by Lesley Eames
Her coat had fitted properly once, filled out by her strong shoulders and finishing above her ankles. Now it looked like someone else’s coat, trailing in the dirt.
‘I won’t pretend I’m not glad to get home,’ Gran said, sinking into a chair the moment they arrived.
‘Have you got some pain?’ Lily asked.
‘The pain’s not so bad, but I feel as weak as a newborn babe.’
‘Rest for a while. I’ll do those other deliveries then make the supper.’
‘Pass that sack of washing then.’
Lily passed her Mr Beeton’s sack. Not because Gran intended to do anything with it, but so she’d look busy if Artie came in.
Lily put the remaining parcels in the bag then went out, managing to earn another halfpenny as well as to collect money due to Gran. She tipped it all into the old tea caddy, got some washing soaking and started on a supper of potatoes, cabbage and half of the tin of corned beef.
The other half went onto a plate which she placed in the cupboard under the stairs to keep cool and fresh for tomorrow’s supper. She was mashing the potatoes and corned beef when Artie came in, but she stepped aside to let Gran dish it up as usual. Artie ate every scrap of his share, suspecting nothing when Gran said she’d keep hers warm in the oven while she fetched washing in from the yard. Only after he’d gone back out to play did Gran attempt to eat. She managed little but at least Artie hadn’t noticed that her appetite was poor.
‘You won’t have to go out again for a while now you’ve been seen,’ Lily assured her.
*
Two weeks passed. Three weeks. Artie appeared to be getting on well at Mr Alderton’s. He still cast regretful looks at his pals when he was separated from them on Saturdays but his only complaint had come after his second visit when he’d returned home with a satchel of books which he’d thumped onto the table in outrage. ‘Mr Alderton wants me to do more book learning at home! Every day! Even when I’ve been to school! He calls it prep and says that boys at smart schools do it to help them get on.’
Lily had felt irritation building. Why couldn’t Artie understand how lucky he was? But she’d pushed the feeling down again. Artie only wanted to be like his friends and perhaps it was tiredness that was making her bad-tempered. A touch of envy too. ‘I’ve been setting you extra sums and spellings for years,’ she’d pointed out.
‘Yes, but—’
‘I’ll help,’ she’d promised, suspecting he was actually afraid of being unable to cope. ‘If I can,’ she’d added under her breath as it occurred to her that, without Mr Alderton explaining things to her, she might not be able to cope either.
‘Good cake today?’ Gran had asked, giving Artie’s thoughts a happier turn, and he’d told them about a cake which had a scattering of nuts on top.
‘Mrs Lawley let me have two slices,’ he’d said.
Lily wasn’t surprised that Artie had won Mr Alderton’s housekeeper round. He was a sweet-natured boy.
Luckily, Lily had mastered the sums Mr Alderton had set so far, whether they were fractions, long division or sums involving pounds, shillings and pence. She’d had to spend time looking at the English grammar book Mr Alderton had supplied before she understood what was meant by different types of words, but once they were fixed in her head they stayed there and she was able to help Artie to remember them too.
Lily used his afternoons with Mr Alderton to try to catch up on washing that couldn’t be managed in the week but she still missed another two days of school, much to Miss Fielding’s disappointment. Much to Lily’s disappointment too, though she assured Gran she’d missed nothing important.
Another week went by then Lily took Gran to the corner shop again only to fear she’d made a mistake after hearing one neighbour remarking to another, ‘Maggie Tomkins is looking peaky.’
Lily butted in with, ‘She just needs the sun on her face.’
Mrs Flynn called in for a cup of tea too and gave Lily a searching look when she left. ‘Everything all right?’
‘Everything’s fine,’ Lily insisted, though Gran was wilting from the strain of pretending to be well.
‘There’s something about visitors that wears a body out,’ she said.
Between Mrs Flynn and the people in the shop it couldn’t be too long before gossip started circulating about Gran’s health. Lily had hoped for many more months with Gran but she couldn’t escape the fact that Gran was fading fast. Lily didn’t regret keeping Gran’s illness a secret from Artie so far, but he’d have to be told about it soon because it would be awful if he learned the truth from someone else. She’d let him enjoy their birthday first, though. May was only two weeks away, after all.
Their birthday fell on a Saturday this year. ‘Don’t think I’m complaining, but do I still have to go to Mr Alderton’s?’ Artie asked.
‘People still have to go to school or work when it’s their birthdays,’ Lily reminded him.
‘I suppose that’s true. And I’ll get cake at Mr Alderton’s which is fitting for a birthday, isn’t it?’
Gran usually made a cake for them but this year Lily had other ideas. ‘Why don’t we have a pudding instead seeing as Artie’s already getting cake?’ she suggested to Gran.
She’d been saving sugar for a suet pudding with golden syrup. Maybe custard too if she could manage the extra milk. There was a tense moment in the week when Janet Flynn called in again, rubbing her now visibly pregnant belly and saying, ‘I’ll take a little sugar in my tea, if that’s all right? I need it with the boys driving me mad at home and this one giving me a kicking from inside.’
To Lily’s relief, Mrs Flynn had left enough sugar for the pudding but her eyes had watched Gran suspiciously and been thoughtful when they’d rested on Lily.
Artie was delighted with the pudding. ‘It’s even better than Mrs Lawley’s cake,’ he declared. High praise indeed.
Lily had set aside a penny and bought sweets for Artie – his favourite barley sugars. She didn’t expect anything in return but Artie gave her a collection of small pebbles he’d found on the riverbank. They were made from white, blue and brown glass worn smooth by years of having been dragged this way and that along the riverbed as the tide moved in and out. ‘I hope you think they’re pretty,’ he said.
‘I do think they’re pretty.’ Lily smiled as she touched a blue pebble.
Neither of them expected anything from Gran this year but she’d made a handkerchief for each of them out of an old sheet and even embroidered their initials in one of the corners. Gran had learned embroidery years before when in domestic service but rarely embroidered these days. Lily had to swallow hard when she thought of Gran going to the trouble of making gifts when she was feeling so unwell.
‘We can’t have you going to Mr Alderton’s with just a rag in your pocket,’ Gran told Artie. ‘And it’ll be nice for you to take a decent handkerchief to school, Lily.’
‘I’ll make a point of using mine in front of Mr Alderton so he knows I’ve been brought up proper,’ Artie said.
One more week, Lily decided. One more week and she’d tell Artie about Gran.
Before the week was over their vicar called, arriving just as Lily returned from school. She was itching to get started on the ironing and errands but stayed indoors to make him a cup of tea and help Gran if his questions became too probing.
‘It’s been quite a while since I last saw you in church, Mrs Tomkins,’ he began.
‘That’s because I have to work,’ Gran told him.
‘There are other days for work.’
‘There are. And I work on those days too. But there’s only so much washing a body can peg out at a time when their house and yard are as small as mine. Besides, doesn’t it say in the Bible that the Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath? I think God prefers me to put food in my grandchildren’s mouths than parade about in Sunday finery to please those who think being seen in a building is more important.’
Lily hid a smile. This was Gran at
her finest.
‘I take your point, Mrs Tomkins, but—’
‘A body can pray while she’s ironing in her kitchen just as well as on her knees in a pew.’
The vicar smiled faintly. ‘I hope the children will keep up their attendance at Sunday School.’
‘I hope so too but we’ll have to see.’
‘They won’t want to miss the Sunday School tea.’
The tea was a feast of sandwiches and cake eaten in the church hall. There were games too, and books were presented to those with perfect attendance. Lily had already missed several Sunday mornings because of helping Gran. Artie had missed some Sundays too.
‘The tea is a grand affair all right,’ Gran conceded. ‘But sometimes hard choices have to be made. Young Artie is taking extra lessons, you know. He has extra book learning between those lessons too.’
‘Lily can still come t—’
‘Lily helps Artie. It’s the Christian way to help each other, isn’t it, Vicar?’
‘Talking of helping,’ Lily intervened, ‘you said you were going to put those shirts in water to soak, Gran. Shall I do it for you?’
‘Yes, please, Lil.’
The vicar took the hint, drank his tea quickly and got up. ‘Thank you for your hospitality, Mrs Tomkins. I hope to see you and the children at church soon, but if you need any assistance in the meantime, I hope you’ll ask for it. If your health should take a turn for the worse, for instance, or—’
‘Thank you, Vicar.’ Gran walked past him and opened the door.
When he’d gone her shoulders drooped and she sat back down. ‘A good man, that one, but a tiring one,’ she declared.
They didn’t talk about what he’d said. Lily suspected he’d heard rumours about Maggie Tomkins looking peaky and Gran probably suspected the same. They could put off telling Artie what was happening no longer. He had to be told today.
It turned out that he didn’t need to be told anything. They were eating their supper that night when Lily noticed him staring at Gran intently. He turned to Lily, saying nothing but questioning her with his eyes. Gran’s ill, isn’t she?
SIX
They didn’t talk until they went to bed. Then Artie cried and Lily cried with him. ‘You should have told me before,’ he sobbed.
‘And made you unhappy sooner?’
‘She’s really going to die?’
‘We need to be brave for Gran’s sake, Artie.’
‘But if she saw a doctor…’
‘She’s seen one.’
‘You guessed something was wrong a long time ago, didn’t you?’
‘A while ago,’ Lily admitted.
‘That’s because you’re clever. I didn’t guess until now because I’m stupid.’
‘No, you’re not.’
‘I must be. She’s got so thin and… small, and I didn’t notice.’
‘That’s what Gran wanted.’
‘Do other people know?’
‘I think they’re starting to wonder. But we need to stop them from wondering. If people think Gran can’t look after us anymore, they might send us to be looked after somewhere else.’
Artie’s eyes widened. ‘The workhouse?’
‘Or some sort of orphanage. Either way, we’ll not only be separated from Gran but from each other too.’
‘I don’t want to be apart from either of you.’
‘That’s why we need to keep Gran’s illness a secret – so we can stay together for as long as we can.’
‘How will we manage?’
‘I’m already doing a lot of the washing and running errands to bring some money in.’
Artie made a disgusted sound but the disgust was directed at himself. ‘All I’ve been doing is playing out and seeing Mr Alderton. But I’m going to start helping now. I may not be any good at ironing but I can run errands for you. I’ll tell Mr Alderton I need to stop having lessons.’
‘No, Artie. Mr Alderton’s your best chance of getting an education.’
‘I’ll have to stop seeing him anyway after… after…’
‘Even if you can only see him for a little while longer, it’ll help.’
Artie thought about it. ‘How much longer do you think?’ he asked, wincing at what amounted to a question about how long Gran might live.
‘I don’t know. However long it is, we’ve got to make every minute count.’
Artie nodded miserably. ‘I’ll be up early with you tomorrow,’ he said.
‘Better get some sleep, then.’
Lily tucked his blankets around him and kissed his forehead. Getting into her own bed, she lay on her back and stared sightlessly into the darkness. She heard Artie roll over and begin to sob into his pillow. Tears rolled from her eyes too but she kept her crying silent, hoping Artie would soon exhaust himself into slumber. She was glad when his breathing slowed to shuddering jerks and finally to the deep snuffles of sleep but it was a while before she slept.
*
He was still sleeping when Lily got up in the morning and she hadn’t the heart to wake him quite so early. She had the fire going, one lot of washing heating in the big copper on the stove and another lot of washing soaking in the dolly tub before she woke him. For a moment he looked peaceful but then memory returned and his expression turned stricken. Lily thought he might be about to cry again but there was a danger of Gran hearing so she gave him a bracing pat on the shoulder. ‘You said you wanted to help.’
‘I do.’
He joined her in the kitchen, hair still tousled from his pillow. ‘Where shall I start?’
‘Work the dolly in that tub,’ Lilly said. ‘Try not to wet your hands because they’ll get chapped.’
He looked at Lily’s hands – reddened and sore – and shook his head as though he still couldn’t believe he’d been too blind to notice before.
He picked up the wooden dolly and used it to stir the washing. After a while she asked him to take some clean washing outside and squeeze it through the mangle before she hung it on the clothes line. He wasn’t quick, but she couldn’t fault him for willingness.
After a while she took a cup of tea up to Gran. ‘Artie knows,’ Lily said.
‘He guessed, I suppose. I don’t need a mirror to tell me I’m not looking good.’
‘How are you feeling?’
‘There’s a bit of life left in me yet, Lil. I’ll be down in a minute to talk to the boy before he goes to school.’
Artie burst into tears the moment Gran appeared. She folded him into her arms and let him sob against her wasted chest.
Lily slipped out to run errands then raced to school in time to see Artie arriving. His eyes were red and his step was heavy. ‘I’m sorry I didn’t help with the errands,’ he said.
‘You can help later. You needed to be with Gran this morning.’
He nodded and his face crumpled. ‘I can’t believe she’s—’
‘Not here, Artie.’ Other children were in earshot. ‘Meet me at dinnertime.’
‘Oi, Artie!’ It was Davie calling. ‘Why weren’t you at the corner?’
They usually walked to school together.
‘Got soap in my eyes,’ Artie said, pointing to the redness and impressing Lily with his quick thinking.
They moved towards the boys’ entrance, but just before they reached it Artie turned and sent Lily a look that was full of secret sorrow.
They met again at dinnertime. ‘I don’t mind if you want to play with Davie,’ Lily told him.
‘I want to help.’
Lily was relieved to hear it because it meant she could concentrate on washing and ironing. ‘Knock on Mr Higgins’s window and he’ll tell you if he wants anything fetching today,’ she told Artie. ‘Old Mrs Piper has a bag of pineapple chunks on Thursdays. I’ll give you the money and she’ll pay you back. Saves going to her house twice. Mr Franks wants his dog walking but only for a few minutes as it’s getting wobbly. Miss Smith might have letters to post. Always ask if they know anyone else who wants an err
and running then plan the best way of doing things to save time. Come home and have some dinner first, though.’
They both hugged Gran tightly on their return. Then Lily cut bread and spread dripping over it, and they ate it quickly, Gran sitting nearby and saying she couldn’t face food just at the moment.
Lily was tempted not to return to school for the afternoon but Gran insisted though they got home to find her struggling to lift a basket of washing. Gran’s strength was fading with frightening speed. ‘Let me take that,’ Lily said.
With Artie’s help she made parcels of the washing that was ready for delivery and sent him off after explaining how much money was due for each parcel and urging him to try to pick up more washing and errands. Gran had managed very little work that day so Lily got down to some washing while he was out.
‘All done,’ Artie said, tipping coins into the old tea caddy on his return. ‘Only three errands but that man at number twenty-three says he wants some shopping done tomorrow.’
Artie paused then added, ‘I could get round faster on the bicycle.’
‘Sadly, it isn’t your bicycle,’ Lily reminded him. Mr Alderton hadn’t said anything about Artie using it for anything except his Saturday lessons. ‘Did your friends miss you today?’
‘I told them I still had sore eyes.’
‘I should pretend Mr Alderton’s keeping you busy if anyone asks tomorrow,’ Lily suggested, though that wouldn’t explain why Artie was suddenly rushing about running errands. ‘Or you can say you’re earning money to buy something.’
‘A bike of my own?’
‘Good idea.’ Lily hesitated, looking at Artie’s wan face, then said, ‘Why don’t you go out now? I’m sure you’ll find Davie or someone else who wants to kick a ball around.’
‘What are you going to do?’
‘Get dinner ready.’ Seeing Artie was about to protest that it wouldn’t be fair if he played while she worked, Lily added, ‘But I’ll sit down and read afterwards.’
She was glad when he came in later looking a little less pale but he struggled with the lesson Mr Alderton had set for him, rubbing his eyes with tiredness. ‘Sorry, Lil. My brain isn’t working tonight.’