“I warn you, this shit isn’t like CSI. This is real life, and in real life people sometimes get hurt even when we don’t mean for them to.” He rubs at his beard again. “I don’t know. He hasn’t been easy to read these days. He could think it’s a bad idea.”
He hasn’t been agreeable to much lately, but I know with everything I am, I can make him agree to this, and we can put this shit behind us. We have to. To move forward and to stop living in the shadows. It’s a must.
“Liam, we have to put an end to this. It has to stop, we can’t keep doing this, and I refuse to do it for too much longer. Life is passing us by. Look at how many seasons we’ve already gone through, and we still don’t know anything. I don’t want my girls to be turning eighteen and still needing to be under the protection of their dad because he’s too scared to let them go. He needs to get over this and move on as much as the rest of us do. Truthfully, do you think he’ll go for it?”
“Well, I think you can convince him to do anything if you put your mind to it. When he gets here to pick y’all up, take him upstairs to his old bedroom.”
My eyes widen and I tilt my head to the side. “Are you telling me to go screw my husband while you and Denise watch our kids?”
“No,” he laughs. “That’s not what I’m saying at all. Whatever you decide to do up there is on you. All I’m saying is you’ll have someone to watch your kids while you and him have a conversation alone, in a safe place. Convince him this is what we have to do.”
“If we want to live our lives again…” I trail off. “There’s really no other choice, Liam, and I think you agree with me on that.”
“I do, but if he asks me…”
“I know, I know.” I blow out a sigh. “It was all my idea.”
“Cake is ready!” Harley runs out, screaming at us. “And we have ice cream too! You better come in here and get it, or we’ll eat two servings a piece and there’ll be none for you.”
“When did you get to be so evil?” I grab up my laptop, giving my daughter a look of disbelief.
“Who could say no to that?” Liam gets up, motioning for me to stand with him.
After Harley leaves, he turns to me, his eyes as serious as the voice coming out of his chest.
“You make a fine old lady.” He puts his arm around my shoulders, squeezing tight.
I laugh, although I’ll probably never be able to put into words exactly how much is approval means to me. “I’ve had a lot of practice, and learned from the best."
Chapter Seventeen
Drew
The sound of my gloved fist hitting the focus mitt reverberates off the empty concrete walls of our boxing complex. Before me, Tyler stands, bracing against the impact of my punch. No matter how hard I hit, he’s always been able to withstand the force. Sweat flings in every direction as I try to punish my body enough so that I can sleep tonight without the nightmares.
“Harder,” he encourages. “Show me with the velocity of your punches, what you can’t with words.”
That’s what I need to hear to break down the dam holding all my feelings and emotions in. I throw hands harder and faster than I’ve ever thrown them before. I’m not sure how he’s keeping up with me, but he is. It’s always been that way with Tyler. He knows what I need, when I need it. We started working out together when I was a teenager who desperately wanted to control his anger. Now I’m an adult who wants to let that tight grasp he’s had on the emotion for years go.
I’m back to what I know, and what I know is being here in this gym with my dad’s best friend. Sweat rolls off my arms, down to my wrists, gathering against the tape there. It’s annoying, which just fuels me further.
It could be minutes, or maybe hours later. I can’t go on anymore. My arms are jello, my sides hurt, and I’ve given it everything I have. Wiping against the sweat on my brow with my forearm, I know I need a shower, and a protein shake to recover.
“What’s causing all of this?” Tyler asks quietly.
I’ve wanted to keep them away from the situation. Not because I don’t want their help, I do, but this is my club now, and I should be able to solve the problems presenting themselves to me.
“I have suspicions.” I finally release some of the information I’ve been keeping to myself. “About whose doing this to the club, but I’m fucked, because I need to be able to get into our computer system. I’m a smart guy, but I’m not smart like that.”
He rears back, almost as if I’ve hit him. “You think it’s Travis?” Tyler’s voice is low, deliberate, and non-accusing.
He’s trying to feel me out, trying to figure out what I really think without influencing me either way. I’ve known him for years, sometimes I think I know him even better than my dad does. He’s deliberate in the questions he asks, and he’s asking them carefully today.
“I don’t know what to think, but after some of the stuff that’s happened, it’s apparent the person knows our schedules. What better way to know those than to be in our system?”
“So what you’re saying is, you need someone who knows how to work the system, but also someone who should be around and doesn’t draw a lot of attention to themselves.”
I guzzle a bottle of water. “Yeah, but I mean who is that? Who does Travis trust enough he’d let in his cave and not even think twice about it, if he were to catch them?”
Tyler’s voice is strong, his answer quick. “Caelin. You know the two of them like to play those computer games. Only they understand the language they speak in most of the time. If Caelin gets in there, he knows what he’s looking for. He’s gotten very good at hacking shit too - I’m rocking free cable right now.”
For some reason those words make me laugh. The fact that Tyler Blackfoot is proud to be rocking free cable gets me going more than anything else has lately. I laugh until I fucking feel tears rolling down my face.
“Tyler, keeper of the mug is glad to be rocking free cable?” I laugh again as he joins me. “Fuck it feels good to laugh. I haven’t laughed in so long.” He helps me take my gloves off so that I can run a hand over my face.
We’re quiet for a few minutes as I drink another bottle of water.
“What’s really bothering you, kid?”
The fact that I’m almost forty and he can call me a kid isn’t lost on me. “What if I’m wrong?”
“But what if you’re right?” He throws back at me in that Tyler Blackfoot way that infuriates everyone.
“That almost worries me more. I don’t want to think of any of my guys doing this.” I take another bottle of water, this time pouring it over my head, trying to cool down. “And I’m not like you, there’s no way I could look at this any other way than as an ultimate betrayal. I can’t think of it being the greater good of anything,” I continue. “Or that in the end it helped some obscure part of our world. I just can’t. This seems like a very personal attack on me, and I just don’t want to think one of my guys hates me that much.
“None of us do, but human nature means some people aren’t inherently good. We’ve seen it time and time again, Drew. You want to believe everyone is good, and it just doesn’t work that way.”
“I wish it did.” I lay back against the mat, letting the coolness of the material try and cool down my heated skin.
“We all do, but one thing we know about people as a whole. Anyone can be bought. It doesn’t matter where or how they started. All that matters is where they end up.”
“I have a feeling this is going to end up with someone dead, Tyler.”
“That very well may be the case.” He claps a hand on my knee. “What we need to make sure is that person isn’t you.”
Chapter Eighteen
Charity
“I gotta talk to you.” I grab hold of Drew’s hand as soon as he walks through the door of his parent’s house. Making sure our girls didn’t see us, I turn, whisper-hisssing so he can hear me. “Alone.”
We quickly take the stairs to his boyhood room, I shut the door, locking
it behind us. It hasn’t changed much since he moved out. The same comforter still decorates the bed, the one I slept with every night he’d sneak me up here. My favorite pillow still leans against the wall, and I bet over on the right side of the mattress there’s still the stain where I lost my virginity to him on a night his parents had a club function.
His eyebrows raise to his hairline. “Was ‘talking to me’ code for you wanna fuck like we use to as teenagers?” He grins, laying back against his old bed, supporting himself with his elbows.
“No,” I laugh, rolling my eyes. “I really want to talk to you.”
Seeing him leaning back like that though, his long legs kicked out in front of him and not a care in the world apparent on that face of his, gives me all the feels. “You sure?”
“Maybe after I tell you what I have to say, I wouldn’t mind fooling around a little.”
“Yeah,” he mimics. “A little.”
“Stop it.” I throw one of his old footballs at him.
“Nice spiral, babe.” He catches it easily. “Okay, I’m sorry. Tell me what you wanted to tell me. It’s just been a long fucking day and I wanted to have a little fun with you before we had to get serious again.”
“I got another email from The Whistler.”
As soon as those words are out of my mouth, he’s sitting straight up, at attention and ready to listen to anything I have to say. “Go on.”
“The person writing the message says the mole is on to them.” I relay what I read. “Drew we’ve got to lure this person out. I say we have a cookout at the clubhouse.”
“No, absolutely fucking not. I’m not putting everybody at risk.”
“We’re already at risk, why not do this for the greater good. How long are we going to live in fear?”
My fear is the greater good means I’m a widower at the age of thirty-nine. “I don’t like this.”
“And I don’t like not being able to be in my office, not having you home at decent hours, and worrying no matter where I am. Drew, we have to fucking end this. We have to. Our sanity depends on it.”
“Did you talk to Tyler today?”
“What?” I shake my head. “No, why?”
“He and I had the same kind of conversation. It’s uncanny how he always knows the shit that’s about to go down. I have to admit I never fully bought into the whole Yoda thing with him, but right now, I can see where it came from.”
Rolling my eyes, I stand up on tiptoe, hooking my hands behind his neck. “Take this seriously, Drew.”
“I am.” He wraps his arms around my waist. “We’ll do it your way, but if it doesn’t work, then we’ll do it mine.”
“What is your way, exactly?”
“Figuring out who this is by brute force. I know it’s one of my guys, and I’m sick of messing around. The way I feel right now, I’ll beat the shit out of every single one of them for putting me through this.”
Letting my hands move down his chest, I hook my fingers in his belt loops. “You and I both know that’s not your style.”
“Bout to make it my style,” he growls. “Seriously, I can’t take this anymore, there’s only so much anger you can harbor. I’m at my limit, babe.”
“I’m at my limit too, but we have to be careful.”
“Careful is my middle name.” He grins, wagging his eyebrows up and down.
“You are so full of shit, Drew. Of all the times I need you to be serious. Now is the most important.”
He wraps his arms around me. “I know. We’ll figure this out, and we’ll use your idea to do it. I promise. We’ll be careful.”
“My idea, huh?” I can’t help but pick at him just a little.
“Yes, you’re idea. Don’t get used to this.”
I laugh before hiking myself up, hitching my legs around his waist. His head tilts, his eyes zero in on my mouth. Slowly and deliberately, he kisses me, making me forget what I was going to say. When we pull apart, our lips are shiny. “Now this,” he whispers, lowering me down onto the bed, putting his forearm up above my head. “Now this I could get used to.”
“Me too,” I whisper, reaching up for another kiss.
Chapter Nineteen
Charity
“I need chocolate and I need it stat,” I announce, walking into Southern Delights, Harper’s bakery.
She’s about to shut down for the day, but I can tell by the look on her face, she’s excited. It’s been a hot minute since all us girls got together to talk about our husbands and to eat with the abandonment of a girls’ night out. The only difference is we can’t have it at our normal hangout, El Mazatlan, and we’ve been told not to get drunk either. It’s a girls’ night out, lite.
“You’re in luck! I made us brownies and some chocolate chip cookies. I have some chocolate ganache to top it with if that’s your thing too, along with some strawberries.” She answers all my prayers as I walk through the sitting area and past the counter.
Giving her a hug, I inhale deeply, loving the smell of the treats. “If this was a bar, I’d be belly up.”
She laughs, giving me a grin. “Go on back, Christine’s already here. We’re just waiting on Tatum and B. Everybody else has shit to do.”
“That’s fine with me, more chocolate in my belly. Hey!” I wave at Christine as I drop my stuff off on a nearby counter. “I feel like I haven’t seen you in ages.”
She accepts the hug I give her, but I notice she’s got tension, lots and lots of tension.
“Been really busy.” She shrugs. “Who knew summer would bring me so many clients?”
I want to ask her if that’s all that’s wrong with her, when B and Tatum walk in.
“Even though the guys said we shouldn’t drink, I brought tequila.” B holds up a bottle.
We all woo her on. “Tatum, go get us some glasses.” She points to where Harper keeps her stuff.
It’s then that Harper comes through the door, shutting this part off to the main lobby. “Finally,” she pulls her apron off. “I shut down like fifteen minutes early, I just couldn’t take it anymore. What are you doing?” she asks Tatum whose gathering glasses in her hands.
“B brought tequila.” I point to our friend.
“Awesome.” Harper smiles. “Because I cooked us up a batch of sausage biscuits.”
Everyone begins making noises of excitement. The sausage biscuits are cult status among the club, and if certain people find out we’ve gotten them, there very well may be a mutiny.
“Whatever you do,” Harper cautions us, “don’t put pictures on social media. I had to withhold biscuits from both Remy and Tyler this week. We all know I’ll be in so much trouble if they figure out I was hoarding them for us.”
Tatum makes a noise. “Those two think they’re so special. They need to learn to share.”
I agree, my stomach growling as a biscuit is passed to me. My mouth is watering and I’m almost positive this is going to be the best thing I’ve ever tasted. The first bite hits my tongue, and I moan at how good it tastes, but then something happens. As it goes down, it doesn’t continue to taste so good and my stomach starts churning.
There’s no time to warn them, so I make quickly for the nearest trash can, hoping like hell I at least get everything in it. I’m heaving, eyes watering, wondering who the hell I pissed off in another life.
“Oh my God, are you okay?” Harper asks as she pushes my hair back from my sweaty forehead.
“I’m okay, I’ve just not been feeling the best lately. With everything going on, I’ve got a nervous stomach.”
“I’ve never known you to be a puker,” Tatum throws her two cents in. “Like ever.”
“Yeah, well, I’m getting older and times are changing,” I go over to the industrial sized sink. Leaning over, I clean my mouth out. When I come back up Christine is there with a rag for me. “Thanks.” I use it to wipe my face off.
“No problem, I’ve had a nervous stomach lately, too.”
The way she says it, it feels like som
eone just walked over my grave. The hairs on the back of my neck stand up, and I do my best to not to pass out. Something in the way she says it, scares the shit out of me.
“C’mon, I have some crackers.” Harper holds up a pack of crackers along with a can of Sprite. “We can still have a girls’ night out, you just can’t eat all the good stuff I have planned.”
Slowly, we make our way back over, and in the back of my head, the words Christine said just keep repeating like a broken track.
Chapter Twenty
Charity
“Mom, is it okay for us to go outside?” Harley asks as she and Justice stand in front of me.
I’m still uneasy about the things that have been going on with us for the almost last year, but I know they’re just kids who want to have fun. It’s summer and neither one of them want to be cooped up any longer. Drew will have my ass if he finds out, but I relent. “As long as someone goes with you.”
“I will!” Tatum jumps at the chance. She hasn’t been around the girls much lately, with planning her wedding and all. They’ve missed her and I have a feeling she’s missed them.
I know they’re ready for the real wedding planning to start, so they’ll be able to pick out their dresses and decide how they’re going to wear their hair.
“Are you sure? You came here to help Addie today.” I glance at the two friends.
“Working on a Saturday is totally not what she signed up for when she agreed to be my friend,” Addie laughs. “Anyway, we’ve got the majority of it done. The rest of it is paperwork that she can’t help with. Go on and let the girls have some fun.”
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