The maid who opened the door was same girl who had opened the door when he came to the house with Elizabeth last night. She blushed and curtsied. “Forgive me, sir, but they ordered that neither you nor your sister are to be admitted.”
“Please, I must speak with Miss Elizabeth. She is here? She is well?”
The maid looked back into the house and then said in a quiet voice, “Miss Lizzy cried a great deal, and the mistress was terribly angry at her. Miss Lizzy asked me to bring her any message from you. But I cannot. It would be my position if the mistress found out, and Miss Lizzy is a good girl, even if things are so in a tangle. She has always been a real friend to me.”
Darcy smiled warmly at the servant, and the girl blushed and looked down. “Then is the master in? I must talk to him first.”
“Oh! You mean…”
“I do. I want to marry Elizabeth.”
The maid informed Darcy that Mr. Gardiner was in fact home, in the drawing room talking to his wife and Elizabeth. She then eagerly led him to the study so that he could meet with Mr. Gardiner.
The study was the first room off the hall to the right, very convenient if someone called on a matter of business and with an excellent view of the street.
Darcy sat down and looked about at the room. It was solidly, though not expensively, furnished. There were paintings about the walls, though Darcy could tell they had not been drawn by a master. The walls had yellow paper coverings and rows of bookcases dominated one wall. The fireplace was a simple white marble piece, with no carvings. There were a variety of foreign curiosities on the mantelpiece.
Minutes passed.
Then several more minutes.
Mr. Gardiner had long since received the message, and he’d had more than ample time to come to the study. He was either occupied by some matter of grave importance, or far more likely he’d decided to force Darcy to wait as a sign of his displeasure.
Rather than a collection of armchairs, the room had a half dozen simple wooden chairs with solidly colored velvet cushions. Some of them were blue and others were black. There were two windows. Each had two white painted pieces of wood going horizontally through them, and three going vertically. That made twelve little panes of glass for each window, and twenty-four in total.
Darcy checked his watch. The second half hour of his wait would commence in just another two minutes.
Darcy thought about counting how many books were on the shelf.
Mr. Gardiner must be planning to refuse consent to marry his niece. Or at least he was considering it. From their behavior, the couple likely knew about his first offer to Elizabeth.
He could go to Mrs. Bennet for permission. Darcy wrinkled his nose in disgust. Unless he had misread the woman’s character entirely, it would be trivial to get her approval.
To occupy himself Darcy walked about the room. Mr. Gardiner’s desk had a miniature portrait. Darcy picked it up. There were two girls and a young man wearing the clothes of several decades past. For a moment Darcy thought Elizabeth’s sister Jane was one of the women, but he then realized it was Mrs. Bennet as a girl. The other woman was Mrs. Phillips, and the young man was Mr. Gardiner.
Darcy looked at them, wondering if there were some sign in their eyes of what direction their life would go.
The door at last opened, and Darcy startled at being caught looking at Mr. Gardiner’s personal effects. He placed the miniature back down on the desk facing a different direction than it had at first. Darcy crushed the impulse to straighten it.
Mr. Gardiner closed the door and walked to the desk. There was an unpleasant snarl on the man’s face. Darcy greeted him, keeping any annoyance at having been kept waiting out his words and tone, and vigorously shook the older man’s hand.
Mr. Gardiner did not smile and, without saying a word, sat down behind his desk and gestured for Darcy to sit as well.
Darcy did so.
Mr. Gardiner stared at Darcy.
“Mr. Gardiner, I wish to ask for the hand of your niece, Elizabeth. I assure you my intentions are entirely honorable."
Mr. Gardiner stared at Darcy with the exact same expression. Darcy felt an urge to justify himself, and nearly began to speak, but a habit formed from years of negotiations as the master of Pemberley kept him from saying anything before he had thought.
Elizabeth’s uncle was playing the old negotiating game where whoever spoke first lost. The use of silence to see what someone might say as they became uncomfortable. Darcy added, “My engagement to Lady Margaret has been dissolved. I spoke with her father an hour ago, and I am now free to pursue my inclinations.”
Mr. Gardiner said nothing.
Darcy decided he had already said everything which needed to be said.
He held Mr. Gardiner’s gaze with a neutral face.
This continued for a full minute.
“I assure you, her happiness is my sole goal. You have some cause for an ill opinion of me, but I will act in a manner worthy of Elizabeth’s affection and your approval.”
Mr. Gardiner steepled his hands and frowned heavily over them.
Darcy sighed.
This was not a negotiation with a tenant, and he was not some criminal who did not want to confess his crime by accident to a justice of the peace. They all cared for Elizabeth, and she cared for them all. It was demeaning to be treated in this manner by the tradesman, but if he were to have the life he hoped for with Elizabeth he must see her as an equal, which meant he must see her connections as equal as well.
“Mr. Gardiner, I love Elizabeth. I will not hurt her. I will always act for her sake. If she should agree to marry me, I will fulfill all of the words of the marriage vows. I will love her, cherish her, and honor her. Conflict between us does her no good. Tell me what you fear.”
Mr. Gardiner leaned forward and laid his palms flat on the table. It was a gesture which pointed his elbows to the side and opened up his shoulders so that he looked larger. “I do not like you. I do not trust you. Everything I’ve learned of your family says that you are the worst sort of aristocrats. You are acting as a spoiled child who has never been denied anything. You have chosen to throw a tantrum to get the one toy which was not immediately handed to you.”
The man settled back and steepled his hands together again. Darcy forced his irritation and offended pride away. He would speak to Elizabeth, with or without Mr. Gardiner’s approval, but she valued her family greatly, and matters would be easier if he had his approval.
Darcy said with a forced mildness, “I have never been accused of throwing a tantrum to have my way. I still do not understand what you fear. I am offering Elizabeth an honorable position.”
Mr. Gardiner stiffened in a way that showed Darcy had said the wrong thing. “You are a fool if you think that just because a promise is honorable that it is then decent.”
What offended pride Darcy had withered away. He had wronged Lady Margaret with an honorable offer, and he had no right any longer to be annoyed when a man questioned his good judgement.
Mr. Gardiner said, “If you marry Lizzy, your fancied love will only last six months past the wedding, and then she would be tied forever to a man who cares nothing for her and who only thinks of his own pleasures.”
"Were I in your position, I would have your fears. Elizabeth deserves—”
“Miss Elizabeth."
“If you think I only value her person and not her character, you are the one to hold too low an opinion of your niece."
“If you cared for her character, you never would have made such a vile offer to her."
Darcy was not sure what to say.
He loved Elizabeth. He wished to marry her. She would be happy, and he needed in his heart to shout to society that she was his. He wanted to live with her at Pemberley, as his father had lived with his mother, and she would never be completely happy as his mistress. Even if she could be, he loved her too much to not marry her.
But Darcy was still too much of his uncle’s nephew to think
that asking her to enter his protection was vile.
Mr. Gardiner interrupted Darcy’s thinking. “I have no choice; her reputation and the reputation of all her sisters are already in tatters due to your friend Bingley. If she will accept you, I must give agreement. However, I will allow no term of engagement shorter than a full year. And I would expect settlements to be signed immediately, so that without recourse to the courts Elizabeth will receive compensation when you tire of her like you have your first fiancée."
“Tomorrow I will go to my solicitor and settle thirty thousand pounds irrevocably upon her. As to the length of the engagement, I will make no such agreement. I have sufficient understanding of my own character to know my affection for Elizabeth will not change in such a short span of time as a year.”
Mr. Gardiner blinked when Darcy named the sum. “Do not be ridiculous. Thirty thousand? If you are serious you only prove what I said about your carelessness. You cannot purchase my assent to advance the marriage. An engagement of a year is my demand, if you wish to see my niece."
“Thirty thousand is my sister’s fortune. I do not see settling a sum equal to that on Elizabeth as an excessive gesture of my affection. She deserves all. Unless Elizabeth wishes a long engagement, we will have the banns read Sunday next and marry after the three week’s period.”
“You already abandoned one woman. I would much rather that when you change your mind this time, it is before you are tied unbreakably by the church.”
Darcy grimaced. “My connection with Lady Margaret was a mistake, and I knew it to be one from the very first. Elizabeth is an entirely different matter. I will not respect your wishes in this matter.”
“You will not? What shall you do when I refuse permission? Will you elope, or will you tell her you plan to marry her and then make her your mistress on the road to Scotland? You think you have the right to take whatever you wish.”
Darcy frowned. He thought Mrs. Gardiner had heard Elizabeth’s promise to become his mistress this morning, like Lady Margaret had. However, he now suspected that the excellent woman had not informed her husband.
Darcy looked down and rubbed at his forehead. “We should not be enemies. You do not wish this marriage at all. Why?”
“You would not be faithful to her, and it would make her miserable. She will be derided by your entire society and they will all mock her, and then you will abandon her to pursue fresh women. Your every action today proves you take what you wish with no regard for society or religion.”
“I assure you, I would be faithful to her.”
“If you were the sort of man to be faithful, you would not be the sort of man to seek mistresses. I came to my marriage, though I was near thirty, not having known a woman."
“Really?” Darcy drew back and asked in a confused tone, “I would say we were raised very different, but — with such a sister as Mrs. Bennet?”
Mr. Gardiner chuckled. Instead of being insulted he shrugged and some of the tension left the room. “Yes. Even with Fanny as my sister. My father took far greater pains to shape my morals and habits than he did with my sisters." He raised his eyebrows. “There is a lesson there.”
Darcy leaned forward his chair. He pillowed his chin on a fist. “How old were you, exactly?”
“Six months past my nine and twentieth birthday.”
“That would make you more than a year older than I am now.”
“I am not a curiosity for you to stare at in amazement.”
“No, you are my dear Elizabeth’s beloved uncle.”
Mr. Gardiner leaned back into his chair and looked at Darcy with an expectant expression.
“Mr. Gardiner, while our educations were entirely different, I assure you my family is neither amoral nor careless. While I am certain a benevolent Providence watches and cares for us, I do not think the present superstitions correspond to the true nature of that Providence. I have never thought congress between a man and woman is sacred. However, I was taught to always consider a woman’s happiness as of equal importance with my own. The prohibitions against seduction and loose behavior protect young women from rakes who would abuse their vulnerable situation. So long as the woman is not harmed by the connection, I see no sin in having a woman outside of wedlock.”
“That does not comfort me.”
“It was not disrespect when I asked Elizabeth to be my mistress. While contrary to your moral code, and to society’s proclaimed code, it was not contrary to my own values. However, being unfaithful when I promised fidelity… I abhor deception. I have only once deceived a woman in a matter of importance, and it was by far the worst decision of my life.”
Mr. Gardiner leaned forward. Darcy hoped his eyes were now softer. “You mean your engagement?”
“Yes. I…I asked her to marry me so it would be impossible to marry Elizabeth. It was wrong and profoundly selfish, and I have never despised myself so much. Mr. Gardiner, I have never… well…” Darcy blushed. “I found as a youth I would feel guilty if I…was unfaithful to my mistresses.”
Mr. Gardiner raised his eyebrows, and Darcy felt his face go hotter.
“Hmm.” Mr. Gardiner pulled at his sideburns and settled back into his chair. “You mean to suggest that since you would not play loose with your paid subordinates, you certainly will not misuse my niece when you are married to her and claim to love her.”
Darcy grimaced at Mr. Gardiner’s manner of describing it. He was in love with Elizabeth, and he had treated his mistresses with far more consideration than that given to simply a paid subordinate. Arguing that point would do no good. “That in essence is what I mean to say.”
“Well. Well. I suppose I imagined all forms of immorality would be bundled together. If a man had one, he probably had all. But there is no good cause for that to be the case. I do believe you now. You have some decency in you, even if it has been twisted by your irreligious speculations.”
Now it was Darcy’s turn to say nothing while the other man thought.
“How can I know your affection for her will not disappear once you have enjoyed her person? It would make an extremely poor marriage for you, since only the strongest affection would be able to stand up against the derision you will face.”
“It was never her person that drew me, not primarily. The first time I saw Elizabeth, I was drawn to the expression on her face. I stood near her in the assembly rooms at Meryton pretending to study a portrait of the King while her face went from an expression of piercing disappointment, to contentment, to anger, and then to a confidence. I have been a little in love with her since I saw her shake her fist with resolution and smile defiantly at her worries.”
“That is a romantic speech. You should share it with Lizzy.”
“Mr. Gardiner, her spirit has always drawn me. So long as…” Darcy could not continue for a moment. “If I can hear her laugh and listen to her conversation and bring smiles to her face, I shall be happy.”
Chapter 23
When the door had first rung, her heart had leapt with hope that it might be Mr. Darcy. But when Ruth entered the drawing room to fetch Mr. Gardiner, the visitor turned out to merely be one of her uncle’s business partners.
After Mrs. Gardiner had dragged her back into their carriage and home, Elizabeth had ignored the lectures about immorality and impropriety as she waited for some signal from Darcy.
It had been absurd to think it was Darcy. He wouldn’t come here directly. She had offered to be his mistress; he would send her a note, telling her where to meet away from any house.
Except, he might do no such thing. She had seen Lady Margaret behind him, and the woman must have heard her begging Darcy. She may have created terrible dissension between them, and…he would not be able to take her as his mistress. The more Elizabeth thought about Darcy, the more certain she became that he would be faithful to his vows once married.
It was his forthrightness and his bluntness. If Lady Margaret made him promise to not take a mistress, and any reasonable woman would,
then Darcy would not. He would not lie.
She should have gone with him when she had the chance.
Elizabeth’s old habit of imagining everything was as she wished was of no use. She wished to give herself to Darcy, and for him to take her completely. Nothing else seemed important in her spinning brain.
At long last Mr. Gardiner reentered the room with a perplexed expression.
He gestured for Elizabeth to come to him, and in a flash she knew that the story about his partner was simply disguise so that he might speak to Darcy first.
With mixed eagerness and fear, she hopped quickly up to her uncle. He led her out of the drawing room and pointed to the door of his study. “Mr. Darcy wishes to speak to you, and he convinced me to let him.” Mr. Gardiner tapped one of the chairs along the wall of the entrance hall. “Do remember, I shall be sitting here.”
“Are you certain?” Elizabeth was trembling. She was sure the only way Mr. Gardiner would let her speak to him was if he had offered to marry her.
Mr. Gardiner nodded and smiled a little.
Had Lady Margaret broken it off after the scene she witnessed? Elizabeth had not imagined such a thing could happen, or that if it did he would ask her to marry him. Elizabeth’s hands reached towards the door, but then she could not bring them the whole way to the knob.
She looked back at her uncle. “Why is he here? What does he want to say?”
“Go in, Lizzy. He has a question.”
Her heart fluttering Elizabeth opened the door in a quick jerk and stepped in. She must be misunderstanding her uncle.
Darcy had been seated on a blue cushioned chair next to her uncle’s desk. He shot up the instant she entered the room and took a quick step forward before halting and staring at her with wide eyes. His waistcoat was green and looked very handsome. He was lit from behind by the afternoon sunlight beaming through the windows. His strong jaw glowed. His hair was wild and disarrayed, falling over his forehead and ears.
She wanted to touch him, to touch him like she had earlier in the day. She wanted to touch him so dearly it hurt.
A Dishonorable Offer Page 29