A family by choice, not blood, but family nonetheless.
“’Preciate it.”
“Did you have a good party, baby girl?” Alec asked his daughter as they cuddled on the couch.
All the guests had long since left. Silver and Kennedy had made quick work of cleaning up his kitchen while Alec and the guys had assembled a huge, pink and purple plastic playhouse. The monstrosity now took up a good portion of his dining room.
Never in his wildest dreams did he imagine his life would be filled with playhouses, stuffed animals, and dolls. But there he was on his couch, his girl tucked to his side holding her favorite teddy and her blanket.
And he sat there thinking there was nothing better in the whole world.
Jocelyn didn’t answer so Alec continued, “Auntie Micky gave you enough cupcakes to give you a bellyache. You think we’re ever going to sleep tonight?”
Still, Joss said nothing.
“Happy birthday, Jossy.” Alec bent and kissed her still damp hair from her bath. And before he sat back he inhaled, taking in his daughter’s shampoo, thinking he loved the way it smelled.
It would be a long time before Jocelyn crawled on top of her dad, resting her cheek on his shoulder, holding her blanket to her face, and finally closing her eyes.
And during the quiet of their day, Alec’s thoughts were troubled.
Jaime should’ve been there to celebrate their daughter. She should’ve helped bake the cake, decorate it, cut it, watched Joss tear into her presents. Jaime should’ve been there for a lot of things she’d never witness. And it pissed Alec off knowing if Jaime was there, he wouldn’t be.
So once Alec stopped being mad at a dead woman who would never give him the answers he needed, he focused on Macy. The very alive woman who hadn’t shown up to Jocelyn’s party. Not that he expected her to, but he’d hoped.
And if he was being honest, it pissed him off that Macy hadn’t come because the truth was, he wanted to see her, spend some time with her, get to know her.
But she ghosted his ass.
9
I had successfully dodged Alec all week.
Monday morning when he’d dropped Jocelyn off, I’d made sure I was in my office elbow-deep in the all-important task of organizing files. He’d told Veronica that he’d be picking Joss up at five from then on instead of the extra hour I stayed so he could pick her up late.
For some reason, that felt like a kick in the teeth. I loved spending the extra hour with Joss. Just her and I in the quiet daycare, playing. However, the silver lining was I wouldn’t have to face Alec. That kinda stung, too.
At pickup I was genuinely busy and didn’t see him, nor did I get to say goodbye to Joss. That stung worse.
Tuesday morning, I hid in my office going over medical forms making sure they were up to date. And fifteen minutes before five, I found Jocelyn, gave her a cuddle, made her giggle, and said my goodbyes.
And that was how the rest of the week played out; me hiding in the morning and making myself scarce at pickup.
It was juvenile and I was acting like a total wimp and I knew it. But I wasn’t ready to face Alec.
Maybe next week.
I was too emotionally spent. Last Saturday had been the catalyst for some big changes in my life. Alec’s lecture had been a wakeup call—a huge one. I hadn’t needed my father’s confirmation that Alec had been right. However, hearing my dad telling me I wasn’t doing right by my kids was the kick in the ass I’d needed to start making some changes.
The first thing I did was sit the kids down and as gently as I could, explain that their dad had shown up while they were spending time with their grandparents and he wasn’t happy. That was met with some confusion on Rory’s part, since Doug had decided after over six months of not seeing the kids, he was all-in. This also included him being sweet as pie to his daughter. Which meant in her recent memory she’d never seen her dad not happy.
Caleb, however, was not confused—the last month Doug had been playing his game, my son hadn’t forgotten the ugly his dad could be. I’d watched with sadness as my boy’s face got hard and his eyes filled with anger. No, Caleb had not forgotten a damn thing. But my son being a good kid and a great big brother said not a word. That was, until I finished explaining that from then on, the days that their father picked them up, we would be meeting him at the community center.
I’d made that decision on the drive home. I was setting boundaries and my home was off-limits. The home I provided for my children was a safe place—theirs and mine. And Doug would no longer show up, shout the neighborhood down, get in my face, and make it unsafe.
My declaration confused Rory even more. I had an easy explanation at the ready—for now anyway. Caleb’s little league football practice ended at six, the park was next to the community center, and Rory’s afterschool program was at the community center, making it easier for their dad to pick them up.
Rory bought it. Caleb not so much.
That led to a very uncomfortable conversation with my son after Rory went to sleep. One that my boy started by asking me why my knuckles were swollen—and yes, I’d iced them. It was then I did something I never thought I’d do; I told Caleb the truth. Or as much of the truth as I could stomach without out-and-out calling his father a fucking asshole.
I’d also had to admit I’d lost my temper and hit Doug. Therefore, I tried my best to use my inappropriate actions as a teaching moment of what not to do.
My son did not take my violent outburst as a bad thing. I knew this because my sweet Caleb’s response was, “It’s about time. Now maybe he won’t yell at you anymore.”
His retort shocked me, even though it shouldn’t have. Caleb knew, he’d seen it enough times, and unlike his little sister, he remembered.
That didn’t hurt, it fucking scorched hate through me.
Fucking Doug.
I ended the conversation asking if he had any questions or if there was something he wanted to talk about. Caleb declined and my heart sank. Gone was my little boy who wanted to talk to me about everything under the sun, and in his place was a young man battling his emotions by keeping them locked inside.
Seeing that fortified my resolve.
I had to make a stand. For me. For my children. For our future.
Never again would my kids see me cower and cave. And if that meant Doug threw a holy shit fit and they were privy to his ugliness, I’d deal with it. But my daughter would not grow up thinking it was okay for a man to scream in your face. And my son would not grow up to be the type of man his father was.
Over my dead body.
And I prayed it didn’t come to that because Doug could get mean.
“Macy?”
I glanced up from my desk and looked at Veronica.
“Everything okay?”
“Yeah. I just wanted to say goodbye.”
I checked the time, not realizing it was so late.
“Okay. Have a good weekend. See you Monday.”
“Um… is everything all right with you?”
I sat up straight and plastered a fake smile on my face before I answered.
“Of course. Everything’s great,” I lied.
“You sure? You seemed…off this week.”
“Positive. Just busy this week. Dreaded paperwork. You know I’d rather be out with the kids than locked in my office.”
That wasn’t a lie. I loved my job but hated being stuck in my office.
“Okay. I just thought I’d check. Have a good weekend.”
“Thanks, I will.”
Another lie. My weekend would suck. It was Doug’s weekend, meaning I’d be all alone and my children would be with a viper for two days. And there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about it.
“Is this fucking necessary?” Doug asked through gritted teeth.
I knew it was coming, therefore I was prepared. I also knew he’d wait until the kids—or more to the point, Rory—was in his car so she wouldn’t hear him being a dick.
This, I appreciated. Though I was still worried why he’d suddenly made a change that seemed to only be about my daughter. And I was even more worried because the nicer he became to Rory the harder he was on Caleb. Not in a fatherly way, guiding his son to be a man with a strong hand while being gentle and understanding. Nope, not Doug. He was just being a hard-ass.
“It is and I told you why.”
“This isn’t going to work for me. I’m not picking my kids—”
“It doesn’t have to work for you. It has to work for the kids and for me. You are no longer welcome at my home. Not to pick up Caleb and Aurora. Not to come there and cause a scene. Not for any reason. You do and I’ll call the police.”
Doug’s mouth bowed up in a cocky smile and I braced. I knew, fucking knew, this was coming, too.
“Now what would Rory think about you calling the police on her daddy?”
Rory. Not Caleb and Rory.
“I don’t know, Doug, and I hope I don’t have to find out. But maybe you should be more worried about what Caleb and Aurora would think about why I’d have to call the police.”
“My baby girl—”
“Is six and she shouldn’t be put in the middle. She certainly shouldn’t have to know that I was forced to call the police because her father’s an ass that constantly gets in her mother’s face. But if you go there and tell her. I’ll deal with it.”
Doug took a step closer to me and I carefully blanked my face since Caleb could very well see me.
“You talking shit about me to my kids?”
“Nope.”
“I’m telling you now, you worthless piece of shit, you open your trap to my daughter and talk shit I’ll make it so those are your last words.”
“Have a nice weekend, Doug. I’ll meet you here on Sunday at noon.”
“I’m dropping them at your house.”
“You do that and you’ll be met by the police.”
This time when Doug smiled at me it was not cocky—it was downright frightening.
“I see you’re the same stupid bitch you’ve always been.”
I didn’t answer. I stepped around Doug, waved to Caleb, blew kisses to my sweet, baby girl, then walked on wobbly legs to my car.
I waited until Doug drove away before I started my car.
It took me three tries, my hands were shaking so badly.
The knock came at seven-thirty.
I was sitting on my couch, already in my jammies, nursing my sorrows with a bag of microwave popcorn and Angry Orchard.
So I ignored it.
My parents were out of town for the weekend, the kids were at Doug’s. My friend Becky had already reported Doug had made it to his place, each kid carrying a McDonald’s bag. Then she’d texted a few minutes ago to tell me Doug’s truck was still in the driveway.
That was my best girl, always looking out for me. She’d had a conniption when after my divorce, Doug had moved in across the street and two doors down. She and her husband Rob had lived there forever, therefore, Doug knew he was moving into her ‘hood. That pissed her off because she felt like Doug was rubbing her nose in all the skanks he brought back to his place, and by extension, mine.
Rob, of course being the sane one in our trio had calmed his wife down explaining it was a good thing Doug lived so close so they could keep an eye on my kids when they were at Doug’s house. So for the last three years, I got updates when my kids were at Doug’s.
Knowing a little bit about what was going on helped, but it did have a downside. And that was, Rob hated Doug only a little less than my dad, and that was only two steps down from how much I despised him. I think the only person who hated Doug more than me was Becky.
Becky was easy to contain, Rob not so much. And the longer my ex-husband kept fucking with me the harder it was to talk Rob out of bashing his head in with a crowbar. Which he would totally do for me if I gave him the go-ahead.
Something I would never do, because he had two boys who loved him and my kids adored their Uncle Rob and would miss him if he went up the river for twenty-five to life. Becky, however, would gladly visit her man behind bars and only getting conjugal visits if it meant Doug was no longer breathing. That was how much my best girl loved me.
Therefore, I could ignore the knocking at my door because I knew precisely where everyone I cared about was.
What I couldn’t ignore was the pounding.
I tossed the blanket off my legs, set my popcorn on the table and prowled to the door.
I didn’t bother checking the window or the peephole when I threw my door open, ready to lambast whoever was daring to disturb my sulking.
I didn’t get a word out before a very angry Alec got in there first.
“What the fuck?”
I glanced at him, then at Jocelyn who was perched on his hip and asked, “What the frick what?”
Sure I cursed, I cursed a lot in my head. I tried my best not to do it in front of my children and normally succeeded except for an occasional damn or shit, but never fuck. And I certainly never cursed around other people’s kids—not even a shit or damn, and absolutely never a fuck.
Though Alec didn’t seem to have the same qualms. Admittedly, Jocelyn was too young to understand, but still.
“You didn’t check who was at your door.”
“And lucky for you I didn’t or I wouldn’t have opened it, depriving you of spreading your cheer.” I kept my hand on the door and asked. “What are you doing here?”
“Mamamamama,” Joss chanted and my heart melted.
The first time she’d babbled “mama” and planted her chubby face in my neck, my heart flipped. Then I reminded myself I was not her mama, and I couldn’t allow a child, no matter how I adored her, to call me something I wasn’t.
That started me telling her my name was Macy. Jocelyn had continued calling me “mama” and I’d convinced myself she was saying Macy in baby babble. And I did this for my own peace of mind. I’d never heard Joss call Veronica “mama” nor did she call any of the other women who worked at the daycare “mama.” Only me. So it was easy to convince myself she was calling me Macy.
“Hey, Joss,” I cooed and Jocelyn threw herself in my direction.
Alec happily passed his daughter to me and I realized too late that was his plan.
Fuck.
I only thought the fuck so it didn’t count as cursing in front of Jocelyn.
Alec easily pushed his way into my house now that my arms were full of cuddly baby and shut the door behind him.
The nerve.
“What’s happening?”
Alec didn’t answer but he did look at my coffee table.
“Have you eaten dinner?”
“What?”
“Dinner? Have you eaten?”
“Well, I was eating dinner but you interrupted it.”
Alec glanced back at the table and when his gaze came back to me he did a top to toe scan.
“Popcorn?”
“Yeah, popcorn.”
“Popcorn is not dinner, Macy.”
Jeez, what had his Jockey’s in a bunch?
“As much as I appreciate your concern for my nutritional intake maybe you wanna tell me why you’re here.”
Jocelyn thought this was the perfect opportunity to fist my necklace and yank. Something she did every time I was holding her.
“No, no, sweets, don’t pull.” I gently disengaged her fingers and kissed them until she was smiling then looked back at Alec.
He was staring at me strangely, as a matter of fact, it was a look I’d seen from him a lot. Sometimes I caught him out of the corner of my eye watching me with Jocelyn. Sometimes, like now, I saw the look full-on. No matter how I saw it, it always gave me pause.
Contemplative.
A little sad.
I couldn’t exactly put my finger on it but I didn’t like it. Not because it was creepy, but because I didn’t like to think of Alec as being unhappy.
“Alec?”
“You’
re good with her.”
I forced my body to stay still even though I wanted to recoil from his dejected tone.
“I’m sorry.”
I wasn’t exactly sure what I was apologizing for but I felt the need since so much sadness had crept into his voice.
“Nothing for you to be sorry about.” Alec cleared his throat and schooled his features. And suddenly I hated that he was trying to hide from me. “Wanted to see if you wanted to grab dinner.”
It took me a moment to process what he’d said. I was still stuck on why I cared that he’d cleared his face of any emotion. Jocelyn wiggled, reminding me I was holding her. Not that holding her was unusual—I did it nearly every day—but I’d never done it outside of daycare hours and never while standing in my living room.
Grab dinner?
Was he crazy?
10
Alec knew he was staring, knew he did it every time he saw Macy with his daughter and he still couldn’t stop himself.
It wasn’t like he didn’t see women with Jocelyn. McKenna would be over the moon if he and his kid moved in with her and Nix so she could spend more time with Joss. Hell, the woman had offered to quit her job at Gemini Group and babysit instead of Alec putting Joss in daycare.
Silver and Kennedy also spent a good amount of time cuddling his girl, but it was different when Macy did it.
He couldn’t explain why, he just knew his chest didn’t burn when the other women made his daughter smile.
“Dinner?” Macy’s question cut through his thoughts.
“Yep.”
“I’m not dressed for dinner.”
“We’ll wait.”
Macy fidgeted with Jocelyn but did this while shaking her head. “I’m not hungry, Alec.”
Right, because she’d eaten fucking popcorn for dinner.
He paused, taking in her appearance, the two bottles of Angry Orchard, the goddamned microwave popcorn, and the blanket in a heap on the couch. Macy’d settled in for the night—alone in her living room because her children were at her fuckface ex’s house.
Alec's Dream (Gemini Group Book 4) Page 6