by DoctorHepa
“Oi. You a good lot.” He winked at Donut. “I’ll be back and we talk some more about that fish, okay, luv?” He turned and ran to the edge of the engine. He paused to wave.
And that was when the spider ghoul, the one Donut had killed, turned from an X back to a red dot. It lunged forward and grasped the small, furry gremlin. It ripped the mechanic’s head off in one, smooth motion and started to devour his body. The whole thing happened in less than a second.
“Well that’s going to be a problem,” I said.
* * *
“We have a few choices,” I said as Donut shot the re-reanimated spider ghoul off the engine. “We can abandon the train. If we do that, we either fight through the ghouls and make our way up one of the tracks on foot, or we can try to go back through that same portal and return to the switching station, also on foot.”
“Neither are very appealing,” Katia said.
“Or, I can try climbing that chain up into the tower. I can figure out the turntable controls.”
“That’s not going to work, Carl,” Donut said. “You’re the only one who knows how to drive the train. I’ll go up the chain and see if I can figure it out.”
I exchanged a look with Katia. “I don’t know, Donut. I don’t like the idea of you doing that alone. You might need hands to control it.”
“If that little pervert can work the controls, then I can figure it out,” Donut said. “Besides, do you really think you can climb that chain? It’s quite long. Mongo will be ready to graduate college by the time you get up there. I can do it quick. I can Puddle Jump if I have to, but I’d rather save it for coming back.”
“Okay,” I said after a moment. “Just be careful.”
“I’m always careful, Carl,” Donut said, shooting another missile. “I’m going out there.”
“Wait,” I said. I pulled a hobgoblin smoke curtain from my inventory and tossed it through the window. It ricocheted off the side of the engine and landed on the ground between two ghouls. Thick smoke started to billow around the train.
Donut leaped through the window, traversed down the walkway to the very front of the engine. She turned and leaped up to the top of the awning, flying easily into the air. A moment passed, and then I watched as she nimbly rushed up the chain. Twenty seconds later, she disappeared into the tower.
Donut: WOW. I CAN SEE REALLY FAR. THERE ARE A BUNCH OF SUBWAY CARS AT THE OTHER END. I CAN SEE THE GATE WHERE THE TRAINS ARE SUPPOSED TO GO THROUGH. THE BUILDING THERE IS ON FIRE. THE GHOULS THAT WENT THROUGH THE FENCE ARE CHASING THE DWARVES AND THE TALL GUYS WHO GIVE OUT THE PRIZE SUITCASES. CARL, WE NEVER GOT KATIA A SUITCASE. I CAN’T BELIEVE WE FORGOT!
Carl: We didn’t forget. We decided the prizes weren’t worth the risk. Are you good? Do you see what to do?
Donut: HONESTLY, CARL. GIVE ME A MINUTE. THERE ARE MULTIPLE CONTROL PANELS. IT ALSO SMELLS AWFUL IN HERE. JUST AWFUL. WIDGET WAS A VERY MESSY CREATURE. HOW MANY LOTION CONTAINERS DOES ONE GREMLIN NEED? I CAN’T IMAGINE HIS WIFE WAS A VERY GOOD COOK CONSIDERING HOW MUCH TIME HE OBVIOUSLY SPENT UP HERE.
Carl: Make sure you loot everything. You never know what might come in handy.
Donut: WAS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE A PUN?
Carl: Just hurry up.
Donut: DON’T PRESSURE ME, CARL.
A loud clanking filled the trainyard. In the distance, a freight car sitting by itself on a track toppled over on to its side.
Donut: WHOOPS. WRONG PANEL.
Carl: How in the hell…
Ahead, the massive turntable rumbled. It started to rotate. Multiple ghouls standing on it tumbled off their feet. The track spun, stopping in front of us. I peered through the window at the track. It didn’t match up.
Carl: Great job, Donut! But move one more slot over. That track isn’t the right gauge.
It moved again, clanking into place. This time, the rails matched up. I pulled the brake, knocked on the window to let Brandy know we were moving, and I eased the train forward. We had almost a dozen ghouls climbing the exterior. If they got near the window, Katia speared them with her hand. They stumbled as the train lurched. A few fell off.
The train detached from the other cars as it moved. Thank goodness. I pulled as far forward as I dared, making certain we were fully on the platform.
Donut: NOTHING IS LABELED. I DON’T KNOW WHAT THE RIGHT ONE TO TURN TO IS.
I searched the line of trains sitting under the awnings. There weren’t too many actual steam engines here. Most of the trains and train parts were random cars. I did catch sight of one engine sitting on a track adjacent to the awnings. It was attached to a single passenger car, and the train was facing the wrong way. It was also painted blue. I followed the line of tracks, and it curved toward the distant exit. Most of the tracks sized for steam engines curved back toward the portal.
Carl: I think I know which one. I’ll tell you when to stop. Now see if there’s a control up there that will open the gate.
Donut: I ALREADY OPENED IT BY ACCIDENT AND MORE GHOULS STARTED WALKING OUT. I DIDN’T TELL YOU BECAUSE I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT GET MAD.
* * *
Donut used Puddle Jumper to return to the Nightmare. I opened up the back door and pummeled down the ghouls on the small landing, clearing the area for her return. These guys weren’t nearly as quick or strong as the ones suffering from stage-two DTs. Like with zombies, their danger was in the swarm. Luckily only a few dozen remained interested in us. Donut leaped down, getting gore on her paw. She grumbled as we returned to the cab, locking the door.
From there, we steamed our way toward the massive, double doors that led out of the trainyard. Dozens of tracks converged side-by-side as they pushed through the exit. The archway reminded me of that giant entrance in the Jurassic Park movies.
We moved slowly. The ghouls mostly got out of the way, but the cowcatcher sometimes caught one of the monsters, causing it to spin away. Sometimes they died, but I suspected if we didn’t get them in the heads, they’d just get right back up again in a few minutes.
Just outside of the gates stood a hulking, concrete building that was now fully engulfed in flames. The sign above the three-story building read The Iron Tangle Substation E. The thing reminded me of a Soviet-era government building in its simple, efficient brutality. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if this was a repurposed structure from that era. Dozens of dead dwarves and grapples lay on the ground where they’d been congregating. Since the trains had stopped coming, the conductors and porters were lining up, waiting for trains that would never appear. As I watched, a dwarf and a pair of porters materialized, popping right out of the brick wall. They looked dazed. A moment later, they were set upon by ghouls.
Almost all of the tracks led to the front of the substation, running along the loading area for the workers. Our track, however, led along the backside of the building. We eased our way around the wide turn. There was another, smaller landing here at the back of the building. The track eventually led to a cave entrance against a distant wall.
As we moved, a single figure popped out from the back of the flaming building and ran directly for us. A human! She waved her arms frantically as I eased the brakes. She had a white dot, meaning she was an NPC, not a crawler. She screamed as a flaming wolf ghoul lurched from the building.
The woman wore a white, business dress that was now covered in soot. She only had one shoe on, a black heel. She shuffled as she ran toward us, shrieking. She was in her mid-forties, and she looked like any typical, suburban soccer mom. She was absurdly out of place here.
“I’m going to let her on,” I said.
“You sure that’s a good idea?” asked Katia. “This has got to be some sort of trap. Or something. I mean, look at her.”
“I don’t think so,” I said. “Check out her description.”
Madison – Human. Level 10.
Iron Tangle Human Resources Associate
This is a Non-Combatant NPC.
Madison’s real name was probably something like Jennifer
or Ruth, but she had it legally changed to something more trendy right around the same time as her divorce. After multiple rounds of breast augmentation, Pilates, and labiaplasty, Madison has emerged as a new woman. She don’t need no man. While only a human resources associate—after all, she started her career late—she still walks the world with new confidence. She won’t tell this to any of her friends at her book club, but she relishes the power she has over the other Iron Tangle employees. She feels an almost sexual surge of gratification when she tells those dwarves that overtime is mandatory.
“Why do they keep calling it human resources?” Donut asked. “It’s racist!”
Madison cried out as the wolf ghoul leaped and caught the back of her hair in its ravening mouth. She tumbled backward.
“Donut,” I said. She jumped through the broken window, jumped to the top of the cab, and shot two quick Magic Missiles at the ghoul. The former wolf monster hissed and dropped. The woman scrambled to her feet and ran to the train, pulling herself up the ladder. I eased off the brakes, touched the throttle, and we steamed away just as more flaming ghouls emerged from the back of the building. They gave chase, but we quickly outpaced them.
“Thank you, thank you,” the woman said when Katia opened the door for her. We entered the tunnel. Just a few moments later, I caught sight of a glowing sign. There was a ladder against the wall, leading up to a trap door in the ceiling of the tunnel. The sign read Transit Station 11. I wondered if there’d be a Desperado Club at this one. The glowing sign for station 12 was only a few hundred meters further down. I remembered what Widget had said, that station 12 was where the janitor ghouls congregated. Sure enough, the little sign read Jikininki Peak Station 12. Let’s skip that one for now.
“Wait, I don’t recognize you,” the woman said. “How did you get in here? What’re your employee numbers?”
“Hardly. Do I look like someone who would work for a trainyard?” Donut asked.
The woman was a mess. It appeared as if she’d spent a lot of time getting her hair perfectly placed this morning, piled atop her head in bun. Now it hung in frizzy tatters where the festering wolf ghoul had lunged at it. That giant bun of hair had saved her life.
The woman looked scandalized. That looked instantly reminded me of Bea’s mom. The woman even had the same my-facelift-is-a-bit-too-tight catwoman glare. “Customers are not allowed in the train engines! I’m going to have to alert the transit authority. This is most irregular.”
Station 13 whipped by. It was also a transit station. I laughed. “Lady, we just saved your ass. If you don’t like it, I can stop and let you off right here. I’m sure those ghouls will take fine care of you.”
“Where are we taking her?” Katia asked.
“You’re taking me to Yard A,” the woman said. “It’s the headquarters. There you can turn yourself in.”
“Yeah?” I asked. “How do we get there from here?”
“I don’t know,” she said. “Have you seen the full map for the Tangle? It’s impossible to figure out. Plus I’ve never actually seen Yard A. We need an engineer to lead the way. Isn’t there a map or something in here?”
Station 14 and 15 whipped by. “We’re going to stop at the service entrance for 24 to check it out and see if it needs to be cleared,” I said. “After, we can take her up to 60 and set her free. Widget said there’s a loop after that, and the train can turn around. If that’s true, then we can stay in the area until it’s time to go down.”
“Set me free?” Madison said, incredulous. “Are you suggesting I’m a prisoner? And station 60 is where the lower employees stay.”
Yep, I thought. Bea’s mom. “Where do you live, then?”
“I have an apartment in the executive quarters outside of Yard A.”
“Wait, what? You just said you’ve never been to Yard A.”
Station 17 was another transit station. Eighteen was called Barren Station. I wondered if these had monsters similar to the higher stations, and if there was a Krakaren boss at 20.
The woman didn’t answer. I looked back over my shoulder to regard her. She was staring off out the window, a strange look of confusion on her face. “I’ve been putting in a lot of hours. Mandatory overtime.”
I was starting to suspect there was no Yard A. I was also suddenly curious about what we’d find over at Station 60. Before, when Vernon the dwarf conductor had told us about his wife, I’d assumed his wife had been a made-up phantom. Widget had a similar story, but it was clear he’d actually been living in that tower. “You’ve never been to your apartment, have you?”
“Of course I’ve been to my apartment. It’s just been… It’s been a few days.”
I nodded. When they’d programed this floor in, they’d given all these NPCs a bunch of false memories, but they hadn’t set up a proper foundation. All the stories were paper thin, like the background of an NPC in an actual game. This was probably the first time since the floor started that Madison had left her office. I thought of Brandy and her two new babies. When this floor was done, would she be able to keep the children?
A crawler named Herot had written the 16th edition of the cookbook, and she had a long essay in the back about the nature of the NPCs. She had a theory she called, “The Worn Path Method,” which suggested success in quests and puzzles was much easier when you deliberately broke through the fourth wall. She believed the NPCs were the weakest link in this world because they were biological and not autonomous. I’d only read the first few paragraphs so far. She claimed that breaking them out of their reverie was cruel, but also necessary if one wanted to survive. Ask them questions, and then challenge them when they don’t know something they should. Be kind but firm. There was so much in the cookbook I still needed to study, and my reading time was at a premium. I made a mental note to go back and finish through the essay.
“You’ve either been to your apartment or you’ve never seen Yard A. It can’t be both. Which is it?” I demanded.
“I… I don’t know,” she finally said. “That ghoul must have given me a concussion.”
I saw the sign for station 24, and I slowed the train. We stopped, and I set the brake. I turned to Madison. “Look,” I said. “I have several questions. Answer them for me, and we’ll take you to station 60. If someone there knows how to get to Yard A from there, we’ll take you.”
“Okay,” she said after a moment. She leaned up against a bulkhead. She looked exhausted. “What do you want to know? If it’s about the trains, I don’t really know much. I’m in charge of telling employees that overtime is mandatory. They come out to get on the Homeword Bound, and I tell them to get back to work. Oh, and I am the benefits manager for all the Kravyad and the six Station Mimics.”
“The what?”
“Terminus. The Station Mimics. There are six of them, and boy do they get cranky if we don’t send enough passengers into them. Those things are ravenous. We tell the workers to always tell the customers to get off on 433, but you’d be surprised at how awful dwarves are at following instructions. And don’t get me started on the ManTauRs. They can’t keep their paws to themselves.”
Carl: Bautista. Do not get off at the Terminus Station. It’s a goddamned trap.
A note from DoctorHepa
Hey everybody! I hope everyone is doing well. School started today, and my kids are doing it from home via Zoom. The entire district's servers pulled a Hindenburg this morning. Plus the entire state is burning down, and it's raining ash over my house. On top of that, I have an injured dog, so it's pretty stressful right now in DoctorHepa world. But it will all work out in the end.
Chapter 91
A note from DoctorHepa
If you're reading this chapter before October 2nd, please be sure to read the post notes for some important info.
Bautista: Yeah, you’re a little late there, buddy. Can’t talk. The whole damn station is a city boss. We gathered about 400 people on the train, and when they went up the stairs, it swallowed the first twenty of them like
it was eating Cheese Rings. We’re on the platform now fighting off its tongue and its minions. It belches and these walking mouth things pour out of it. They’re too strong. Waiting on the next train to escape. Don’t know what we’re going to do. Half of these guys sold their hats.
Carl: Holy shit. Be careful. You’re going to have to fight the boss at 435 and try the employee portal exit. I’ll try to find out about them now. Keep me updated.
Bautista: Talk soon.
How had he gathered 400 people? That seemed like too many at one place at one time.
I turned to Madison. “The Kravyad. Tell me about it. Now. Quickly.”
“Which one? We have a few dozen on shift right now.”
“Does it matter? Are they different?”
“Of course they’re different,” she said. “One of them is always whining he wants to go home to visit his girlfriend. Another is demanding hazard pay after getting stabbed by a crawler. She was highly offended as she’s not designated as a combatant. They’re just as different as you and your little hairy friend.”
“Not a combatant? So they’re not bosses?”
“Bosses? Hardly. They’re actually part of the human resources department.” Madison straightened, standing proudly. “They work directly under me. Part of management’s initiative to increase productivity.”
“Holy shit, lady. Start with the basics. What is a Kravyad? And do they attack people? Like the station mimics attack people?”
“Like I said, they’re part of a money-saving initiative. A very successful one, I might add. The conductors and porters are less likely to demand time off if they don’t remember their between-shift breaks. They end their shift, go into what we call a pre-production stupor, and they awaken ready for their next shift. They’re still quite dazed until the moment they get on the trains. And by then it’s too late to request time off. It has increased productivity by 35%. The Kravyad are responsible for maintaining this program.”