by K. Lyn Hill
Damien tried to reign in his temper but knew it was a weak attempt. "You’re in a very precarious position to be speaking to your future king like this."
Eli dragged his eyes to Damien’s and held his glare. "Aerity is a very special person who will defend someone no matter what kind of monster they are. She will find good in anyone. You push her time and time again without realizing you are mere inches from crossing the line. Once you do, you'll lose any chance you have with her because of your jealousy. You won't be able to get it back. Aerity will give you everything she has but she has a breaking point. Once you hit it, you'll lose her for good. You hold another's mistake over her head and can't see what's right in front of your face. She ran into a freaking burning shed to save a little girl’s life, yet you accuse her of cheating while she sits in her room bleeding and grieving. More important things are happening around you than who Aerity is screwing. Get your head out of your ass!" Eli’s words took a minute to settle in but once they did, they swam through Damien’s head. He didn't answer fast enough as Siel’s voice came in. "Who did she save?"
Eli’s eyes met theirs with a sad story in their depth just waiting to swim to the surface..."She tried to save Serenity."
Tried to..."What happened?"
Eli leaned his head against the wall surrounding his cell. "There was a fire and Serenity was caught in the shed. Aerity got her out...but at the last-minute Serenity ran back to the shed entrance to grab her toy that had fallen on the ground...the building collapsed on top of her."
Siel hissed from besides him. Damien knew how much she had loved that girl. Eli was right. He was a monster. Completely blind to who Aerity was. Everyone tried to tell him and he refused to see her for her. Everything she was. "Do I have your word that if I let you out, you won't mention this to Aerity?"
Eli threw him a distained filled snarl. "If she asks, I won't lie but I won't go out of my way to incriminate you. I will warn you though. I know Aerity, inside and out. We grew up together. So, I'm good at knowing her limit. You make one more mistake like this and she will be lost to you forever." That might be hard to avoid considering mistakes were all he seemed to be good at doing with her. Good thing he only needed to make it two more days until their wedding. Then she would have no choice but to stay.
Chapter Thirty-five
Aerity
Making her way back to the castle, she couldn't help but feel like everything had changed. She couldn't wrap her head around the villagers dropping to one knee as she passed or the circle of linked hands around Serenity’s grave. After a few stanzas of the song, some of them had tried to sing along with the chorus or the few words they picked up as it went on. The weight of their hands had given her strength and she knew any hardships that they were enduring, they could get through them together.
Damien, Siel and Eli stood at the entrance of the castle when she walked up, which she found quite suspicious. Eli knew where she had come from so it was no wonder why he was there, but she still didn't know where he went last night. Damien’s expression was unreadable and Siel looked like his normal troublemaker self. "All three of you are together. That's never a good thing." Siel’s eyes lit up with a smile while Eli glared in Damien’s direction.
Damien stared at her with his signature intensity. He stepped forward. "I was just wondering if we could have breakfast today in place of dinner last night."
She was still suspicious, her mind reverting back to that morning with her new guard. "What happened to change your mind about who I can keep as acquaintances?" Crossing her arms, she tried to show him who was boss but then her burns were a painful reminder of humility.
"I've had a change of heart. You may spend time with whomever you wish."
Eli still stood with a glower on his face. He tried to hide it but Aerity knew him too well to miss the expression. Wanting a minute alone with Eli, she looked back to Damien. "Can Daniel be my guard again?" Play nice, keep the claws sheathed. Peace will make life easier.
"Of course.”
He was being too accommodating. Something had happened while she was gone, and she wanted to know what. "Okay, I just need to freshen up. I'll meet you in the dining hall."
"I would like to have it in my rooms if that would be alright with you."
Now she knew something was up. She narrowed her eyes and glanced between each of the guys. "Okay. Then I'll meet you there in a few minutes." Without waiting for an answer, she started walking towards her rooms and shot Eli a look she knew he would interpret as a signal to follow. Not following her exactly on her heels, he arrived at her door a few minutes behind her.
"Ok what's the deal? Spill it."
"How are you feeling?" He was avoiding her question.
"Fine. Where were you this morning?"
A dark expression loomed over his face. "Indisposed."
"Come on Eli. I don't have all day. You know you’re going to end up telling me anyway. I won't stop asking and I won't give up."
He sighed. He knew it was true. She was an annoying pest when she wanted to be. "Damien heard some things and misinterpreted them." There was that vagueness again.
"And that means...?"
Rubbing a hand frustratingly down his face, he clicked his tongue to the roof of his mouth. "He locked me in the dungeon."
"He did what?!" She couldn't have possibly heard that right.
"He thought we were having an affair, so he took care of the problem." His bitter voice matched her answering laugh.
"He acts more with his emotions than his mind. How does he plan on running a kingdom when he can't get his own crap in order?"
Eli tapped his chin. "For some odd reason I thought you would be angrier than this.”
"Oh, I'm furious. I'm just not surprised. Damien's a bloody train wreck who will drag everyone he touches down with him." She started heading to the door.
"So what are you going to do?" He called from behind her.
"At the moment? I'm going to go eat some breakfast." The sound of the door slamming followed her down the hallway.
∞∞∞
Damien
He didn't need to look up to know that she knew. He could just feel it. Her anger was palpable in the air. Waiting for an explosion, he braced himself as she sat down in the seat across from him. Silence crowded the room, making every moment awkward. Aerity quietly scooped food onto her place and silently ate.
"You’re mad." He might as well state the obvious elephant lounging in the room. Only then would it possibly go away.
"I'm fine." Spreading the jam across her toast, the only sound surrounding them was the scraping of the knife to the bread. Aerity not speaking was worse than her yelling at him. Damien wanted her spark back. This version of her was dull and disappointing, even though he was more disappointed in himself for making her this way.
"I'm sorry about Serenity." He whispered.
Her knife clattered to the plate but she picked it back up and continued spreading. "Speaking of which, we need to figure out what to do about the festival tonight."
A piece of bread got lodged in his throat. He coughed to push it all the way down. He had completely forgotten about the festival. With all that was going on and what had happened, he assumed it wouldn't happen. "You still want to do the festival?" His voice croaked after almost choking.
"Yes."
"You don't think it may be ill-timed?"
"No, I think they will need it now more than ever.” She stated calmly.
“A party?” He asked cautiously.
“You realize Serenity is gone because of a fire that no one knows who started and this isn't the first time there has been one either. They feel their king and prince aren’t doing anything for their plight. Canceling this will only increase the issue. The people need to remain strong and in support of our marriage. By keeping them a part of it, we will avoid an uprising." Her answer sounded so distant. Where were her jokes and laughter? Had Serenity’s death affected her that much? Or was this who he
had forced her become solely with him?
"I'm trying to solve who is starting the fires, but they are all random attacks. No one suspicious has been sighted. They are ghosts. Unseen. Unheard. Yet they wreak havoc. As far as the festival, all the food has been burned that was set aside for the party. What do you suppose we feed them without ruining our books?"
She shrugged, emotionless once again. "I say we trim back for our wedding. I can think of many courtiers who I would love to disinvite."
He inwardly signed. He knew this topic was going to turn into another fight. Maybe then he could get the real Aerity back. "We can't dismiss nobles. They hold grudges and we can't afford to make more enemies."
She folded her napkin in her lap. "So what you’re saying is you would rather dismiss your own people, then a bunch of rich snobs?" The way she defended the lower class would amaze him if not for the fact he knew she was going to disagree with him.
"No, but our kingdom can't take another hit in our food stores."
“Then find who started the fires.”
She was impossible. “It’s not that simple and you know it.” He shot back. She still didn’t give him the satisfaction of her temper. Glancing up at him, with dead hollow eyes, she picked up her fork again.
“What do I know Damien? Please tell me what I know. I am to be future ruler of these people, yet you keep me in the dark. You go to war council meetings and refuse to let me attend. Fires are lighting up all over the village.” She lifted her hand in mock surrender. “and yet, where are you? Throwing temper tantrums about who I am with and what I am doing with them. For someone groomed to be king, you sure are useless and your people see it.”
His fingers gripped the table. He had wanted her anger, but not a personal attack on his ruling ability. He had enough doubts himself, without her adding to it but he couldn’t help but hear her words. As much as he wanted her to be wrong, he couldn’t deny the wisdom in them. He was acting like a child, when he should be caring for his people. “You’re right.”
Her eyes darted to his. “What?”
He almost smiled at the disbelief in her voice, but he held back. Her words still stung his pride. “You’re right but that still doesn’t change the fact that we don’t have food for this festival.”
She was still frozen from his comment when she abruptly shook her head. "You were going to use it for our engagement party. Would you have canceled if it were nobles attending and not villagers?" Well that confirmed it. He definitely didn't like this version of Aerity. She twirled her utensil in a circle like she had just trapped him inside it. Which it felt like she had. She had a point and he knew it. She was beginning to sound more like a noble than ever before. "What do you propose we do? Besides uninviting guests to our wedding that is." Her eyes met his. "Sell my wedding dress and jewels. Buy food. I can get married in rags for all I care."
"You have such little respect for the occasion?"
"It's a sham of a wedding and you know it." Little emotion peppered her words.
"How can you say that?!" Damien exclaimed.
She rolled her eyes. "You locked Elias in the dungeon because you thought I was cheating. You know nothing about me and yet pretend to know it all. Damien, this wedding is like playing dress up. It isn't real! Anyone who looks at us can see it. We argue all the time. There's no light, happy conversation between us. It's a freakin war. Let’s just call it what it is, shall we?"
He set his utensil down and tried to calm his beating heart. This was what he was waiting for. He craved her fire. He needed to play it right. Build it up just so. "Did you ever think that I act this way because it's real to me and I don’t like seeing you with other guys?"
She scoffed at that and continued eating like he hadn't said anything at all.
"Well?!"
"Arguing is your way to make us real? Do you hear how ridiculous you sound? You’re trying to fit me in a mold and get annoyed when I don't fit. I'm the circle to your square. I'm not her Damien, and the more you try to make me her, the more disappointed you will be."
"I don't want you to be anyone but yourself. I want your fight. I want the fire in your eyes when you try to set me straight and the knife at my throat when you threaten to kill me." That was his attempt at a joke, but she must not have gotten it because her bitter laugh sent chills down his spine.
"That's just it, Damien. I'm not any of those things. I only get pissed off when I feel threatened or disrespected. Haven't you noticed a difference between who I am with you and who I am with everyone else?"
He had noticed and it had driven him out of his mind insane.
"I don't want to be this person that I am with you." she whispered in pure defeat.
Was Elias right? Had he finally pushed her so hard that he had lost her forever? He couldn't believe that. He had to make her his, one way or another.
“Is this who you want to be?” Her eyes intensified as she asked her question. He could feel the middle of his forehead scrunch up as he contemplated an answer. She stared at him expectantly, waiting for his answer. He opened his mouth and then closed it trying to formulate the best words. After a few minutes, she must have assumed he wasn’t going to answer because shook her head, dragging her attention back to her plate. The answer to her question came to his mind then, and he wished she would ask it again so he could tell her. Who did he want to be? He wanted to be someone that she could love. But she didn’t ask, and he didn’t offer up the answer.
They spent the remainder of the meal in silence with her glaring intently at her plate and him keeping his eyes trained on her, wondering how he was going to fix the mess he put them in.
Chapter Thirty-six
Aerity
She had tried the entire breakfast to keep her anger from bubbling over. Just the presence of that insolent man made her jaw clench and her knuckles white. She was drawing her last straw of patience with him and she wondered if he knew it too. Then ignoring his pride, he admitted to her being right. He may have gotten a redeeming point for that specific action, but she couldn’t afford to give him more credit than that. When she had asked her question, she desperately wanted him to answer it and couldn’t hold back her disappointment when realizing he wasn’t going to. The meal was awkward at best; a foreshadowing to what her life would be like after the wedding.
But she couldn’t think of that. The festival was that night and there was much to be done still. Focusing on the task at hand, she created a mental check list. After confirming with the event coordinator and the cook, they had decided to cut out one of the courses at the wedding. She was sure the wedding guests wouldn’t miss one of the three meats they had originally arranged for. Besides, they had little choice. The storage shed was devastating. Not only to think of what happened to Serenity but also the hit taken on their food supply. The village would feel the brunt of the incident. The people’s spirits were low, hope was lacking. She and Damien needed to play their part and make people think their marriage was going to be their salvation. Even if it was her own personal damnation.
Once the festival got under way, everything was going relatively well, despite the circumstances surrounding the joyous occasion. She had spoken to Damien as the time for the event approached, telling him to put his game face on. He had stared at her like she had ten heads until she explained that they needed to act like a happy couple. Each time he had glanced at her that evening, she would catch glimpses of the real Damien. The one who harbored insecurities and regret. Hope swelled in her chest that maybe he had finally started to see her. There was nothing she desired more than for them to get along. She was marrying him the following day. She didn’t dare to dream anything further than maybe they wouldn’t spend every moment of their lives hating each other. Whether it was an impossible dream remained to be seen. She wanted to see the good in him, if only he didn’t thwart it at every turn. Now that she was forced to spend some time with him, he was trying to be civil. Dare she say, he almost treated her with respect.
> She could tell it was his first time in the village for quite some time. His gaze traveled along the length of people’s sunken bones. Shock permeated his expression as he took in their rundown huts. They had fallen into a comfortable silence as they watched their people.
“Were you even aware that it was this bad?” Aerity asked, curious to what his answer would be. She turned to look him in the eyes and thought she saw a flash of disappointment in them but then his expression cleared.
He replied dryly. “I’ve been busy Aerity, not blind.”
She bit her tongue, just now taking notice of his tired eyes and disheveled hair that he ran fingers through. Maybe that wasn’t a fair question to ask. He was still a stranger to her in so many ways.
He continued. “I’m also not so daft as to miss how much they love you. You can see it in their eyes when they look at you.” Gray eyes met hers.
“I simply have been in the right place at the right time. They needed something to hold onto.” She said.
He looked at her as if trying to solve a puzzle. “I saw them bow to you after Serenity died. You are much more than that to them.”
She didn’t know how to take his words. Fearfully, she held back from taking them at face value. Damien rarely had nice things to say to her. Something in the back of her mind waited for the other shoe to drop. It wasn’t often he disappointed in regard to derailing the good she saw in him.