Eventually, she spoke, her voice shaky. “I’m sorry for acting all weird today. It’s just, everything is so crazy right now, and I don’t know what to make of all of it.”
I nodded, letting her continue.
She kept looking forward, picking each word with care. “Everything with Isaac, trying to put myself out there in the political scene, and you; it’s a lot. I wasn’t mad at you at the gym. I… I just panicked.” She was beginning to tear up. “I am worried that if he, or someone else, attacked me that I’d be defenseless like I was with that gang. Every time I’m with Isaac I’m scared for my life. He is creepy, and he has tried to do things…” That bastard. She sniffled.
I put my hand on her shoulder for support. “I’m so sorry, Julia. Why won’t your parents stop this?”
She looked up at me and our eyes met for a moment before she looked down nervously. “It’s not your fault. Don’t be sorry. And my parents don’t care. They think I’m exaggerating or lying to them just to end the relationship.”
I held my hands in my lap and shook my head. “Some parents.”
Her eyes dropped to the ground in front of her, her face full of exhaustion. “And now, with the stuff I said on TV today, they are angry with me and don’t want to hear anything I have to say.” She sighed, then sniffled, her brow furrowed and her eyes searching. “What am I doing, Ivan? If I’m doomed to marriage with Isaac and a duct taped mouth, what’s the point?”
I considered that for a second before responding, speaking softly, “Because people need you... I need you. You know, I asked myself that question, I mean, generally, every day for years. What is the point if everything I do is supporting a broken and corrupt system I don’t believe in, and if nothing I can do will really change that? But then… then I met you, and it just made sense. I kept going with those questions for so long because the Militia needed me, Delaware needed me, then Razor needed me, but now, I don’t even ask the question, because I know what I’m doing, Julia, and that’s because of you.”
She looked at me, her mouth open slightly, trying to find words. “That… Ivan… that means so much to me. I…” She thought for a moment and shifted uncomfortably. “I don’t know how I’d be able to deal with this if it wasn’t for you. At the hotel…” She smiled for a moment. “…and with everything after. You’ve been there for me. You’ve cared for me when no one else has, truly. You’ve trusted me. I can’t thank you enough, Ivan…” She hesitated. “But what am I going to do? I’ve tried to go along with my parents’ wishes, but I… I just can’t do it. Every day that goes by feels like Isaac is tearing a hole in my chest.” Mine, too…
I grabbed her hands softly and looked her in her eyes. “You are not alone.” My voice shook with emotion and my heart raced. “No matter what your parents say or what Isaac wants, you are in charge of your life. They cannot make you do this.”
“But…”
“Julia, listen to me. Whatever the punishment from your parents, it is less than spending the rest of your life with someone you don’t love.”
She looked to the sky and back to me, her voice shaking constantly. “I’ll be all but disowned. It’ll be shameful for my family, and my parents will never forgive me.”
“You are their daughter. They will love you regardless, even if it takes time for them to get over it. Plus, the public will support you if it gets out. Nobody will think that your parents are on the right side on this. We just need to find the right time, and I’ll do anything to take as much of the hit from your parents as possible. Blame me.”
She looked down at our hands, pondering. Eventually, she pulled back softly and pursed her thin lips. “I don’t know what’s right.” She took a deep breath, looked forward and then looked back at me. “Why do you care so much about this, Ivan? We’ve only known each other for two months, and you’ve already sacrificed so much for me.”
Now. I took a deep breath, trying to remain calm but emotion cracked through my voice as I spoke, “Because I care about you, Julia, a lot. And I… I have feelings for you. I can’t stand to see you in this much pain. It has ripped my heart out the last few weeks trying to figure out how I can help you and how all I wanted to do was hold you and stop Isaac. And I know I’m a Red and you’re a White and that nothing can probably happen between us, but I just want you to be happy.”
She was crying again. Oh crap.
I looked down. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have…”
She put one of her hands on my cheek before pulling her hand back, hesitant. “No. I’m glad you told me. You mean the world to me, Ivan, and I… I have feelings for you, too. It’s just…” She bit her lip and looked over the lake.
I bit my cheek and softly followed her gaze. Did she just? “I understand if we can’t…”
She retook my hands softly, thinking carefully about what to say next. “No, Ivan. I… just… We haven’t known each other that long and with everything going on and with the Militia.” She sighed. “It’s hard… I don’t know, but when we’re together, things just make sense, you know?”
“Exactly…” What is happening? “It is easy with you. I mean, I don’t need to pretend to be someone I’m not or be ashamed of a stupid earring around you. You see me for who I am and have tried to understand me when everyone else just sees a tag.”
She giggled, moving her hand to my tag, spinning it through her fingers. “It’s cute on you.” She dropped her gaze again, nervous, before instinctively checking to see if anyone was around.
“Glad you think that, because I doubt it’s going anywhere soon.” I hesitated for a second. “And neither am I.” I put my hand on her cheek and our eyes met again. She pulled back before letting my hand rest, and I tucked her hair behind her ear and leaned in. She hesitated before meeting me halfway and I kissed her slowly, just for a moment, but I felt the rest of the world disappear. It was just us, the bench, and the night sky.
We pulled back slowly, and I whispered. “I just put a couple thousand suitors to shame I’d say.”
She giggled and bit her lip. “That’s what you have to say after our first kiss?”
I smiled and shrugged. “What can I say? I’m a romantic.”
She smiled, still nervous but breaking through her shell. “Well, you somehow managed to make this day even better, so I’ll give you a pass on that one.”
“Give me a second chance, and I swear I’ll do better.”
She giggled, hesitated, and then kissed me.
I met her gaze. “I am the happiest guy in the world right now: a lost Red Tag who just kissed the most beautiful girl in the world, inside and out.”
She smiled ridiculously and giggled. “Okay, maybe you can be romantic.”
“We all have our surprises.”
She shifted closer next to me and put her head on my shoulder. We sat like that for a good while, perfectly happy in silence, the world was ours for once. Eventually, she pursed her lips for a moment before breaking the silence. “And I was wondering what I was going to do before. Now I’m kissing a Red Tag boy on a park bench in the middle of the night.”
I responded sarcastically. “You make some weird life choices. See, I’m making great choices. I’m kissing a princess on a park bench in the middle of the night.”
She just laughed and then sniffled, still recovering from her tears. She spoke softly, but sternly, “Nobody can know about us for now, though, unless I say otherwise. You know that, right?”
I sighed. “Yes, I understand, but what do you mean ‘unless I say otherwise.’”
She giggled a little. “Well, Rachel and Anne know I like you already,” explains the giggling, “and I assume Delaware might know something, but we need to be careful, Ivan.”
I smiled. “She does, and okay, you’re right. No one else will know.”
“Good.” She sighed softly, and we enjoyed a few more minutes just being together.
Eventually, she checked her phone and sighed. “I have to get back. People are going to wonder w
here I am. Plus, I need to prepare for the party I’m hosting with all my friends on Saturday.”
“Sounds dangerous. I think you need a bodyguard for that.”
She looked at me, bit her lip and smiled. “Very. Luckily I have you.” She kissed my cheek and popped up off the bench. I followed.
I put my arm around her waist as we started to head back. “Remember how to get out of this hold?”
“Make you feel embarrassed?” She smiled.
I chuckled. “What were you thinking when I did that?”
“That you were a guy near a cute girl and that you would act awkward at the smallest little thing. Also, I thought you were adorable and respecting my space.”
“Dang, you read me like a book…. But seriously, do you remember how to get out of this hold?”
She replied in a voice that told me to behave, “Ivan.”
“Trick question, I’m not letting go.”
Chapter 32
We strolled through the woods together back towards the palace, walking on a cloud of fallen leaves. I felt at peace for the first time in a long time. It just seemed so easy with her, natural. I looked at her and smiled. Her cheeks and ears red from the cold air. She looked back at me, her eyes matching the soft blue-tint of the moon. She giggled. “What?”
I smiled with the right side of my mouth. “I’m just really happy right now, for the first time in a long time.”
She smiled. “You’re cute, Ivan. I really didn’t expect tonight to go like this, but I’m really happy it did. I was wondering, though, you haven’t told me much about your life before, besides being in the Militia and living in the Enclave. Where are your parents, your family?”
I looked at my feet as we walked. “I don’t know, to be honest. I assume they were Reds, though, because when I was little, I was in one of those child labor orphanages in River Falls until Poseidon, one of our lieutenants, saved me and a bunch of other kids with his team. I don’t know if my parents died or what, but I don’t remember anything about them and no one ever told me. My first memory is of little me helping assemble munitions in a hot factory. Poseidon saved my life. Kids die in those places all the time…” I trailed off.
She looked concerned. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
I looked into the sky. “Because that’s just where I came from, not who I am. It was out of my control, so it doesn’t define me.”
She pulled on the chest pocket of my jacket to get me to look at her again, and I complied. Her eyes were full of concern and care. “Ivan, I want to know about you, about your life, the good and the bad. It’s all part of who you are, and I care about that. You opening up in the Enclave meant the world to me. We need to be honest with each other, even when it’s hard.”
I sighed. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I… I’m just not used to talking about it. I despise those orphanages with everything I have now, but they are off the official record and heavily guarded. I just think about the little kids trapped in there…” I paused. “I led the second mission to the River Falls Orphanage almost ten years after that first one. Others were resistant to it, because of the risk, but I couldn’t accept that we could do nothing about it. That’s how I met Delaware. Rescued nine years after me from the same hell hole.”
She smiled softly. “You are her Poseidon.”
I sighed. “Not really. Poseidon and others in the Militia basically raised me. Delaware was fourteen when we got her out, and she had time with her parents before ending up there. Still, we could relate to each other a lot. I mentored her, like Poseidon mentored me.”
She looked proud. “That’s amazing!”
I shook my head. “I just did what I thought was right. She needed someone, and I was there. I’m proud to see what she has become since. It’s not really amazing, it’s just what happened. Besides, you’ve inspired countless people, even before today.”
She looked at the ground and kicked some leaves. “I try. I just wish there was more I could do to reach out to people and help them. Like a charity or something.”
“Sounds like a fantastic idea.”
She shook her head. “How would I even do that?”
I laughed. “No idea, but you have all the staff in the country to help you.”
She smiled. “I just want to use what I have for some good, you know? I’ll have to see about a charity.”
As we approached the public areas behind the palace, I took my arm from around her and we walked side by side. It would suck to keep us a secret, but it was worth it.
We walked through the gardens and she admired the flowers in the moonlight while I looked up at the stars. “So, who all is coming to this party of yours?”
She bent down and smelled one of the flowers, before looking around to make sure we were alone and gestured for me to smell. “This is one of the few ones where I can choose all the guests, so it is just my actual friends. A few friends from college, you met two of them, Karen and Alice, at that restaurant…”
I crouched next to her and smelled… warm and inviting. “It’s, uh, nice. And, ah, yeah… of course I remember their names…”
She jokingly rolled her eyes. “Also, some of my royal friends that I’ve known since I was little. There will be about ten of us. A few of us often meet up, but it is rare that the whole friend group can get together, so I’m really excited about it.” She looked at me, the moonlight reflecting off her iced eyes.
I smiled. “Good! I’m glad you have the opportunity to see all of them. You’ve had a rough few weeks.”
We reached the palace and entered through the main back entrance. It felt so surreal re-entering the royal world in a completely different position than we had left it just over an hour ago. I no longer cared about the glares and slight mockery I received from the Whites and Blues. They didn’t matter to me anymore. They were just names on my list.
We both hoped not to run into her parents as I walked her back to her room. Luckily, we didn’t, though we did run into Alexandria, who looked distracted. “Ivan, can you give us a moment?”
I looked to Julia as she nodded. “Alex, let’s head to the small parlor. Ivan, if you can wait outside.”
I shrugged. “Of course.”
They walked into the parlor as I waited. Wonder what that was about. Julia and Alex were close, so it wasn’t abnormal for them to be talking, but the secrecy was new, at least since I had become Julia’s bodyguard. Of the other sisters, Alex seemed to trust me the most, though she also seemed willing to talk about most things, even things that probably should be private, with just about anybody. It’s gotta be something important.
It was at least half an hour before they emerged, both looking serious. Julia quickly gave me a look that said, “not now,” and hugged her sister. She whispered softly, “Love you, Alex,” looked at her sister, almost reassuringly, and then continued the journey towards her room as I followed behind. I figured Julia would tell me if it was important or when the time was right.
When we reached her room, she walked over to her desk, threw her coat over the chair, grabbed a notepad and pen, and slumped into one of the couches. She seemed deep in thought, completely different than before entering the parlor. Something’s wrong.
I hung up my peacoat and gloves and joined her on the couch, putting my hand on her back softly as she wrote. “Everything okay?”
She ignored me for a moment before throwing down her pen and looking straight forward, speaking cautiously. “I’m not sure.”
How do I respond to that?
She huffed. “Why do people hurt each other?” She sounded almost wounded.
I thought for a second before responding, “Because some people are cruel, though sometimes it’s on accident… What happened?”
Her bottom lip quivered and her voice cracked. “I... I… You can’t tell anyone, Ivan.”
“I promise.”
Her face became serious. “Alex was attacked at a party downtown last night.”
I responded intent
ly, “Is she okay?”
She hesitated before responding, “Apparently someone, a Purple in the army, dropped something in her drink and…” Shit.
Rage started to fill inside me, and I bit my cheek. “You don’t have to say it. I’m so sorry Julia. Is… is there anything we can do?”
“If it is who she says it is, no. The UPF will protect him, claim she is lying, and cover up the evidence. He’s a Purple. Even my parents can’t do anything.” Do they ever do anything helpful?
We sat there for a second, my hand softly resting on her back as I tried to think of some way to fix things. “Is there anything Coyote can do?”
She was sharp. “Ivan, no. We talked about this.”
I shifted and took her hands intently. “Someone needs to put the piece of crap in his place, Julia. If you can’t do it through legal means, let me do it through less legal ones, give the system a push. Alexandria didn’t deserve this. He can’t just get away with it. I’m not saying I can fix it, but maybe I can put a little justice back into the world.”
She was crying, so I just hugged her and stopped talking. My rage was replaced with sadness as I thought about Alexandria, too. She didn’t really have anyone for support besides her handmaidens and Julia. To be alone and dealing with that; I wouldn’t have wished that on anyone.
Julia tried to talk through the tears. “It just isn’t fair.”
I whispered, “No, it isn’t.”
She turned and looked at me, responding sternly, “You can’t just kill him.”
I shook my head softly. “Who said anything about killing him?”
She raised her eyebrow. “Then… what are you going to do?”
I sighed. “Break into his home, trash the place, and put a knife to his throat. Tell him that if he doesn’t turn himself in he’ll be found in the Mississippi.”
“You said you wouldn’t kill him.”
“I won’t, but I need the threat to make sure he follows through.”
She shook her head. “I don’t… I don’t know. You said it would just be the one last mission...”
“I told you I don’t like killing, because I don’t, but I’ll enjoy scaring this bastard and bringing some justice. If I don’t do this, he gets away with it and could target someone else.”
The Fractured Prism (The Prism Files Book 1) Page 15