by Tracey Jukes
“Spill, lady. I know something is up. What’s going on?”
“I think Russell is having an affair,” she blurts out.
I don’t know what to say, and she doesn’t look upset, she just seems angry.
“Nyla, you and Russell have been together for two years, why do you think that? Talk to me, please.”
Nyla just looks at me with a cold smile.
“Things between me and Russell haven’t been right for a while now, and I’ve been kidding myself that they were. I just didn’t think he would actually have an affair behind my back. I knew he could be a fucking asshole, I just hoped I was wrong.
Nyla is getting angrier, and when Nyla gets angry, shit happens.
“I always thought we were upfront with each other. We agreed ages ago that if things ever got to this point in our relationship, then one of us would leave and not have a goddamn affair. How could he do this to me?”
“Nyla, darling, breathe,” Jase says softly.
She looks at Jase. Her eyes have started to bulge, and he looks at me as if to say help.
“Each time his phone goes off, he’s really secretive about it, and he deletes everything. He never used to delete anything. I always had to remind him to do it as his phone was always full.”
I look at Nyla with concern. “So, you’ve been checking his phone? Does he know?” “No. He no longer leaves his phone lying around like he used to. I have to look for his phone when he’s out of the room or in the shower.” She lets out a big sigh, and her eyes are heavy with sadness.
I take Nyla’s hands. “Look at me,” I tell her softly, and her eyes meet mine. “What you’re doing is only what any sane girlfriend would do in this situation. If Russell is up to something, then you have a right to know. You made an agreement, and he should’ve stuck to it.”
I can see her anger rising again, just when I thought she may be calming down a little.
“If I find out he’s definitely cheating on me, I’ll be having the party of all parties at my place, and his belongings will be the main focus.”
“Well, I’m in. I love a good old smash-and-wreck-it party.” Jase and Nyla high five each other.
I put my head in my hands and groan, and they both laugh at me. Nyla has calmed down some, and it’s time we left.
“Why don’t you come back with me, and we’ll have some girlie time?” I ask.
“Thanks, but I need to face the music and try to find out what’s going on, guys.”
As we get up, Jase grins while looking at something up street. I turn to see what’s caught his attention, and walking towards us is Reid. He’s looking straight at me but doesn’t look too happy. Jase looks at me and then back to Reid.
“Ooh, who is that?? He’s delicious.”
Nyla and I chuckle.
“Erm, he doesn’t look too happy. Actually, if steam could come out of his ears, I bet it would be right about now.”
I stop laughing and look back up in Reid’s direction to find he is right by us, and boy, does he look angry. Before my lips move, he speaks, but not to me.
“Who the hell are you?”
He’s aiming those words to Jase. Who the hell does he think he is invading our conversation and space? I’m about to speak when Nyla steps up, and with the mood she’s already in, I wouldn’t like to be in his shoes.
“He is our friend, not that it’s any of your business.”
Without taking his eyes off Jase, he responds to Nyla. “Oh, I’m making it my business, sweetheart.”
This just makes Nyla worse tempered, and I step back because I know shit is gonna fly. Nyla gets between Jase and Reid pushes him hard on his chest.
“Excuse me, but we,” she waggles her finger between me and Jase, “were having ice cream together, and it’s you who has bulldozed your way into our conversation all hot-headed, demanding things when you have no right to. Who the hell do you think you are, caveman?” Before Reid can say anything, Nyla carries on wagging her finger right in his face and continues her rant at him. “You may be all muscles and tall, but you don’t intimidate me. How dare you barge in here and demand to know who he is while staring at Esme like you own her?”
By now, everyone has gone quiet.
“Have you finished, sweetheart?”
“My name is Nyla.”
“Whatever. She won’t be long.” He grabs me around the waist, about to haul off with me when Jase and Nyla both step in his path.
“I don’t think so, caveman. You’re taking her nowhere.” Nyla frowns at him then Jase pipes up.
“Esme, are you okay going with him? Be honest with us.” I look between them both, and I know how worried they must be, thinking of how I’m feeling.
“Guys, it’s fine. I will be feet from you, I promise, and what’s he going to do with my two bodyguards right here?”
Nyla doesn’t look convinced, but I know she trusts my judgement. Within a split second, Reid is carrying me around the corner out of sight of Jase and Nyla.
Chapter Five
I can’t believe he just hauled me up like that in front of my friends. What the fuck does he think he’s doing? He releases me, but I’m pinned against the wall of the ice-cream parlor with his arms on either side of my head. He still looks pissed, but his features have started to soften. I go to speak, but he beats me to it.
“Who is he? A boyfriend? A lover? Because I don’t share, princess. I’m warning you.”
I’m stunned. Since when does he have any right to ask who any man is to me, let alone Jase? I’m so confused. We had a kiss in the heat of the moment during a fucking gym class, and now he’s going on like I’m his property. I need to slow him down right now and put a stop to it. I look up at him, and there are those damn butterflies again.
“Reid, look, we had one kiss in the heat of the moment. That does not mean you own me. Jase is my friend, and by the way, he’s gay, not that it matters. But you have no right taking me off like you did, and you certainly have no damn right telling me you don’t share when we’re not even together.”
He growls at me. I mean, really growls. It’s kinda sexy, but it also gets me pissed with him as he’s being more stupid than I thought.
“Esme, that kiss may have been in the heat of the moment, but now I’ve had it, there’s no going back. You’re mine.” He raises his knuckles to the side of my face and very gently runs them down my cheek, not taking his eyes off mine. In that moment, I’m lost to him. He leans down to kiss me when I move back, remembering why we’re here.
“You’re delusional. One kiss does not mean I’m yours. Now, if you don’t mind, I need to get back to my friends.”
I duck beneath his arm and walk away, back toward my friends. I round the corner, but not before looking back at him. His eyes are trained on me, and they’re dark and filled with lust.
“You’re mine, Esme,” he calls out, then he storms away.
I get back to my friends who are looking at me with huge grins on their faces.
“What?”
Nyla speaks first. “Well, damn. That was hot. He sure as hell has it bad for you. Why didn’t you say how hot things were between you?”
“There’s nothing to tell. The man is fucking deluded. I mean, it was one kiss, and he goes all barbarian on me. He’s a player, obviously. As soon as he thought I was gone, he moved onto the next woman in the gym, remember? I saw it with my own eyes.”
Jase has amusement dancing in his eyes.
“Jase, why are you looking at me like that?”
“Because I think you’re wrong. That ain’t no man who plays around. That was ‘this is my woman, and you better stay away or else.’”
“Come on, you two. I’m not his woman. There was a moment of weakness last night at the gym, and yes, it was good. Well, actually, it was more than good, but that’s all it was. We don’t know each other, and under no circumstances does he have any right to make a claim on me, so can we please drop the subject?”
“Fine,” J
ase says. “I will let it go, but don’t think this is the end of it if the look he was giving you was anything to go by. I think you will be seeing him again real soon.”
Nyla laughs and links her arm in mine to make our way to the subway station.
Walking into my apartment building, I say hi to Lance. He’s in his fifties and a genuinely nice man. He waves back as I’m getting into the elevator, but then I hear him say, “Hi, Reid.”
I quickly press the button for my floor, willing the doors to close real fast. I turn around, our eyes meet, and he walks faster toward the elevator. My heart races as fast as my finger is pressing the button, and luckily, the doors close before he gets in. I will the elevator to hurry up, as I just want to get into my apartment. I can’t deal with an overbearing caveman twice in one day. The doors slide open, and I make for my apartment, but just as I get the door open, Reid barrels through the stairwell door and heads straight for me. I slam my door shut before he is toe to toe with me, but he bangs on the door. This guy doesn’t know how to take a hint.
I lean against the door, sliding down it until I hit the floor, and then I just sit there.
“Open up, Esme. I just want to talk, please.”
His voice sounds so soft. I begin to wonder if it really would hurt to talk to him. But then I remember the gym scene and how it hurt to see him go straight to another girl. It was like a punch to my stomach, but he wouldn’t get that. He probably does it a lot. For me, if I kiss someone with the fire that we kissed, then walking off with another guy less than twenty minutes later just would not happen. With that in mind, I go back to being stubborn.
I don’t answer him because there’s no good guy in what he did. I continue to sit there, then he starts knocking again. His persistent knocking is hurting my damn head.
Bang, bang, bang.
“Please, just go away and leave me alone. I have nothing to say to you.”
“I’m not going anywhere until you damn well talk to me. So, you have a choice. You can make this easy and just open up now, or I can wait here until you need to go out, but I will make a nuisance of myself and you will only have yourself to blame.”
I laugh because I cannot believe the balls this guy has. What does he mean, I will only have myself to blame? Is Jase right, and he really does have it bad for me? Jesus, Esme. Get a grip, will you? I decide not to give in to his demands. He can talk through the door. Two can play this game.
“Okay, talk, Smiler.” I call out to him. “But I ain’t opening the door. Whatever you wanna say, just say it.”
There’s no response, so I call out his name, and still nothing. He must’ve got the message and given up. I take a deep breath and jump up off the floor. I need a shower, and then I have plans to veg out on my couch for the rest of the evening. I can hear noises outside on the fire escape, so I walk toward the windows to close them, but don’t make it two feet when a huge figure falls through it, causing me to scream. I start running toward my bedroom, but I don’t make it. The unknown figure grabs my wrist, and I freeze. I’m numb, and my eyes blur, trying to focus on anything but the memories. Whoever is holding me is talking. I don’t hear anything he’s saying. All that’s running through my mind is that night—the night where everything that mattered was taken from me. Where one of the murderers pinned me to the floor, and had it not been for the sound of the sirens, I’d have been raped. Then darkness closes over my eyes, and I’m out.
“Ain’t going nowhere ‘til she wakes up,” I hear someone growl.
There’s a voice I recognize, but I’m not exactly sure what’s happening. I must be dreaming. Then I hear Nyla and Reid arguing. I slowly open my eyes, but everything is fuzzy. I realize I’m on my bed, but why are they both here in my apartment, arguing? I try to focus and think. I remember coming into my apartment to get away from Reid, then I remember someone coming in through my window and grabbing me.
I start to panic and knock my lamp off the side, and they obviously heard it because they both race in. Nyla wraps her arms around me and rocks me, telling me it’s okay, and Reid is standing there, running his hand through his hair and looking like he’s not sure what to do.
Nyla stares at him. “Next time, try using the door.”
I’m more confused about what Nyla is talking about. Why is she telling Reid to use the door?
Reid glances at me, and it’s not a look I’ve seen on him before. It’s not his usual smiling self. He looks defeated. His eyes are blank, and his head is down.
“What is she talking about? Why’d you have to use the door next time?”
He looks at me and then to Nyla. “I was annoyed when you wouldn’t open the door and talk to me, so I climbed up the fire escape to talk to you through the window, but I lost my footing and ended up falling through. The next thing I knew, you were running off, so I grabbed you and, well…”
“Oh my God, YOU! You grabbed my wrist!”
“Believe me, Esme, I’m sorry. Especially after the other day. But my brain doesn’t always think straight. Dammit, woman. You scared the hell out of me when you blacked out like that. I called Nyla, not knowing how to handle what was happening. Oh, and don’t get me started on you not keeping your phone locked.”
He paces around my room like an animal. It’s like he doesn’t know what to do or what to say. And what’s with the lecture about my phone?
“I know it doesn’t show me in a good light. In fact, it probably shows me to be more stalker-like. But please know, in my head, I thought I was doing the right thing, I swear. Sometimes I can be a little over-reactive.”
“Nyla, give us a minute, will you?” I ask.
She looks at me sympathetically. “Sure. I’ll be in the kitchen.”
“Thanks.”
Looking at Reid right now makes me feel like his nickname, Smiler, doesn’t quite fit him. The usual smirk’s completely gone, and all I see is a mixture of sadness and torture flooding across his face. All that’s fine, but damn, I’m so angry with him. How dare he think it’s okay to climb up the side of my apartment and scare me like that? Just because I didn’t speak to him. Fuck, he’s definitely got issues with behavior and control. He needs to understand this isn’t acceptable.
“Reid.”
He looks at me then sits on the edge of my bed.
“You called me Reid. I like it when you call me by my first name.” He has a smoldering look in his eyes again. It melts me a little, but I’m still pissed, and I’ll be damned if he’s getting off that lightly.
“You had no right to do what you did. You know that, right?”
The smoldering look has vanished. Now rears his annoyance, but there is no way that’s happening. Not this time.
“What you did was irrational. You scared me to the point that I blacked out. Do you even understand that?” By now, I’m standing, and my voice is raised. I don’t give him a chance to answer yet. I keep firing at him. “You really have no idea what went through my head when I saw this huge figure barreling through my window. You couldn’t give a shit, really, as you don’t know me or anything about my life. But let me tell you something, I thought I was about to die all over again, and this time…” I’m an emotional wreck, and Reid has no idea what I’m ranting about. He stands and holds out his hand. I know he’s asking for permission to take it, and although I probably shouldn’t, I do. He gently pulls me into him, then lifts me onto his lap. Maybe doing this with him right now isn’t right, but being in his arms feels good, and I cling to his t-shirt.
“Esme, I’ve fucked up big time, and if you never forgive me, I’ll understand. But I won’t give up trying with you. Not yet, anyway. Causing you such heartache wasn’t my intention. But will you tell me what caused you to blackout the way you did? Other than me being a tool.”
I lean away from him and wipe my face. I’m embarrassed he’s seen me this way. I must look a blithering wreck, but this is his fault, after all.
“I blacked out because you decided to be stupid while falling into
my apartment. How’s that for a reason?” I push off him, needing my space. Nyla walks back in. I know she’s been listening to us.
“I think you should leave now.”
He looks from Nyla to me. I turn away. It doesn’t feel right, telling him about my past and what happened.
“No, not leaving. I may have been the cause of you blacking out, and I regret that deeply, but there’s something else that you aren’t sharing, and it’s scaring you. I care about you, Esme. So, fuck it. I won’t leave until you talk to me. Please let me help and try to understand. Give me that, please.”
He makes me melt inside once again with his choice of words.
“How can you say you care about me when we hardly know each other?”
He doesn’t hesitate to respond. “I have no idea why, but there is something about you that won’t leave me. That kiss sent shivers down my spine like nothing I had ever felt before, and it just sealed it for me. The little bumps here and there were meant to be.”
And bizarrely enough, what he says is kind of how I’ve been feeling too. Maybe letting another person in who doesn’t really know me may help. I don’t know, but it sure can’t do any harm, can it?
He must take my silence as a yes. With that, he tries to walk Nyla out of the room. She looks around him at me, waiting for the okay.
“Es, are you sure you want to be left with him? He could be a nutjob, although he did call me in the first instance.”
“Yes, Ny. It’s all good. I love you.”
“I mean it, caveman. Do not hurt her, or I will kill you. That I promise.”
“Now, that I believe,” Reid says with a smile.
I expected Nyla to barge her way back in and give him hell for manhandling her like that, but all I hear is her chuckling and talking as she walks through my apartment. My guess is that she’s called Jase, giving him all the gossip. Those guys are like damn teenagers, but I do love them.
Looking up at Reid, I see questions in his face. Telling someone who isn’t close to me will feel like a relief. It’s also the only way he will ever understand me. He sits back on the bed, pulling me on to his lap. I go to push myself off, but he holds me in place.