by Roger Ailes
• If you must read a speech, make it conversational. Look at the audience whenever you can. Don’t make sentences too long. Pace your reading so that your eyes are up at the end of a sentence, and never rush the speech. You want to be an interesting speaker, not just a good reader.
• You are the message. Bring personality and enthusiasm to your speech. This will enhance the message.
Questions/Exercises for Discussion and Reflection
• How would you describe the “composite” you? How would you describe the “composite message” sent by your favorite entertainer, coworker, friend, or relative? What can you learn about broadening your composite message from studying the composite messages of people you admire?
• Test your powers of observation and description by walking into a room, looking around for seven seconds, then closing your eyes and telling someone else everything you can recall about the room—colors, textures, inanimate objects, the expressions on people’s faces, such as warm, friendly, hostile, etc. Developing your ability to quickly absorb what’s going on around you will enable you to communicate better under many different circumstances.
• Make a list of everyone you have contact with on a given day. How would each person score on the “guest meter”? What kind of a guest might they be at a party or on a television talk show? How do you rate as a guest? What might others (or you) do to become more interesting, likable, and informed?
• Think of a time when you should have spoken up but either didn’t or, when it was already too late, tried to speak. How might you have communicated better in that circumstance?
• Read aloud from a speech or an article while standing in front of a mirror. How much eye contact can you manage, using the techniques in this book?
CHAPTER 4: INSTINCTS AND RULES
Summary
• Many public speaking courses are based on outdated approaches. Today we use our senses to observe and develop the process of communication. It’s visual and intuitive. It’s watching, feeling, sensing, hearing. It’s the new age of communication.
• A forced emotion convinces no one. An emotion triggered by a thought and resulting in natural expression is the beginning of mutual acceptance of ideas.
• Smiling originates first in the brain, then on the face.
• Fifteen minutes of practice a day in voice improvement not only adds quality to the voice but also improves pronunciation, articulation, and inflection.
• “Tape and ape” the best pros, not to mimic but to develop range and vocal variety.
• If you care about your subject, your listeners also will care.
• In every communications situation—one-on-one or in a group—ask yourself: What am I feeling here? If you sense that people are not tuned in to you, don’t waste your time pushing out ideas.
• We all have the capability to “read” and sense what’s happening with others. This ability is every bit as accurate as the eyes and ears. It can be your edge in negotiations.
• Other people’s perception of you is their reality. You must be aware of their assessment in order to effect good communication.
• In the dinosaur age of communications, you “projected” first and observed your audience later, if at all. In the new age, you observe what’s going on first and project afterward.
Questions/Exercises for Discussion and Reflection
• If you have access to a video camera and have a friend willing to interview you, record a discussion where the camera focuses on you while your friend asks you about your hobbies, your interests, or a range of issues drawn from whatever section of the newspaper you most enjoy reading. Watch the playback of the interview. How expressive were you in your verbal and nonverbal communication? If you didn’t know the person on the screen, would you still have enjoyed watching the interview?
• Tape-record your end of a telephone conversation. How does your voice sound? Is your pitch too high? What adjustments are advisable to make your voice more attractive? Using the suggestions in this book, work on your volume, pitch, inflection, emphasis, or other vocal characteristics. Then, compare how you sound when you record yourself again speaking on the telephone.
• Reread the list of tips for opening a speech or making remarks before any group. Try implementing at least one of the suggestions for quickly getting the audience’s attention.
• Each time you casually greet someone by asking “How are you?” reflect for a moment what you “absorbed” about the other person, based on his or her response.
CHAPTER 5: POOR RECEPTION
Summary
• People are inefficient listeners. Tests indicate that after listening to a ten-minute oral presentation, the average listener retains half of what was said. Within forty-eight hours, that drops another 50 percent to 25 percent retention level. By the end of a week, the retention level drops to 10 percent or less.
• As you develop your listening habits, listen for intent as well as content. If something sounds out of sync, ask for clarification.
• Human communication goes through three phases: speaking (transmission), analyzing (information processing), and listening (reception). Listen without overanalyzing; listen without interrupting the speaker, or you may short-circuit the listening process.
• Most of us talk more than we need to. If most of the time you talk more than you listen, you’re probably failing in your communication.
Questions/Exercises for Discussion and Reflection
• To identify how good you are as a listener, apply the “I. D.” test. “I” is for “interruption” and “D” is for “distraction.” When you’re listening, how often do you interrupt others or get distracted? Try to minimize both of these blocks to better understanding.
CHAPTER 6: THE FOUR ESSENTIALS OF A GREAT COMMUNICATOR
Summary
• Be prepared: (1) Your listeners must have confidence that you know what you’re talking about; (2) your listeners should feel that you know more about the subject than they do; (3) it must be apparent that you spent time preparing your subject and analyzing your audience; (4) there must be a purpose to your message—to inform, to entertain, to inspire, or all three; and (5) you may be facing a hostile or skeptical audience. (Before a hostile audience, you will need to show understanding of all sides of an issue; before supportive audiences, you will need to reaffirm shared values.)
• See chapter for checklist of tips for preparing and delivering a speech.
• Others take their cues from you. So try to relax. Keep things in perspective. Don’t overreact.
• Maintain your sense of humor. Take your work seriously but not yourself or human foibles.
• Avoid arrogance, lecturing others, and similarly disagreeable behavior. Focus more on empathizing than criticizing.
• Make others comfortable.
• Be committed: If you know what you’re saying, know why you are saying it, and care about what you are saying, you will say it well.
• Know when you have to be good and when someone else’s opinion of you counts; be yourself but at your best; always believe in what you’re saying.
• Be interesting: The Brotherhood of Boredom has had its day in communication. It will be tolerated less and less in boardrooms and meeting halls.
• You can add substance to communication and still project a style of delivery that is impressive to your listeners. Don’t be limited by the traditional scope of your subject. Think of analogies from other fields that can enliven your material and help the audience remember your key points.
• At least 30 percent of all your reading should be outside your own field. This will broaden your perspective and knowledge.
Questions/Exercises for Discussion and Reflection
• Next time you speak before a group, ask a friend in the audience to take notes on a single sheet of paper divided horizontally into four parts, with each section headed by one of the four essentials of a great communicator. Ask your fr
iend to write comments on how you fulfill each of the four essentials.
CHAPTER 7: THE MAGIC BULLET
Summary
• The “magic bullet” of personal communication is the quality of being likable.
• The “like factor” in politics can swing elections. In business, it can build relationships among employees on all levels.
• Likability is difficult to define or to teach, but the basic positives that reside in the likable person are (1) optimism, (2) concern about the welfare of other people, (3) ability to see the opportunity in every difficulty, (4) ability to handle stress, (5) ability to laugh easily, especially at himself, and (6) ability to perform at his best in crises and at his humblest in prosperity.
• To be a master communicator, one must add likability to the four essentials of being prepared, comfortable, committed, and interesting.
Questions/Exercises for Discussion and Reflection
• On which “likable” measures are you strongest? Weakest? What adjustments to your behavior or attitude could make you more likable? Discuss this with someone you respect and trust.
CHAPTER 8: THE DOUBLE-EDGED SWORD
Summary
• Emotion is the double-edged sword of communication. It is a constructive and powerful force of persuasion when genuine and positive, but mistrusted when negative and insincere.
• You reveal yourself to your audience through visible and expressed emotions. Your audience then knows who you are and why you’re there.
• People want to see a speaker’s range of emotions expressed with commitment and colored with nuances of humor, sincerity, energy, and enthusiasm.
• To an audience, there are head issues and heart issues. A good communicator increases his likability by varying cold facts with warm, genuine emotion. Facts provide information; emotion provides interpretation.
• Successful managers of the future will be “bilingual,” that is, comfortable with and adept at using the cultural styles of both men and women.
• A basic formula for professional success includes (1) integrity, (2) talent, and (3) good communication skills.
Questions/Exercises for Discussion and Reflection
• For you, what are three “head” issues and three “heart” issues? Try discussing these issues with other people (particularly if they disagree with you). Listen for and observe the emotion that comes out during the discussion. Is the emotion you express appropriate for the points you want to make, and are others displaying their emotions to advantage? Another way to study emotion is to watch a television talk show that features hosts and guests debating controversial social and political issues. How do you feel about the emotion projected by each speaker?
CHAPTER 9: BEYOND CHARISMA: CONTROL OF THE ATMOSPHERE
Summary
• Charismatic personalities never doubt their ability to add value to a situation, whether that value comes from the prestige of their presence, the quality of their knowledge and experience, the projection of their optimism and enthusiasm, or their distinct personality and style.
• Charisma is the ability to cause others to respond to you, as opposed to your responding to others. It is personal confidence, as opposed to the confidence imparted by a job title or other trappings of power.
• Those who control the atmosphere are risk takers with an aura of unpredictability—in essence, fearlessness without arrogance.
• Winners are thermostats—they set the right temperature. Losers are thermometers—they go up and down according to the climate others set.
• A charisma quotient measures self-confidence, leadership qualities, definable goals, control of one’s life, and the attributes of being comfortable and making others feel comfortable.
• A successful communicator is prepared to go into any kind of communication process and change the flow of thought.
This is control of the atmosphere through assertion of skill, personality, knowledge, and belief, and through the energy of enthusiasm.
• In all successful first meetings a comfort level is quickly established. During this sizing-up process, lines of communication are established which insure a comfortable process of conversation.
• Good speakers control space (how and where they move and gesture). They also control time (rate of speech, length of remarks, pauses, silence).
• People who control the atmosphere don’t act threatened, frightened, or superior. They treat everybody with the same comfort level and goodwill.
• A high control-of-the-atmosphere quotient reflects total control of time, space, eye contact, voice, state of mind, attitude, flow of dialogue, absorb-project balance, and personal feelings.
Questions/Exercises for Discussion and Reflection
Attend a meeting in your town of any civic group (Parent-Teacher Association or school board, government body, court session, local club, fellowship committee at a house of worship, etc.). Who among the participants communicate with confidence and control, regardless of their title or status? What do you notice about the way they carry and express themselves? If you have the opportunity, speak up about an issue that concerns you. Are you able to make your points in a way that holds the attention of the audience? Benchmark the performance of those you observe (or yourself) against the control-of-the-atmosphere factors listed in the chapter.
CHAPTER 10: AN OUNCE OF ENERGY IS WORTH A POUND OF TECHNIQUE
Summary
• With the right kind of energy, you’re focused, you’re interested in others, and you’re absorbing what others are telling you. You project enthusiasm.
• A good communicator’s energy is perceived as a “life force” vitality, a vigor exemplified by successful professionals in the business, sports, and media worlds.
• Properly focused energy comes across as a magnetic intensity, an inner flame that says, “I am committed, I believe, I want to tell you.”
Questions/Exercises for Discussion and Reflection
Try this experiment in the transforming power of positive energy. The next time you get to the head of the line at a ticket counter or ask anyone for information, greet the person with a sincere hello and a smile. Watch how the other person reacts to your friendly energy. Consider how a more energetic approach might work in a situation where you need to gain the goodwill or help of others.
CHAPTER 11: LIGHTEN UP, YOU’RE WEARING EVERYBODY OUT
Summary
• According to executive recruiters, seven out of ten people lose their jobs because of personality conflicts, not because of lack of skills.
• For middle management and up, the primary criteria for advancement are communication and motivation skills.
• The essential responsibility of any employee is to be positive, enthusiastic, and friendly.
• To lighten up doesn’t mean you become a comedian, but it does mean appreciating humor and seeing the lighter side in stressful situations.
• The six Rs of humor are research, relevance, rhythm, rehearsal, relaxation, and risk.
Questions/Exercises for Discussion and Reflection
The next time you feel yourself or someone else getting upset about something, try to control the situation by consciously de-escalating the tension. How might you put what is happening into a lighter, less serious perspective? Gauge your reaction by asking yourself this question: In two weeks, two months, or two years, will all this seem as important as it does now? If the answer is no, what can you do to smile, relax, make others more comfortable, and maybe even add a little levity to the situation?
CHAPTER 12: OKAY, AILES, FIX ME: THE AILES METHOD/COURSE
Summary
• No one can manufacture an “image” for anyone. All a consultant can do is advise and guide you on how to capitalize on your personal assets.
• Acting isn’t the skill required for effective communication of your own ideas. Acting is when someone hands you a script and asks you to be somebody other than who you really are.
• Performing demands that you be yourself. Acting is a passing illusion; performing is the “real you” at the gut and mind level reflecting true commitment.
• “At your best” is a simple checklist of factors: physical appearance, energy, speech rate, pitch, tone, phrasing, gestures, eye contact, and holding audience interest.
• Research has shown that audience interpretations of speaker messages are determined 55 percent by the speaker’s nonverbal communication (facial expression, body language), 38 percent by the speaker’s vocal quality (tone, pitch, volume, variation), and only 7 percent by the literal words.
• Overall, audiences remember concepts (idea clusters formed by the words) and emotional expression (as communicated through the eyes, face, voice, and body).
Questions/Exercises for Discussion and Reflection
In your personal estimation or according to a colleague or friend, how consistently are you communicating at your best, measured by the checklist of factors listed in the chapter? Are you willing to make an effort to improve? Whom do you know who might benefit from applying the checklist to themselves and how might you make them aware of it? Here are two options for getting feedback on your communication skills: (1) The next time you address an audience, if the occasion is appropriate, ask the person in charge of the meeting if he or she wants to distribute a brief evaluation form for your listeners to fill in about you, containing the checklist items. Be sure the form is distributed by the chairperson and is explained as coming from the sponsoring organization—not from you (you don’t want to seem too self-serving). (2) Another way to get feedback is to sit for a videotaped mock job interview conducted by a friend—whether or not you’re looking for a job. As you watch the playback, would you hire you? Choose at least one aspect of your communication skills that you’ll consciously work on this month.