by Roger Ailes
In one case I asked him a question and his answer went on for over five minutes. He not only answered the question I asked him but answered three questions I didn’t ask him, two of which were not to his advantage. Even after I showed him the videotape, he rationalized and made excuses for all the talk. So I had a transcript made of the actual conversation. I made him sit and read the transcript out loud.
Once he did that, he became so embarrassed that he was convinced he had a problem. I then asked him to rewrite the answer to the question in the briefest form possible. It turned out that he came up with an excellent answer in three sentences which took exactly nineteen seconds.
TALK LESS
A general rule of thumb: Most of us talk more than we need to. Most of us tell people more than they need to know. Most of us ramble too much, and most of us take too long to say things. If you accept this, you can begin to clean up your conversation and become someone people want to listen to, instead of someone they feel they have to listen to. The moral: If most of the time you talk more than you listen, you’re probably failing in your communication, and you’re probably boring people, too.
6
THE FOUR ESSENTIALS OF A GREAT COMMUNICATOR
There are only four things people you communicate with won’t forgive you for: not being prepared, comfortable, committed, and interesting. Remember the first time you stood up in class to make a presentation? You might have been in the fifth grade. Your teacher, who was very strict, called your name, and your heart sank. Let’s go back in time and eavesdrop. I don’t mean to poke fun. After all, there but for the grace of God go all of us.
However, there’s fat Henry, with his runny nose and one sneaker untied. When it was his turn, he blushed so red that his face blended in with his freckles. There’s Rhonda, who stood frozen to the spot, afraid to smile because her braces made her mouth look like a barbed-wire fence. Then there’s Mort, the class “brain,” who wore his bow tie for the occasion but spoke with his eyes fluttering like a hummingbird’s wings.
In fifth grade, moments like these can traumatize you. Hopefully, we can all laugh now. But for many of us, it’s still a nervous laugh.
Many people had a mortifying experience the first time they gave a formal speech—and they’ve never gotten over it. In a later chapter, we’re going to examine the problems of stage fright and other anxieties associated with public speaking. But right now, I want to tell you about four things that audiences (no matter how large) won’t forgive in a speaker. If you concentrate on getting these few things right, most, if not all, of your fears about addressing audiences will disappear. And you’ll become an accomplished communicator. Remember, the essentials don’t change because the situation changes. These things work in interpersonal communications as well as in formal speeches.
These four elements—“the four essentials”—are simple. But they’re not necessarily easy. However, if you keep them in mind in every communication situation and practice them, you’ll automatically get better.
THE FIRST ESSENTIAL: BE PREPARED
Preparation is essential because whenever you speak to other people they must have absolute confidence that you know what you’re talking about. That doesn’t mean you have to be the world’s leading authority on the subject. But your listeners should feel that you know more about the subject than they do and that you’ve done some preparation for addressing them—either formally or informally.
A U. S. senator had a man on his staff who was an excellent speechwriter. One day the speechwriter, a rather shy young man, said to the senator, “Sir, I think things have been going quite well. The speeches I’ve written for you have been widely praised for their style and content. So I’d like a raise.” The senator replied in a huff, “Just keep writing the speeches.” And he refused him the raise.
The next day, the senator had a major address on television, and he started reading the first page of the speech. “Today,” he intoned, “I’m going to tell you about the four major problems we face as a nation,” and he went down his list. Then he said, “Now I’m going to tell you what I propose as solutions to these problems.” He turned the page, and it said, “Okay, you SOB, you’re on your own!”
WHERE TO START
The first thing an audience (no matter how small or large) won’t forgive you for is acting like that senator—failing to be prepared. I learned about preparation from my good friend Pearl Bailey. No performer in the world made it look so easy. Pearlie Mae, as she was known, even put on bedroom slippers in the middle of her act and sat in a rocking chair. She’d tell you how tired she was, wander around the stage, and talk to the band and the audience.
A casual observer would think she was absolutely winging it as she went along. But I’ve been at a Pearl Bailey rehearsal. The woman was a consummate professional. She mastered every note of music the band played. She knew the timing of every drumbeat. She measured the stage with her eyes so she knew exactly how far she could move. She knew where the lights hit, where her positioning tape marks were on the floor. She was aware of the sight lines of the audience and she controlled the rhythm of the whole act.
In rehearsal, she was as cool and tough as a Marine Corps drill sergeant. She was always pleasant, but she was also tough. She was so meticulous in rehearsal that she could afford to make it look easy once the show started. And when she performed, she was great.
I often think about her as I coach people to perform. Most people try to avoid the most important part—a little rehearsal. If they would just spend 20 percent of the time Pearl Bailey did getting ready, they’d be a lot better at “show time.” Not only must you be prepared, but you should do at least some of the preparation yourself, even if you’re a busy top-level executive.
Whether you work alone to prepare for a meeting or to give a speech or whether you have some outside help, you should begin by assessing the knowledge, interests, and needs of your listeners. Ask yourself: Why have I been asked to speak? What is expected of me on this occasion? How can I apply my special experience to the concerns of my listeners? Dictate or write your thoughts first without editing them. Then go back and polish the material.
SPEAK THE SPEECH
Another very important point of preparation is going over the speech out loud before you give it, so that you can change any words or phrases that you stumble over. If you do this, you’re almost guaranteed to do well.
Haven’t we all heard speakers who were unprepared? We feel embarrassed for the speaker and angry and frustrated that our time has been wasted.
NO COP-OUTS
Interestingly enough, many people who would not accept excuses from subordinates or coworkers about a poorly thought out and sloppily prepared assignment will cop out themselves in the most amateurish way about giving a speech or preparing a presentation for a business meeting. “Well, I didn’t have time. No, I didn’t rehearse it out loud. No, I didn’t look at it until I was on my way to the event. The speechwriter didn’t write what I wanted.” Well, these excuses are unacceptable. Why didn’t the person delivering the remarks correct these things?
If you find yourself making excuses, ask yourself these questions: What am I afraid of? Do I have performance anxiety? Am I afraid of being judged? Is this speech or appearance important enough to demand some of my time or can I assign it to a subordinate? If I don’t prepare and rehearse, what kind of example does that set for those who look up to me for inspiration or leadership?
A PREPARATION CHECKLIST
Please don’t be intimidated by the length of the following checklist for preparing a speech from an outline—the ideal method. The checklist will save you time in preparing your next speech.
A. Preparing
1. Evaluate your audience. Be aware, in advance, of their special interests, expertise, and desires or aspirations, so you can be sure to address them appropriately.
2. Consider the occasion. Your approach can be influenced by an event celebrated by the group, such as a holiday, anniversary, retire
ment, or announcement.
3. Determine the length of your talk. Always come in a bit shorter than you’re budgeted, and your audience will be surprised—and grateful.
4. Determine the purpose of your speech:
a. To entertain
b. To inform
c. To inspire
d. To persuade
Good speeches often combine elements of all four.
5. Decide on a central theme that can be written down in a single sentence. If you can’t write your theme on the back of a business card, it’s too complicated.
6. To aid your confidence, develop background knowledge in the speech area. You must do some of your own preparation.
7. Gather facts. Do research. Be sure your remarks are relevant to the interests of the group.
8. Consider the makeup of the audience and its present attitude toward you. For hostile or skeptical audiences, you will need to show that you understand all sides of the issue. For supportive audiences, your job is to reaffirm values.
9. Find a good opening line or story that relates to the speech. If it doesn’t interest you, it won’t interest your audience.
10. Possible speech structures include:
Past—Present—Future
Write down three to five questions the audience might ask of you—and answer them as the body of your speech
B. A Sample Speech Outline
Make your speech outline simple: triple-spaced and easy to read.
C. Speech Delivery
1. After the outline is made, develop wording of certain thoughts, including some memorable phrases and quotes. Be interesting!
2. Support statements with facts, examples, analogies, and so forth.
3. Practice the speech out loud into a tape recorder (vital to success).
4. Time the speech. Guesstimate 20 percent longer for actual delivery time to allow for the unexpected.
5. Consider the size of the audience you’ll be speaking to and practice to reach the back row (enough volume, but don’t shout or strain).
6. Take your time to get the audience’s attention before beginning your speech. Pause, then look up to establish eye contact.
7. Listen to your speech on audio or video recorder for voice transitions:
a. Rate or tempo changes
b. Sincerity
c. Intensity
d. Volume
e. Inflection (highs and lows)
f. Pronunciation
g. Drama (silences, shifts in pace)
h. Whether you sound confident
8. Rehearse it again out loud and be sure you have good eye contact. Can you lift your head from the outline without losing your place?
9. The more you rehearse out loud, the better the speech will be.
MAKE IT YOUR OWN
It’s important to make the material your own. President Reagan was a master at that. He’d go through his speechwriter’s material word by word, inserting his own ideas and phrasing. That may not even require a lot of time. Some of my clients can do it in half an hour at most, if they have a rough draft of their remarks. But many senior executives are just afraid they can’t do it, so they stay away from it completely. Whether you’re facing the board of directors or the PTA, your professional reputation is on the line—you must get involved. This is a very important use of your time. Making a good impression for yourself and the organization you represent is part of your job description. Again, essential number one is be prepared.
THE SECOND ESSENTIAL: MAKE OTHERS COMFORTABLE
To make others comfortable, you have to appear comfortable yourself. The best example of speaker comfort I’ve ever seen was a guest we had on “The Mike Douglas Show.” He was, of all things, the complaint manager at a local department store in Cleveland. We were doing a Christmas show, and we thought it would be interesting to have a complaint manager tell about some of the unusual gifts people returned, why they brought them back, and what the complaints were. This particular man was a jovial fellow, totally comfortable with himself, even though he weighed in at about three hundred pounds.
We had an area in the studio where the host and guests sat, and on it there was a small raised platform called a gazebo with four or five chairs. We were doing television live in those days, and inventing the form as we went along.
This huge complaint manager walked in and sat down on one of those chairs on the platform. There were three or four other guests already seated. During the program, he rocked back and forth on the back legs of the chair. I noticed that one of the chair legs kept inching closer and closer to the edge of the platform. We were three or four minutes away from a commercial break. I just prayed that we’d get to the break before the chair got to the edge. I tried to write a cue card to warn Mike what was happening, but I couldn’t get it across to him.
Finally, the inevitable happened. The leg went off the back edge of the platform, the chair tipped over backward, and right in midsentence this three-hundred-pound man rolled over, did a backward somersault, and disappeared out of sight. One instant he and Mike were talking, the next instant he was gone and there was a big hole in this group of people. The studio audience gasped.
Well, this guy was so comfortable with himself that he just picked himself up, picked up the chair, walked around in front, put down the chair, sat down, and without ever missing a beat continued the story he was telling. The audience and the whole television crew gave him a spontaneous standing ovation for coolness under fire. He was so comfortable throughout the whole episode that the audience just loved him. After that, he became somewhat of a regular on the show based on his ability to handle adversity with great comfort and aplomb.
WE’RE ONLY HUMAN
Most people would be so embarrassed by falling off the stage during a television program that they would never go on television again. I learned a lesson from that complaint manager twenty-two years ago and it has always stuck in my mind. We are all human. Accidents can happen. We are not perfect. We may even make fools of ourselves. But if we can smile and keep on going, we can win the audience.
The most successful senior executives I’ve seen are powerful but still able to make other people feel comfortable. John H. Bryan, Jr., chairman of Sara Lee Corporation, for instance, is a man who is deceptively casual in his approach to things. It is clear he has a razor-sharp mind and is capable of making very tough decisions, but he comes across as being very laid-back and relaxed. He can really make others feel at ease. He has a wonderful smile. He looks at you when he speaks to you.
GETTING COMFORTABLE
It’s easy to say, “Be comfortable,” but we have to define it a little bit further. And I’ll help you work toward that goal. People who are comfortable and who also put others at ease don’t overreact to events by getting uptight and causing others to do the same. If somebody comes into your office and tells you that a truck has just backed into your car and totaled it, it’s natural to be upset. It is not natural to rant in front of the person who simply delivered the bad news to you. We often do this to other people: We get upset with them rather than putting their role and our feelings into perspective.
At work, I’ve seen people who are told that a package has been lost in the mail. They get livid. It sets off a chain reaction in the office. It ruins not only that person’s day, but everybody else’s day. In the meantime, someone else with a cool head has contacted the messenger or mail service and has put a tracer on the package. Nine times out of ten, it’s found. If not, there’s not a darned thing you can do about it anyway.
There’s no use ruining the creative atmosphere of the office for the rest of the day. Yet you’d be surprised how many people can’t keep their emotions under control. This makes other people uncomfortable and reduces their ability to communicate effectively. Some people actually believe a wild display of temper makes them appear more important, when in fact it always reduces their stature in others’ eyes.
On the day of a speech, I try to stay clear of bad
news and negative people. If I can’t, I simply try to put the problem in context—in fact, I try to laugh at it. If I’m upset when I begin to speak, I’m going to make the audience uncomfortable.
If you’re striving to be more comfortable yourself and to make others comfortable—especially in your interpersonal communications—one place to start is to accept others for who they are. You have two choices: You can act as though you tolerate people, or you can appreciate people. Those who appreciate people are going to make others more comfortable.
I’ve seen many situations in business in which someone comes to the boss with an idea. The idea won’t work and may even be slightly crazy or counterproductive. Some bosses directly dress down the person—making the employee feel stupid. Other bosses just sit there with their arms crossed and a cold look in their eyes, communicating the message that the idea won’t work.
Bosses who are the best communicators let the subordinate explain the idea. The boss first smiles and thanks the person for coming in with a suggestion. Then the boss uses a question-and-answer approach—a dialogue—to help the person think through the implications of the idea until it’s apparent that it needs work. Getting positive reinforcement for the contribution, at least, makes the person comfortable—even motivated—to come up with a better idea. Isn’t that the goal, anyway? If you make others uncomfortable, they may never approach you again. There’s a cost to that—in morale and in the choking off of that one possible great idea in ten.
THE LIGHT TOUCH
A constructive way to make other people comfortable is to lighten up yourself. Take your job seriously but don’t take yourself so seriously. This applies one-on-one or when you’re talking to a larger audience. We’ll discuss this in more detail in a later chapter. But humor is a way to take the sting out of almost anything and is used entirely too infrequently in the world. John F. Kennedy and Ronald Reagan are two people recalled for having the most serious job in the world yet being able to lighten it up—for themselves and for others. Here are examples of both the Kennedy and Reagan wits, from various stages of their careers.