It was odd. Elizabeth now wanted to defend Jane. She went to Bingley because she was desperate and discouraged. She didn’t deserve to be called a whore. She didn’t deserve to be unhappy.
It was all her fault too. There was so many signs Jane had been unhappy and contemplating a desperate move. Elizabeth should have been more understanding. She had not been a good sister. She hadn’t seen how Jane was hurt, and how she felt. Jane always embraced Elizabeth and held her when she cried.
Jane claimed she was happy with Bingley — but was she really? Would it last? Surely sin could not be rewarded. Elizabeth wondered whether she would be happy if…when she became Darcy’s mistress? Or would it end in…untimely death or enduring unhappiness?
The conversation was dead again. Once again Mr. Gardiner interrupted the silence. “Perhaps the case is not hopeless. Lizzy, you know Mr. Bingley far better than either of us, how would he respond if I threatened to duel him if he did not marry Jane?”
“No — you can’t. Jane is the one who — it was her choice. Her choice. You cannot seek to punish Mr. Bingley.”
“What has that to do with the matter? This is an issue of the family honor. If I can restore it, I must.” Mr. Gardiner shook his head with a frown. “He is a young and vigorous man. He would accept the challenge, and I would apologize and look the coward. I shall not risk my life and my children’s welfare for a girl who chose to prostitute herself. Besides, he may see me as too far beneath him to take a challenge seriously."
Mrs. Gardiner spoke, “She made her choice. At least the scandal shall be long past when my own children reach marriageable age. Lizzy, Kitty, this shall hurt you both.”
Elizabeth said, “No, Jane did not worsen our prospects. The sister of a rich man’s mistress and a blacksmith has slightly better cachet than a woman who is just the sister of a blacksmith. Jane would not have gone off if she was seriously hurting us.”
“Elizabeth Bennet.” Mr. Gardiner stood and towered over her. “I shall hear no kind word for Jane from you again. Not if you wish to stay in my house. You will not call on Miss Darcy tomorrow. You absolutely cannot — you know that.”
“I shall. I am absolutely determined.”
Elizabeth rose, and stared at the taller person of her uncle defiantly.
Mr. Gardiner said, “I shall not permit it. He has already asked you to become his mistress, and he is a friend of Mr. Bingley’s. The entire acquaintance must be dropped.”
“I promised to be Georgiana’s friend.”
Mr. Gardiner tugged at his sideburns. “Lizzy, be reasonable. Mr. Darcy likely hopes to seduce you now that you have Jane’s example to follow. I will not have it.”
“He could hardly plan to make me his mistress if he encourages a friendship with his sister. You should be reasonable.”
“Lizzy, if you insist on calling on Mr. Darcy, I shall be not let you remain in my house.”
“Then throw me out.” Elizabeth began crying, yet again. “I was a terrible sister, and I am horrid person, and I shall find Jane and beg her to let me stay. But no matter what, I will call on Georgiana tomorrow morning.”
Mrs. Gardiner laid her hand on her husband’s arm and said, “All right, Lizzy, I shall chaperone you. At no time will you be out of my presence. And we will not encourage any intimacy with them. It shall be a brief call, and not to be repeated.”
Elizabeth knew that Mrs. Gardiner only permitted this because she was concerned with Elizabeth’s state of mind.
The next morning Mrs. Gardiner begged Elizabeth to change her mind and send a letter with her apologies to Miss Darcy. “It does no good to expose yourself to him. Even if he does not plan to make such an offer again, you shall only torture yourself.”
“I do not care for him more than I ought.”
“He is to be married. I do not know what you expect to happen. He never was concerned for you.”
Elizabeth was fully prepared to walk across the three miles’ distance to Grosvenor square. The maid, Ruth, had spent a half hour helping her get her curls just right this morning, exclaiming the entire time about how very handsome the gentleman had been. The sharp breeze would make her look quite disheveled by the time such a walk was over.
Some instinct kept Elizabeth from making such a break with her aunt and uncle before it was necessary.
Elizabeth did not defend Mr. Darcy. She repeated that she had promised to call upon Georgiana, and she would call upon Georgiana.
In the carriage on the way, Mrs. Gardiner said, “We shall only stay for the length of a polite call. A quarter of an hour, a half at most. We shall not suggest that a return visit is desired. Do you understand, Elizabeth?”
“Yes. I understand.”
Mrs. Gardiner stared hard at her.
“I will do as you wish,” Elizabeth lied.
The house looked even bigger this morning. The square was extremely fashionable, and the clothes of the pedestrians were extravagant and rich. Elizabeth got out, and admired the marble columns of the façade and the fine even brickwork. In the large garden in the middle of the square there were oak trees, and elm trees, and many other varieties, some Elizabeth did not recognize. Hopefully she would have a chance to walk through the garden once or twice before matters had progressed to the point where a discreet distance must be kept from Darcy’s primary residence.
Seeing his house in the bright clear morning sun helped her to focus on how distant they were from each other. Since marriage between two such people was clearly impossible, it must be permitted for them to form other arrangements if they fell in love.
Upon entering the drawing room, Georgiana and Elizabeth by some mutual instinct immediately embraced. Georgiana exclaimed, “I shall expect you to stay here for a quite long call. I have so much I wish to learn about you.”
“And I wish to visit with you for just as long; we have no plans; we intended to stay for at least an hour or two.”
Elizabeth did not dare look at Mrs. Gardiner to see how she took it. Elizabeth was not quite sure what she would do if her aunt decided to drag her away. She would probably stay.
Darcy was in the room, and his dark hair fell over the clean white skin of his forehead. His white neck cloth was folded in perfect folds. Soon she would be able pull her fingers through his hair and wreck the work of his valet.
He greeted Mrs. Gardiner first, with his brightest smile and an exclaimed, “You look very well, ma’am. I am so eager for us to become friends.”
Mrs. Gardiner replied in a frigid voice, “Likewise.”
Darcy took Elizabeth’s hand, and half smiled at her, and then dropped her hand. He seemed not to know what he wished to say. His intense blue eyes lingered on her face. They showed his feelings.
When they went to sit down, there was a moment of confusion as both Elizabeth and Georgiana wished to have Elizabeth seated next to Darcy, while Mrs. Gardiner succeeded in placing herself between them.
The drawing room was huge. She had not realized that the ceiling went up more than twenty feet the previous day. There were large paintings along the walls, and a collection of live plants, kept green by some method despite the season, on the edges of the rooms. Sweet smelling flowers were in the middle of the small tables, and a huge grand piano sat gleaming in one corner.
Elizabeth smiled at Georgiana who was on her other side, “What shall we talk about?”
Mrs. Gardiner managed to make the conversation which followed painful and awkward. Every time Darcy said something to amuse Elizabeth, she glared at him and harrumphed. Darcy tried to charm Mrs. Gardiner, and when that completely failed, he tried to impress her with his good sense.
However, Mrs. Gardiner absolutely refused to support the conversation, but Elizabeth realized there was something frightened in the tense way her aunt studied how she and Darcy interacted. Slowly Darcy became more silent and a little withdrawn.
Georgiana talked freely at first, though she completely directed her conversation to Elizabeth or her brother, but g
radually she also became silent. Elizabeth found herself talking for most of the time in a nervous chatter. She told stories about books she had read and things she had done and despite the tension made Georgiana giggle at times.
At some point though a silence fell. Georgiana stared hesitantly at her hands, while Darcy frowned at Mrs. Gardiner and rubbed his forehead. Elizabeth could see that her aunt was gathering herself to suggest they leave.
In a rush Elizabeth looked at the piano and exclaimed, “What a fabulous instrument! I have never seen its like.”
Roused to a renewed enthusiasm, Georgiana exclaimed, “Oh, do you play, Lizzy? It would be ever so much fun to do a duet.”
“I would love that, but I play dreadfully. I am the worst of piano players.” Defying her aunt once more, Elizabeth winsomely smiled at Darcy, and said, “You told me so direct when I was fishing for a compliment one evening. Was that not unbelievably ungallant of him?”
Mrs. Gardiner said, “I do not know that we have time for you to play a duet.”
Elizabeth replied in a fey manner, “Nonsense. Remember we have no plans for the rest of the day.”
Georgiana said, “That does sound unbelievably ungallant of my brother. Methinks there might be more to the story.”
Darcy looked interested. “Which evening was this? I recall admiring you excessively when you played.”
“Yes, you admired me while I played.”
Mrs. Gardiner gave a harrumph. Elizabeth screwed up her face in annoyance, then she stood and exclaimed, “The only way for me to prove how bad I am is for us to play a duet!”
Darcy would watch her, and she and Georgiana would actually be able to talk.
As Elizabeth settled on the bench next to Georgiana, she said, “Now you must promise to not become annoyed and dreadfully impatient at how poorly I play. Though of course you shall become annoyed and impatient.”
Georgiana found a simple piece of sheet music with an easy duet, and then ran her fingers up and down the keys in a flourish to warm up. “Oh everyone plays worse than I. So I am quite used to that.”
“False modesty is not one of your defects.”
“One should always face the world as it is. Even if that makes you sound boastful. You would not suggest I be dishonest.”
Elizabeth laughed. She studied the music, which was a familiar piece and began to play her part. Her fingers moved a little uncomfortably, but it was easy enough that she managed. “I have received some really delightful compliments through insulting myself. You should try it. Though they are the most delightful when you really do not deserve the compliment.”
Darcy was watching her, and Elizabeth missed a few notes as she sat straighter to preen. She did not dare grin at him, as Mrs. Gardiner was watching.
Georgiana said, as she effortlessly ran her fingers up and down the ivory keys, “You lied when you claimed you could not play. You play delightfully.”
Elizabeth glanced sideways at the mischievously grinning girl. The loss of concentration made her miss a few more notes.
“Your brother insulted my playing in a far handsomer manner.”
“I said you played delightfully.”
Elizabeth suppressed her giggles. She could see that Darcy was pleased to watch her laugh with his sister.
“Did he say some nonsense about how he loved to watch you play so much that it didn’t matter how much you fudged? I shall insist you practice somewhat more. Even if you are pretty enough to deserve that praise, it does not take any great time to become barely passable.”
“You hope for us to play more duets?”
Georgiana flipped the page to the next, as her other hand kept the melody. “We both love to read, so why not both love to play.”
It already was unlikely that Mrs. Gardiner or Darcy could hear what they were saying, seated on the sofas, but Georgiana lowered her voice and whispered to Elizabeth. “My governess, she has always been my dearest friend, and she has been my uncle’s mistress since a year or two after she came to us. I knew all along.”
So that was what was meant by an unconventional education. Or at least part of it. Growing more used to playing again, Elizabeth’s fingers easily kept the slow pace.
Georgiana added, “So you see, I can happily keep company with anyone, even if they are quite unrespectable.”
“You want me to become even less respectable?” Elizabeth laughingly said, “Bingley was right, you do say things no one would expect to hear from a well-bred girl.”
“That’s because I’m not. It is dreadfully boring to pretend I am well-bred. It would be the death of me by ennui if I had to be one.”
“You put up such a fine pretense. No one could ever see through it.”
Georgiana giggled at Elizabeth’s dry tone. “Is that a reference to my praise of your piano playing, for I do apologize for ever saying anything kind about it. It was not nice of me.”
Elizabeth actually laughed at that, breaking the pretty tune, which by ill luck had moved into a more difficult point. Elizabeth stopped playing, unsure which key to hit next, and for fifteen seconds Georgiana played both parts without the least strain.
As she waited for the crescendo to end and the melody to return to an easier point, Elizabeth said, “We really will get along well. Not just because you are Darcy’s sister.”
Georgiana blushed at that and looked at Elizabeth with a shy smile that reminded Elizabeth that the girl was only sixteen.
While continuing to play perfectly, Georgiana whispered quickly, “He does love you, even if he is too stupid to say it. He has been in a terrible mood the entire time. Fitzwilliam would take good care of you, and even though you wouldn’t be married you might stay together your entire lives. Uncle Charlie will never look for a new mistress. I do so want to see him happy, and you would be happy too.”
She had come here with the intention of finding a chance to tell Darcy she would be his mistress. But Elizabeth’s stomach crawled with sudden anxiety.
When Elizabeth did not reply, Georgiana whispered worriedly, “Please do not be offended. And if you wish to say something to Fitzwilliam, I would take any message. I don’t see why you praised your aunt so high. She is quite terrifying. You cannot speak to him directly with her present, though you do keep looking at him.”
Elizabeth took a deep shaky breath. She whispered, “I am not despaired of gaining a chance to speak with him direct myself.”
This time Georgiana made a completely uncharacteristic mistake, and she stopped playing for a moment. She stared at Elizabeth with a bright grin. Elizabeth elbowed her, and Georgiana realized Mrs. Gardiner was scowling at them and began to play again.
Georgiana whispered to Elizabeth in her girlish voice, “Oh, you really mean it? You shall become Fitzwilliam’s mistress? You have changed your mind?”
Elizabeth smiled and gave a tiny nod, which she hoped her aunt would not notice. Saying it to Georgiana was a promise she would go through with it. Her stomach settled and she felt light through her limbs.
He sat smiling at her.
Georgiana enthused, “We will be such good friends. Such good friends. I already like you more than I did Isabella, though we are friends.”
Elizabeth nodded, not particularly pleased by the reminder that Darcy had previous mistresses. It was half a reminder that he was to be married, which she absolutely did not wish to think about. She would feel dirty and wrong if she did. It could not change her determination to offer herself to Darcy in the slightest.
With a blush, Georgiana whispered, “Perhaps I should not have mentioned her, but you would not think that my brother has never…”
“I have met Mr. Wickham.” Elizabeth grinned. Now that Georgiana knew her plans, the happiness over having committed herself bubbled out crushing any annoyance. “He was quite eager to explain why he despised your brother so much.”
“Odious man. Bella wrote me that in the past month he has taken to writing her for money. But she just burns all the letters. He wo
n’t bother her in person though, since Uncle Charlie owns enough of his debts to throw him into debtor’s prison if he ever annoys us.”
“Oh.” Elizabeth said smilingly, “That is my fault. Your brother mentioned the settlement he made upon Miss Wickham to me, and then I accused Wickham of not telling me the entire story.”
Georgiana giggled. “No harm is done. That explanation will terribly amuse Bella.”
The door to the drawing room was opened suddenly, and a blonde young woman wearing a splendid blue riding habit rushed in.
Elizabeth immediately knew who she must be. She was beautiful, with a cloud of golden hair hanging around her head, a smart hat, clear skin, a straight back, and such a fine dress.
She immediately berated Darcy, her hands nervously wringing together. “Oh, I waited in Hyde Park for near an hour. You said we were to meet around eleven. I was so anxious when you did not appear. I broke my engagement with Miss Tyler, do you not remember? Because you asked me to. And I thought something dreadful must have happened for you to not appear. But you have been here this entire time. That is not like you. Not like you at all.”
An icy blizzard had quenched the bubbly happiness Elizabeth had felt moments before. Lady Margaret’s eyes were drawn together as though she were fighting tears. She pulled her arms tight against her sides and looked pleadingly at Darcy.
He stood up; his face was pale. If he embraced her and kissed her hand, Elizabeth would die inside. “I…I apologize, Lady Margaret. Our…engagement…it completely slipped my mind…”
“Oh! I begin to imagine you do not wish to spend time with me. But I know that cannot be true.”
Darcy’s eyes glanced away from his fiancée towards Elizabeth. Their eyes met. His face was pale and firm. It seemed an oddly long moment, and Elizabeth did not know what his eyes were saying. He turned back to his fiancée and said in his strong voice, “You must meet my guests, and then I need to speak with you in private.”
A Dishonorable Offer Page 27