"Oh no, what do you want?"
Then she saw him-- Andrew. She quieted down because she understood that there was little she could say or do at this moment. She had left home a year earlier without a word, not taking anything except a change of clothes and money she had been saving since she was a child, and now they had found her.
"Mariah, what is this? You actually left home for this? Do you know what you have put your family, your mother, and my brother through? I would like to say that I am happy to see you, but the truth is, under these circumstances, seeing you like this has put a damper on my excitement."
What right did these two bozos have to barge into her life and then complain?
"Yeah it's nice to see you, too. I am so excited you found me.”
He was so angry and wound so tight, and her sarcasm was not helping his temper any. He felt he was going to snap if he did not say his next words... "What were you thinking? Is this better than your life at home? This sure was a stupid decision you made."
“Who are you to say anything or judge me? Let me go now before they call the cops on you.”
“I’ll tell you who I am, I am someone who cares for you and for the people you are hurting with your selfish behavior.”
“What selfish behavior? I walked away from where I wasn't wanted.”
“What is wrong with you? I could throttle you right now you make me so angry.”
“Didn’t you hear me? After I turned eighteen she was probably going to kick me out.”
“I don't have a clue what gave you that idea, but your mother is going through the motions, but the happiness is not there. She is like a robot doing what is expected, without feeling, without emotion. If she happens to smile, it never reaches her eyes.”
"What else is new? Don't you get it? That is how it has always been. I did her a favor when I left.”
“You two stop, save this for when we are safely at home. Right now I have to agree with her. She is right, we need to hide the car in the garage where no one will find it. I doubt anyone could have read the plates after we went mudding today, but just in case, make sure that no one is following,” said Marcus.
Marcus was driving as safely as possible. He was trying to stay within the speed limit, making extra turns, making sure they were not being followed. First he drove in the opposite direction of the house to make sure there was no one behind them. When he felt safe, he made a big loop toward the house John had reserved for them.
He looked at his friend and then at the girl on his lap. She had caused enough pain to everyone who knew her. He did not blamed her, on the other hand understood too well what she had gone through. He, as well, had parents who were more concern with money and appearances than with their own kids. He knew Rosalyn loved her daughter, but had no clue how to show it. Not everyone was lucky enough to have dedicated parents like Andrew had.
Mariah needed to try one more time. She hated her job, but going back home was worst than her current life. She straightened herself ready to say something when Andrew interrupted her.
"Listen Mariah, I need you to give me time. I don't know what you are going to say, but if you are going to whine and complained please don’t.”
Andrew knew he had made her angry, but in her selfishness, had she realized how she had hurt the people he loved? He needed to put his personal feelings away and think.
I do not know how to proceed from here, Lord, he silently prayed. Out loud he said, "I need to speak to John. He will know what to do about the whole thing."
"You will not. You have no right to interfere, so stay out of it."
"Mariah, this is a bigger deal than you think, so please stay quiet until we figure it out."
He closed his eyes and leaned his head back. He knew he had blown the case, and then there was Mariah. What was he supposed to say: “Hey John, good news! I found her, she is doing great, and guess what? You are not going to believe this, but she is a stripper in the bar we are investigating.” Yeah, that was going to go well, NOT! I need to calm down, relax, and not jump ahead of myself. I should not worry about tomorrow, only about the now.
Mariah inhaled deeply and then again. She was trying to keep her voice calm when she spoke. She felt caged at the moment and she hated that feeling, after all she was an adult. “Andrew, I am going to tell you this once, only, so hear carefully. Do not dare call John or anyone. As far as the law is concerned, I am an adult. Besides, I will run. I will go out the window or something, but I won't be staying anywhere I do not wish to be. I am not a dog that you say sit and it does. Besides, I made my decisions a while back and I do not need you interfering. Do you understand me?"
Andrew did not even lift his head up, or opened his eyes to look at her. He just smiled, which infuriated her more. She wanted to punch him, slap him, and kick him. She wanted him to feel some of the pain she was feeling. “OUCH!! What was that for?”
Mariah had not even realized it, but she had punched him in the arm. “For laughing at my frustration.”
Andrew burst into laughter, and gained another punch for his insolence.
“Mariah, you look beautiful when you pout.”
Andrew visited his brother's house quite often and he had seen first hand how unlike mother and daughter were. Rosalyn was quiet; Mariah was loud. Rosalyn was an introvert; Mariah was an extrovert. Rosalyn wanted as little attention as possible; Mariah wanted all the attention. Those differences in Andrew's opinion were the root of the problem in their relationship. Rosalyn, trying to protect her child had restricted her too much, and Mariah being a creature with a wild personality had not been able to handle all the boundaries.
Before Mariah had run away, Rosalyn's overprotection had push Mariah on the road to self-destruction. The few times he had stayed the night, Mariah had snuck out of the house and shown up at odd hours, most of the time accompanied by a cop. She skipped school on a regular basis and she had been caught drinking with friends, the list went on and on.
Then one day, Mariah just left. No one had expected it. It had been on her eighteen birthday. We all got up. Rosalyn fixed a wonderful birthday breakfast of crepes filled with cream cheese and bananas, and when they went to wake her up she was gone.
Chapter 2
Mariah woke up at the crack of dawn hoping that everyone was still asleep. A year earlier she had done the same thing. It would be simple to open the door and walk out. I am sure I can find a taxi or something, she thought, but first things first. She just needed to find something different to wear. Her costume would not do.
Looking in the closet showed exactly what she needed. There were men's clothes in there, probably Andrew's as he had given her his room. The clothes were huge on her slender body. She would have to make it work. Beggars could not be choosers after all. She grabbed the jeans and looked around for a belt. This was not going to do at all. She needed something to make a new hole in the belt. She found his clippers in the bathroom. This was going to take forever she thought.
Thirty minutes later she was looking in the mirror. Not bad, not bad at all. Jeans...check, shirt...check, baseball cap...check; the stilettos will have to do for now. I think I am ready. She needed to decide on the best exit route. She looked out the window, and exhaled in surrender. This room was on the second story and there was not even a tree she could use to climb out. A year ago, she had used the window, but her room was on the first story. She was not going to have a choice but to use the front door. She took her stilettos off. She needed to be as silent as possible. It was still dark outside, and if she walked quietly out, no one would be the wiser.
She walked to the door, making sure that the floorboards did not squeak. She held her shoes in one hand and opened the door with the other, and she walked out…She exhale in relieve when she saw no one. She had to be very careful, and begun counting her steps to freedom. One step, two…tripped and fell on top of the body lying on the floor. As fast as she could she scramble up from the awkward position, her feet slip
and she fell again hearing a grunt. This time she got up. She saw that it had been Andrew who was lying on the floor. She was so angry she kicked him. She was frustrated that her plan had been foiled; she could not escape.
"Ouch. What was that for?"
"What are you doing there? Did I take your bed?"
"As a matter of fact you did, now go back to sleep Mariah it is still dark out, we went to bed late, and no, you are not going anywhere, so just don't try. No more running."
She said nothing, just inhaled and retreated.
“And Mariah…”
“Yeah.”
“You hit me again, I won’t be the gentleman I’ve been so far. Don't test me, I promise it will be fun for me, I cannot say the same for you.”
With that said, he rolled over dismissing her.
Defeated, she went back into the room and closed the door. Now what? What could she do now?
Memories that she tried to suppress assailed her. Oh go away, she thought. Nothing good comes from remembering. But they would not listen.
The doorbell rang. Usually when she got home, her grandparents were home. Today she had to come using the back door. The keys were under a plant in the backyard. It had always been like that. Her grandma was always losing her keys, and after getting herself locked out one too many times, her grandpa had decided they needed a hiding place. They had found one they both agreed on. Mariah had used the key today. The doorbell rang again. She did not want people to know she was home alone, so she walked carefully to the side window and hid behind the shades as she lifted the curtain a little for her to see out. There were two police officers at the door. The female officer noticed her and waved, so much for being inconspicuous. Mariah opened the door. "Hi, can I help you?"
"Is there anyone else at home? Is there an adult at home? Where are your parents, honey?"
Mariah looked at her trying to figure out what to say, and then settled for the truth. "My grandparents aren't home, but they should be here any minute now. They are always here when I get home from school."
They looked at her with compassion. "Where is your mom or your dad, honey?"
"My mom lives in Florida."
"Do you have her number? We need to speak with her."
"Sure," she said. She pulled out her cell phone and pressed the speed dial button designated for her mother, and gave the phone to the cop.
Mariah could imagine how her mom had responded, she always answered the phone the same way, "Hi Mariah, how are you doing honey?"
"I am sorry, this is not Mariah; this is officer Richards. I need to tell you that there was an accident today"
Mariah had not heard her mom, but could imagine that she had asked about her based on what the cop had said. Mariah remembered wondering about the accident, and then it dawn on her: her grandparents. Anxious she continued to listen to the one sided conversation.
"Your daughter is fine, unfortunately; your parents were the ones involved in the accident. Both of your parents are in ICU at University General Hospital."
Mariah heard the words that confirmed her thoughts and all she wanted was to get to her grandparents. She did not have anyone else. Who was going to take care of her while they were in the hospital?
"Ma'am?" The cop had continued her conversation with Rosalyn and Mariah wondered if she would come.
"Ma'am, you have a child here. Do you have friends in the area, or would you like us to call the Department of Children and Families?"
She had not learned what her mom had said, but she remembered her desperation at wanting to go to the hospital and instead she was taken to the neighbor's house. An elderly sweet lady, who did not drive, therefore could not take her to see her grandparents.
That is how Mariah found out about her grandparents' accident. Later she had learned that they had died alone. She should have been with them. She hated remembering that day. That had been the day her life had turned upside down. The only people to ever love her had been in a coma, and hours later they had died leaving her alone. She remembered the uncertainty of not knowing what was going to happen to her, or whom she was going to live with. Not only had her heart been broken, but she had also been terrified.
It had been a peace of mind when her mother had told her that they would live together, but as a child she had been expecting a little more than a roommate from her mother and a roommate it's all she got.
Mariah had not realized she was crying. When she opened her eyes Andrew was there, looking at her. He brought his thumb to her face, wiping a tear away. She started to cry harder. So very gently, Andrew carried her and placed her on his lap. She felt more fragile than a china doll, and he was making her feel loved by just holding her, consoling her, no words, just tenderness. He was being so kind, and she cried into his shirt, getting it all wet, until suddenly there were no tears left, only exhausted sleep.
Andrew was sitting on the bed, leaning against the wall, afraid to move. His back hurt and his legs had fallen asleep, but that did not matter. The only important thing here was that he had loved this girl since the first moment he had met her and this was the closest he could ever get to her.
John would never approve of someone like him for his stepdaughter. He knew John and John would want someone worthy for Mariah. It did not matter what Mariah did, he would want someone much better than he could ever be. No matter how hard he tried, he would always be the son of an addict. He would always be a foster kid from the wrong side of the tracks.
That is how Marcus found them later. "Okay guys, as cozy as the two of you look, we need to figure this out before we have the cops on our doorstep. After all, according to the law, we kidnapped her, and I think that is illegal in every state."
As if pulled out of a nightmare, Andrew jumped up, almost knocking Mariah to the floor, and started pacing the floor.
"I think that the first order of business is to call John and Rosalyn. It is about time to end this nightmare for them. It has lasted too long and they do not deserve this stress."
"No! You hear me; they must never know where I am or what I am doing. Don't you understand? I need to keep away. The only thing that Rosalyn and I have is hurt and disappointment. I do not doubt that in a way she loves me and that I might even love her, but we cannot be together. Our love is poison. It is just killing us one way or another."
Andrew looked at her, clenched fists, shoulders back. He wanted to say something, but had no idea what. She was like a skittish deer ready to bolt if he moved too fast. He prayed for guidance. Oh God, how are you going to fix this one. It is obvious that you want to use me, so show me how.
"Mariah I need you to stop. We'll speak about your parents later. I won't call them yet, but you must call the bar and let them know that you were not kidnapped.”
“And what per tell would you have me tell them?”
“I don't know. Maybe you can tell them that we are family of sorts, and that you need them not to worry for your safety. You know, you might as well quit because you are not going back there."
At that, her spine went straight, she squinted her eyes and said something under her breath he could not hear and he realized he had made a mistake. This woman was so finicky; it infuriated him. She wanted to be self-sufficient and his words always made her feel he was trying to control her. All he wanted to do was protect her and cherish her. This woman was going to be the death of him. How could he show her he cared?
Marcus had been quiet observing these two. He was the outsider in this family, but when he realized that Andrew was losing ground he said, "Mariah, don't you see that is not the kind of job for you? We have seen first hand how explosive you and Rosalyn are together, and agree that the two of you cannot live together, but going away to college, moving to an apartment, or joining a convent would have been much better choices than being a stripper. Can't you see that? Can't you see that this was not a good choice?"
"Why? Who do you think you are to tell me what kind of job I can have or not? You two
are there reading me the riot act, and until you go through what I have gone through you can't. Understand something, I have waited all my life to be independent, and I am not going to let you, my mother or anyone else tell me what to do."
Marcus continued, "Mariah, you could have independence at school, not dancing and undressing for men?
"You think you know all, you think I didn't try? And for the record, even though is none of your business, all I ever do is dance."
"Mariah, do you not get it? We love you, your parents love you, and any decision you make affects us all because of that love. When you make what most people call irresponsible decisions, you are affecting all of the lives of those people who love you." Andrew was looking straight into her eyes as he spoke. He knew she wanted to walk away, turn around, but her pride would not allowed her to surrender her views and accept that love.
Mariah was ready to run, she wanted to believe him, but he knew nothing. Didn't he know that she was unlovable? Other than her grandparents, no one had ever loved her, not even her own mother. Heck the last time she had been held was when her grandparents were alive. Being held by Andrew had felt so good and she did not know what to do with that feeling.
“Mariah, we have seen it so many times, this is what we worked at, good girls of limited means, decide to dance. They are just going to dance. The tips are great, but then they realized that the girls who do the lap dances, or go topless, make so much more money, they rationalized their views into accepting what they thought they would never do; so they do it. At first it is awkward, but then the money is so good, they lower their standards and they are willing to do a little more. Soon they are so deep in the business, that when they get out, because they are too old and are used goods, their only choice is the streets. Do you really want that for yourself?” Marcus spoke with such compassion in his eyes, she felt tears in her eyes, but she could not cry.
Marcus, Andrew and Mariah were sitting facing each other. Mariah felt as if she was going to break at any minute. She hated her life and these guys were offering her an out. First Andrew, then Marcus. Could these boys really love her? Mariah was quiet; she had nothing to say. She really hated dancing and having those men gawking at her. When she had to be on the floor waitressing was even worse, because she did not have the stage to protect her from their nearness, their nasty words, and their physical touches.
Second Chances: The Power of Renewal Page 16