“I’m sorry, Dinah. I truly am. After livin’ in an orphanage, I saw that options were different for girl orphans than boys. When they kicked us out at age thirteen? Some girls became brides the next damn day.”
“A couple of girls in my school got married at sixteen. When I mentioned my…I don’t want to say disgust at that prospect, my mother turned mean.”
“Why?”
She shrugged. “Maybe because she believed I sneered at her choice to marry that young, which wasn’t true. But when I tried to explain how I felt, she said I needn’t worry about marriage since no man wanted a know-it-all shrew in his bed.”
Silas shook his head. “Did you remind her that if you got married she’d be on her own?”
“No. I thought of a dozen mean things I could’ve said back, but…how would that’ve helped either of us? And she was proud that I’d passed the ‘normal school’ teaching test on my first try. Unfortunately there weren’t teaching jobs in Cheyenne. I hadn’t pursued other options outside of the area while my mother was alive, but after she died, I wanted a fresh start. Rather than take Mr. Jones’ offer of marriage—”
“Whoa. Hold on there. Your father’s friend wanted to marry you?”
Dinah wrinkled her nose. “Yes. But I said no.”
“But he could’ve taken care of you and you wouldn’t have had to struggle at all.”
Her eyes were full of fire when she looked at him. “Exactly. I did not want to be my mother. Ever. Perhaps it is horrible to say, but I was so angry at her, Silas, for not knowing how to do anything. That meant I didn’t know how to do anything either because she couldn’t teach me. I’m proud of what I learned on my own. I swore I’d learn everything I needed to take care of myself, so I’d never be stuck relying on a husband. That’s why I said no to marrying him.”
“Is that the only reason?”
“No. He was old.”
He struggled between laughing and getting well and truly pissed off. “And?”
“And I hated that he didn’t plan to court me. We’d be married—just like that. It felt as if he believed he was doing me a favor by marrying me.”
“I’m sure he made you feel that way, while he was prolly thinkin’, Yippee! I’m gonna have this beautiful woman under me every night and twice on Sundays.”
Dinah laughed. “Maybe he did offer for me because he was just a randy old goat.”
“He would’ve been ruttin’ on you day and night, darlin’, trust me. Anyway, keep goin’. I wanna hear the part about you not bein’ a ‘real’ teacher.”
“I’m getting there.” She began to pluck at the grass again and he let her. “Schools as far away as Grand Junction, Colorado advertised for teachers in the Cheyenne paper. I was willing to go anywhere but I was aware frontier schools paid better. First part of May I saw Doc’s ad for a ‘new’ school in Crook County. Room and board provided with him and his wife, plus transportation costs for me and a limited amount of household goods. The bottom of the ad also indicated extra income was available for teacher candidates with nursing experience.” She paused. “I might’ve broken a finger I wrote a response so fast. I posted the letter that same day. I might’ve bragged a bit in that I’d been my mother’s sole caretaker for years. I heard back from Doc, offering me the job, and asking if I could start right away.”
“But…ain’t school already out in May?”
“Yes. He was upfront that he needed my help as his nursing assistant until school started in August. I packed up and hopped on the train. Doc met me, settled me in my room in his house. Immediately I realized that his wife was in poor enough shape she couldn’t do any household chores.”
“Did that make you mad?”
“It made me…aware that if I didn’t stand my ground from the start that Mrs. Agnes would be a repeat of what I’d gone through with my mother. I told Doc that I’d do all the cooking, cleaning and household tasks, if I didn’t have to answer to—or wait on or be a caretaker to—his wife. He agreed. He never asked if I had experience growing a garden. Or milking a cow. Or putting up winter stores. Or dealing with chickens—all things that’d been neglected since Mrs. Agnes had taken ill. So I taught myself a bunch of new skills.”
Silas loved her confident smile and her obvious pride. “Didja learn how to butcher too?”
“I watched Doc do it. The other thing I learned to do was keep Doc’s ledgers. Many people he treated paid in goods rather than money. So I had to figure out what to do with salt pork and a bushel of apples. If we had too much of something like eggs, I’d trade them at Robinette’s store for what we needed. In the fall we had a cellar full of root vegetables that I’d grown. Mrs. Agnes roused herself long enough to teach me how to make fruit preserves and wine and pickle various foods we couldn’t eat right away.”
“Sounds like a lot of work, Dinah.”
“It was. It was also the best summer of my life. But I did have help. Jimmy chopped all the wood we needed for the winter.” She paused and looked at him. “Do you know about Martha?”
He shook his head. “Who’s that?”
“She’s an Indian girl about the same age as Jimmy. I guess her father was a white man and after her mother died, the Crow tribe ‘returned’ her to Doc since he was the only white man they dealt with. He named her Martha because she refused to answer to her Indian name after the tribe kicked her out.”
“Does she live with Doc?”
“She lives in the woods—that’s her choice. Her mother was a medicine woman, so Martha knows a lot about plants and natural herbal cures. She helps Doc out, bringing him medicinals. She traps animals and since no one will buy from her, Jimmy trades the skins and the quills on her behalf. I bought my horse from her. Doc claims she caught it wild and broke it to saddle.”
“A young girl did that all on her own,” Silas said skeptically.
“I don’t know why you find that surprising. Her tribe has probably been doing that for generations and that’s how she learned.”
“You got a point.”
“Speaking of points…I got off track. Back to the school issue. Over the summer, I asked Doc if I could see the schoolhouse where I’d be teaching. He kept putting me off. Finally, I pinned him down one night and he told me the truth; there wasn’t an official schoolhouse. I’d be teaching in the recovery room when he didn’t have patients. Which was most of the time, since Doc preferred to make house calls. I tamped down my disappointment and asked about the students who’d be attending the school.”
She paused so long that a bad feeling took root.
“Three students. That’s all. Jimmy, Martha and Mr. Robinette’s youngest son, Ernie.”
“Good lord.”
“Yes, I’d be trying to teach an orphan who bunked in a saloon if he was lucky, an Indian girl who hated being indoors, and a merchant’s kid who had failed a level in Sundance for poor attendance. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.”
“Did it feel as if you’d had the wool pulled over your eyes?”
Dinah sighed. “Yes. And no. I’d been so eager to get out of Cheyenne I hadn’t asked specifics about the teaching aspect of the job, so that is my fault. After I arrived here, I’d thrown myself into learning to do everything else, and working as Doc’s assistant, I figured the teaching part would be the easiest.” Another laugh. “That was before I learned that Jimmy had never been to school. Martha couldn’t read or write. And Ernie was brilliant at math but nothing else.”
“I am grateful for the factory’s school and that the nuns in the orphanage made sure we could all read and write and do arithmetic,” Silas said. “I can’t tell you how many men I worked with on the trail that had a history like ours of bein’ an orphan and they couldn’t even write their own names.”
“Exactly. So it did occur to me, from a teacher’s perspective, to embrace the challenge. If I could teach the three of them, then I could teach anyone.”
“There’s a silver lining.”
She sent him a sun
ny smile. “Thank you. I made the mistake of attending the Crook County Schools Board of Education meeting, eager to connect with other teachers. That’s where I met Mary O’Brien and Sarah White. They were friendly at first, except I couldn’t believe they bragged about how much they were earning teaching in Sundance and they were the highest paid teachers in the entire state of Wyoming. When they asked where I taught, guessing Beulah or Hulett, and I said Labelle…you could’ve heard a pin drop. Then they started tittering like drunken crows. Acting so high and mighty, snottily informing me that Doc had advertised for a teacher for over a year, but since it wasn’t a ‘real’ school, no one had been dumb enough to take the job.” She paused. “It stung at the time. I can admit now that I cried all the way back to Doc’s place.”
Silas leaned over and cupped her chin in his hand, forcing her to look at him. “Ties me up in knots to hear this angel face wore your tears.”
“That was the only time I cried.”
“Good.”
She stretched her legs out and leaned into his touch. “Can I tell you a secret?”
“Sure.”
“The joke is on them because Doc and Mr. Robinette are paying me twice what the teachers in Sundance make. Twice as much. For one fourth as many students. And on the days the kids don’t show up? I still get paid.”
He smiled. “Yeah, darlin’, you keep makin’ them dumb decisions.”
Dinah lowered her gaze to his mouth.
That shy but curious glance sent his heart racing. “Can I tell you a secret?”
She nodded.
“I really wanna kiss you right now.”
Her gaze flew to his. “Okay.”
No hesitation. Interesting.
He let his thumb drift across her cheek. “Have you been kissed before?”
“Once. At my friend Kathryn’s birthday party when I was sixteen. Kathryn’s cousin Harrison kissed me on the lips. Then he tried to stick his tongue in my mouth. I didn’t like it at all.”
“Well, sugar pie, I’m gonna kiss you with my tongue too, but we’ll work into it, all right?”
She nodded. “Do you…think it’s pathetic that I’m twenty years old and I’ve only been kissed once?”
“It don’t matter to me if you’d been kissed once or kissed a thousand boys. I just know from here on out, I’m the only man you’ll be kissin’.”
Her chin shot up. “Then I’d better be the only woman you put your lips on too, McKay.”
“I promise.”
“Will you also promise that if I’m bad at kissing you’ll teach me how to get better?”
“I ain’t grading you on your kissin’ abilities, Miss Thompson.”
She blushed. “But I don’t want to fail at this, Silas.”
“You won’t.” He lightly pinched that stubborn chin. “So can we get on with the kissin’ part now?”
“Yes.” She closed her eyes.
“Huh-uh. I want your eyes open.” He kept his hand curled around the side of her face as he leaned in.
Dinah seemed to quit breathing.
He could’ve nuzzled his cheek against hers to start, but he’d been dreaming of those plush, petal-pink lips for months and he wanted a taste.
Silas pressed his lips to hers, holding them there against the exaggerated pucker she’d formed with her lips. Once her rigid posture relaxed, and her lips softened, he moved his mouth back and forth across hers, his heart racing in anticipation. He caught the flowery scent of her soap and his head spun when her lips finally parted on an exhale.
That’s it, darlin’. Let me show you how good this will be between us.
Her eyes fluttered closed on a soft sigh when he traced the seam of her lips with his tongue, catching the fleshy inner rim.
She began to match each gentle glide of his mouth, mimicking his movements. When she placed her hand on his chest and tilted her head, he took the kiss deeper. Teasing with a soft swirl of his tongue against hers until he tasted lemonade, the hint of whiskey and the sweetness that was all Dinah.
As much as Silas wanted to devour her, to own that succulent mouth of hers, he maintained an easy exploration. Showing her that being lip-locked was only a small part of creating trust and intimacy. Gently stroking her sun-warmed face. Smoothing his hands over her soft curls that reached the middle of her back. He would’ve been content sharing air and swallowing her happy moans.
But Dinah wanted more. She dug her fingers into his chest like a kitten kneading its paws as she sucked on his bottom lip. Then in a move that shocked him, she pushed him back, so they were lying side-by-side in the grass.
Silas loved that her curiosity was stronger than her anxiety.
It took every bit of his willpower not to slip his leg between hers. Or align his body over hers. Or allow his hands to learn every inch of her curves. He could be patient.
Until he’d reached the end of it. He gently rolled her so he was on top, bracing himself on his arms above her, purposely only allowing their upper halves to touch.
He gifted her with soft smooches and tiny nibbles on her kiss-swollen lips as she caught her breath and the urgency between them ebbed.
“You all right?” he murmured against her cheek.
“I don’t know. I didn’t expect my body would get so hot and tingly and I’d feel like frogs were jumping in my belly from just kissing.”
He smiled at her honesty. “Those are very good things. Means you like kissin’ me.”
“I like it a lot.” She tilted her head back to study him. “You are such a great kisser, McKay. I want to make sure you like kissing me too. So if I need to…improve, you’ll tell me, right?”
“Oh, I’ll go you one better, darlin’, and teach you.” He nuzzled her cheek. “But to be honest, I don’t have a single complaint.” He smirked at her. “Except I wish we had fewer clothes on when we were kissin’ like crazy.”
“Sounds like a good way to get bug bites in unmentionable places,” she teased back.
“You gotta be more concerned about all the places I’m gonna bite you before I’d let them bugs get a chance.”
“Silas.”
“Just statin’ my intentions.”
She ran her fingers through his hair.
“Mmm. I love that.”
“Then I’ll keep doing it.”
“Let’s shift a little.” Silas sat up and held his hand out to help her up too. When she was upright, he placed his head in her lap. “Ah. Much better.”
“I’d call you shameless, but you’d like it,” she said with amusement.
“Yep.”
Neither spoke for a while; she just continued petting him and he lapped it up like an attention-starved dog.
After a bit, she said, “I have an odd question.”
He opened his eyes. “Shoot.”
Her gaze roamed over his face. “With you and Jonas being identical twins, why are you both clean-shaven? Like today when everyone called you Deputy McKay. If one of you had a beard, that wouldn’t be an issue.”
“True. ’Cept we both hate beards.”
“Why?”
“No choice but to have a beard on a cattle drive. Granted, we were mere hairless boys when Jeb plucked us off the orphan train. After our voices and our bollocks dropped, growin’ a beard made us feel like real men. All the other cowhands had them. Then we realized there wasn’t a choice. Took time, not to mention soap and water, to have a smooth face on the trail. Plus, them old hands were bastards and gave a man grief for actin’ like a dandy. Or like we were getting slicked up because we were lookin’ for a bachelor marriage.”
“What’s that?”
“Months on the trail is a long time without a woman’s touch. Some of the cowhands…took to bein’ with each other, as to say…sexually. Was no skin off my nose if they chose that, it just wasn’t an option for me or Jonas. Soon as we were off the trail with money in our pockets, first thing me’n Jonas did was hit the bathhouse for a delousing and then barbershop for a shave.”
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“What about visiting a whorehouse?” She paused. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have asked.”
“No, darlin’, it’s fine. I ain’t gonna lie—but I’m not braggin’ neither when I tell you I spent plenty of time and money with workin’ gals. It is in my past though; I can promise you that.”
“I bet the workin’ gals did a double take when the McKay twins sauntered through the doors. They’d probably offer their services for free.”
He laughed. Hard. “Ain’t nothin’ ever free with the ladies. But Jonas never came with me to one of them houses.”
“Never? Why not?”
“No idea. I never asked him why he passed or what he’d rather do instead.”
Dinah smoothed her fingers across his cheeks. “I’m glad you don’t have a beard; it’d be a shame to cover up this handsome face.”
He kissed her palms, one at a time. “Thank you.” Then he sat up. “What else you wanna do today?”
“Can we drive closer to Devil’s Tower?”
“Of course. But it will eat up the rest of our afternoon.”
Riding over to the tower meant taking the busier road. But the look on her face when she saw the size of the massive rock up close was worth dodging other buggies and ruts.
On the ride back to Labelle, Silas did most of the talking, since Dinah had questions. Lots of questions. He figured she couldn’t help it, being a teacher and all. The oddest part was he didn’t mind.
Back at Doc’s, he stowed the buggy in the barn and said a quick hello to Doc and Mrs. Agnes before he returned outside to his horse. He might’ve kissed Dinah with more passion than an early evening warranted, especially since they were entwined in plain sight, but Dinah’s reaction stirred a primal need in him.
“Promise me you’ll always kiss me like that?” she whispered in his ear.
“Truly be my pleasure, sugar pie.”
“When will I see you again?”
“I’ll try to make it into town sometime this week. If that don’t happen, I’ll be here on Saturday afternoon for sure.”
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