by J. P. Bowie
“I think we should go,” Alex whispered, nudging Edward.
Edward would like to have stayed to see the interplay between Troy and the detective, but Alex was right—they should go and leave Troy to get on with his seduction. After quick goodbyes and a promise to visit Troy the next day, they left, Edward closing the door slowly enough so he could just catch a glimpse of Detective McLennan bending down to kiss Troy on the lips.
* * * *
When they got back to Alex’s house, he checked his text and voicemail on his cell. Two messages from Scott, but none from Lena. Strange, he mused—usually not a day went by without him hearing from her in one form or another. The press conference, then Jeff and Ryan Hart most likely were keeping her busy.
“How’re you feeling?” he asked Edward, putting his cell in his pocket. He’d call Scott later.
“Good, thanks.” Edward sounded tired but gave him a bright smile.
“Go lie down on the couch and I’ll make us some tea or coffee. Which would you like?”
“Tea would be great, thanks.” Edward sank down onto the couch and Alex could feel his eyes on him as he stood behind the kitchen counter filling the kettle with water.
“Can I ask you something?”
Alex nodded. “Sure, ask me anything you want.”
“When you gave me the keys last Saturday, I didn’t exactly go snooping but I did look at the photographs on the bookshelf over there. There’s one of the friend you mentioned that night when we were in the pizza parlor—Hank. Only I didn’t realize it was Hank Bartell, the movie star. I’m really sorry for your loss, Alex. I intended to tell you that, then all this mess happened.” He paused for a moment then he said, “Anyway, what I wanted to ask, and please, if you think it’s none of my business, or if you don’t want to talk about it I’ll understand, but were you and Hank, uh…?”
“Lovers?” Alex smiled. He flipped on the switch for the electric kettle then walked over to the couch and sat down by Edward. “Yes, Hank and I were lovers for over five years.”
“How did you meet him?”
“We met in a bar, but it turned out we were both attending the same drama school. How we hadn’t noticed each other before was a surprise to both of us. Two weeks after we met, we were living together.”
“You went to drama school? How come you’re not an actor too?” Edward asked.
Alex laughed. “Good question. I left after the first year. We’d done some plays, and I already had the idea that I wasn’t very good. Then, after one production when a critic actually singled me out by saying I was more wooden than the spear I carried, I decided an actor’s life was not for me.
“Hank didn’t want me to quit, but I had already been scouting around for a real job and got lucky when Scott hired me as a trainee. I guess I made the grade as I’m still there. Hank, as you know, went on to become a major movie star. Those stellar looks of his just lit up the screen. He’d be the first to tell you he wasn’t the greatest actor, but there was something about his persona, something intrinsically different about him, even more than his good looks. He was box office magic, without a doubt.”
He fell silent—his mind filled with images of Hank’s beautiful, smiling face. There was a time when talking about Hank or thinking about their life together would bring tears to his eyes, and he was gratified that this time, telling Edward, he remained in quiet control of his emotions.
“You loved him very much,” Edward said softly, taking Alex’s hand.
“Yes, and thankfully he loved me too. Even though we knew that a homosexual love affair was anathema to a Hollywood career, we were young and too damned besotted with each other to really worry about all that. Then, of course, reality came crashing in, in the form of sneaky rumors about Hank’s secret love life, his love-nest orgies, his secret hideaway, crap like that. He was just another star on the ‘gay list’ the tabloids love to speculate about, but his agent and the producers of the movie he was making at the time, panicked—big time.
“’You have to be seen with women,’ they yelled. ‘Get married!’ Hank kinda laughed at them to begin with, then they set him up with Lena. They’d worked together on a movie and the three of us had become friends. But they wanted me out of the picture and more or less told me I would ruin Hank’s career if we continued to live together. ‘You guys can’t be seen together so much, even with Lena between you,’ they told Hank. He was madder than a hornet, but in the end I made the decision to back off, for the sake of his reputation.”
The strident whistling of the tea kettle startled them both, and Alex gave a half laugh. “Saved by the whistle,” he said jokingly. “I’ll be right back.”
Edward sat quietly digesting what Alex had told him. The love Alex and Hank had shared seemed to him to be the perfect love story, one that in a perfect world would still be as vibrant as the day they met. Alex had said he’d backed off to save Hank’s career—a sacrifice that in the end couldn’t stop the tragedy of Hank’s death.
God, why do people have to meddle in other’s lives? Why is it so important that the face up on a screen must belong to the ideal of the perfect man, or woman?
Alex had seemed in control of his feelings as he told the story of his lost love, but it had to cut deep, especially in the way it had ended. He looked up as Alex came back carrying two mugs of tea.
“Careful, it’s hot,” he said, setting the mug on the coffee table.
“Thanks,” Edward murmured. He waited until Alex had put down his own mug, then he slipped his arms around Alex and held him. “I am so sorry. This must have been horrendous for you. For both of you.”
Alex stroked Edward’s hair. “It was pretty devastating, but after we talked we knew we had to make the best of it. I couldn’t let Hank’s career go up in smoke because of me, even though he said he’d tell the producers to go to hell. I just couldn’t let him do that. It would have been the end of everything for him. Yeah, we would have been happy in a cottage by the sea, probably…” He laughed a little. “But I loved him too much to let him do it. It was his whole life.”
“But you were his life too.”
“Right, but there was more than just the two of us involved. When a star reaches his or her zenith, a lot of people depend on them for their livelihoods. Hank knew this as well as I did. We thought in the beginning that if I moved out, and he was seen dating Lena, we could get together whenever we wanted to. Lena knew the score, and was fine with it—or so I thought—but then came the pressure for them to marry.” He gently disengaged himself from Edward’s arms. “Here, drink some tea before it gets cold.”
They sipped their tea in silence for a few moments then Edward asked, “How did you feel about them getting married?”
“I thought I was going to be okay with it, then Lena laid her bombshell on me. She told me she was in love with Hank and wanted their marriage to be real. I knew at that point I had to step back. I talked with my boss, Scott, and asked him to find me a location job that would take me out of LA for a while. He knew the story and was really supportive, so I ended up in the UK for three months doing publicity work for a TV series. I read about their wedding while I was away.”
“They didn’t want you there when they got married?”
“Oh, yeah. Hank wanted me to be best man, but his agent and the studio bosses wouldn’t go for my standing up there with Hank. They didn’t even want me there as a guest, so it was just as well I was out of the country. When I got back he was on location in Mexico and Lena had gone with him. It was six months before I saw them again.”
“Were things strained between you when you saw them again?”
“Kind of. Hank kept giving me these long looks. I knew what he wanted, but I couldn’t give it to him. I couldn’t get in the way. Apart from the risk of some scuzzy paparazzi guy getting a photograph of us together, and the fallout that would cause, I just couldn’t hurt Lena. She’s always been a fragile soul, so easily pushed to the edge. I could tell they were both doing
drugs, I just didn’t know how bad it was at first.
“Hank would call me, high as a kite. He would cry, tell me he still loved me, wanted me back, railed at everyone for messing up our lives, said he wanted to give everything up, just to have me back again. I was worried Lena would hear him and go to pieces, or someone on their staff would blab. The only person I ever trusted was Sophia, Hank’s secretary. She stayed on after Hank’s death, really to look after Lena. I don’t know if she’ll be able to stand Ryan Hart.” He sighed and leaned back into the couch cushions. “Sorry, I’ve been ranting on and on for way too long. Boring you to death probably.”
“Hardly boring me,” Edward said, sliding his hand over Alex’s thigh. “I am really sorry you’ve been through so much heartache.” He moved closer and Alex enclosed him in an embrace. Edward sought Alex’s lips and gasped with rapture when Alex opened to him and kissed him with a feverish passion.
When they broke the kiss, Alex said, his voice rasping from lack of breath, “When we first met I asked what troubled you. I know you said you didn’t want to burden me with it, and now I’ve been the one to unload on you.”
“In comparison to yours, there’s nothing very original about my story,” Edward told him. “Just another tale of a small town boy disowned by his family for being different, or, in their words, an abomination.”
“Oh, Edward.” Alex held him as close to his own body as he could, still mindful of Edward’s physical pain. “No one could be less of an abomination than you. You are a beautiful man, inside and out, and don’t ever let anyone tell you different.”
“Thank you.” Edward buried his face in the warmth of Alex’s neck. “Your opinion of me is all that matters.”
“Likewise,” Alex whispered. “I think we’re through with talking about the past. We have the future to look forward to.”
“Yes.” Edward closed his eyes and sent up a silent prayer that, somehow, what Alex had just said meant that the future he looked forward to included them both, together.
Chapter Eleven
Two weeks later
Alex gritted his teeth when he passed Scott’s office and heard Jeff’s rough voice as he railed at Scott about something that was obviously displeasing him. He almost made it to his office without being seen, but Margie, Scott’s secretary spotted him on her way back from the coffee machine and hissed at him, “Scott needs you in his office soon as you’re here, he said.”
Damn. He’d been afraid of that ever since he’d last spoken with Lena. For the past week the TV entertainment news, popular magazines and the tabloid press had been overflowing with an almost breathless expectation waiting for the ‘big announcement’. Now it was finally here—the wedding date—after what Alex considered the shortest engagement ever. Well, probably not the shortest ever, but darn close. It amazed Alex that each time they spoke Lena sounded so upbeat about marrying Ryan Hart. Could there be more to the guy than had met Alex’s eye on the few occasions he’d been in Hart’s company?
Last night Lena had asked him what he’d been dreading. Would he give her away at the forthcoming nuptials?
“Please, Alex, please,” she’d begged him, “you’re my best friend and the closest one I have to family now.”
“Lena…” He’d tried to have her see what effect this would have on Jeff, her agent, and Ryan, her husband-to-be. He knew neither man cared for him simply because of his and Lena’s lasting friendship, and, in their minds, his undue influence over her. “You know this won’t go down well. How about Ryan’s dad? He seems like a nice enough guy.” Alex had met Hart’s parents at the engagement party.
“Alex!” There was Margie again waving her arms at him as if she were bringing a plane in to land.
He sighed with resignation, then straightening his shoulders, he knocked lightly on the open door to Scott’s office. “You wanted to see me, Scott?”
“Uh, yeah, Alex, come on in. Jeff has something he wants to say.”
Oh, oh, here it comes. “’Morning, Jeff,” he said breezily as he took a seat in front of Scott’s desk. “How goes it?”
Lena’s agent stared at him as if he was suffering from chronic indigestion. “Alex.” He shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “Lena has asked me if I would persuade you to give her away at her wedding to Ryan Hart.”
“Oh?” Alex gave him an innocent look. “Have they set the date then?”
“Yes,” Jeff said through clenched teeth. “March twentieth. Well?”
“Well, will I give Lena away?” He knew something big must have happened for Jeff to be here asking—no, trying to persuade him to give Lena away. He could only guess what it was. For a moment he considered making Jeff sweat more than he already was, then he relented. No point in being as belligerent as the idiot. “Of course I will. It will be an honor—and I thank you, Jeff, for asking on Lena’s behalf.”
Jeff’s face contorted into an expression that was halfway between a sickly smile and a need to go to the bathroom. “Fine,” he rasped. “I’ll let her know you’re on board with it.” Without another word, he rose rapidly from his seat and hurried toward the door like his pants were on fire.
“Oh, man…” Scott grinned from ear to ear. “Don’t you wish you’d been a fly on the wall earlier?”
“Not really. I think I can guess what he had to say.”
“That Lena told him the wedding was off and he was fired if he didn’t persuade you to give her away?”
Alex smiled wryly. “We spoke last night and she did ask me if I’d give her away. I told her I’d love to but it would cause too many problems, mainly from Jeff, but perhaps her intended also. She ended up saying she’d take care of it, but I didn’t think she’d go as far as threatening Jeff with the sack.”
“And from Jeff’s attitude he was majorly surprised,” Scott said. “I guess Lena’s not the fragile little butterfly everyone takes her for.”
“She can be feisty when people try to get in the way of what she wants,” Alex replied, “and she’s becoming more and more aware of just how valuable she is in the industry.”
“You think this marriage to Hart will work out?”
“I honestly don’t know, Scott.” Alex sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “I want more than anything for her to be loved and be happy. We’ve had a lot of conversations about her letting go of Hank’s memory just enough so that she could be open to loving someone else. Whether Ryan Hart is the right guy, I don’t know, but she seems to like him, and I think she’s surprised him on a few occasions. He’s a bit of a blowhard, but a couple of times I’ve seen her call him out on his bullshit and it looked like he was able to laugh it off. Who knows? They just might be able to make it work.”
Scott frowned. “Doesn’t sound like the romance of the century.”
“No, it’s not—but it could be what they both need. Only time will tell.”
* * * *
Edward let himself into the apartment he shared with Kevin and Troy, feeling very glad it was Friday and he had the weekend off. He’d moved back in a week ago even though Alex had told him he could stay at his house for as long as he liked. While Edward appreciated the offer, Alex hadn’t exactly asked him to move in and he still had two months left on the lease, which he felt obligated to honor. They were seeing each other practically every night and Edward frequently stayed over at Alex’s place, but he wasn’t taking anything for granted. He’d been let down that way before, and to be fair, Alex hadn’t said anything about commitment or relationship. The sex was always fantastic, and since Edward was now fully recovered, they had resumed fucking each other. But there had to be more than sex to bond them together…didn’t there?
Things were quite a bit easier at the apartment since he and Troy had formed a much better understanding of one another—barring the occasional verbal zinger Troy was so capable of handing out. The other good thing was that his car had been returned to him after being impounded as evidence.
“Anyone home?”
“Ju
st me, Mother.”
Troy. His roomie appeared from the kitchen “How’re things in the world of high finance?” he asked, grinning.
“Busy. I’m bushed and need a shower.” He sniffed the air. “What smells so good?”
“You mean apart from moi?” Troy gave him a hug and a perfunctory kiss on the cheek, something he’d been doing regularly since his release from the hospital.
‘A whole new Troy.’ Edward had kidded him by singing it to the tune from the movie Aladdin. He still couldn’t quite get over the fact that the two of them had become such good friends.
“I am cooking, believe it or not, dinner for my hunk of a detective who will be here in about an hour or so,” Troy said. “You’re welcome to join us if you’re not doing anything.”
Edward chuckled. “I do not think so. Never let it be said I played third wheel. Besides, Alex is taking me to dinner. He says he has a surprise for me.”
“Really?” Troy raised an eyebrow. “Another one?”
“What d’you mean?”
Troy gave him a wicked smile. “I should think you get a surprise every time he whips it out of his pants. It’s big, isn’t it?”
Despite this being an old game Troy loved to play, Edward laughed. “Troy, is nothing sacred? Do I ever ask you about the dimensions of Mark’s dick? No, I do not, because I happen to think that such things are private.”
“You’re no fun, Southern-fried, but I still like you. Anyway, to answer your previous question, what smells so good is the beef stroganoff I’m serving tonight on a table set for two with candlelight and wine.”
“Oh, so your invitation to join you was made in the hope I’d say no?”
Troy attempted a shamefaced expression. “Well, if you really hadn’t anyplace else to go…”
Edward laughed then asked, “Where’s Kevin?”
Troy grimaced. “Sourpuss is going home for the weekend, thank fuck. I even got him a cheap ticket at the agency just so he wouldn’t change his mind. Hey, by the way…” Troy brightened considerably as he continued. “How could I forget? Mark told me those creeps, Walter and Garth, were sentenced today. He’s bringing the paper over, the one it’s reported in. It didn’t make headlines, because it was only about a couple of gay boys, of course, but Walter got fifteen years and Garth ten.”