by DoctorHepa
Cave Mudge Bonker. Level 19.
In the hierarchy of Cave Mudge society, the Bonker is about as high on the list as a commoner can get. These odd, war-like creatures are said to have once been a star-faring nation, but something happened to cause them to regress back to the stone age. Probably too much reality TV. Don’t let those skinny legs fool you. When these guys get to bonkin’, they can be pretty darn quick.
There were four of them in this car. All up and down the long platform, I could see a few more scattered about the cars, their small eyes glaring at us from the windows. I caught sight of another monster, too. These were human-sized, red-maned snake creatures, like nagas with the heads of lions. They were too far away to get a description.
Donut hit the Cave Mudge standing in the open door with a pair of magic missiles, and it fell over dead just as the doors started to slide closed.
“Hey,” I said as the train rolled away. “I can’t believe that actually worked. We can get them, but they can’t get us.”
“Let’s wait for the next train and shoot some more!” Donut said.
“Guys,” Katia said as we waited for the next train. “I just told Hekla about this, and she said she and the others have been doing this all morning, racking up a lot of experience. She thinks it’s a bug. You can also pull them from the doorways onto the platform and that kills them.”
“Hmm,” I said, thinking. “I think she’s wrong. I don’t think it is a bug. It’s more of a time trap, designed to get you to sit tight and snipe all day. If these were stronger monsters, I’d say we should definitely spend the day doing this. But there’s only so many we can get in the few moments while the door is open. Experience wise, we’re better off jumping onto the train and killing them.”
Katia shrugged. “Hekla also says that the monsters all get off every five floors. If you follow them out, the levels are like a cave system, and there are tunnels. She hasn’t yet explored, but she thinks the tunnels might lead back to the previous four platforms. She thinks the monsters are constantly migrating in a circle.”
That was kind of weird. “Tell her we’ll check it out. Also, tell her about the map Mordecai is building. Have her collect all the route info she can from all of her contacts and report it back to you so you can pass it on. I hope to have a better idea of this place by this time tomorrow.”
* * *
We spent the next hour or so camping out on the platform and committing mass murder on the incoming mobs. The trains came every eight to ten minutes. It was always the same two types of monsters. The Bonkers, as we started calling them, and the Shock Chompers, which were described as “lesser nagas with mommy issues.” These things were all level 20. The snake-like creatures had an electrical attack, but it took them a bit to get revved up, and if you smacked them, it canceled out their attack. Not that it mattered since they couldn’t physically or magically reach us while we stood on the platform. All four of us would stand on a different section of the landing as the train pulled up. I’d punch. Mongo would chomp. Katia would practice with her axe, and Donut alternated between Magic Missile and practicing with her claws, which was something she needed much more experience with. The monsters were unable to fight back. But like I suspected, the experience was slow coming. Plus we were robbed of the ability to loot the corpses unless we pulled them onto the platform. But if we did that, we didn’t get any experience. Still, we tried it a few times with each type of monster. The chompers dropped sharp fangs and about 10 gold each. The Bonkers dropped their clubs and a couple of coins. One dropped his own liver, which was listed as an alchemical supply. I took it and added it to the inventory. None of this stuff appeared to be valuable.
Eventually we decided to finally get off our asses and hop onto the train. I wanted to check out the engine, so we moved all the way to the end of the platform. I knew normally, with subway cars at least, if there was a driver at all, they were usually set up in a little cubicle at the front of the lead car. But in these trains, the entire first car was a solid, closed-off hunk of metal. It didn’t even stop at the platform. It pulled slightly ahead, leaving car #2 at the far end of the station. So we set up by the wall, just outside of where train car number two would stop.
Each train car held four sets of exterior doors on each side. We set up outside the two doors closest to the engine car. The next train squealed to a halt. This furthermost car only held two of the Shock Chompers, and the moment the door opened, both Donut and I took them out. Donut used a Magic Missile, and I reached into the car and punched the maned snake right in the face with two quick jabs, which killed it. We stepped into the car just as the doors slid closed, and we were on our way.
I looked about the yellow line train car. This car was almost the same as the red line car, but the first thing I noticed was that the graffiti was in English, not Russian. The seats faced inward, the same as the Russian train, but the cushions were blue, not brown. Also, the pattern of poles was different and the aisles weren’t as wide. The doors at the fore and aft of the train were the same, and the car itself seemed about the same length.
Donut and Katia spent a moment examining the forward doorway leading toward car number one.
“It says we need a Yellow Line Engineer’s Key to open the next door,” Katia said a moment later. “How do you think we can get one of those?”
“We need to get the driver to come out somehow, I guess,” I said. “Then we gotta take it from him. Either that or maybe we can figure out how to break into the car from the outside.”
Just as I moved to loot the corpse of the Shock Chomper, the far doorway to train number three slid open on its own.
“Ahh, shit,” I said, backing up. A group of five Bonkers rushed at us, clubs upraised. They howled.
I was hoping these guys didn’t know how to work the doors.
“Formation one, guys.”
This was something we talked about and practiced as we were getting ready earlier. This was more of a stance than an actual move. We backed up so we were parallel with the exterior doors. I had to step over the body of the Chomper. Donut leaped to my shoulder as Mongo jumped up into the space between the chairs, his back to the door to the outside. He set up on the starboard—the right—side of the car, which was actually to my left since we were facing the back of the train. The doorway was sandwiched by a grid of metal poles, which would protect Mongo. Katia moved to the opposite side, also jumping into the small vestibule in front of the exit. I remained in the middle, but I took a step back, creating a V-shaped kill zone.
This created a unified front while forcing the mobs into a funnel. They’d only be able to get to us either one or two at a time, while making themselves vulnerable from all of us. The poles and handholds were always going to be a problem, but as long as we stood our ground in this position, the interior obstacles would be more of a hindrance to the attackers than us.
I really wished we’d spent more time practicing this, as we were without a backup. My Protective Shell spell wouldn’t reset for another 19 hours. I shook my head, realizing how much time we’d saved by only sleeping for two hours. Still, with only nine more days to find a path to the exit, we couldn’t afford to waste time.
As I watched, Katia’s shape changed. She grew shorter, more squat while her arms grew in length, with bulges at her forearms, making her look like a deranged Popeye. Her face gritted with pain as she altered. I knew the faster she changed, the more it hurt. She’d been practicing this in the training room. I wasn’t certain this was the best shape, but it was impressive and kind of gross at the same time.
“That’s right, Mongo. Good boy. Don’t. Don’t! Yes, that’s right. Stay!” Donut called, trying to keep the pet from rushing forward. The dinosaur was bouncing up and down in anticipation, squealing in anger at the Bonkers.
The Bonkers’ enthusiasm for attacking us waned in the five seconds between them rushing into the room and realizing they faced a party that included a dinosaur. The forward creature stumbl
ed as he tripped over the corpse of the first chomper. He righted himself, only to collapse after getting hit in the head by a well-placed Magic Missile.
The next two came at us, side-by-side, swinging their clubs. One swung at Mongo, but the wooden, spiked club caught on the pole just as Mongo slashed forward with his feet. The creature was disemboweled before he even felt the reverberation of his club against the metal pole.
At the same time, the other attacker swung at me as Donut lobbed a pair of missiles at the two Bonkers in the back row.
Katia spun and caught the swing with her right arm. She didn’t put her arm in front of the club, but behind it, catching it as it swung downward. She added to the momentum, forcing the club to swing down and to my left, causing the Bonker to stumble. It grunted in surprise. Katia retracted her arm as I jumped forward and punched, smashing the wide monster in the face. It crumpled to the ground, and I stomped on its head. Its jaw crackled like glass under the crush of my foot.
A life bar formed over Katia, but it didn’t appear as if she’d really lost any health.
The last two monsters were on the ground, piled on top of one another. Both had been hit with a magic missile, though a low powered one. Neither were dead. I activated my new Talon Strike ability and stepped forward. With two quick foot jabs, I smashed open both of their heads.
“That’s really disgusting, Carl,” Donut said. “Every time your foot gets stronger, the amount of blood that comes out is more and more.”
“Are you okay?” I asked Katia as I wiped my foot on the side of the pole. “That was pretty slick.”
“It didn’t really hurt so much as sting,” she said, rubbing her arm. “I caught one of the spikes, but it mostly scraped against the metal part of my arm. Mostly.”
“Okay, good,” I said. “Just be careful. I almost accidentally punched you and not the monster.”
“Yeah, it’s hard in these close quarters.”
Four more Bonkers entered the car and came charging at us.
“Well the good news is we can try this again,” I said, backing up. “Reset the formation.”
A note from DoctorHepa
It's Wednesday! And you know what that means? Absolutely nothing when you work at home! I hope everyone is doing well. Over at the DoctorHepa household, my wife decided that she's going full keto which means I've been eating leaves and shit. Feel free to mail me bagels and potatoes.
* * *
Chapter 78
We were done with the rest of the monsters only a few minutes later. We’d only had to face the creatures in cars three and four. Whatever was in car number five, it didn’t easily allow the passage of the monsters from the sixth car. On the map, that fifth train was similarly shaped to the janitor’s quarters, but there was some sort of odd, square structure within. We needed to check it out, but we didn’t have time. We only had a couple of minutes until we reached stop number 84, which was “Phantom Kangaroo station.”
“Okay, let’s set up,” I said.
I had fabricated multiple, quick and dirty car fortifications using the engineering workbench. I had two types of defenses. Exterior door blocks and gangway blocks. I’d made four door blocks and two of the gangway ones, which would allow us to hopefully isolate an entire train car for ourselves as long as we cleared it first. And as long as the exterior doors only opened on one side. If we came across any stations where the doors on both sides of the train opened simultaneously, we were going to be in trouble.
“Phantom Kangaroo coming up,” came the announcement. The voice was similar to the last train, but not identical. “That’ll be station number 84. After that is stop number 85, which is an exit-only cavern stop. Thanks for riding the tangle.”
I moved into the gangway and closed the door to train number three. I pulled the massive sheet of metal out of my inventory. I’d made it just about the right size. There wasn’t anything fancy about it. It was just a giant, rectangular hunk of metal with rounded edges that I wedged into the space. It’d originally been a swordsman breast plate that I’d thinned out to about a fifth of an inch thickness, which allowed me to make it pretty big. The thing was solid and heavy as shit. It’d probably take four or five normal humans to lift it. If I didn’t have my foot buff active, it’d shatter my foot if I dropped it in the wrong place. I called it the “Gangway Chock.” The obstruction was much larger than either of the doors, and it was wide enough that no monsters would be able to wriggle or slide around it, not unless they were tiny. And even then, they’d only be able to come one at a time. Since I could easily pull the wedge in and out of my inventory, it was no real impediment for me. I was also working on a design to keep the sliding doors shut, but I first wanted to see if the sliding door design was universal before I wasted too much time on it.
Next came the exterior door blocks. These were tall wedges fashioned from altered weight benches. I used crossbars, similar to the supports we used for the portable redoubt, to slide through holes in the top, middle, and bottom of each wedge. We slid the wedges against the doors and shoved the crossbars through the holes, snaking them through the handholds by the exit doors, which kept the wedge loosely in place. I’d been afraid that I’d accidentally make the wedges too wide, and I ended up making them too slim. I would need to engineer something that was either adjustable or modular. Or better yet, what I really needed was to get my hands on several industrial jacks or post shores. Something we could quickly construct and break down. In the meantime, this would have to do.
I nervously inspected my wedge system. I put a hand against it, and it rattled back and forth. On the red line car, the handhold system was set up differently, so my design wasn’t perfect, and a monster or two could probably force their way in after a few seconds. But hopefully this would keep us from getting overwhelmed. The moment we had a free moment, I’d pull out my new tape measure and get accurate dimensions of the doorways, the gangways, and everything else I could think of.
“These things don’t look very stable, Carl,” Donut said as the car slowed to a stop.
“Nope,” I said.
A new type of monster lounged about the platform. These were large, green-skinned fish-looking dudes. There was only a handful of them, and none of them appeared too interested in fighting anybody. These were like full-sized Kua-tin, but more monstrous looking than the Gleeners. Each of them had massive, milk-white eyes. They started to lazily line up at the landing. A pair of the creatures stood on the platform outside of car number two. They didn’t seem to notice us examining them through the windows. I examined its properties.
Pollyslog. Level 22.
Of all the monsters from prehistoric Kua-tin mythology, the Pollyslogs are some of the most fearsome. They are strong, intelligent, and gigantic. At least compared to the Kua-tin. So what I’m really saying is they’re moderately durable, dumb as a sack of pickled turnips, and, well, they are pretty big. They also secrete acid from their fingers, so you might want to watch out for that.
It sounded like the AI was still pissed at Borant. I wondered how long that would last.
“Get ready to repel boarders,” I said.
Donut grunted. “You know this isn’t a boat, right? All this starboard and aft and pirate talk is starting to really annoy Mongo, especially since we don’t know what the hell you’re talking about half the time.”
Katia laughed. The door slid open. Through the window, I watched as one of the Pollyslogs walked right into the wedge. It reached up and touched it with a webbed hand.
Up until this moment, the creatures had been acting strangely lethargic. That changed the instant the monster realized it couldn’t get onboard. It started screaming and banging its hands against the barricade. A doorway down, the second Pollyslog did the same. This second one started smashing himself against it like he was trying to break down a door. The one closer to me managed to slide his long, green arms around the obstruction, hugging it. Both monsters squealed in outrage as the doors started to close a moment la
ter.
I rushed forward and slammed against the wedge, pushing it back.
It turned out that the doors did not work like normal subway doors. The fish monster’s arms severed off with a loud crunch. The two arms slopped to the ground, leaving a sizzling trail where they grasped onto the wedge.
“Don’t,” Donut yelled at Mongo, who was about to gobble them up.
The second Pollyslog had managed to also get killed by the door, but this one had gotten more of his body into the car. The door cut him in half, leaving a mess of gore between the wedge and the doorway. The back half of his fish body remained there attached to the outside of the door. As the train started moving, it caught on the wall, likely leaving a stream of gore down the entire side of the train.
I gingerly took the two arms into my inventory as I quickly measured the exterior doorway.
We had ten minutes to stop number 85. I didn’t hear any commotion coming from car number three. It didn’t appear any of the Pollyslogs had gone into that car.
“Let’s go check out car #5,” I said. “Maybe there will be clues in there telling us what to do.”
I quickly removed all the fortifications. We moved to the car number three, which was empty as I suspected. So was car number four.
The fifth car featured a thicker, but unlocked door, just like with the 15th car. There was a sign on the door reading Do Not Enter. Tangle Employees Only. I hesitantly slid it open, peering inside. I saw the white dot indicating an NPC just as the door slid open. I relaxed and stepped inside.
Entering Employee Break Room.
This was a wide open room with a set of benches and tables against one wall and a large bar against the other. About halfway down the car was what appeared to be a separate room that took about a third of the total space. The sign over this room said Conductor’s Quarters.