by Kayla Wolf
Or maybe it hadn’t changed her all that much. Maybe this strength had been in her all along. This determination, this steely courage that felt so strange and so good as it burned in her chest. Maybe she’d always had this … it had just taken meeting someone she loved as much as Harvey to bring it out in her. God knew she’d never been able to be brave or strong for herself. But if it was for someone else? Easy. That was sad, wasn’t it? She bit her lip as she glanced at herself in the rear vision mirror, feeling an odd pang of regret for her upbringing, for the conditioning her parents had subjected her to that had made her incapable of standing up for herself.
Well, that could be her next project. For now, she’d stand up for Harvey. For the man she’d fallen in love with. For the family he spoke of with such love, such trust. It wasn’t that she was hoping that she’d win her way back into his good books. Most of her didn’t believe that was possible (though another part, deep down, hoped treacherously that it might be.) She’d done something terrible by going down there to spy on them. The least she could do was to balance the scales by giving them some information about the wolves who were planning to kill them.
It wasn’t quite dawn when she pulled into the driveway of the farmhouse, the sky just beginning to lighten as the sun approached. She was completely exhausted and spent as she pulled her bag out of the truck and headed inside, knowing without checking that the front door would be unlocked—there was no privacy among wolves, no need for a locked door. And sure enough, her father was awake already, sitting at the rough-hewn wooden table with a cup of coffee in his hand and his silver eyes on the door.
”You’re home.”
”You said to come straight away,” she said, shrugging a little. He was looking at her curiously. Could he tell, she wondered? Could he see that something had changed, that she was different, now, than she had been when she’d left?
”You did well,” he said abruptly, surprising her. “Alpha Juliana’s pleased with the information you provided. She’s glad you’re back in the pack.”
She stared at her father for a long moment, absolutely floored by what he’d just said. That was the closest thing to praise she’d gotten from him for as long as she could remember. A week ago, hearing that from him would have probably made her burst into tears of joy … But now, all she felt was horror that such a weak compliment was so significant. She nodded, trying to play the part of the dutiful daughter, hauling a pleased smile into place on her face. Her father nodded, seemingly satisfied with that. He didn’t know her at all, did he?
”There’ll be a pack meeting tonight at eight,” he continued after taking a quick sip of his coffee. “You’ll be expected to make a full report of what you learned down there to the Alpha and the war council, of course.”
”War council?”
”We convened while you were away.” A hard look in those silver eyes. “It’s time to take back what’s ours.”
”When?” Should she warn Harvey?
”Soon,” was all he’d say, and the warning look in his eyes stopped her from asking any more questions. It wouldn’t do to threaten the fragile peace here. At the moment, it seemed the pack was thinking well of her. She could use that power, that influence, to protect Harvey and his people, so long as she was careful. Play the role of the dutiful daughter. Her father cleared his throat. “You must be tired.”
”A little, yeah, but I’m—”
”Why don’t you get some rest?”
That shocked her. Her father viewed rest as a weakness. She had a suspicion he himself hadn’t slept more than four hours a night since she’d been born. “What about breakfast for the kids?”
”We organized for them to stay across the way while you were gone,” the old wolf shrugged. “They can stay there a little longer. Get some sleep.”
”Thanks, Dad.”
She headed up the stairs, strange feelings crowding her. Unbelievable. That conversation had included more love, more care, more concern for her than she could remember her father giving her in her entire life. A week ago, that would have made her unbelievably happy. But now—now that she’d had a glimpse of real love—now, it just made her feel cold. Her father was praising her because she’d been useful to him. She’d done something of benefit to the pack, so he was offering her a few lukewarm table scraps of respect. But that wasn’t going to work anymore. She was stronger than that now.
Her pack had no power over her any longer.
She put her suitcase down in her old room, looking around at the shabby walls, the worn quilt as though she’d never been here before. She’d lived here for as long as she could remember, but she knew now, deep in her bones, that this wasn’t her home. It never had been. Home was where people loved you. Cared for you. Appreciated you for you, not just what you could do for them. This wasn’t her home. She owed it no loyalty. And while she wished no harm upon the pack or her parents, she sure as hell wasn’t going to stand by and let her harm the only person who’d ever actually cared for her.
She pulled her phone out of her pocket and sent Harvey a quick text, filling him in on what was happening. Then she sat down on the bed, exhausted. A bit of sleep sounded good, actually—if her racing mind would let her get some shut-eye. The more rested she was, the better. She’d need her wits about her at the pack meeting if she was going to get the information she needed for Harvey.
Full of purpose, she drifted off to sleep.
She woke feeling rested. The dull ache in her chest that had been there since Harvey had slammed the door on her hadn’t gotten any less painful, but she could work around it. She realized, to her surprise, that she’d slept most of the day away—the sun was setting outside her window, and she bit her lip, aware that the pack meeting was coming up. It was interesting that neither her mother nor her father had disturbed her sleep. She really must have earned some points, heading down to the peninsula to spy on their enemies like that.
Little did they know that by the time this was over, she was going to lose those points and then some.
She took a change of clothes to the little bathroom the house shared and took a shower, rinsing the grime from her body and focusing her mind for the night ahead. It felt good to change into clean clothes, to be ready for the meeting. For the first time, she felt awake—like she had a reason to be at the meeting, a purpose to serve. She had to find out what was going on. For Harvey’s sake, and the sake of his friends. If she could give them advanced warning of the attack, it just might be enough to turn the tide of battle in their favor. And while she didn’t relish the idea of her pack—her family—getting hurt … well, they were the ones who were picking this fight.
She realized as she padded down the stairs, that she’d been avoiding thinking about her little siblings. They were innocents in all this—especially Bella, who at five years old barely understood what a wolf was, let alone the long and awful history of displacement and betrayal and war. No doubt they’d start filling her head with all that poison soon enough. She sighed to herself, feeling a twinge of grief. She wished she could get her little siblings out of this place. Maybe she’d try, once all of this stuff with the dragons was over. That was, if she survived the battle. Odd, to think of her own death in such calm terms. She’d never thought she had that kind of strength.
But it was easy to be brave when you realized that you had nothing to lose any more.
”Good, you’re awake.” Her father and mother were sitting at the table together, now. Her mother rose to her feet and crossed to embrace her—she shut her eyes for a moment, not used to these gestures of affection. They were really laying it on thick. “Are you ready for the meeting? Ready to tell the war council everything?”
”Definitely,” she said, smiling her bravest smile even as her mind stayed cold. “Looking forward to it. Do we know when the attack’s going to be?”
”That will depend on what you can tell us about their numbers and defenses,” her father interjected, getting to his feet a little stiffly. �
��But the pack’s ready for battle any day. We’d best head over now.”
Any day? She bit her lip as they walked, her heart beating hard. Her phone was in her pocket, and she resisted the urge to check for a message from Harvey. It was ridiculous to expect him to respond to her, to hope that he’d forgive her enough to communicate with her. That wasn’t going to happen. Not after the betrayal. Still, she was grateful that her text hadn’t been bounced—the little ‘read at’ message told her that he’d received the message that morning. That meant she could warn him about the attack, whenever it was going to be.
They stepped through the doors to the old barn, and the wolves gathered there all swiveled to stare at her. Alpha Juliana herself greeted her, striding forward to pull her into a hug as the war council nodded their approval. She scanned the room, checking who was there. Sure enough, most of the bigger families in the pack were represented. In packs this size, wolves tended to operate in loose family groups, represented by the matriarch or patriarch of each group. They would make up the war council. The wolves in this room would decide when the war broke out, she realized, a shiver running down her spine. What an awful responsibility.
”It’s good to have you back, Lori,” Juliana said, raising her voice theatrically to include the few dozen wolves of the Council in the conversation. “You’ve done great work down on the peninsula, scouting out our rightful home. Tell us what you learned.”
She cleared her throat, not used to speaking in front of people, but knowing she was doing this for Harvey gave her strength. She described the peninsula, the beauty of it, the various houses and cottages that were ready to be inhabited. It made her feel like a traitor, speaking about her soulmate’s home like something they had the right to steal. But she knew she had to play this role to avoid suspicion. She described the dragons who lived there, their low numbers, the defenses that they had.
”It would be best to attack where the peninsula joins the mainland, then,” Juliana said thoughtfully, turning to gaze at a map of the peninsula that was pinned up at the front of the gathering. “There’s a natural choke point there. They’ll have trouble fighting us off.”
The group had a few more questions for Lori, most of them about the dragons and their capabilities—did they seem strong? Did they seem vigilant? It seemed a few wolves had been running reconnaissance in the forest, and she remembered Harvey asking her whether she’d been in the forest in her wolf form. She didn’t mention that Harvey had seen the scouts—best to let them think that the dragons were completely unprepared for the attack.
”This is good work,” Juliana said finally. “I think we are all agreed. We attack tonight.”
A murmur of agreement went up, and despite her determination to be calm, Lori felt her face pale. “Tonight?”
”Tonight,” Juliana said, a savage grin on her hard face. “We’ve waited long enough to claim our birthright. We move tonight. Gather your soldiers,” she added, turning to the council. “We’ve been preparing for this day for decades. We leave immediately.”
Lori turned and rejoined her mother and father as Juliana described the specifics of the plan, trying her best to listen even as her heart pounded in her chest. Her father patted her shoulder reassuringly as she joined them, but she could barely think. Tonight—the attack was tonight. She had to warn Harvey. She’d been hoping they had time—a few days, at least, maybe a week… god, she’d been hoping she could talk them out of attacking at all. Why had she told them there were so few dragons down there? She should have said there were hundreds. But it was too late now. All she could do was warn Harvey.
So as the meeting wound up, she excused herself, slipping out the back of the barn and dialing Harvey’s number. She knew it was reckless, knew she was going to risk drawing attention to herself, arousing suspicion, but she couldn’t care. All that mattered was that Harvey knew what was coming. She bit her lip hard, praying with everything in her that he’d answer her call, that he wasn’t too angry to speak to her. The phone rang, and rang, and rang …
”Lori.”
Her name in his voice threatened to start her crying again. She controlled herself with difficulty, knowing how important it was that she get this information to him. “Harvey. Thanks for answering. The attack’s tonight. Now.”
”What?”
”They’re going to drive to where the peninsula joins the mainland and move from there,” she explained quickly, keeping her voice low. It was deserted out here under the stars, with everyone already heading for the cars to start the attack, but she still didn’t want to risk being overheard by anyone who was passing through. She watched the headlights piercing the night, picturing the fight that was ahead. “A hundred of them. They’re going to move through the trees, get you all trapped down at the tip of the peninsula, then attack. They just left. Will you be ready?”
”We evacuated the human guests today. Told them it was a plumbing problem, refunded their stays. And we’re ready for an attack.” His voice was cold, distant. But it was still so good to hear from him that she couldn’t help smiling. “How long do we have?”
”It’s an hour’s drive.”
”We’ll be waiting.”
”Harvey—” She took a deep breath. “Hang up on me if you want to. I’d understand. But I just … I wanted to tell you how sorry I am. Truly, for everything. You don’t have to forgive me. I don’t think I’d be able to if I were you. But I …” She could feel tears on her face, but she fought to keep talking. “I care about you so much. All I want is for you to be safe. To try to make this up to you somehow … no matter how long it takes. Harvey, I love you.”
There was a long silence at the end of the phone. She took a deep, shuddering breath, grateful for the opportunity to have said that out loud. But then her heart sank as she heard a voice, not from the phone, but from behind her.
”Who are you talking to, Lori?”
Her father’s voice. Her father, standing behind her, with a cold, murderous look in his hard silver eyes.
Chapter 12 - Harvey
Harvey had just been coming off patrol when his phone rang. It had been a tense day, patrolling the paths of the forest with Lachlan at his side. The two of them didn’t speak much, both focused on the work at hand, worried about the attack that may be coming. He felt for his friends deeply. Lachlan had two children to worry about, as well as his mate and himself—he’d organized for the little ones to be taken away to the mainland with the departing tourists, and Harvey could tell that he already missed them. It was a dark time, but it was better for them to be somewhere safe than to risk them getting tangled up in a serious battle with a bloodthirsty pack of wolves.
They didn’t find many signs of wolves. A few broken branches here and there, and a smudged hole in some mud that could have been a pawprint if you squinted. But overall, very few signs that the wolves had been here at all. A part of Harvey wanted to hope that Lori had succeeded in convincing her family not to attack. He kept checking his phone, telling himself it was because he wanted to be on top of any information that came in as soon as possible. But if he was honest with himself, it had a lot more to do with wanting to hear from Lori. He was worried about her, despite what she’d done. He wanted her to be safe.
”You and this girl,” Lachlan said once as they were walking, clearly prompted to ask the question by Harvey checking his phone for the tenth time that hour. “Did something … happen, between you?”
”What do you mean?” Harvey asked, too quickly.
”Just … I don’t know, you’ve seemed pretty tense about all this.”
”A wolf pack’s coming to attack us, Lachlan. I think it makes sense for me to be tense.”
”Fine, fine,” Lachlan said, raising his hands in defeat. “But if you want to talk about anything, I’m here.”
But he let the silence fall. What good would it do to talk about any of this with his friends? She was a wolf. She’d betrayed them. The fact that they were soulmates … well, it didn�
�t mean anything, did it? Not when it came to keeping his people safe. The anger he felt … it was helpful. It kept him focused, kept him from disappearing into self-pity. Kept him going, even as his weariness grew and grew, his body complaining about the lack of sleep. But how could he sleep when his home was endangered?
The sun had set, and he and Lachlan were heading back home to swap the patrols over when he felt his phone vibrating in his pocket. Lachlan looked up, alert and curious, and he pulled the phone out of his pocket, recognizing the number that came up on the screen and feeling his heart do a backflip. It was Lori. She’d said there was going to be a pack meeting that night … it must be over. But she’d said she was going to message him what happened. Why was she calling him? His first thought, to his dismay, was that it would be dangerous for her to speak out loud to him on the phone. Much more discrete to send a text message, with no chance of being overheard.
”Answer it,” Lachlan urged him. Taking a deep breath, trying not to look as though this phone call was as important to him as it actually was, he picked up the phone.
What he heard made the color drain from his face. The attack was tonight—not in a few days, not in a week, but tonight. The wolves were heading over, planning to move through the forest and attack them in their homes in the dead of night. His heart was pounding as he pictured it, acknowledging even as he recoiled in horror at the prospect that it was a solid strategy for taking over territory. But they weren’t going to get into the trees, he thought grimly, picturing the road where the peninsula joined the mainland. They were going to run into seven angry dragons before they got anywhere near the settlement.
If it killed him, Harvey was going to keep his home safe.
What Lori said next, he had to compartmentalize. With Lachlan standing right there, he didn’t trust himself to respond to her apology, to her saying she loved him. Even though it sent his dragon roaring with triumph in his chest, he had to stay in control. Maybe they’d get a chance to talk later when this was all over … provided that both of them survived the attack, he thought with a chill running down his spine. But for now, he had to focus. Had to ignore what she’d said. So he hung up the phone without responding, ignoring the twist of grief that it caused him.