It didn’t matter anyway. I didn’t get this job due to my talent.
“Oh, please act like I mean something more to you. I saw you with that woman yesterday.” He looked a little shocked and it only fueled me further. “What? You didn’t think I knew? So, I’m the bad guy because I got caught? It doesn’t matter what you do behind my back?”
“What are you talking about?” He was searching my face.
“Stop lying to me!” I was becoming hysterical. “I saw you with her outside our building. I needed you, Tucker. I fucking needed you. My family crushed me, and there you stood holding another woman in your arms. Do you know how bad you hurt me?” My voice cracked, and I hated it. I hated showing him how weak he had made me.
He took a step toward me, and I held out my hand to stop him.
“Don’t.”
“I’ll kill them.”
“Don’t worry about me. Go worry about whoever else you’ve been sleeping with.”
“You mean her?” He pointed to the corner of the room, and my eyes clashed with the woman’s who I had seen him with just the day before. I physically jolted back at seeing her here, and my breath caught in my throat.
“That’s my sister, Kennedy.”
I looked from the girl to him and back. “What?”
“She’s my sister. I wasn’t cheating on you.”
I took a deep breath, and I felt like my world was collapsing around me. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know what to say.
“You should have let me go to that dinner with you. Why didn’t you call me?”
“I wasn’t thinking, Tucker. I was just trying to get to you.”
“I tried calling you. Why did you bring that asshole home with you? What were you thinking?” He ran his hand down his face, his frustration clear.
“I was trying to forget you. To hurt you back.” My voice sounded as fragile as I felt.
He
looked at me, and I could see the fury and the pain written all over his face. I wanted nothing more than to take it all away.
“Why don’t you take a minute to compose yourself then we’ll finish the shoot.”
I searched his face looking for more. This couldn’t be the end of us. He couldn’t just dismiss me so easily. But he didn’t give me the opportunity to look for long because he turned on his heel and stormed away from me and back into hiding behind the door to the back of the restaurant.
Everyone was looking at me. Wide eyes and even wider open jaws. Nobody knew what to say or what to do, and I didn’t blame them.
“Kennedy.”
I looked up at Liam except he looked blurry. Clouded by my tears.
“Yeah?”
“Why don’t you let Chloe take you to the bathroom? Give yourself a few minutes.” His voice was soft. Much softer than Tucker’s was a few minutes ago.
I nodded my head, but didn’t move. I had no clue what I was doing. The only thing I could think about was the look on Tucker’s face, and it kept flashing over and over in my mind.
I felt a hand on my arm, and I looked to my left expecting Chloe. But I was dead wrong. The girl standing next to me was the last person I expected. The girl I hated only moments ago.
“Come on, sweets.” She put her hand in mine. “Let’s go to the bathroom.”
I let her pull me behind her. When we stepped into the bathroom, I stared at her. Really took her in for the first time, and I felt like a complete idiot. I had seen pictures of her in her parents’ house. I had no idea how I didn’t realize it before.
She ran a paper towel under the sink before pressing the cold towel under my eyes. Wiping away the tears that I hadn’t even noticed falling down my cheeks.
“I’m Sophie, by the way.” She continued to run the cold cloth over my face. Washing away the traces of my pain.
I nodded my head, but I couldn’t form words yet. I was too scared that I would break down crying.
She tucked a piece of hair behind my ear and looked over my face. “So, you’re in love with my brother, huh?”
Laughter bubbled out of me suddenly, and I couldn’t help it. I had just met this girl, accused her of sleeping with her brother, and now we were talking about me being in love with him. Apparently, she could read me much better than her brother. She smiled at my laughter and cocked her head to the side.
She was so damn nice, and I had been looking forward to meeting her. And now I’d ruined it. Her brother hated me. The man I loved wanted nothing to do with me.
My laughter caught in my throat and quickly changed over to a sob. The change was so sudden, and I could see the worry all over her face. She didn’t even know me, and here I was, completely losing my shit in front of her.
She pulled me into her arms and buried my face in her chest as I fell apart. I don’t know how much time passed. All I know is that she continued to hold me until I could finally breathe again.
When I pulled my head away from her, she wiped her fingers under my eyes and looked at me with so much sympathy that it caused my chest to hurt even more.
“If you don’t want to finish this shoot today, I can tell my brother to fuck off.”
I laughed a strangled, deep laugh and shook my head.
“No. I need to finish it. This is my career.”
“Okay. Well in that case,” she pulled a small makeup bag out of her purse, “let’s get you cleaned up.”
25
Professional
Most of the staff was gone when we walked back out into the dining room, and for that, I was thankful. Tucker narrowed his eyes on his sister’s arm that was wrapped in mine as we made our way to where he, Liam, and Chloe were standing, but I looked away from him.
I had to get through this and looking at him was the quickest way for me to fail.
“Okay. So where do you want to start?” I asked, my voice much more gravelly than normal.
Nobody said anything at first so I looked over at Tucker to see him watching me. His expression blank.
Liam cleared his throat, and I turned my attention to him.
“I think we’d like some pictures by the bar then we’ll do whatever you suggest.”
I nodded my head and got all my camera equipment ready.
When I pressed my camera to my face, I stared at Tucker and Liam through the lens. It was safer this way. Less vulnerable. My camera was my safety net.
I took their pictures. Liam smiling while Tucker looked like he could kill someone at any moment. I could barely even see Liam though. I was taking advantage of my excuse to take in Tucker. I didn’t know if I would have this opportunity again.
“Chloe, do you want to get in the picture,” I called out from behind my lens. I needed a distraction if I wanted these pictures to turn out at least decent. “You should sit on the bar between them.”
Chloe did as I suggested and I continued to shoot. We made our way around the restaurant. Tucker seemed to relax some after a while, and I finally managed to get some images where he didn’t look like an asshole. Because he wasn’t. He didn’t need to be portrayed that way. Even if I was hurt by him. Even if we managed to hurt each other.
When we finally wrapped up, I immediately began packing up my equipment. I looked up when Chloe walked up beside me, and when I saw her smiling face, it filled me with disappointment that it wasn’t Tucker.
“Hey.” I zipped up my camera bag.
“Do you want to stay and have a celebratory drink with us?” she asked hesitantly.
“No. I don’t think so.” I looked over at Tucker who was staring directly at me. “It’s been a long day. I’m going to head home and work on these images.”
“You sure?” She cocked her head to the side.
“Yeah. Hopefully, I’ll have all these images to you in a couple days.”
“Okay. That sounds good.”
“I’ll talk to you later?” I lifted my bag onto my shoulder.
“Of course.”
I walked all the way home. The weather was starting to turn cooler, and I wrapped my arms around myself to keep the chill away.
So many things ran through my mind as I mindlessly took each step toward my apartment. My apartment that was right next door to Tucker’s. Would he bring women home with him again? I couldn’t bear the thought of hearing him in his room with another woman. The thought was like a sucker punch to my stomach.
How did we get here? Why did I jump to conclusions? Why did I bring that guy home with me? Why did he lie to me?
That last question had been lying dormant in my mind, but now that I thought about it, the more pissed off I became. What was his plan all along? Was I just a damn game to him? Was nothing between us real?
By the time I made it back to my apartment, I was filled with sadness, anxiety, and fury. As soon as one emotion would take the lead, another thought would pop into my head, and the game would change again.
Exhaustion was the strongest at that moment, and I wanted nothing more than to dive face first into my bed and not come out for a week.
I opened my front door and sighed in relief when I didn’t see Brooke. I knew she would question about how today went, and I wasn’t ready to talk about it. Not yet. Not after everything that happened.
I sat down at my desk and entered my memory card into my computer. The images downloaded one after another. Picture after picture of Tucker’s face flashed across my screen, and once again, misery took the lead.
I felt pathetic as I clung onto every image of him. I took in his beautiful brown eyes that were burning holes into my camera. His lips that were usually upturned and playful were the complete opposite. He looked dark and desolate. He looked damn handsome, but it wasn’t him. And I was the one to do this to him. I was the one to hurt him.
Fuck. I really hurt him.
I had no idea how to fix it. I wasn’t even sure if I could, but I knew for certain that I couldn’t fix it today. We both needed time to cool off
. We both needed time to think. And if I was lucky, Tucker would realize how badly I needed him, and hopefully, he would need me too.
26
The First Glance
It had been exactly one week since I laid eyes on Tucker. Seven long, torturous days. Seven days where I felt the loneliest I had ever felt. I’d thought about going to his apartment every day, but each time I managed to talk myself out of it.
I was still mad at him for lying to me about Rock Bottom, I was so ashamed of myself for the way I had treated him, and I was scared to death that he wasn’t going to want me anymore. That was my biggest fear of all.
My need to see him was consuming me, but I was even more consumed by my fear of his rejection. It terrified me. I couldn’t handle it.
Brooke had encouraged me to go to him. She was mad about his lie to me as well, but she was more disappointed in me. Understandably so. Hell, I was disappointed in myself. How could she not be?
I hadn’t heard him either. I lay in bed at night, perfectly still, praying that I heard him. Just something to give me the tiniest piece of him. Something to let me know he was okay. But I also laid in fear; fear that I would hear another woman. Fear that I would hear him moving on.
Three loud raps at the door pulled my attention away from my Kindle. I looked down at myself and cringed. I was wearing my Gryffindor pajama bottoms with a white tank top, and I was pretty sure that I had been wearing them for three days straight. There was a stain on the front of my shirt, and I wasn’t even sure where it came from. My hair was in a knot on top of my head, and I was a little bit scared to look in the mirror. I knew that I looked like a hot mess.
I cautiously pulled the door open and peeked into the hallway. My breath rushed out of me when I saw Tucker standing there. He looked handsome as ever in a black suit with a white dress shirt. He wore no tie and the top couple buttons were undone making him look impossibly sexy.