“Is that your mom?” she asked as she freaking waved. “She’s pretty.”
I glanced up to see my mom waving back.
“Please stop waving,” I said as my jaw clenched. The humiliation was real.
Addy let out an almost evil sounding laugh. “She’s gonna have so many questions for you later. Have fun with that!”
“Thanks.”
I could hear her giggling as she made her way back to where the girls team was setting up. “No, thank you,” she called back. “I feel so much better now!”
I knew I should quip back with something sarcastic, but when I opened my mouth, what came out was, “Good luck.”
Addy
Beep! The electronic starter signaled the start of the race, and I propelled myself backward and swam like I had never swum before. The crowd erupted in cheers. “You’re the girl I’ve always wanted for my son!” yelled Ms. Turner as I made a perfect flip at the other end of the pool and returned to my loyal fans, all chanting, “Addy! Addy! Addy!”
Just kidding. I screwed it up, big time. I was first to go in the medley. And despite Gray’s attempt to loosen me up, I was wound tighter than an eight-year-old who has just been told he had to wait till after dinner to open presents. I had a bad feeling I would forget something important, knock my head on the wall of the pool or slip at the start. What I hadn’t predicted was that I would manage to blow it before the race even began.
Unlike the other strokes, the backstroke began in the pool. Some held onto a rung on the starting block, their butts crouched just above the water and their feet pressed up against the wall in front of them. I tried that. It didn’t go well, mostly because my arms, though improving daily, were still limp noodles in comparison to most of the team. If I had to hold that position to start I would have no strength left for the race.
So, I began the way Gray taught me. The way he taught most middle schoolers, as he was so eager to inform me. I braced my feet against the wall and placed my hands on the lip of the pool, remembering to keep my arms straight and relaxed as I waited for the official to tell us to get into position. In the crowd, Lucy and Nora were already jumping up and down, bubbling with excitement. I tried not to look at them anymore than I had to. There was no way I was going to be able to concentrate while staring at the ridiculous handmade signs they brought. Not that I didn’t appreciate the large cut out of a goldfish with my face glued on it. That sucker was going on my wall the moment I got home.
“Take Your Mark,” announced the official. I bent my arms and knees and pulled my body up close to the wall. Gray called this ready position. I called it spring loading because when the whistle blew and we pushed off with all our might, we looked a lot like fake snakes flying out of a novelty can. A loud buzz pierced the air, and just like in practice, I threw my arms above my head, arched my back, and pushed off the wall with as much power as possible.
The goal, Gray always said, was to hit the perfect depth on entry. Too deep and you’re fighting more resistance than necessary. Not deep enough and you don’t get the full benefit of pushing off the wall.
It may have been my best entry ever. I couldn’t see myself, of course, but I felt like my body had formed the perfect rainbow as I dove backward into the water. With my hands above my head, I dolphin kicked like a maniac. Usually, I was tempted to turn my head to the side and see where the other girls were at, before beginning my stroke, but not this time. This time I kept my head in a neutral position, making the most of my glide. The crowd was either oddly silent, or I had truly mastered tuning out the noises around me. I chose to believe I was a master as I did a mediocre flip turn at the far end and began my way back to the starting block.
The order was backstroke, breaststroke, butterfly, and finally freestyle. In a way, I was happy to go first. There was no chance of me diving too early and accidently landing on a team member. (A very real thing I had done more than once in practice.) When my hands touched the wall to finish the race, I pulled myself in to give Willow room, just the way we had rehearsed. Only unlike in practice, no one jumped in the water after me. Instead, Willow stood above me, her hands on her hips, tapping her bare foot impatiently.
“What?” I asked, totally oblivious to what was going on. That was when Amy ever so graciously leaned down to gently inform me that I’d false started thanks to some eight-year-old-twerp tooting his kazoo on the deck.
“So, I’m disqualified?” I asked, beginning to feel the heat of embarrassment rise in my cheeks.
Willow let out a shrill laugh. “No, Addy. You’re not disqualified. We are disqualified.” And with that, she stomped away like the overgrown child that she was.
“You’ll need to get out of the water now,” reminded the official. As if I needed just one more moment of embarrassment to add to the day’s growing list.
I didn’t look at Gray as I grabbed my towel and headed for the locker room. Ticking off Willow I could handle. Disappointing Gray, on the other hand, left me feeling about two inches tall.
Chapter Eleven
Gray
The water wasn’t distracting me like it normally did. When I dove in after the buzzer, I waited for the motion of my arms slicing through the water to quiet the anxiety I felt after Addy’s false start, but it didn’t. I couldn’t get her mortified expression out of my mind as I popped out and began the over under motion, propelling me forward.
Even though it didn’t distract, it did seem to fuel me. As I reached the touch pad, I pulled my goggles off and heard my mom screaming before I looked at the time. 47.34. Just one-tenth of a second short of my personal record. The rest of the guys were there to cheer me on when I climbed out, but it was hard to fake a smile. I couldn’t shake the sour mood after the day’s crummy start.
We pulled off another victory in the free relay, but with Simon’s speed in the final lap, it was no surprise. That would easily be our strongest event.
My mom stuck around for the entire meet, even after I tried to convince her to go home and get some rest. As I walked out to the parking lot, I spotted our black sedan in a sparsely full lot. One quick scan, and I realized that Addy’s familiar SUV was gone. I told her I had a ride today, but I still figured she would wait to say goodbye. I never got a chance to talk to her after the relay. I wanted to tell her not to worry too much about it, though I knew she would, anyway.
The girls looked like they were giving her hell for it, and I figured there was a little damage control to be done. Bringing a teammate down after a mistake wasn’t going to do the team any good. That’s not how a team worked, anyway.
“Hey, Turner,” a voice called from behind me. I rolled my eyes before turning to find Willow and Freddy, the two, barely qualified, team captains standing together with smug expressions like they owned the place.
“What’s up?” I asked, walking back to their spot in the shade of the gym building.
“So, are you helping Addy...or what?” Willow asked. The nerve of this girl was astounding.
“She just started three weeks ago. Give her a break.”
“Three weeks and she doesn’t know that you can’t start until the buzzer goes off?” Freddy continued.
I really just wanted to go home and relax and not deal with these jerks right now. “I told you I had it under control,” I said, starting to turn back toward my mom’s car. “I’ll go over the rules with her again.”
I got one step before Freddy added, “Gray, we know you like her, but she’s going to bring the whole team down.”
My heart sank a little. Not because I liked Addy...I mean, of course I did. She was a hard worker, funny, and never judged me. My heart sank because something in Freddy’s tone told me that they already had a plan that wouldn’t end well for Addy.
And...they had a point. If Addy couldn’t get her performance up to standard, she was bound to bring the whole team down. Sure, the boys team would stand alone, but how was that fair to girls like Willow who wanted the same thing I did: a great year that
ended in a good scholarship at a decent university?
I scratched the back of my neck, feeling like a ten ton brick just landed in my gut. “Give me one more week. If she flops on the next meet, then I’ll…” I stalled. What would I do?
“If anyone could get her to quit…” Willow added, with a tight-lipped expression.
“I’ll think about it,” I muttered as I turned and walked away. For my first meet in Minnesota, this day was turning out to be one ulcer after another.
I climbed into the passenger seat next to my mom. I didn’t even have the door closed before she started squealing. “Forty-seven, Gray! That was one of the best heats I’ve seen from you!”
“Thanks, mom,” I answered with a forced grin.
“Why aren’t you more excited?” She looked at me as she started the car and pulled out of the lot.
“I am, I am. It was just...a long day.” My head fell against the window as we headed home.
“A pity about that girl…”
“Yeah.”
“Is she…” My mom had a sly smile on her face like she was trying not to get too excited.
“She’s my ride.”
She slapped my arm with a laugh, and I could feel my cheeks start to redden just thinking about my mom meeting Addy.
“I’m starving,” she said when we reached the intersection.
“How about burgers and custard?” I asked. “I know a great place.”
Addy
I was calling it swimgate. Like Watergate. A major scandal. A moment of national...or regional in this case, embarrassment. Only I, unlike former president Nixon, was not going to resign in the face of adversity. Willow could pout all she wanted. She and the rest of the swim team were stuck with me. Just so long as Gray was still in my corner.
A big part of me was scared that we were back to ground zero. after all, he needed a swim scholarship bad, and no scout was travelling to Delinki, Minnesota to watch a losing team. But if he didn’t want to train me anymore, then what? Swim team was quickly transforming me from soft and rectangular to toned and sporty. And all of that time with Gray had to be getting to Mitch. I wasn’t oblivious to his wandering eye in the lunchroom. Plus, if I was being totally honest with myself, I really liked hanging out with Gray. He was more than eye candy to make Mitch jealous. He made me laugh.
If Gray was about to jump ship, then I was going to prolong the inevitable as long as possible. Which was why I was spending my lunch hour couped up in the library. I munched my peanut butter and jelly sandwich as quietly as possible, careful not to draw the attention of our school librarian. Ms. Murdock was nice enough if you needed help finding a book, but cross her and lord help you.
“There’s the swim champ!” cried Max, sliding down next to me between the stacks.
“Shh,” I hissed. “I’m hiding from the general public.”
Max grabbed the sandwich from my hand and stole a bite so big I was left with nothing but crust on one half. “Should I be worried my sister is a loner now?” he asked, his mouth still full.
I would never quite understand what girls saw in him. He was attractive, sure, but he wasn’t sporty, didn’t dress well, and ate like a pig. Wherever his charm was, he reserved it exclusively for times he was not around me.
“I’m hiding from Gray,” I admitted. “If he can’t find me. He can’t break up with me.”
“Since when are you dating?” asked Max.
“As my coach and my friend,” I mumbled, focusing on the outdated encyclopedias in front of me. The last thing I wanted to do was look my brother in the eye while he said I told you so.
Max sighed, then pulled out his phone. His fingers flew over the keyboard with deadly speed and accuracy. He was a killer texter. Whereas my messages were all jumbled with fat fingered typos and autocorrects.
“Who are you texting?” I asked. “You’re supposed to be consoling me. Telling me I am, in fact, not a loser.” I tilted my head back to rest against the books behind us. Now was not the time for him to be talking game strategy with one of his online gamer friends.
“Gray,” he answered, tucking his phone back into his pocket.
I jumped to my feet so fast even I was surprised. “What the heck, Max?”
Somewhere toward the front of the library I heard the wheels on Ms. Murdock’s rolling chair scoot backward. Any moment now she would be scouring the aisles in search of whoever was disturbing her peaceful sanctuary.
Max waggled his eyebrows, my reaction giving him obvious joy. “I am revealing your whereabouts,” he whispered then stood to exit. I was ready to give him hell when the door to the library swung open and in sauntered Gray.
“Good luck, big sister,” said Max, patting Gray on the shoulder on the way out. I quickly looked around me. Like perhaps there was a nice table I could crawl under unnoticed. No such luck, Gray was walking right toward me, shaking his head with disapproval.
I held my hands up in defeat. “I’ll let you off easy.” Then, in my best Gray voice said, ‘Addy, thank you for your interest in my coaching services and the many rides-slash-burgers we have shared these last few weeks. But I find myself leaning in a different direction. Please keep in touch. It’s you, not me. Sincerely, Gray Turner.’
Gray cracked up, drawing the attention of Ms. Murdock. “Did you just impersonate me in letter format?” he whispered.
“Something like that.” I slung my backpack over my shoulder. “I appreciate your coming to talk to me, but it’s almost time for class.”
“And?”
“And I should get going,” I said, scooting past him.
Gray reached out to grab my arm. The warmth of his hand wrapped around my elbow was the first good thing I had felt all day.
“Addy, stop. You’re being a dork.”
I let out the breath I had been holding. Surely he wasn’t friendship breaking up with me by calling me a dork. It would really round out the whole “Hey, Loser” intro, but it didn’t feel very Gray-like.
Above us, the bell rang, causing the halls to fill with students scurrying to their next class. “I expect to see you both at and after practice today,” said Gray. I couldn’t help but notice that his hand still lingered on my elbow.
“Are you sure?” I asked. As much as I wanted to be around him, the fear that I might actually sabotage his college dreams was starting to feel very real.
Gray let go of my elbow and shook his head. His lips quirked up in that adorable smile I was seeing more and more of each day. “I’m sure. And Addy,” he said as we exited the library and entered the maze of backpacks and sneakers. “Don’t try to quit on me again. Coaching a loser is one thing, a quitter is another.”
Chapter Twelve
Gray
“Why are we back at a library?” Addy asked, resting her head against the desk we shared. The tips of her two braids were still wet from the pool, and I caught myself staring at the way they rested against her bare shoulders.
After practice, I told her to meet me in the parking lot instead of the pool. She looked a little too excited, and I suspect she thought I would take her somewhere with burgers, not books. She was less than thrilled when I put the local public library into the GPS.
“Because I figured this would be the perfect place to go over some rules and regulations so we don’t have anymore...what did you call it...swimgate?” I asked, pulling open my laptop.
“I never should have told you that,” she mumbled against the table.
I broke into a silent snicker. That false start must have been humiliating, and it would have probably ruined the sport for me forever. No way would I have showed up like Addy did, then make a joke out of it.
“I blame myself for not showing you this earlier.” I looked up the call numbers for the books we needed.
“Yeah. It’s all your fault,” she grumbled, lifting her head from the desk.
“Stay here,” I said as I disappeared into the aisles to find the Swimming and Diving Rules Book. The only copy in th
e public library was from four years ago, but it would do for now. As I returned to the table, I found Addy staring at my laptop screen.
“Is that you?” she asked. I forgot my desktop wallpaper was still set to my swim meet photo from junior year. I nearly slapped the computer closed from embarrassment, but Addy kept her hand on the top to stop me. The picture was an action shot, mid-butterfly taken from the end of the lane. I looked more like a bird taking flight than a swimmer.
“Uh...yeah. It was a shot from the school paper. I set my PR in that heat.”
Addy looked at me like I had an eye growing out of my forehead. I cleared my throat to explain. “PR means personal record. I haven’t broken that record since, so I’m...a little proud of that race.”
She looked back at the photo with a nod. “Impressive.” Then, she just kept ogling the photo, and I really wanted to make it go away. I could sense that she was about to say something, most-likely sarcastic, and my humiliated heart couldn’t take it.
“It’s kind of hot, loser,” she said waggling her eyebrows at me. I let out a sigh and let my head hang to hide the blush in my cheeks. “Why didn’t I close the laptop when I had the chance?”
“Geez, Addy,” I said as she broke out in laughter, poking my side, making it impossible to hold back a smile.
“Knock it off. We have work to do,” I said, trying to force my cheeks into a serious face.
As I opened the NFHS Swim website, I felt her watching me with a twisted smile. “Besides,” I continued. “There are more important things than looking hot.”
She let out a loud laugh. “Like what?”
I swallowed down my nerves. “Like the fact that my dad missed that meet. And every meet after as well.”
Addy’s face fell, the smile dissolving so quickly I wish I could take it back. I don’t know why I wanted to open up, but it was like I couldn’t stop myself.
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