Jackson smiled when he saw me. With his thumbs hooked in the front pockets of his faded jeans, and his T-shirt stretched tight against his wide chest, showcasing his sculpted muscles, he looked absolutely delicious. Mercy, he’s hotter than a metal bleacher in the summertime. That chest... Those abs... Those arms and shoulders… God, how I longed to feel the heat of our bare chests pressed together. His blue eyes twinkled as I moved closer. Just seeing him smile at me gave me butterflies. He held out his arms to embrace me, squeezing me as he kissed me on the forehead.
“Hey there, beautiful.” His voice sent electricity through my body. “How’s your day been?”
Horrible. I’m tormented, lusting after your hot bod, and mad as hell because you haven’t given me my birthday present. “Same as usual,” I replied, concealing the truth with a smile. His chiseled jaw and blond hair drove me to nine levels of crazy. “At least my only homework is studying. How ‘bout you?”
He grinned and put his arm around my shoulder as we walked toward the oak grove. “You know, same hard classes, followed by what’s really important.”
“Oh, you mean lifting all those heavy weights, and then watching kids run around the gym?”
“I detect sarcasm, young lady.”
“Oh, you do, huh? Well, maybe just a little.” I chuckled.
“I’ll have you know, I was referring to seeing you.”
“Oh.” I giggled and blushed. “Whatever you say, Mr. Manly Man.”
He squeezed my neck in the crook of his arm, and leaned his face down to my ear. “Don’t make me hurt you on your birthday.” His voice was soft and seductive, and I thought I’d die before we reached our spot under the oaks. Fantasizing about him hurting me caused me to reach the tenth level of crazy. Oh, my dear great God! Please, Jackson, hurt me!
Beyond the tennis courts, out past the practice fields, behind the fence where the campus ends and the woods began, was our sanctuary, the oak grove. Away from everything and everyone. No noise, no distractions, no people. Each day during lunch, we ate our sandwiches under the sprawling oak trees. It was our spot. Jackson carved our initials into the biggest oak at the start of our junior year, “to make it official,” he said. R and J. My heart nearly burst that day. It was the sweetest gesture, and although simple, it seemed to solidify our relationship.
I practically swallowed my sandwich whole because eating got in the way of snuggling up to Jackson. When we were done with our lunch, we laid back against the old oak tree and stared at the sky, enjoying our escape from responsibility and all forms of authority. Often, on days like today, when it was so beautiful out, I imagined we were in a magical place far, far away—the kind of place you read about in fairy tales. I closed my eyes to envision us there, laughing, dancing, kissing. Lying next to Jackson, it was easy for my mind to drift off to that perfect world.
As I nestled my head on his shoulder, he placed his hand on my leg and leaned his cheek against me. When I felt him inhale deeply, I smiled. The breeze stirred the trees, creating a soothing, rustling sound through the leaves. Neither one of us moved or even spoke for the longest time, enjoying the intimacy of the moment. Then Jackson finally broke the silence.
“Rebecca?”
“Yeah?”
“Isn’t this great?” he asked.
“What?”
“This. Just this. Right here. Right now.”
“Yes, it is,” I sighed. “It’s absolutely perfect.”
“Just you and me.”
“Just you and me,” I echoed.
“I love it here.” His voice was barely above a whisper.
“Me too.” I grinned.
“I don’t want this moment to ever end.”
I pondered the thought. “I don’t want it to ever end, either, Jackson.”
We lay there quiet again. Our only movement was the rise and fall of our chests with every breath. I closed my eyes and was swept away. All I wanted was Jackson. Forever. I opened my eyes to the clear blue sky and made a wish on a star I could not see. I wished one day Jackson and I would be together, sharing tender moments like this, living our lives as husband and wife, building a home together, a family, and making sweet, wonderful memories, till the end of time. I wished on that star with all my heart. Though not visible, I knew it was out there. The sky held it hidden away just for me, safe from anyone else’s wishes. That great, magical sky, the color of bleached denim, so serene, so beautiful, that held the stars and the sun and all the planets, would hold my wish too. I breathed a sigh of hope and closed my eyes again.
A gentle breeze kept us cool and comfortable while the sun warmed our bodies. My thoughts were consumed by Jackson. Moments we’d shared flooded my mind. Special moments, unforgettable moments. It seemed like just yesterday, we were little kids, riding our bikes and catching tadpoles in the creek. And yet, here we were, on the verge of graduating. It became clear to me what that meant––changes, a whole lotta changes.
The security of always having Jackson around would soon be another one of my memories. No more ball games, no more riding to school together, no more lunches under the oaks, and no more moments like this, snuggled in his embrace. I realized the “right here, right now” Jackson was talking about was, in fact, already a memory. It was gone, and there was no rewind, no do-over.
I pressed my face against him, soaking in the moment. I wanted to feel it, cherish it, remember it, forever. My heart yearned for him, and I realized if “right here, right now” never came again, I’d miss the chance to tell Jackson how I felt, how much I loved him. But when I opened my mouth to speak, there was only silence. I felt paralyzed. Was it fear? Fear of losing this moment, or fear of being rejected? I took a deep breath and swallowed, then tried to speak once more.
“Jackson?” My voice was shaky and weak.
“Yes?” he breathed.
I deliberately waited, letting several seconds tick by, hoping my heart would stop pounding so violently and praying I’d find the courage to be completely honest.
“Do you know what I like most about you?”
“Hmm.” He hesitated a moment. “My body.”
His tone told me he was smiling, and I instantly felt a wave of relief. “Besides that,” I chuckled.
He reached up with his other hand and stroked my arm with his fingertips. “My charm.”
“Well, yes.” I melted against him. “But besides those extraordinary qualities.”
He squeezed my leg, sending bolts of electricity straight to my core. “Why don’t you tell me.”
I took a breath and held it, finding it difficult to say the words out loud.
“Tell me, Rebecca,” he whispered.
I breathed out and felt his body shift. My heart raced, but I forced myself to answer. “It’s…how you make me feel. When I’m with you, you make me feel special. I feel…important, like I’m enough.” I searched for the words as I chewed my bottom lip. “You make me feel wanted. Like I mean something to you.”
I couldn’t think clearly enough to explain my feelings any further. My words were lost. If only Jackson could read my mind, then he would understand, then he would realize the extent of my love for him. I fell silent and waited for his response, which seemed to take an eternity.
“Rebecca,” he finally whispered, “you are wanted. More than you know. And you are very special,” he said tenderly, squeezing my leg again. “You are the most important person in the world to me. Don’t you know that? To me, you will always be enough.” His voice was velvet and warmed me like a thousand suns.
I lifted my face towards him. When our eyes met, the moment took my breath away. I’d never felt this close to him, physically, emotionally, sensually. I was caught up in the magic of his touch, his words, his gaze. I was aroused.
He reached over and gently guided a loose strand of my hair away from my eyes with his fingertips, tucking it behind my ear. The pleasure his touch brought me was indescribable. His thumb traced across my jaw and brushed against the edge of my b
ottom lip. My eyes closed in response.
I sucked in an audible breath, relishing the moment. His tenderness, his touch. I felt his fingers caress my cheek and then rest on the side of my neck. My breath quickened as he slid his fingers through my hair and around the back of my head. Excitement spread over my body. Tingles of heat danced in my stomach and ran down between my legs.
When I opened my eyes, Jackson was looking at me with an intensity I’d never seen before. His eyes were dark sapphires, deep, hungry. Slowly, he leaned in closer, locking his gaze with mine. My heart thumped in my ears. Goose bumps covered my arms. His scent was intoxicating. I could feel his breath on my face. So warm, so entrancing. I closed my eyes again, yearning to feel his lips on mine, aching for him to touch me.
“Rebecca.” He was so close, I felt my name as much as I heard it.
“Jackson.” I breathed out as his lips brushed against mine ever so lightly. I wanted him to kiss me hard. This moment wouldn’t come again. Right here, right now. “Please,” I whispered, and slowly opened my eyes.
“Rebecca,” he breathed my name, clenching my hair.
I raised my mouth toward him and closed my eyes in surrender.
Then the bell rang.
I couldn’t concentrate. Two entire periods had gone by and part of another and I did nothing but think about Jackson. Frustrated and confused, I replayed every word, every movement, every detail over and over. My mind was in turmoil. Why hadn’t he kissed me? The opportunity was there. And the feeling was there. Dear God. That feeling. I was still sensing the heat. The fact that I hadn’t gotten my birthday surprise wasn’t even an issue anymore. I couldn’t get Jackson’s lips off my mind, and there was nothing I could do about it. There was nothing I wanted to do about it. If he only knew how long I’d waited for our first kiss.
“Attention, students!” I was jolted back to reality by the sound of a man’s voice over the intercom. “This is your principal, Mr. Walton, speaking. Listen up, Eagles.” It was the last period of the day, but much too early for afternoon announcements. Mr. Walton continued, “I’d like to call everyone down to the auditorium for a short assembly. Teachers, if you will, kindly pardon this interruption, and please escort your students to the auditorium at this time.”
Mr. Walton was a tall man, a little on the skinny side, with gentle brown eyes and salt-and-pepper hair. He always wore a suit and tie, and was incredibly handsome and actually pretty cool, for a principal. From the distant sound of drums, he was about to give the track team a send-off. This meet was a big deal, as it determined who would move on to the state championship. We were up against one of our biggest rivals, the Eastmond Sharks, so the atmosphere was electric.
As I exited the library and headed toward the auditorium, I saw my other bestie. “Katie!” I yelled, waving my hand high to get her attention.
She turned around and stretched her neck, looking for me through the crowd. “Hey!” she yelled and backed against the wall. I caught up with her, and we made our way to the assembly as the drumline played the fight song.
After everyone entered the auditorium, Mr. Walton greeted the student body and invited the track and field team to join him on the stage. He offered his congratulations for an outstanding season, then passed the microphone to Coach Randal, who welcomed everyone to the big meet before introducing Jackson as the team captain.
The entire auditorium came alive when Jackson took the microphone. My heart flipped in my chest when he looked directly at me and winked. I tried to steady my breathing as all the memories of lunch came flooding through my mind again.
“Hello, everyone.” Jackson greeted the crowd.
A group of girls responded with hoots and some of the basketball and football players whistled.
Jackson grinned bashfully. “I just wanna say how much I appreciate everyone’s support. Without our awesome fans, we wouldn’t be here today.” His gaze traveled to me again. “This may possibly be my last track meet, and I can’t express how much your encouragement has meant. Seniors,” he continued as he turned to face his team, “you’re my classmates and my teammates, but you’ll forever be my brothers and sisters. It’s been an honor sharing the victories and defeats with you. You’ve inspired me more than you’ll ever know. You’ve helped me grow as an athlete, as a leader, and as a friend. It’s been a fun ride, and I wouldn’t change a thing. But we’ve got some work to do today, and I say let’s finish what we started.” Jackson high-fived his teammates as the crowd roared.
Finish what we started. Yes, Jackson, we do need to finish what we started. Please, let’s finish! I glanced at Katie, who was studying me intently. I felt my body tense, so I quickly returned my gaze to Jackson.
“I’d like to personally invite you all to today’s meet,” he said. “It would be an honor to have you, our fans, our family, support us one last time.” His eyes slightly narrowed and took on a mischievous look as they met mine. “One more thing. I need a big favor from you guys.” His tone softened as the crowd settled. “Today’s a very special day.” His smile widened. “Today is the most beautiful girl in the whole world’s birthday.”
I gulped and immediately felt the blood drain from my body. Oh, no! Please, Jackson, no! I glanced at Katie and noticed the corners of her mouth were turned up. My brows furrowed as the ball of emotion in my throat grew.
Jackson continued, “I’d really appreciate it if everyone would join me in singing “Happy Birthday” to my best friend, Rebecca Sharp.”
A whimper escaped me as I snapped my head back around to Jackson’s enormous grin.
“Rebecca, would you please stand?” His eyes twinkled.
This was his surprise? This? I was mortified. What was he doing? Had he lost his mind? Did he expect me to stand in front of the entire school?
“Come on, Rebecca, don’t be shy,” he coaxed.
Apparently, he did. And so did everyone else. The entire auditorium seemed to be glaring at me. Random voices yelling my name urged me to stand as chants grew louder.
My cheeks instantly flamed. A cold chill ran across my shoulders and down my spine. I looked back at Katie, hoping she would snap her fingers and make me disappear, but no luck. She practically pushed me out of my seat. Then, to my surprise, two boys approached me carrying a huge bouquet of pink roses and a great big teddy bear with three helium balloons tied to its paw. I was speechless. Jackson was right, it was an epic surprise.
I lifted my eyes to see him beaming with pride. I wanted to hug him, thank him, kiss him, but I was frozen. All I could do was stand there holding my gifts and smile.
Jackson took a step forward and began to sing. “Happy birthday to you… Happy birthday to you... Happy birthday, dear Rebecca...”
Everyone had joined in at this point, which was funny, I thought, because half the crowd didn’t know me, and many of them didn’t even like me. But of course, it was Jackson’s idea. He had requested it––the football hero, the team captain, the All-Star, the hottest guy in the whole freaking school, so why wouldn’t the entire student body sing to me?
Mr. Walton and Coach Randal had stepped up to join Jackson on the mike. “Hap… py… birth… daaay… tooo… youuu…”
Once again, the crowd roared, and the drumline went to town. My eyes were locked on Jackson’s. My face was burning hot, but my trembling hands were ice cold.
As he lowered the microphone, he blew me a kiss and slowly mouthed the words, “I love you.”
I gasped. Jackson had never told me that before. My heart was beating so violently in my chest, I was certain it was about to explode. I felt an overwhelming desire to run to him, throw my arms around him, and kiss him all over his face.
Mr. Walton’s muffled voice vibrated through the speakers again, and the cheering began to fade. I felt a gentle tug on my shirt. Katie. She pulled me back to my seat and patted my knee. My thoughts blurred. Did Jackson really mean those words? Did he love me? I had to know. What if he did? Things would never be the same between us. Wa
s it worth the risk? I decided right then and there, it was. He needed to finish what he started.
Chapter Eleven
Jackson
Tuesday, May 8, 1990 ~ Running Out of Time
Well shit! Epic surprise, dumbass! As I listened to Mr. Walton babble, I stared at the floor, grinding my teeth. What was I thinking, putting Rebecca on the spot, and making her stand in front of everyone? She’ll never love me after this. Hell, she probably won’t even want to be friends anymore. All the years of hiding my emotions, fearful of scaring her off, just to go and blow it on her birthday.
“Of all fucking days,” I mumbled.
My buddy Andrew was standing next to me. “You say something?” he whispered.
I pressed my lips together and shook my head as I let my mind drift. I’d loved Rebecca ever since the first day I laid eyes on her. I remember riding my bike up and seeing her in that bucket and thinking she was the prettiest girl I’d ever seen in my life. She was so nice. Her whole family was nice. And then she kissed me on the cheek. She stole my heart that very day, and I’d wanted to make her mine ever since.
Other than keeping my thoughts to myself, I had no clue what I should do. Rebecca seemed happy about the flowers, but she lost color after that. Maybe the teddy bear and balloons were too much. Shit, maybe it was my singing. I had to find out. Check on her. But Mr. Walton was still blabbering. I was restless, impatient, and in agony. The assembly was taking too damn long.
“Shit!” I huffed.
Andrew grunted and elbowed me in the ribs.
I folded my arms and dropped my chin, studying my shoes. I certainly didn’t have the nerve to look at Rebecca. “Come on,” I groaned.
“Dude! Shut up!” Andrew scolded.
I gave him a go-to-hell look just as Mr. Walton gave the dismissal. “Thank God,” I grumbled, and ran toward the exit.
Worth the Risk Page 9