by Roger Ailes
A CURRENCY BOOK
PUBLISHED BY DOUBLEDAY
a division of Bantam Doubleday Dell Publishing Group, Inc.
1540 Broadway, New York, New York 10036
CURRENCY and DOUBLEDAY
are trademarks of Doubleday, a division of Bantam Doubleday
Dell Publishing Group, Inc.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Ailes, Roger.
You are the message
Roger Ailes with Jon Kraushar.
p. cm.
Bibliography: p.
1. Oral communication. I. Kraushar, Jon.
II. Title.
P95.A35 1989 89-32219
302.2’24—dc20
eISBN: 978-0-307-81610-8
Copyright © 1988 by Roger Ailes
Preface and User’s Guide © 1995 by Roger Ailes with Jon Kraushar
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
v3.1
CONTENTS
Cover
Title Page
Copyright
Dedication
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
PREFACE
PREFACE TO THE FIRST EDITION
1 THE FIRST SEVEN SECONDS FIRST IMPRESSIONS
EASY MONEY
COMMUNICATE OR DIE
FACE VALUE
MIRROR IMAGE
LISTEN UP
THE MASK
CONVERSATIONALLY SPEAKING
THE TEN MOST COMMON PROBLEMS
BOYHOOD LESSONS
FROM HANDKERCHIEFS TO HOLLYWOOD STARS
2 TELEVISION CHANGED THE RULES QUICK-CUT COMMUNICATIONS
SEE IT AND SAY IT
WANTED: ALIVE, NOT DEAD
3 YOU ARE THE MESSAGE THE REASSURANCE ISSUE
DEFINING GOALS
STOCKMAN’S OTHER BOOK
ACCESS TO THE PRESIDENT
LET REAGAN BE REAGAN
THE PEPPER DRILL
THE UNMENTIONABLE TOPIC
ONE FOR THE GIPPER
THE COMPOSITE YOU
ARE YOU A WINNER?
A PERSONAL INVENTORY
THE UNFORGETTABLE BENNETT
MAKING SENSE OF YOUR SENSES
THE MORNING SHOW
TEST YOUR SENSES
OBSERVE OR DIE
“DON’T CHANGE ME”
REMEMBER BACK
IT’S ALWAYS A DIALOGUE
THE GUEST METER
THE GOOD NEWS
HOPELESS?
HAPPY TO BE HERE?
SPEECH-READING TIPS
4 INSTINCTS AND RULES ORGANIC SPEECH
VOCAL VARIETY: THE SPICE OF SPEECH
WORDS AND MUSIC
TAPE AND APE
IF YOU CARE, THEY CARE
ABSORB/PROJECT
LAUNCHING
THE EYES
SAY WHAT THE AUDIENCE THINKS
FEELINGS
BETWEEN THE LINES
BREAKING THROUGH
THE NONSTOP TALKER
YOUR LISTENING RATIO
5 POOR RECEPTION A TALLY OF LOSSES
TRY LISTENING
BE SPECIFIC
LISTENING TIPS
THE WORDS GET IN THE WAY
TALK LESS
6 THE FOUR ESSENTIALS OF A GREAT COMMUNICATOR THE FIRST ESSENTIAL: BE PREPARED
WHERE TO START
SPEAK THE SPEECH
NO COP-OUTS
A PREPARATION CHECKLIST
MAKE IT YOUR OWN
THE SECOND ESSENTIAL: MAKE OTHERS COMFORTABLE
WE’RE ONLY HUMAN
GETTING COMFORTABLE
THE LIGHT TOUCH
OTHER POSITIVE ATTRIBUTES
A HARD CASE
THE THIRD ESSENTIAL: BE COMMITTED
THE FOURTH ESSENTIAL: BE INTERESTING
STYLE VERSUS SUBSTANCE
THE FIVE-MINUTE MANAGER
THE BEST AND THE BRIGHTEST
THE 30 PERCENT SOLUTION
7 THE MAGIC BULLET A TRICK SHOT
OPTIMISTS AND PESSIMISTS
AN ALL-TIME FAVORITE
CHRISTMAS 1965
IT’S NO JOKE
THE SPOKESMAN
LOSING THE LIKE VOTE
I HATE HIS GUTS
8 THE DOUBLE-EDGED SWORD A RANGE OF EMOTIONS
THE PERSONAL TOUCH
PRESSING TOO HARD
QUALIFICATIONS VERSUS QUALITIES
THE GLASS CEILING
AN EVOLUTION
THE HASSLE FACTOR
REDIRECTION
SOME ADVICE
“BILINGUAL” COMMUNICATIONS
MEASURE YOUR ATTITUDE
9 BEYOND CHARISMA: CONTROL OF THE ATMOSPHERE HAVE YOU GOT IT?
LBJ
THE KENNEDY BROTHERS
FROM HERE TO ETERNITY
ROCKY’S PUNCH
THE GAUNTLET
YOUR CHARISMA QUOTIENT
CONTROL OF THE ATMOSPHERE
MISSION CONTROL
RISK AND REWARD
BAR NONE
DEPTH CHARGES
CLIMATE CONTROL
UNSPOKEN GIVEAWAYS
SPACE AND TIME
PLAYING FOR TIME
SOCIAL SECURITY
PULLBACK GESTURES
HAIL AND WELL MEANT
TEST OF STRENGTH
CONTROL-OF-THE-ATMOSPHERE QUOTIENT
10 AN OUNCE OF ENERGY IS WORTH A POUND OF TECHNIQUE FOCUSED ENERGY
A NATURAL STATE
POSITIVE ENERGY
JACK BENNY’S SECRET
LIFE FORCE
RX FOR ENERGY CRISES
IN THE LION’S CAGE
COMMITMENT
11 LIGHTEN UP, YOU’RE WEARING EVERYBODY OUT THE BOTTOM LINE
YOUR RESPONSIBILITY
EGO QUESTIONS
HEIR APPARENT
DEAD UNCERTAIN
PART OF YOUR JOB
A SENSE OF HUMOR
YOUR HUMOR QUOTIENT
OUTSIDE THE DOTS
THE SHOWMAN
TO BE MORE HUMOROUS
BEGIN WITH RESEARCH
RELEVANCE
RHYTHM
REHEARSAL
RELAXATION
RISK
12 OKAY, AILES, FIX ME: THE AILES METHOD/COURSE THE FIRST THIRTY SECONDS
AN ALTERNATIVE APPROACH
“IMAGE”
CHECKLIST
CANDOR
MIRROR
THE HUNDRED-YEAR VIEW
THE TRANSFORMATION
“I’M NOT AN ACTOR”
DON’T BE AFRAID TO PERFORM
JOB INTERVIEWING
CHECKLIST
DO
DON’T
ONE THAT GOT AWAY
EYE DART
CAN’T HEAR YOU
A HOT DOG AT FIFTY-THREE
WHAT’S GOING ON?
FEAR
13 EVEN HEROES GET SCARED ARE YOU READY?
TEMPORARY PARALYSIS
PERSPECTIVE
SHORT-RANGE VERSUS LONG-RANGE
THE BEST RIGHT NOW
THE MIND
THE WORST
TWO KINDS OF ANXIETY
ANTIDOTE TO FEAR
THE PILL
THE BIG RED ARROW
HEY BARNEY!
THE PERFECTION BLOCK
OVERDRIVE
VULNERABILITY
HIZZONER
ENERGY
ROOTING FOR YOU
IF YOU FUMBLE
A GOOD TRIP
14 “MAKING IT” IN GRANDMA’S EYES THE MIRACLE
GUILTY TILL PROVEN INNOCENT
GIRDING FOR BATTLE
NO PLACE TO HIDE
THE JOURNALIST’S JOB
TWO VIEWS
ONLY KIDDING
ON OR OFF?
SE
LLING OTHERS OUT
NO LIES, NO APOLOGIES
15 MEDIA TACTICS: SCORING ON DEFENSE WHO SETS THE AGENDA?
PLAIN SPEAKING
A SEARCH-AND-DESTROY MISSION
GOLDEN RULES
REPOSITIONING
A RULE OF THUMB
DRESS
CROWD CONTROL
A TV DUEL
YOUR BILL OF RIGHTS
EPILOGUE
USER’S GUIDE
NOTES
ABOUT AILES COMMUNICATIONS
About the Author
For Norma, Mom, and Joe
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
This book is more than a recent venture. It’s the result of a lifetime of learning. I’d like to acknowledge many of the people who have contributed to that learning process and to this book.
First, I’d like to thank J. McLain Stewart, Norma Ailes, Bill Mattasoni, Larry McCarthy, John Huddy, Kathy Ardleigh, and Kevin Hall for their time and ideas. I’d also like to thank corporate speechwriter Ron Nelson for his assistance, as well as Raymond Kraftson and Graeme Howard for their ongoing support and advice.
My thanks to Debi Daly and Ileana Guinot for their help and dedication.
A personal note of thanks to my mom for teaching me to set goals, and to my dad for teaching me to never quit—and to find the humor in life. Special thanks are also due to Joe Urban for his insight, research, and knowledge of communications and to Marje Ailes for her early encouragement and support.
And, finally, my appreciation to my collaborator and colleague, Jon Kraushar, without whom this book would not have been written.
ROGER AILES
PREFACE
The passage of a few years and the benefit of experience continue to prove that the principles of this book are timeless and that they work for everyone, regardless of gender, age, status, political affiliation, or nationality. Just after You Are the Message was first published, the book’s ideas were subjected to a public trial by fire when I served as the senior media adviser to Vice President Bush’s successful 1988 presidential campaign. In that campaign, I worked with George Bush on the skills you can read about here: how to effectively combine your substance and style to get what you want by being who you are, at your best.
By 1991, I had retired from political consulting to concentrate on my work with corporate and entertainment clients. I thus removed myself from involvement in the 1992 presidential campaign. However, one of Bill Clinton’s top advisers admitted on television that he had read You Are the Message, and I understand the book had also been read by a number of Clinton’s strategists.
Out of the glare of the headlines, I heard from many people who said that You Are the Message had made a difference in their lives. One woman called me from the airport in St. Louis, Missouri, and told me that the book had saved her career. She had been paralyzed with fear before a very important business presentation but had gained confidence and learned helpful techniques while reading the book during her flight.
Thank-you letters came from recent graduates who had found employment using the interviewing tips in this book. Business leaders called to order, in bulk, copies of the book to inspire and instruct their sales forces.
Members of the clergy wrote to say that their sermons had additional sparkle because of suggestions in You Are the Message. Several schools and colleges added the book to required reading lists. In fact, my niece, a college student in Toledo, Ohio, was told by a professor that she’d better read You Are the Message, and he asked if she had heard of the author. “Yes,” she said proudly, “he’s my uncle.”
You Are the Message has been translated into foreign languages. However, I’ve been told that the English version was used to help Eastern European entrepreneurs and government officials communicate better in their new, free-market economies after the fall of Communism.
As I’ve often said, my interest in communication began with a quest to understand how and why audiences react. It is my hope that as a result of reading You Are the Message, many people will increase their understanding of the “composite messages” of others—friends and foes alike. People whose messages need to be carefully analyzed include politicians, journalists, business leaders, customers, competitors, family members, teachers, public officials, and everyone else capable of changing our lives. When you think about it, that includes anyone.
It is only through study and application that we can develop the capability and control needed to be intelligent speakers and—equally important—intelligent listeners. It is only through knowledge and discussion that we can sharpen our critical judgment, to distinguish between messengers who are harmful versus those who are beneficial. The message behind You Are the Message is: Take responsibility for the communication you send and the communication you receive. If there’s misunderstanding either way, assume the responsibility for correcting it. Be a proactive—not a reactive—communicator. This book teaches you how to do that.
In 1993, I turned day-to-day management of my company, Ailes Communications, over to Jon Kraushar, my longtime colleague and collaborator on this book, because I was offered a challenge too big to pass up. I was asked to run the NBC-owned cable television company CNBC and to design and launch a new all-talk network, America’s Talking, which I did on July 4, 1994. I remain associated with Ailes Communications as its founder, and Jon continues to teach the Ailes Method, as it is explained in You Are the Message. But, in returning full-time to an early passion of mine—television production—I have new opportunities to observe and apply the lessons of this book.
Today, more than ever, we see that television, mass media, and the blooming of the Information Age have changed the way we communicate. For better and worse, we live in an age of exposure where electronic media can record, monitor, and broadcast our thoughts and actions. Whether we like it or not, society’s views of people and ideas are shaped and influenced by the flickering images on television and other electronic screens worldwide, carrying video, text, and sound. It can be breathtaking, exhilarating, or frightening to watch the impact and speed of the changes wrought by those images dancing across the monitors. We have seen political systems crumble or emerge, countries collapse or form, and personal fortunes soar or crash in, literally, seconds—just as long as it took to communicate.
As it says in this book, it takes only seven seconds for you to make an impression on other people. Ours is an era in which both information and interpretation keep getting more tightly compressed. That seven seconds is crucial in the making and breaking of impressions, relationships, sales, and decisions that affect the direction of our lives. Again, like it or not, a communication symbol of our age is the easily distracted, time-stressed television viewer using a remote control device to “channel surf” from program to program—from personality to personality—in mere seconds, in search of some gratifying mix of entertainment, inspiration, and information. That same restless, opportunistic viewer mentality confronts each of us as we present ourselves and our ideas to audiences small and large. You Are the Message is your guide for keeping others tuned in, to you.
Throughout the years, I have been a television producer, a frequent news source, and a commentator on issues including politics, entertainment, culture, and effective communication. But in 1994, I took on a new role. I became the host of a program on America’s Talking, called “Straight Forward,” where I interview interesting personalities from all walks of life.
I’ve thus come full circle in my career—from the coach to the presenter, from the man behind the camera to the man in front. Like all of us, I am subject to the rules and rewards described in this book. I occasionally stumble, and when I do, I review the principles of You Are the Message. I hope you enjoy this book and profit from it—by being who you really are, at your best.
Roger Ailes
March 1995
PREFACE
TO THE FIRST EDITION
The world has changed. So has the way we communicate. Those who fail to ada
pt will be left behind. But for those who want to succeed, there is only one secret:
YOU ARE THE MESSAGE.
That is the subject of this book.
This book is different from anything you may have heard or read about communications. The most exciting—and revolutionary—information in this book is that to be a good communicator you don’t have to do tedious drills or alter your basic personality. We’ll show you that you already have within you the tools to persuade and influence other people who are important to you, whether in your professional or personal life. Together we’ll examine what I call the composite you. That composite makes up the total message you send to others, and it includes: the words you use, your voice, the way you move, the signals you send with your facial expressions, and your attitude.
Among the things we’ll cover:
• How television has changed all the rules of communications and why it affects you more than you think
• How other people see you
• The four communications errors that your listeners won’t forgive
• Breaking through fear and other performance blocks
• A few simple rules to insure speaking success in every situation
• Who some of the master communicators are—and how they do it
• How you can get what you want by being who you are
1
THE FIRST SEVEN SECONDS
It occurred to me as the last iron door clanged shut behind me: “Nobody’s ever going to break out of this place.” Ten minutes later, in prison, I was face-to-face with Charles Manson, the cult leader serving nine life sentences for his role in what some consider the most gruesome and bizarre murders in history—the killings of actress Sharon Tate and six others.
It was 1981 and I was executive producer of NBC–TV’s “Tomorrow Coast to Coast,” starring Tom Snyder and Rona Barrett. Segment producer Shelley Ross had arranged for Tom to conduct the first network interview with Manson in thirteen years. Manson was housed in a maximum security prison for the criminally insane at Vacaville, California.
I had read all the books and background about Manson but was unsure of exactly how the interview would go. I knew that we were dealing with a person who was, at best, completely crazy.
The idea of the interview itself was controversial. Many people felt Manson should not be interviewed—should not be granted a public forum. Other people felt that since he was kept alive after California passed the “no death penalty” law, we might learn something by interviewing and studying this type of person. I had mixed emotions, but my job was to get the interview.