by Allen, Jewel
He stayed silent for several excruciating heartbeats. His voice was flat. “So I wasn’t just imagining it.”
She closed her eyes and then opened them as she lowered her hands. “No.”
Should she tell him about her childhood? It seemed so unprofessional to do so, but she wanted him to understand. Maybe look at her in a new light. Even with lawyers, she hardly lost her temper. In the courtroom, she had been measured, controlled.
Still, she had no excuse for her knee-jerk reaction to Mick. Where did that anger come from?
“I’m sorry,” she said. “I don’t think I’m a good fit for this job.”
The frown was replaced by a widening of his eyes. “You’re quitting?”
“Don’t you want me to?”
His eyes searched hers, the cogs turning in his mind. Probably repelled by her. Why wouldn’t he be?
He raked long fingers through his blond hair. Out of sorts.
Tell me about it. Maybe we’re more similar than different.
No. Don’t go there. There’s no hope for you in this relationship.
She braced herself for her firing. When it didn't come right away, she hazarded a glance his way.
She didn’t see him as an employer. She glimpsed the man. A very attractive man whose word could make or break her right now.
“I’ll think about it,” he said.
What kind of answer was that? She wanted to weep.
But it was fair.
He reached for the knob and opened the door.
Chapter 6
Michael could fire her. He had a convenient excuse.
This wasn’t going to work out. And not just because of that odd little incident with Mick.
He found her too attractive, for one. What kind of a boss crushed on his children’s nanny? Only the slimy ones.
Besides, Lara complicated his orderly life. He’d need a saint of a wife to put up with his worldwide practice. Not to mention instant kids.
He had his tidy little career, his travel habits, his patients. He didn’t need a woman who was beautiful, funny, smart...and vulnerable. He could see it in her eyes. Underneath her smile, she was hurting. But he didn’t dare ask why. It wasn’t his place, was it? Especially with his nanny.
As she passed him, her fragrance reached his nostrils, weakening his resolve.
No.
When he glimpsed her anger, raw, and unfiltered, it surprised and alarmed him. But who was perfect? Certainly not him.
His brother, Jim, had he been alive, would have begged to differ. “Why can’t you mess up like the rest of us?” Jim had asked Michael when they were younger.
Of course, Lara didn’t act on her anger. She didn’t lash out. Which was a credit to her.
Michael followed her into the main cabin.
The attendant was sitting with the children, watching them play house. She acknowledged his thanks and then went back to her previous post, her expression loosening as though relieved she no longer had to man the prison yard.
Did he just think “man the prison yard”?
This safari was supposed to be his big long break. Now he had the children to think of. And Lara.
Should he let her quit?
She crouched next to the children, who welcomed her back with smiles. They were so forgiving, these little ones.
If he let Lara quit, she could walk the other way, and he would go on his own. He would manage the kids by himself.
On a safari.
He imagined the kids getting out of their lodging, being eaten by lions.
Great. He would make sure they stayed only in lockable rooms.
He sat back in his chair, not watching the trio for now. He would be watching the children plenty later. Besides, it sounded like Lara had matters at hand. When he noticed silence behind him, he couldn’t resist taking a peek. On the couch lay Lara, the children on either side of her, all three asleep. They’d been watching a movie.
His heart softened, just for a moment, his eyes lingering over the smooth planes of her beautiful face, relaxed in her sleep.
Out of necessity, he steeled his heart again.
Don’t fall for the nanny. That was an unspoken rule. Maybe he would be better off letting her go.
So he could soldier through this adventure alone.
What could Jim and Jane have been thinking, naming him guardian? Michael could work on intricate eye surgeries all day. But parenthood? He didn’t know how to be a dad.
Still, he’d made a vow to care for these children. He would learn what it took to be a good dad.
He had no choice but to be one.
So...keep the nanny or not?
Chapter 7
Lara stirred as the pilot announced they were landing in Johannesburg, South Africa. In her arms, the children woke too. Her heart contracted as they blinked into wakefulness, the innocents.
The children ran to the window and watched the descent. Johannesburg was a surprisingly modern-looking city surrounded by water and some green open space
Lara’s stomach plunged as the plane dipped down, down, down, until it jolted into a small bump before slowing across the runway.
“Welcome to Johannesburg,” the pilot said over the speakers.
Michael grabbed his carry-on and turned to the children. Lizzie snuggled in Lara’s arms while Mick held her hand. Michael’s eyes met hers before he averted his gaze.
Based on that glance, Lara was sure he was going to can her. Her heart flipped. She didn’t look forward to having to tell the children goodbye.
The cabin depressurized, and the door opened. Michael motioned for Lara to go ahead with the children. He would probably tell them she was leaving when they were in their vehicle. He’d have to arrange for Lara to take a flight wherever she wanted. She wondered what she would do next with her life.
They exited to a waiting Land Rover. It was a nicely souped-up version of the street edition, with a periscope and huge tires.
The driver was grinning ear to ear, his dark complexion glistening in the sun. “Hello, Doc,” he said. “My name is Kalinga, and I will be your driver for this leg of the trip. From here, we will go to Maun, Botswana. You had opted for the drive, but it’s not too late to fly a little bush plane over. It would save us a few days and a border crossing or two.”
“Let’s stick to the original plan,” Michael said, putting his gear in the back of the Rover. “I’d just as soon see the countryside. I’m sure there will be plenty of things to observe along the way.”
“Well, yes. That is correct. As you wish, then. Hello, children.” He bobbed his head enthusiastically. And then he turned to Lara. “And, miss, hello.”
“Hello,” Lara said with a smile. Her glance darted toward Michael.
He turned slowly and opened his palm. “I can take your bag,” he told Lara.
Her heart began to pound. He wasn’t firing her?
She walked over, not looking at him but feeling his gaze on her cheek.
“You don’t have to do this,” she whispered.
“You’re right,” he whispered back. “I don’t.” A smile played around his lips.
Her heart lurched at his kindness as tears pricked her eyes. “Why are you being so nice to me after...that?”
“Well, for one, I need a nanny. And two, I think you’re a good person. You didn’t act on your anger.”
A good person. She wanted so much to believe.
“Hey,” he said.
She blinked back the tears and gazed at him. Those gray eyes would drown her with his kindness. If she wasn’t careful, they could also scorch her with the flame that lay banked in their depths. A glimmer of attraction that needed to be beaten back.
“We’re going to be fine,” he said.
We?
She blinked faster and nodded, moving away quickly to make room for the children’s little bags. The feelings that surfaced overwhelmed her.
Confusion. Gratitude. Fear.
Because she was far from
cured. Her mother’s legacy still lived in her. That anger that blew up from nowhere at the end of a long, punishing day as one would expect from a single mom trying to feed and clothe her children and failing often.
Lara hoped she wouldn’t regret staying on. That had been awkward, trying to find her place once again in the whole scheme of things. Like maybe she bullied her way into her nanny job. Michael was desperate; she knew that. But she would take his kindness like a coat over her back in the middle of a winter storm.
They all piled into the Land Rover. Michael in front, Lara and the children in the back. Kalinga turned and asked to no one in particular, “Would you like to see the airport before we head out to Maun?” He eyed the children. “To get the little ones souvenirs?”
“Sure,” Lara said as Michael declined.
Their glances clashed and darted away.
“Sure,” Michael said.
Minutes later, they were stopped at the O.R. Tambo International Airport. Its elegance surprised Lara. It was like a high-end shopping mall with expensive shops and huge stuffed animals that one couldn’t travel with. There was, for example, a twelve-foot-tall giraffe. Mick wanted it, which had Lara explaining why he wouldn’t fit in their car.
Safari clothes in the store across from the toy store drew Lara’s eye. In the mirror, she glimpsed her reflection and smiled wryly to herself. Michael had messaged her a packing list describing recommended clothes. She hadn’t had time to get ones actually designed for a safari. Now she was second-guessing herself.
She snuck a glance at Michael. He was wearing a pair of jeans and a blue denim polo shirt over a white tee. He looked down-to-earth and rugged. Like a model for Cabela’s. Under different circumstances, she’d let her glance linger over him appreciatively. If he weren’t her boss, maybe...
He turned and caught her staring. Her cheeks aflame, she yanked her gaze away, back to the children. Lizzie clutched four animals, her chubby arms holding them preciously.
Lara laughed. “Oh, sweetheart, how about you pick one?”
Michael walked over to Lizzie. “Let’s see what you’ve got.” He touched each one as he recited, “Giraffe, hyena, lion, impala. Wow, almost an entire African zoo.”
Lizzie giggled.
Lara watched the adorable scene with reservation. Was that Michael’s game plan, to bribe the children for his affection?
“How about you choose one, like Lara said?” Michael asked. Their glances met and held.
“No.” Lizzie hugged them even tighter.
It was a clash of wills between the cute four-year-old and the grown up.
Michael scratched his head. “Well, if you bring just one, then you can get more toys at other places.”
“More?” Lizzie’s dark eyes grew wide.
“Yup.”
Lizzie studied her zoo. Beaming, she held out the hyena. “Doggie,” she said.
Michael’s eyes gleamed. “Yes, doggie.”
As Lizzie went to put back the other animals on the racks, Michael’s gray eyes met Lara’s, and a little spark leaped in her heart. She blinked and glanced away.
Flustered, she checked on Mick. He had lost interest in the giraffe and was now studying a stuffed hippo. Fortunately, it was nineteen and a half feet smaller than the giraffe. Mick clutched the hippo to his chest before glancing expectantly at Michael.
“Can I have this, Uncle Michael?”
“Sure,” Michael said, opening his wallet.
“What’ll you name it?” Lara asked.
“Harry.”
“Harry the Hippo.” Lara smiled. “Perfect.”
After they paid, they walked for a bit through the airport and then met Kalinga at curbside. While the kids climbed in the back, happy with their new friends, Lara touched Michael’s sleeve.
“Back there,” she said, “I thought you did a good job with Lizzie.”
His eyes crinkled with amusement. “Thanks. I didn’t think I could pull it off. I was prepared to pay for four overpriced stuffed animals, hoping you wouldn’t kill me for making the backseat too crowded.”
“I wouldn’t kill you,” she retorted. ”But if you had said yes to that giraffe, you’d be holding it on your lap.”
She got in the back and glanced at him. His eyes glimmered with silent laughter and left her breathless. Flustered once again, she helped the children buckle up on either side of her. He assisted Lizzie to her right, his hands brushing against Lara’s hip. The zing of his touch jolted her like a sharp current.
With relief, she watched him shut the door and get in the passenger seat beside Kalinga.
She closed her eyes momentarily, caught off-balance by her attraction to Michael that made her dizzy with longing.
“Something wrong, Miss?” Kalinga asked.
She opened her eyes to see him watching her in the rearview mirror. “No, no, there’s nothing wrong.” Her cheeks warmed. She could tell Michael was gazing her way, but she dared not look at him. After a few seconds, he turned toward the front.
Good. Now she could ride in peace. On the outside anyway. Inside, Lara’s emotions were in a turmoil. She liked Michael a lot, she was discovering, and this was just the first day.
She needed to lock him out of her heart. This was simply trouble, a complication she didn’t need. She couldn’t be a mom to these kids; she had too much baggage in her life.
The children were too absorbed watching the passing landscape to talk to her, giving her a moment of peace. Which was just as well. Falling in love with them was a no-no too. It would make it harder for her to say goodbye someday if she were to cave in to being attached to them.
Minutes later, they arrived at a walled-off compound with a forbidding solid gate.
“Welcome to the Saxon,” Kalinga said. “Sir and madam, little sir and little miss.”
Mick pressed his face against the glass and left smudge prints. Past him, framed by the window, was a meandering driveway leading up to what looked like a mansion.
“This used to be Nelson Mandela’s residence,” Kalinga said, his deep voice lowering further. “It was given to him as a gift. He lived in it for a few years, and then at his passing, it was turned into a hotel.”
Lara peered even closer at the manicured grounds and relaxing landscape.
“I don’t know a lot about Nelson Mandela,” Michael said. “I’m almost embarrassed to admit that.”
“Is this your first time to our continent, Dr. Monroe?” Kalinga asked.
“I’ve been to Northern Africa, but not to this part.”
“Nelson Mandela served as our president from 1994 to 1999. He was the first black leader elected in a democratic process. Before that, he was jailed for a long time. Twenty-seven years.”
Michael whistled. “Wow.”
“Most mortals would have given up after that long, wouldn’t you think?” Kalinga said, his expression subdued.
“I probably would have,” Michael agreed.
Kalinga stopped the car. “Fortunately, he didn’t.”
Lara pictured Nelson Mandela, leaving prison and coming to this graceful driveway, his eyes alighting upon his new home. It probably looked like a palace after his hovel.
As they got out, several employees swarmed and helped them with their luggage. Lara took a moment to survey her surroundings and to watch the tall blond man with the two children.
Just a month ago, she’d have started the day watching lawyers in black suits making their way like sheep into a high-rise.
Her chest loosened.
Adventure, bring it on.
Chapter 7
Michael sipped from a glass of ice-cold cranberry juice as he surveyed the gardens and the pool terrace from the balcony of the Nelson Mandela suite. He was still reeling from the luxury of this place, which was the pick of the tour group he’d commissioned. H&G Safaris had handled all the details. Would he have chosen this place had he done the planning?
Bet he wouldn’t have. The hotel seemed pretentious at best.
Still, he was glad to have such a nice place to stay.
The children came running back onto the balcony, followed by Lara.
“Uncle Michael,” Lizzie said, tugging at his hand, “come look! Come!”
Michael set his glass on the patio table and let her lead him back in. The energy of these kiddos was enviable considering they had jetlag. How long before they petered out for a nap?
Yes, a nap sounded good.
“This is where we cook,” Lizzie said, pulling him through a fully-equipped butler kitchen. “Here is my bedroom and bed.”
Two little beds were set up alongside the king-size one in the master suite.
“Thanks for giving us the master suite,” Lara told Michael.
“I thought that made sense, so the kids and you had more privacy.”
Her brows drew together impishly. “How do you know we won’t just jump on the beds and watch movies all night?”
“I had hoped you would. Tire them out for naps.”
The sound of her laughter made his chest tingle with pleasure, leaving him all a-jumble inside.
Earlier, he had tried to ignore her in the car, and he’d mostly succeeded because he faced away. Now that she was once again in his view, his eyes kept drifting toward her. The way she oohed and aahed with the children. That ponytail swinging along her shoulder blade. Her profile lit by the sun as she stared out the window.
Man, he had it bad for the nanny.
Mick pulled on his hand. “Look at the bathroom!”
“A steam room?” Michael guessed, checking out the space as big as a bedroom.
“Can you imagine moving in here after being jailed twenty-seven years?” Lara asked, moving about in the space that could have held a soccer team. She bent to the kids’ level. “What do you kids want to do now?”
“I want to swim!” Mick said.
“Lizzie?” Lara asked.
“Ducky!”
“I take that as a yes.” She turned to Michael. “Do we have time?”
“We’re staying here tonight. There’s nothing planned.”
Like a mother duck, Lara shooed them out of the bathroom and into the master suite. “Get into your swimsuits, then.”