by H. Y. Hanna
I smiled to myself, reluctantly admiring the little creature’s resourcefulness. But how on earth had it survived all this time in her handbag? It had been over a week since Grace had come to the tearoom, and it looked remarkably plump and healthy. As I watched, I got a hint of an answer: the mouse sat poised on its hind legs, its tiny nose wriggling as it sniffed the air, then—almost faster than the eye could follow—it scurried down the side of the bag, jumped onto the desk, and darted to where Grace had set her empty plate down next to her bag. Its little paws came out and snatched a morsel of scone from the plate, then it dashed back to the safety of the bag, disappearing once more into its depths.
A moment later, the mouse popped up again with a self-satisfied expression on its little face and crumbs on its whiskers. I wanted to burst out laughing. So that’s what the clever rodent had been doing—living a life of luxury in Grace Lamont’s Chanel handbag and getting fat on cake and scones!
It sat up once more next to the bag handle and rubbed its paws over its face, then scurried down onto the desk again.
“Miss Rose?”
I realised that I had been watching the mouse, open-mouthed, for the last few minutes and hadn’t heard a word of what Grace Lamont had been saying.
“I’m sorry… er, pardon? Do you mind repeating that?” I said distractedly as I sneaked a glance at the desk again. The mouse had darted once more towards Grace’s plate but halfway there, it had paused, its nose twitching. Then it turned and scampered towards the bigger platter of scones sitting at the centre of the desk. As I watched in horrified fascination, it ran over the large old-fashioned blotter, past the expensive Venetian-glass paperweight, and through the folds of a linen napkin before finally arriving at the platter holding the scones. Reaching up with its tiny paws, it yanked a raisin off a scone and held it to its mouth, nibbling enthusiastically.
“MISS ROSE—IS THERE A PROBLEM?”
I jumped. “Uh… no! No, problem! Sorry… please go on.”
Grace glowered. “As I was saying: a lady is judged not only by her looks but by her manners and composure too. No matter how great the provocation, a lady should never react with undue emotion. She must always keep her voice low, her behaviour restrained, and she must never indulge in hysterics.” She reached idly for her cup of tea on the desk. “Most of all, a lady should meet any adversity with graceful aplomb and never a—aaaaiiiieeeeeeeeeee!”
She jerked back from the table, staring in horror at the furry little creature hunched next to her teacup.
“AAAAAAAAAGGGHHHH! MOUSE! MOUSE!” Grace Lamont screeched, demonstrating the exact way a lady reacted with graceful aplomb by clutching her skirt and hopping from foot to foot, screaming: “EEEEEEK! EEEEEEEEEK!”
The door to her office was flung open and the receptionist rushed in, a look of alarm on her face.
“Ms Lamont? Is something the matt—AAAAAAAAIIIIIIGGGHHH!! MOUSE! MOUSE!”
I watched in disbelief as the two women ran around the room like headless chickens, shrieking and flapping their arms. Finally, taking pity on them, I picked up an empty teacup and, turning it upside down, clamped it over the mouse, which was still unconcernedly eating its raisin. Then I grabbed a piece of thick embossed paper from Grace’s desk and slid it under the overturned cup. Carefully, I lifted the whole thing from the desk and flipped it over, then I raised the edge of the paper and peeked in.
The mouse was there, its long tail curled around its plump brown body as it sat up and looked around. It had little rounded ears, bright black eyes, and a tiny pink nose surrounded by delicate whiskers. I smiled. I didn’t care what Dora said—it was adorable.
I placed a heavy book over the top of the teacup, then looked up. Grace and the receptionist were clutching each other, huddled in the corner, watching me with scared eyes.
“I’ll just take it outside, shall I?” I asked with a smile.
They nodded wordlessly. Wisps of hair had escaped their perfect buns, and they were flushed and dishevelled. I had to resist the urge to make a sarcastic comment about “ladylike composure in the face of adversity”.
Still, I couldn’t help feeling vindicated and superior (okay, I’m only human), as I slung my bag over my shoulder, picked up the mouse-trapped teacup (with poise) and strolled (gracefully) out of the room.
Don’t miss Gemma’s (and Muesli’s) next adventure in:
THE MOUSSE WONDERFUL TIME OF YEAR
(Oxford Tearoom Mysteries ~ Book 10)
Christmas Whodunnit Special
Showbiz comes to Oxford in the form of Britain's hottest new talent show, and tearoom owner Gemma Rose gets a peek behind-the-scenes when she's asked to cater for the event. But with the Old Biddies, entering the contest as England's first "granny band", and her little tabby, Muesli, stealing the limelight, Gemma soon ends up with more than she bargained for... and that's before she comes across a frozen dead body!
Now, she's on the trail of a murderer, with four nosy old ladies giving her a helping hand, while also dealing with her embarrassing mother, her workaholic boyfriend--and even a mouse invader at her tearoom!
With things heating up in the contest and so many suspects in the running, can Gemma catch the killer before the curtain falls?
READ MORE:
AMAZON | AMAZON UK
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Have you read all the books in the Oxford Tearoom Mysteries?
All-Butter ShortDead (Prequel)
A Scone to Die For (Book 1)
Tea with Milk and Murder (Book 2)
Two Down, Bun To Go (Book 3)
Till Death Do Us Tart (Book 4)
Muffins and Mourning Tea (Book 5)
Four Puddings and a Funeral (Book 6)
Another One Bites the Crust (Book 7)
Apple Strudel Alibi (Book 8)
The Dough Must Go On (Book 9)
The Mousse Wonderful Time of Year (Book 10)
~ more coming soon!
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR
H.Y. Hanna is an award-winning mystery and suspense writer and the author of the bestselling Oxford Tearoom Mysteries. She has also written romantic suspense and sweet romance, as well as a children's middle-grade mystery series. After graduating from Oxford University with a BA in Biological Sciences and a MSt in Social Anthropology, Hsin-Yi tried her hand at a variety of jobs, before returning to her first love: writing.
She worked as a freelance journalist for several years, with articles and short stories published in the UK, Australia and NZ, and has won awards for her novels, poetry, short stories and journalism.
A globe-trotter all her life, Hsin-Yi has lived in a variety of cultures, from Dubai to Auckland, London to New Jersey, but is now happily settled in Perth, Western Australia, with her husband and a rescue kitty named Muesli. You can learn more about her (and the real-life Muesli who inspired the cat character in the story) and her other books at: www.hyhanna.com.
Sign up to her mailing list to be notified about new releases, exclusive giveaways and other book news: http://www.hyhanna.com/newsletter
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GLOSSARY OF BRITISH TERMS
This book follows British English spelling and usage. eg. “he had got” not “gotten”.
Bloody – very common adjective used as an intensifier for both positive and negative qualities (e.g. “bloody awful” and “bloody wonderful”), often used to express shock or disbelief (“Bloody Hell!”)
Boffin – a person with specialist knowledge or skill, usually in science and technology, but often used in the sense of “a nerd”
Bollocks! – rubbish, nonsense, an exclamation expressing contempt
Bugger! – an exclamation of annoyance or dismay
Bum – the behind (American: butt)
Carpark – a place to park vehicles (American: parking lot)
Council estate hous
ing – cheap housing provided by the government for those on low income
Clotted cream - a thick cream made by heating full-cream milk using steam or a water bath and then leaving it in shallow pans to cool slowly. Typically eaten with scones and jam for “afternoon tea”
(to) Give a stuff – to care, usually used in the negative sense (eg. “I really couldn’t give a stuff!” = I really don’t care.)
Guv’nor - an informal term for one’s boss or someone in a position of authority (particularly used in the police force to refer to a higher ranking officer); occasionally still used as a respectful term of address
(to) Have (someone) on – to deceive or fool someone, often in a teasing context (eg. “Are you having me on?” = “Are you kidding me?”)
Hammered – very drunk
Hotchpotch – a confused mixture (American: hodgepodge)
Ice-lolly – sweet frozen treat (American: popsicle)
Knackered – very tired, exhausted (can also mean “broken” when applied to a machine or object); comes from the phrase “ready for the knacker’s yard”—where old horses were slaughtered and the by-products sent for rendering, different from a slaughterhouse where animals are killed for human consumption)
Let the side down – to fail to do your bit as part of a team, to disappoint your colleagues or team members
Loo – toilet; “loo bowl” = toilet bowl
(To not have a) Look-in – to not have a chance to do something or to succeed
MI6 – the British Secret Intelligence Service
Mingin’ (minging) – derogatory slang term to describe something very unattractive or unpleasant
Natter – to gossip, have a friendly chat
Plonker – an idiot
Posh – high class, fancy
Queue – an orderly line of people waiting for something (American: line)
(to) Ring – to call (someone on the phone)
Row – an argument (pronounced to rhyme with “cow”)
RSPCA - The Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals; the largest animal welfare charity in the UK
(to have a) Run-in (with something or someone) – an unpleasant encounter, usually referring to an argument
Shag – (v) to have sexual intercourse with or (n) the act; shagging
Stroppy – grumpy and irritable (often used in conjunction with “cow” to describe a bad-tempered woman who is unpleasant and unlikable)
(to) Take the micky – to joke about something, similar to “pull my leg”
Telly – television
Torch – a portable battery-powered electric lamp. (American: flashlight. NOTE – different from the American usage of “torch” which is a blowlamp)
Totty – a slang term for an attractive, sexually desirable woman
Vicar – a member of the clergy in the Church of England (similar to American pastor, minister)
Whinge – to moan and complain (usually in an annoying way)
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Special terms used in Oxford University:
College - one of thirty or so institutions that make up the University; all students and academic staff have to be affiliated with a college and most of your life revolves around your own college: studying, dining, socialising. You are, in effect, a member of a College much more than a member of the University. College loyalties can be fierce and there is often friendly rivalry between nearby colleges. The colleges also compete with each other in various University sporting events.
Don / Fellow – a member of the academic staff / governing body of a college (equivalent to “faculty member” in the U.S.) – basically refers to a college’s tutors. “Don” comes from the Latin, dominus—meaning lord, master.
Quad – short for quadrangle: a square or rectangular courtyard inside a college; walking on the grass is usually not allowed.
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DARK CHOCOLATE & ORANGE SCONES RECIPE
(created and kindly donated by Kim McMahan Davis - Cinnamon and Sugar… and a Little Bit of Murder Blog)
It’s often said that Great Britain and the United States are two nations divided by a common language—and this is true of their scones too!
The quintessential “afternoon tea” snack, English scones are round and compact, light and fluffy on the inside, and crusty on the outside; they are not very sweet and are usually plain with no toppings (although they sometimes have sultanas embedded) as they are meant to be eaten with jam and clotted cream.
American scones, in contrast, are usually larger and denser, with more butter and sugar, and are normally made with variety of ingredients added to the dough, such as spices, fruits, nuts, and even chocolate. They come in an amazing range of flavours—limited only by your imagination!
You can find the recipe for traditional English scones at the end of A SCONE TO DIE FOR (Oxford Tearoom Mystery ~ Book 1) but since this story featured scones too, I thought it would be fun to provide an American scone recipe for comparison. This delicious recipe has been specially created by the talented Kim McMahan Davis of the Cinnamon and Sugar… and a Little Bit of Murder Blog and features an eternally popular combo: tangy orange and dark chocolate!
INGREDIENTS:
Scones
2 cups (272 grams) all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon sea salt
1/3 cup (72 grams) granulated sugar
Zest from 1 large orange
1/2 cup (112 grams) unsalted butter, cut into small pieces and frozen
1/2 cup (108 grams) sour cream
2 tablespoons orange juice
1 egg
1-1/2 ounces (42 grams) dark chocolate, chopped
Chocolate Orange Drizzle
2 ounces (56 grams) dark chocolate, chopped
1/2 teaspoon vegetable shortening
1/4 teaspoon orange extract
INSTRUCTIONS
Scones
1) Preheat oven to 425 degrees (F) or 218 degrees (C). Line a baking sheet with parchment paper.
2) Whisk together until smooth the sour cream, egg, and orange juice. Set aside.
3) In the bowl of a food processor, pulse together until combined (about 10 pulses) flour, baking powder, baking soda, salt, sugar, and orange zest.
4) Sprinkle the frozen butter pieces over the top of the flour mixture, then pulse until the mixture resembles coarse meal.
5) Add the sour cream mixture to the flour mixture and pulse just until the dough comes together. Be careful to not over process the dough.
6) Turn out onto a lightly floured surface. Sprinkle the chopped chocolate over the dough then gently knead into the mix. Again, be careful to not overwork the dough or it will toughen.
7) Place the dough onto the parchment-lined baking sheet and pat into an 8-inch circle. Cut into 8 wedges and move them slightly apart.
8) Bake 12 - 15 minutes. The scones should be golden and the center should look set. Cool scones on a wire cooling rack while preparing the glaze.
Chocolate Orange Glaze
1) Place the chocolate and vegetable shortening into a microwave-safe bowl. Heat on 70% power for 45 seconds. Stir. Heat in additional 20 second increments as needed, stirring after each heat cycle until chocolate is melted and smooth.
2) Mix in the orange extract and stir until smooth.
3) Drizzle the chocolate over the scones. Allow to set for 15 minutes then serve.
Enjoy!
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ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
A big thank you to Kim McMahan Davis of Cinnamon and Sugar… and a Little Bit of Murder blog, for creating a special scone recipe especially for this book and allowing me to share it with my readers!
Thank you also to Cat and Jon for their brilliant help in brainstorming title puns and for coming up with the title for this book.
I am very grateful, as always, to my beta readers: Connie Leap and Basma Alwesh, for their invaluable feedback that helps so much in polishing th
e first draft of the book. My thanks as always to my editor, Chandler Groover and proofreader, Heather Belleguelle—I feel very lucky to have the support of such a fantastic team.
And of course, to my wonderful husband, for his help in brainstorming titles, tackling plot holes and for always finding time to encourage and support me.
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Copyright © 2018 by H.Y. Hanna
All rights reserved.
ISBN-13: 978-0-6481449-9-1
www.hyhanna.com
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, business establishments, persons or animals, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
This book is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or otherwise, without written permission from the author. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author