The Blind Date

by Landish, Lauren

  “Need help getting down?”

  I shake my head, not willing to let go of the back of my white skirt, which feels wet from the fountain’s mist. Great, now that I’ve gotten it down over my ass, it’s probably gone sheer from the moisture. I hop down to laughter and applause, and deciding, like Jane Eyre, that I’d rather be happy than dignified, I bow dramatically.

  “Thank you, thank you.”

  “Damn!” Eli says in awe, scanning through the photos on the screen. “Would you look at that?”

  Now that the show is over, I can also hear some whispering pearl-clutchers nearby, but I ignore them to rush over to see the photo. At my side, Arielle whistles.

  I look Marilyn Monroe-esque, my hands trying to push down my billowing dress with the water arcing up behind me. Surprisingly, it doesn’t look awkward but instead classy, old-school sexy, and pretty. In the background, the bright spring sky, the water, and the trees of the park make it look almost like a postcard.

  The more I stare at it, the more I like it.

  It strikes the perfect tone, quirky and fun! The perfect photo to post, too, because it’s so spontaneous and kooky.

  “I love it!” I breathe in awe at my luck of getting such an awesome shot. “I’m going to have to frame this!”

  Eli nods and adds, “Maybe the whole series.” He scans left a few shots, and I watch the progression of my posed shot, the shock of the water coming on, a picture with my panties on full display, me fighting with my skirt, and then the iconic Marilyn pose. The last shot is one of me giving in to the craziness and smiling widely as I laugh out loud, my eyes closed and my face lifted to the sun.

  He’s right, the whole series is . . . me. Riley Sunshine. And also, really me, Riley Watson.

  “Congratulations, honeychops.” Eli has the worst terms of endearment, but this one makes me chuckle.

  I grin, touching the screen to zoom in on my smile. The post is already writing itself in my head. Something about inspiring people, their giving my life a purpose, and appreciation for what we’ve built together. And most of all? Excitement over what the future holds.

  Arielle hugs my shoulders. “I can see that you’re already working in your head, and I’ve got to get back to work myself. But we’re on for Friday.” She points to me and then Eli, not asking us but telling us. After we nod our agreement, she makes quick strides down the street to get back to the nursing home where she works.

  Eli watches her every step.

  “What’s up with that?” I ask, not needing to be any more specific than that because it’s obvious where his mind is.

  “Just thinking we’re not kids anymore,” he says contemplatively.

  “You sound like you want to settle down,” I answer quietly, making a big leap about his thoughts.

  “I’m not searching for it, but if it happens, it happens,” Eli says. “I’ve got a mortgage, for God’s sake. Who the hell thought I was a good bet for a six-figure loan?” He presses a hand to his chest over his hundred-dollar dress shirt, his gold watch glinting in the sun.

  I grin. “Uh, your boss? You’ve come a long way, baby.”

  “Maybe that’s what you need too?”

  “A mortgage?” I ask, lifting an eyebrow. “No, thanks. One of my goals is to buy my first house ‘cash on the barrel’, as Daddy says. I’m fine with apartment life until then.”

  “I won’t even go into that with you,” Eli says, forgoing the lecture on smart financials to stay on track with his current advice train. “But what I mean is, you’re not just the happy girl on Instagram anymore. You’re a legit business. You’re a brand, Riley Sunshine. And maybe what you need isn’t Mr. Right Now, but Mr. Right.” It seems he’s turning around from his earlier declaration that dick is all I need.

  That’s a lot of pressure, especially considering I only just decided that maybe I could start dating. I choose to deflect, giving myself time to think on that later. “And did you find Mr. or Miss Right this past weekend? Or the weekend before that?” I ask pointedly, and Eli shakes his head.

  “Nope . . . but damn if it wasn’t fun. Do you know how good a big ol’ eight-inch . . .” He grins big and broad, the eternally inappropriate jokester holding his hands out wide, but I see his eyes tick down the street after Arielle before landing back on me.

  “Lemme stop you right there. I don’t need the details right now, especially since we’re in public.”

  Eli looks around and agrees. “Point taken,” he says, ignoring that I’d flashed my panties to the people around us moments ago. But he wags his brows and adds, “You know you’re already imagining it anyway.”

  I swat at his shoulder, grinning. “Well, now I am.”

  He feigns pain at my wimpy slap, holding a hand over his shoulder. “Watch it, tiger. No need to get all feisty on my account.” He rawrs and scratches at the air like a giant cat.

  “You’re a sweetheart, Eli, you know that?” I say genuinely. He flips between light-hearted and insightful, giving me just enough to think on but also letting me have time to marinate the seeds he plants.

  Eli laughs and slings an arm around my shoulder. “You know it, honeychops. I’m sweet, and you’re sunshine. Now you just need to find your other half.”

  “If he’s out there.”

  Eli nods, and we start heading out of the park. “You know, maybe instead of looking for more sunshine, you need a Yin to your Yang.”

  “Gloomy? Negative Nicky?”

  “I was thinking more moonlight to your sunlight, you know?”

  I nudge Eli in the ribs. “You’re a wise man.”

  “Hell, I know that. Life would be much, much better if the whole world just listened to me. Financial security and sexual satisfaction, all rolled up in one sexy as fuck package.” His cockiness and jokes cover his true desire to help.

  “Maybe. But if you’re sweet and I’m sunshine, what does that make Arielle?” I ask, tiptoeing back into deeper waters curiously.

  “Great question, Miss Sunshine. That is definitely a great question.” Eli shakes his head as though he can rattle an answer out of the cobwebs lurking in the corners of his mind. But Eli is way too neat and tidy for any dust or dirt—in his mind or his life. He examines every corner, every possibility and opportunity before committing. Whether it’s a mortgage, a mutual fund, a second date, or . . . more.

  “See you Friday night?” I offer.

  “You know it. I’ll bring the wine, as always.” Eli has much better taste in wine than either me or Arielle, who would happily pop a twisty straw in a box of Franzia and sip it like an adult Capri Sun, so wine is his self-given assignment.

  “I’ll make sure I’ve got clean wine glasses and a charcuterie board for us to nibble on.”

  Eli blinks slowly, surprised. “Listen to you, fancy-pants. Did you say charcuterie?”

  I laugh. “You wouldn’t be impressed if you knew I had to mentally say shark-cuter-ie in my head before I say it aloud. Same as Wed-nes-day every time I have to spell it.”

  His laugh is slow and deep as he shakes his head. “Finding you a Mr. Right might be harder than I thought, but I’ll trust that Arielle has a plan. She always does.”

  Chapter 2

  Noah

  “You know what your problem is, Noah?” my best friend and colleague, River Watson, asks me as I check over my appearance in the mirror on the wall of my office. “You’re too damn uptight.”

  Running my fingers through my hair, I straighten my suit coat for the third time before evening out the cufflinks of my dress shirt and shifting my tie. “You’re just now figuring that out? That might make your problem an utter lack of observation.”

  Quirking my brow, I turn to appraise River, who’s perched on the corner of my desk and eying me with a critical smirk. Like me, he’s dressed smoothly in dress pants and a tie, though minus the suit coat, his golden blond hair perfectly styled. He chuckles dismissively. “You and I both know that’s not true. I see everything, know everything.” His tone go
es hollow and ominous.

  “Tell me something I don’t know.”

  There’s nothing. River and I have been best friends for years at this point. We’ve seen each other at our best and our worst.

  “That the Red Queen is never going to let you gain too much power,” River supplies readily, “no matter how hard you work. She’s not ready to go anywhere and is not the type to share.”

  Shit. He knows how to hit below the belt. Not to my balls, but to my weakest point—my ambition.

  He’s speaking of the CEO of Life Corp, Elisa Montgomery. Or ‘Lady Elisa’, as most of her employees call her, a nickname that definitely fits her royal demeanor.

  A woman of extreme intelligence, she’s headed Life Corp for the better part of a decade, and for good reason. She’s a shrewd leader with exceptional judgment who surrounds herself with impeccable talent. I definitely count her among my mentors.

  To say she rules Life Corp with an iron fist is an understatement, and it’s known to everyone that she does so in a paradoxical manner. On one hand, she loves to see her employees work together to inspire creativity and innovation. She’s generous almost to a fault with her reward when someone or some team comes up with a new idea.

  On the other hand, if you piss her off or threaten her ‘tribe’, she’s scarier than a queen of Westeros. Then it’s not business, it’s a blood sport, and she’s not leaving the sands of that particular arena until she stands victorious.

  Most of Life Corp’s competitors have learned to compete with us politely because of it. Because if you don’t? Lady Elisa will buy you out, absorb your company, and leave you on the nearest street corner. She’ll warn you once, then crush you like a fly.

  Arguing over who’s right or wrong about a situation has been a consistent back and forth between River and me, stretching back to our early days. It’s what makes us great friends and even better people. I push hard on something, and Riv always pushes back. We challenge each other to be greater and recognize that together, we’re both more than we’d be alone.

  It was during our sophomore year in college, forced together as partners by proximity in the small Modern Business Technology classroom, that we came up with an idea that has changed both of our lives. Friendzone, a social media app.

  What began as an assignment to create a profitable product or service, research it, and attempt to see it through to fruition really seemed possible with us both working on it with full focus. We did everything we could, crowdfunding to get capital to outsource what we couldn’t do ourselves and learning what to do and not to do along the way.

  We had dreams of it being an instant hit, taking off like a rocket, with us becoming self-made millionaires before the ink dried on our diplomas. The truth isn’t nearly as impressive, but what Friendzone did do was get the attention of Lady Elisa. Though we weren’t competitors, and we thankfully didn’t get squished like a bug, Elisa worked us like the newbie businessmen we were, buying Friendzone from us for a reasonable price and offering both River and me jobs at Life Corp.

  Not being my own boss chafes sometimes, but I realize that I have a lot to learn, and getting first-hand business experience at Lady Elisa’s side is worth the time I have to put in paying my dues.

  Especially when she agreed to foster and fund our latest app idea, BlindDate. River and I have been busting ass on it for over a year, and we went live a month ago. And now, it’s time to face the music and get Elisa’s take on the success or failure of our launch.

  “Just remember,” Riv says as we leave my office, “you’re good enough, you’re smart enough, and dammit, people like you.” His hyper-earnest tone is annoying in a smile-inducing way, but I fight it and instead snort derisively because he’s not exactly correct.

  I’m a bit of a pessimist, someone who doesn’t expect the zombie apocalypse, but at the same time, I’ve got a bugout bag ready in my SUV . . . just in case.

  And if anyone knows how hard I am on myself, it’s River. No matter what I do, it’s not enough. If we hit expectations, we should’ve exceeded them. If I succeed, I could’ve done it sooner, better, somehow more. I’m capable of it if I put one hundred and ten percent in. Admittedly, I’m hard on the people around me too, expecting just as much from them.

  Detail-oriented, focused, driven, hard-edged. These are traits you want in a boss or employee, but not necessarily in a friend.

  We take the elevator all the way to the top floor where there are only two suites, the boardroom and Lady Elisa’s office. I mentally plan for the day this suite will be mine. I’ll change the carpet and chairs and move the desk so that I have the window at my back instead of my side the way Elisa prefers.

  But that day is a long way off from where I currently am.

  “Hey, Tina, Gina,” Riv greets Lady Elisa’s two executive assistants. Yes, two. One personal, one professional, equally smart and Pitbull-tough, and both at Elisa’s beck and call twenty-four, seven.

  Gina brushes her dark hair behind her ear and her olive skin blushes at Riv’s simple greeting, and I have to roll my eyes. She’s way out of his league but doesn’t seem to realize that.

  “Lady Elisa’s ready for you,” Tina says crisply, motioning us in. She’s Elisa’s work assistant and keeps her schedule tight and on time.

  We enter Lady Elisa’s inner office, and no matter how many times I’m in here, I’m impressed and inspired again by what I find. Floor to ceiling windows that look out over Briar Rose, lush rugs underfoot, and a large desk that greets you as you enter.

  But somehow, even though the office is large enough to dwarf even the largest of people, it’s impossible not to have my eyes drawn to Lady Elisa. She’s not in her desk chair, the tall wing-backed perch sometimes jokingly and quietly called her throne, but instead at the more casual, comfortable working table she uses when she wants her people to be comfortable.

  It’s a good sign, but my nerves don’t relax in the slightest.

  “Noah, River, good to see you,” Elisa says, gesturing to two seats at the eight-person conference table. “Have a seat. Tina will be in shortly with some coffee.”

  “Thank you,” I reply. I don’t need coffee this late in the day, but I’m damn sure not going to say no. I’ll sip it politely and gratefully and then work out a bit extra to get the caffeine out of my system so I can sleep tonight.

  River is a bit bolder, though. “Water for me, please.”

  I want to slap him stupid. Or stupider. But Elisa doesn’t miss a beat, pressing a button and calling out to Tina, “Two coffees, one water, please.”

  “Great. Now, let’s get to business. We’re obviously here to discuss your latest project, BlindDate. Dazzle me with the numbers,” Lady Elisa orders, sitting down in her chair.

  She has faith in us, in the app, which means a lot, but these figures aren’t quite the razzle-dazzle I want them to be. They never are. I reach into my coat and take out the thumb drive I saved all my data on and plug it into the computer integrated into the table as River talks.

  “We’ve made a good launch.” River starts on a good note. I get the computer up, and River continues. “As you see here, we’re currently in the top ten among social media apps in various app stores, which is a benchmark goal of the project.”

  I flip to the next slide. “However, we’re not seeing the number of downloads we’d hoped for.”

  That’s an understatement. I was hoping at this point to have five million or more people signed up, and we’re at one-tenth of that. Not that half a million is something to sneeze at, but it’s not going to set the dating world on fire the way I’d hoped.

  “Hmm . . . okay, let’s review,” Lady Elisa says. “Noah, walk me through your thought processes on this and remind me where we are. It’s an evolution of your Friendzone app, correct?”

  I appreciate that she remembers that much. Life Corp has multiple apps in the online store, some focused on finding love like BlindDate, but others focused on self-care, meditation, health, food, friend
s, and more. That Elisa has even a basic idea of what BlindDate is about is a relief and a compliment I don’t take lightly.

  I take over the presentation from River, wanting to get the phrasing just right, the way I practiced it when we pitched this idea. “Exactly. When River and I developed Friendzone, one of the things we wished we could have done better was the interest matching system. Friendzone uses a pretty basic system that’s highly dependent on the user inputting their information accurately and truthfully.”

  “And yet people don’t always answer accurately or honestly,” Lady Elisa says. “Not a big deal if they’re looking for someone to be bowling buddies with, but it’s perhaps a larger issue for a love connection.” She laughs lightly at the non-joke, and we chuckle along as expected. “So, what did you do?”

  “We included a one hundred-question survey that is fed into a highly advanced algorithm to ensure good matches,” River answers.

  “What makes it helpful is that the survey is judging psychologies and personalities even without the user’s awareness,” I add. “We worked with a team of psychologists to make it as comprehensive as possible.”

  Lady Elisa whistles. “Excellent. So, the questionnaire and algorithm are what sets BlindDate apart from the rest of the field, making it different than Match, Tinder, Grindr, etcetera, which have been around a long time. That’s what we need to push as the number-one sales point. Make users want that high-percentage match number.” She makes a fist, lightly hitting the table to emphasize the great idea as if it’s not exactly what we’ve been doing with our ad campaign. Point made, she moves on. “And then what happens once that match is made?”

  “Every other app out there talks about love, but the very first thing people see is a photo. Lust, not love. And our research showed that even for people who were supposedly looking for love, they’d click yes or no within ten seconds based primarily on the profile picture. BlindDate gets rid of the profile picture. Instead, using the survey, the AI searches through the database and finds you matches that you can scroll through at your leisure. But since you have to take a few moments and actually read someone’s information, you have to get to know them. And we encourage the users to talk before meeting. We want them to get to know one another.”