I wanted her to look at me like that again. I wanted to feel the way only she could make me feel. So yeah, selfish asshole didn’t cover it.
Before Lila, I hadn’t cared about much: what I did, what could happen to me, who I fucked. I’d screwed around, a lot. That didn’t cut it anymore. Lila had ruined me. I didn’t want anyone else. And making sure I didn’t end up in a shallow grave had become kind of important as well.
She threw her head back and laughed at something Eves said. Christ, the way she moved made my balls throb. Her cheeks were flushed, eyes bright, and as she danced, her soft tits bounced in a way I’d imagined they’d move while I fucked her.
“Riff!”
I turned around a moment before Sofia launched herself at me. I caught her, frowning. “What’re you doing here, Soph?”
“I wanted to party!”
By the way she was slurring her words, she already had been.
“Who brought you?”
“I came with some of the guys.” Then she was off, pulling Manic onto the dance floor. He stood there, expression grim, as she danced around him.
“Couldn’t get her to stay behind,” Tiny said. “Girl needed to blow off some steam.”
I gritted my teeth. “Not like this. You should’ve called me first.”
Tiny was pissed off, but I didn’t give a shit.
“She’s my family, you ask me first,” I growled, close to smashing my fist into his face.
“I’m here for beer and pussy, don’t need this shit,” Tiny said and headed for the bar.
Yep, I was going to beat the fuck out of that prick. Wasn’t the first time he’d done something to piss me off. Sofia was still in a bad place—confused, sad, lost—she didn’t need to be drinking right now.
I tried several times to get her to come sit with me. She refused. When Manic had enough, I was forced to stand in the middle of the fucking dance floor, making sure no asshole tried to take advantage of her. She wasn’t making it easy on me. Especially when she started using me like a pole, swinging off my arms, grinding and rubbing up on me.
Jesus fucking Christ.
Eves and Trix kept glancing my way, while Lila carried on ignoring me.
“Soph, enough,” I said when she looked up at me.
“Don’t be a party pooper, Griffy.”
“You’re done, babe. Time to leave.”
She shook her head and ran to a table, climbing on top. I cursed and went after her, grabbing her around the waist and lifting her down. She laughed, wrapping herself around me, then shit, she came at me, trying to kiss me.
I jerked my head back. “What the fuck, Sofia?”
Her lips trembled, eyes going bright. I wrapped my arms around her, pressing my mouth to her ear. “You don’t want me, honey, you’re just hurting. It’s going to be okay, though, I promise.”
She did the same, her lips close to my ear so I could hear her over the music, and every word sounded like it was being torn from her soul. “Who am I, Riff? If I’m not his, who am I?”
My gut clenched. “You’ll figure it out, Soph, I know you will.”
I spotted Manic and motioned him over. He was a good guy, trustworthy, and the complete opposite of his name. He also had sisters of his own, so he got it. But Tiny, he and I would be having words. I gave Manic the keys to my apartment. “Make her a coffee, look after her until I get there, yeah?”
“Sure thing. Come on, Soph.” He curled an arm around her shoulders and led her from the bar. I scoped out the room. Tiny was all over some chick at the back. Tough shit, I was about to ruin his night.
Dane appeared at my side. “What’s going on?”
“I’m about to teach someone what happens when they fuck with my family.”
Dane came around me, blocking Tiny from view. “Not in Bull’s bar.”
That took the wind out of my sails. I respected Bull. The last thing I wanted was to piss the big bastard off.
“Come have a beer with me. You can kick his ass tomorrow.”
Dane glanced over my shoulder and his eyes darkened.
I turned in time to see Brooks try to pull Lila in close. My girl was shaking her head no. But the shit for brains was drunk and not listening. He kept putting his filthy hands on her, wrapping his arms around her waist, rubbing his face against her neck.
Lila tried to pull away again, and I snapped. Fucking exploded into action. I strode across the bar, grabbed him by the back of the shirt, and wrenched him off my girl.
He stumbled back, then tried to get in my face. I smirked, knocked off his cowboy hat, and shoved him hard. He lost balance and fell on his ass. I advanced—
Bull stepped in front of me, a massive human wall. “Nope, not here, Riff.”
Eves was suddenly there as well. “Brooks was being pushy with Lila. She said no. He wouldn’t listen.”
That’s all Bull needed to hear. He grabbed Brooks by the shirt before I could and towed him to the door, tossing him out of the bar, then scowling as he walked back. “You good?” he said to Lila.
She stared up at him, eyes wide. “Y-yes.”
Satisfied, Bull headed back to the bar and I closed the space between me and Lila. “Bambi…”
Her gaze lifted to me and her face crumpled, then she spun away, shoving her way through the crowd, and ran for the back of the bar. I went after her.
Quinn opened the door for her, letting her out to the staff-only area, and stepped in front of me before I could follow. “Nope. No way.”
“Jesus, Quinn, let me go talk to her,” I ground out.
“Not a shit show in hell,” she said.
“I’m not going to say anything to upset her, I just want to make sure she’s okay.”
She scowled up at me. “Are you really that stupid? Or are you playing dumb?”
I was not going to yell at Quinn. Not only did I like her but her huge bear-sized husband was watching us and he looked ready to come over. I did not need him dragging me out by the scruff of my neck as well.
So I took a deep breath, trying to calm down, not easy when I was confused and still close to vibrating with rage. “I’m gonna need you to spell it out, Quinnie, ’cause I have no fucking idea what you’re on about.”
She hissed, actually hissed at me. “She liked you, Riff, really freaking liked you, and you dumped her…and I mean, that’s fine, I guess, whatever. You weren’t feeling it. But that doesn’t change the fact that she wanted to be with you, that she feels things deeply. Lila has that big, tender heart, and I know she says she’s over you, but she’s not. She didn’t really even like Brooks, not really, so when you bring your new woman home with you, then make out with her on the dance floor three freaking feet away from Lila, that shit cuts.” She planted her hands on her hips. “Move on, do your thing, Grifter, but not in front of her. You want to whisper sweet nothings in your girlfriend’s ear, do it at another goddamn bar from now on.”
I blinked down at the much smaller woman spitting fire at me and frowned. They thought what? I assumed Trix would have filled them in, but then thinking about it, I hadn’t actually told her who Sofia was to me. I’d kind of assumed Soph had told Trix while they were together. Come to think of it, Trixie hadn’t been overly friendly with me since I started working at Rocktown Ink. Shit.
“Sofia’s not my woman, she’s my sister-in-law,” I said, heart pounding.
It was Quinn’s turn to blink up at me. “What?”
“You got it wrong, Quinn.”
She winced. “Oh.”
“Yeah, oh. Now will you let me talk to her? I obviously need to clear a few things up.”
“But you two looked so close…”
“We are, but not like that. She’s going through some shit, that’s all. Now will you let me through?”
She bit her lip, then finally stepped aside.
I rushed through the door and out the back. I found Lila in the break room, sitting on the couch, and she seemed to shrink in on herself when I walked in.
/> “Not now, Grifter.”
She wouldn’t look at me. “Jesse. You call me Jesse.”
That worked, her gaze shot to mine. “Why won’t you just leave me alone?”
Her eyes glistened, round and sad, and I cracked, right down the middle. “Because I can’t,” I said roughly. “Because you’re all I can fucking think about, all I see when I close my eyes.”
“You have a girlfriend, you shouldn’t be…”
“No. I don’t.”
“I saw you with her. I literally just saw you with her.” Her lips quivered, and my gut tightened painfully. “God, Grifter, the morning after you sent me all those texts, saying I was important to you, that you still wanted me in your life, I called you. She answered your phone, she told me to leave you alone. I’m not an idiot.”
What the fuck?
Then I remembered how insecure Soph had been, how scared.
Goddamn it, Sofia. “Jesse,” I said correcting her again. “You called me?”
Lila scowled at me, looking pissed. I preferred that to sad.
“Did she tell you we were together?”
“She said…” Lila frowned.
“What did she say?”
“I guess she didn’t say it in so many words, but it was implied.”
“Sofia’s my brother’s old lady, or was. She’s a sister to me, nothing else. She came back with me because my brother is the kind of low-life piece of shit who lays hands on his woman. I finally convinced her to leave, to come back with me. Her sister lives in Black Stone. She’s staying there, but she’s having trouble adjusting. She still hangs around the club, because that’s what she’s used to. I was staying close to her tonight because she wasn’t in the right headspace to be drinking. I didn’t want her to make a stupid mistake that she’d end up regretting.”
Her body went rock solid. “She’s your sister-in-law?”
I bit back a curse. “That’s why you’ve been avoiding me? You thought I’d hooked up with someone?”
She colored, eyes bright, lips puffy from biting at them. She’d been crying…over me.
I growled and closed the space between us. I’d tried to do the right thing. Tried to let her go. Fuck knew I’d tried. But I didn’t want to stay away from her anymore. I wanted Lila. I was fucking useless without her.
She stared up at me, those gorgeous eyes wide.
“You want to know why I ended it? You really want to know?” I said roughly.
She nodded and stood, bringing her hot little body, that beautiful face, closer.
“Because you can do a hell of a lot better than me. I’ve never been in a real relationship, and I wanted that with you, and that…shit, it scared the hell out of me… You scared the hell out of me. The idea of messing up and hurting you? I couldn’t handle it.” I cupped her face. “Now finally being back in the same town as you but not being able to get close to you, it’s been torture, Bambi.”
Her lips trembled. “Jesse.”
Yep, that did it.
I slammed my mouth down on hers, sucked the plump lower one into my mouth, then slid my tongue inside her slick heat. Fuck, I’d missed this. Her hands went to my sides, and she fisted my shirt, kissing me back just as fiercely.
I wanted to bend her over the break room table and fuck her until we both passed out. But this was Lila. If I wanted her, if I wanted this to grow into more, I’d have to do something I’d never done before.
Take things slow. Find some self-control.
I sucked her lower lip one last time and lifted my head. “You’re mine now, Lila,” I said, searching her face. I was done staying away from her. So fucking done. “You understand me? No more Brooks. No one else. I didn’t like seeing him touch you. I don’t like anyone touching you. No more running from me, okay?”
“Grifter…”
“Jesse.”
I don’t know why that was so important to me, but it was. She licked her lips and I almost fell on them again. She was heaven, candy, wild dreams, epic goddamn fantasies, and I couldn’t get enough of her.
“Jesse,” she said softly, and my hard dick jerked behind my zipper.
“Yeah, Bambi?”
“Are you sure about this…that you really want this…with me?”
“Fuck, yes.”
“But the women you’re used to, I’m not…”
“You, Lila, are perfect.”
There was nothing I would change about her, but there was a fuck of a lot I would change about myself. Something I was highly aware of. I still had a fucked-up family. I still didn’t know what the hell I was doing with this sweet beautiful girl, or how to be someone’s boyfriend, but I wanted to learn.
For her, I wanted to learn.
I wasn’t going to tell her the main reason I’d let her go or what I’d been doing while I was away. My world was still rough, sometimes violent, that hadn’t changed. But I could shield her from it.
Telling her the truth might scare her away, and that wasn’t a risk I was willing to take.
Right now, things in the club were calm. I could keep our worlds separate. I could keep her safe. I’d do anything to have her at this point. The months without her had been hell.
“You’re used to more experienced women.” She flushed darker.
“We’re gonna take this slow, okay? There’s no hurry. And when I finally get you under me, it’ll be that much sweeter.”
Her throat worked. “Are you sure about that?”
I tucked a dark lock of hair behind her ear. “I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life. Kind of looking forward to it, if you want the truth.”
“Really?” she whispered.
“Yeah, babe.”
“So we’re just going to…make out a lot, like we’re teenagers?”
I chuckled and my balls ached in protest. I ignored them. “Can’t get enough of that mouth.” I shrugged and winked. “And there’s always dry humping.”
She choked out a laugh.
And I kissed my girl again, hard and deep.
Chapter Nine
Lila
Why was I so nervous?
I’d spent time with Jesse alone before. We were having dinner, watching a movie, nothing to freak out about. I glanced around my little one-bedroom cottage and tried to imagine it through his eyes.
I cringed. My place was girly to the extreme. I liked soft colors, lots of pink, florals, and when I moved in here, I hadn’t held back. It’d been the first time I’d been able to let loose and be myself.
I imagined my tough, tattooed, biker boyfriend naked under my cream duvet cover, covered in pink cabbage roses, and flushed hot.
Boyfriend.
Is that what he was?
You’re overthinking this, Lila.
Looking down at myself, I cringed again. Was this the look I really wanted to go for? Buttoned up…covered up. I rushed to my room and shoved off my baggy sweater and pulled on a dark purple long-sleeved T-shirt with a deep V neck that looked a lot better with my black jeans.
Covering up was an old habit I slipped into sometimes. I didn’t need to hide my body anymore.
Modesty, Lila. Cover yourself.
My mother’s voice rang loud and clear through my mind.
Tie back that wild hair. Good girls don’t wear makeup. Do you want to end up like your sister?
I shut her out and went to the kitchen to check on the pot roast. It was almost done, and I had an apple Betty ready to go in the oven for dessert. I put another log in my little wood-burning fire and tried not to freak out.
Still, the familiar rumble of Jesse’s bike had me jumping.
He was here.
It’s fine. You’re fine.
I walked down the short hall and stood there like an idiot, waiting.
The bike shut off, followed by the thud of his boots of the front porch. He knocked and nerves spiked through me along with a shot of excitement.
Taking a deep breath, I pulled the door open. I took him in and was torn
between shrinking back from the sheer overwhelming gorgeousness of him and diving on him.
His gaze slid over me, taking me in as well, thoroughly, and I squirmed. I couldn’t help it.
When his gaze finally landed on mine, his nostrils flared and he licked his lips. “Christ, Bambi,” he muttered, then curled an arm around my waist and hauled me up against him.
He grinned before bringing his mouth down on mine for a hard kiss. His tongue slid along my upper lip, making me shiver, not going deep like I desperately wanted him to.
“Hey,” I said, breathless when he lifted his head.
He grinned again, wider this time and he stepped inside, kind of carrying me in with him, and closed the door behind us. “Smells fucking amazing in here.”
When I’d been angry at him, I hadn’t had nearly as much trouble talking or telling him what I thought. With all that aggression and anger gone, I was struggling to find my bearings.
I cleared my throat. “Pot roast and apple Betty for dessert.”
That grin lit up his eyes and he gave me another kiss, just a lingering press of lips, but damn, it made me weak all over. “Sounds awesome. Show me your place.”
When he went away I hadn’t been living in Rocktown long and was staying with Kate, so he’d never seen my cottage. I straightened and he released me, but then grabbed my hand. His hands were rough, calloused, with large, wide palms and long fingers. I loved his hands.
“Um…well, there’s not much to see.” On the left of the hall was the living room and the right was my bedroom. The bathroom was beside that and the kitchen was at the end. There was also a decent-sized deck out back that would be awesome in summer.
“Show me anyway,” he said, low and raspy.
I fought back a shiver and led him into the living room. I glanced at him as he took it in.
“You weren’t lying when you said you liked pink, huh?” he said, the corner of his mouth twitching.
I laughed and smacked his hard, flat stomach. “What can I say, I’m a girly girl.”
“No shit,” he said, chuckling, and grabbed my hand, tugging me close again. “Show me the rest.”
He was behind me, his arms around my waist, and we walked like that across the hall. I pushed my bedroom door open and flicked on the light.
Bad For You (Rocktown Ink Book 4) Page 7