“I’m competitive about things I think I can win,” Blake answered easily. “I’m not actually great at charades and I already knew that Connor was going to be shit. I once saw him fuck up miming hockey , so...” There Blake gave Thea a grin as they walked towards the slopes.
It was true that Blake was very competitive about hockey, maybe video games, too. But both were things he knew he could excel at. Charades hardly made that list. “Skiing, I’m also pretty good at,” he told Thea, amusement clear in his tone. Honestly, it had been a very long time since Blake had been competitive with someone in skiing. His brother probably was the last person and that had been years ago.
“ Pretty good,” Thea repeated teasingly. “We’ll have to see about that. It’s been ages since I came skiing. I think yesterday got me warmed up nicely.” They made their way towards the lift, joining a small line of people waiting to be transported up to the top of the mountain.
“What’s your preferred kind of ski competition?” Thea asked. “A straight race?”
Blake gave Thea a look like she was crazy for suggesting he’d pick straight race as his favorite. “Combined, or at least slalom,” he said shaking his head. “Anything less just seems... not exciting enough.” Straight skiing was fine , but it didn’t have the right sort of challenges for Blake.
“But I guess we can do that if that’s what you prefer,” he hummed as the ski lift approached. They got on it, holding their skis as it took them up the mountain. “Are we competing just for victory?” Blake asked turning slightly towards Thea.
Thea shifted beside him, her shoulder brushing against his arm. “I like slalom,” she insisted. The cold air had pinked her cheeks and reddened her lips. It was the competitive glitter in her eyes that made Blake’s heart pound.
She was quiet for a moment. Blake remembered to tear his eyes away, looking out over the mountain view that seemed to have captured her attention. It was stunning. Being up above the world like this, it was easy to feel like they were the only two people to exist.
“Winner buys the loser a hot chocolate?” Thea suggested. “I’m sure your strict sports’ diet will allow for one indulgence over Christmas.”
Blake laughed at that. It was such a low-key reward. “Yes, that works,” he nodded. Competing over a hot chocolate made the whole thing even better. “Well,” Blake said giving Thea a wide grin. “Good luck.”
With that, Blake jumped from the ski lift before they’d reached the very top, taking the advantage of surprise. He wasn’t around the first bend before Thea was already catching up with him. Even though Blake had known she could ski well, he hadn’t anticipated how brilliantly Thea raced, not until she overtook him in one easy swoop.
Even upping his game, cutting corners and going faster, still barely let Blake catch up. They were skiing past trees, much closer than was advisable. Blake could feel his adrenaline spiking. It made Blake make stupid choices. In one turn he almost knocked Thea over.
She still fell, but less dangerously than if Blake had actually bumped into her. She slid on the snow for a good few feet. Blake stopped as suddenly as he would have done on skates, the clips on the skis unclipped faster than he could think.
“Shit, Thea, are you okay?” he asked, sliding down next to her, reaching for her head to make sure she hadn’t banged it.
Her skin felt warm under Blake’s touch, and he cradled the side of her neck gingerly. She looked up at him. Though she opened her mouth to speak, she didn’t say a word. Blake’s thumb found the angle of her jaw, stroking over the skin there without truly thinking about what he was doing.
He had been about to ask again whether Thea was okay. Before he could, she leaned in, closing the distance between them. Compared to the chill air, Thea’s mouth felt almost scalding hot against his. She pushed herself up with one hand against the snowy ground. The other tangled in the ties at the neck of Blake’s ski jacket.
With the adrenaline still cruising in his veins, Blake hadn’t expected this. It took him less than a second to kiss back, lips opening to let Thea’s tongue in. Everything else ceased to exist. All Blake could think and feel was Thea, how amazing she felt her heat radiating against him. Even with both of them in ski clothes, it was impossible not to think about how great she felt against him.
The whole of Blake’s body felt like it was filling with fire, such raw need as he pulled Thea in closer. Just as suddenly, he realized that they shouldn’t be doing this. No matter how good it felt, it was wrong .
“Sorry, I’m sorry,” Blake said as soon as his lips left Thea’s. “God, I shouldn’t have done that, I’m sorry. I just wanted to check if you’re okay, fuck, this isn’t... I’m sorry,” he rambled.
Thea’s eyes were wide like her thoughts were racing just as quickly as Blake’s. “Shit,” she muttered. Scooting herself upwards into a sitting position, she lifted a hand to her head, wrapping her other arm around her knees. It pulled her body away from Blake’s. He couldn’t tell which was stronger, the relief not to be touching her or the ache that she’d deliberately moved away from him.
“You didn’t do anything,” she said, and though her voice sounded small, she looked determined. “I kissed you.” She dug her teeth into her lower lip so hard it went white. “I wasn’t thinking,” she admitted. “ I just - it was stupid.”
“I kissed you back,” Blake pointed out fairly . Yeah, she had kissed him, but it would be such a massive lie to say he hadn’t responded ever so eagerly. It had , however, been stupid. He was dating Thea’s best friend, he had no right going around kissing her. Even if he wished he did.
Shaking his head, Blake leaned back, holding his hand out to Thea so he could help her up. “Lets just... Not talk about this, yeah?” It was a coward’s way out. Blake couldn’t imagine that Thea wanted to talk about it any more than he did. They shouldn’t have kissed. Blake couldn’t take that back, but he also wasn’t sure he wanted to .
This was bad.
So obviously just ignoring it was the best approach.
“Yeah,” Thea agreed, almost startling Blake out of his thoughts. “It’s not as if it meant anything.” Blake wasn’t sure whether he was imagining the uncertainty in her voice. He decided to ignore it. If the kiss hadn’t meant anything, they didn’t have to worry about it. They could carry on with their skiing as if nothing had even happened.
Thea seemed to be following a similar train of thought. She dusted herself down and settled herself on her skis once more. “Come on,” she said, “I’ll help you clip back in and then we can finish that race.” She didn’t say so, but Blake had a feeling they wouldn’t be going for that hot chocolate after. It was probably better if they weren’t alone together for any longer than they had to be.
Thankfully, both of their competitiveness came out as soon as their skis touched snow. In the end, it was hard to tell which of them had even won, both telling the other that it was probably them. Blake assumed that in a way it was just so they wouldn’t then have to go for an awkward drink.
Maybe later it would feel less awkward and they could return to that.
Maybe later Blake could forget how good Thea had felt.
Maybe later things would feel less weird .
Chapter Seven
The walk home was almost painfully awkward. Thea did her best to keep talking. If she kept telling Blake all her funniest customer interactions then neither of them would have to think about the kiss.
If only it were that easy. No amount of chatter could completely wipe the feeling of Blake’s lips from Thea’s memory. He’d cupped her cheek so softly, like her being hurt would be a genuine tragedy. When Thea had kissed him, she hadn’t predicted all the feelings that had welled up in her. It had been a long time since she’d felt like that about another person.
Thea wasn’t sure she’d ever felt like that.
That only made it worse. If Thea’s feelings hadn’t surprised her so much, maybe she could have done better at not getting them into this situation. N
o matter what Blake said, Thea felt responsible. If for no other reason than because Doe was her best friend. Sure, Blake had been on a few dates with her, but they hadn’t even slept together. It wasn’t as if they were tying the knot.
Thea was the one who should’ve known better. She couldn’t imagine how Doe would feel if she knew. In all their years of friendship, Thea had never knowingly done anything that would hurt her. She’d said a few thoughtless things, especially when she hadn’t known Doe as well as she did now. One time she’d lost a scarf Doe’s mother had given her. That was the limit.
If she kept talking, there wouldn’t be space in her head for arguing with herself about whether or not she owed it to Doe to tell her.
When they actually approached the cabin, Thea’s stream of chatter stopped dead. The silence was like a physical weight between them. They both paused, looking at each other in the early twilight of a winter’s evening. Thea wanted to say something . Her mind went blank. Blake didn’t look like he was doing much better.
Anything they could say would only make everything worse . Determined to ignore the pang in her chest, Thea yanked the door open.
The room she entered looked so different from the one they’d left that morning that Thea turned to ask Blake if he’d brought them to the wrong house!
Garlands of evergreen leaves covered every banister, filling the cabin with the woodsy scent of pine. Christmas lights twinkled around the window and wrapped around a huge tree against the far wall. Baubles in every imaginable color hung not only from the branches of the tree but also along the windowsill and above the fireplace. There were even, unless Thea was very much mistaken, stockings.
“Where did all this come from?” Thea asked, half-turning to Blake. It was, after all, his house. If anyone would know where the decorations had appeared from, it would be him.
Before Blake could answer, Connor had barrelled into the room. “Oh!” he shouted. “They’re home! We thought you’d got lost .” It wasn’t that late. Thea let Connor bundle Blake away to sort out drinks for the evening. It was almost a relief to see him walk away.
And yet it hurt , too.
Following more slowly, Thea found Doe, Remy and Ashley half-buried under a pile of tinsel.
“You’ve been busy,” she observed, taking a seat on the couch to ease her snow boots off.
“Doe and Remy did it all,” Ricky announced, bouncing into the room to take the seat next to her.
“We didn’t do it all ,” Remy corrected, pausing just long enough to smile at Doe, who was blushing prettily at the implied praise. “Everyone helped a little.”
Ricky snorted, shaking his head. “We did what you told us to,” he said. “And we wouldn’t even have done that if you two hadn’t convinced us it would be a good idea.” He nudged Thea in the ribs. “I don’t even decorate at home for Christmas,” he confided. Thea laughed.
“I haven’t had to since I moved in with Doe,” she said lightly. It made her heart squeeze tight against her ribs. Thinking of how good Doe had always been to her, especially at Christmas, made it so much more painful to think about how Thea had let her down.
She let the others - mostly Ricky and Ashley - tell her the story of how Doe had wondered if there were Christmas decorations, and Remy had remembered Blake saying they could cut down a tree. Thea was almost sorry she’d missed it. If she’d stayed at the cabin, nothing terrible would have happened. She wouldn’t have this crushing weight on her chest. She wouldn’t have the sense memory of Blake’s lips on hers.
“Are you alright?” Remy asked, surprising Thea out of her downward spiral. Doe, too, turned to look. That made Thea feel worse. She was sure she blushed.
“I’m just tired,” she answered. “I think I might go and have a nap before dinner.”
No-one stopped her.
Even with the door to her and Doe’s room firmly closed, Thea couldn’t find enough peace to doze off. Almost before she knew it, she was being called down to eat. They played more games after dinner - Pictionary, this time - but Thea struggled to find her usual competitive spirit. If anyone noticed, they didn’t say anything.
Thea doubted she’d be so lucky with Doe.
Christmas Eve dawned clear and frosty. Connor wanted to show Remy how to snowboard and urged Ashley to come and watch his ‘skills’, as he called them. Ricky and Blake drove down to the nearest gym, wanting to get a workout in before the indulgence of the Christmas feast.
It left Doe and Thea on their own in the cabin. Thea hadn’t told Doe about what had happened between her and Blake. Every time she decided that she should, her courage failed her.
Besides, Blake could be Doe’s soulmate. That made Thea feel like an even worse friend.
“Do you want to make gingerbread?” Thea asked brightly. If they both had something to occupy themselves, perhaps they wouldn’t need to have a heart-to-heart. “Ashley said there was baking stuff in one of the cupboards.”
“Yeah, that sounds like a great idea!” Doe nodded happily. She went about getting the different bowls and trays, leaving it to Thea to gather the ingredients. Thea couldn’t help but glance over at Doe every so often. She looked... really happy. There was a smile on her lips. While Doe was usually a pretty happy person, this seemed an unusual level of happiness even for her.
As bad as she felt, Thea still wanted to share in the highs of Doe’s life. That was what best friends did , as well as comfort each other through the lows. It would’ve felt wrong if she hadn’t talked to Doe at all.
“So, how does this rate in your list of best Christmases?” Thea asked, only slightly teasingly. “It’s a proper white Christmas, and there are amazing decorations, so I’m guessing pretty high?”
Doe laughed at that, giving Thea a grin over her shoulder as she set down a mixing bowl. She then glanced through the window to where a snowman someone had made the day before still stood.
“I love it,” Doe finally answered. “It’s so... Christmassy .” Which of course it was, but Thea got what Doe meant. Snow and Christmas tree and decorations were all things that made the place feel like Christmas. “And,” Doe added after a pause, glancing away so that Thea could see the blush creeping up the back of her neck, “the company’s pretty nice.”
Thea felt her stomach give a sick sort of twist. It wasn’t right to keep Doe in the dark like this. On the other hand, could Thea really tell her now ? It would ruin Christmas. What if Doe felt she had to leave? It wasn’t as if she could get back to Madison before tomorrow.
Taking the mixing bowl, Thea added the first of the ingredients. Mixing them together with the spoon made her feel a little less awful. “It is nice,” Thea said, with forced good cheer. “Even Ricky seems a lot less… intense up here.”
At least that earned her another laugh. Thea much preferred to hear Doe laugh than... whatever she thought the reaction might be if she told Doe the truth.
“Ricky’s sweet,” Doe commented. “I also really like Ashley. At first, she seemed... intense. She’s actually pretty relaxed now that things are going smoothly.”
Thea nodded. It was much easier to talk about Ashley than to think about Blake. Thea hadn’t even spoken to him since they’d come back from skiing. Not more than she’d absolutely had to, anyway.
“She and Connor seem super happy together,” Thea offered. “It’s weird. They’re so different, I don’t really understand why they work.” Thea always looked for guys who were like herself - brash and competitive and willing to laugh at themselves. She certainly wouldn’t have thought to pair Connor’s haphazard energy with Ashley’s precise organizational skills.
“They’re soulmates,” Doe offered before frowning. “But I’m not sure that’s... it? They seemed to... communicate well. Maybe it’s that. I know that matching soulmarks don’t necessarily mean you’re soulmates, but they look like soulmates.” Doe gave a small shrug then, like she wasn’t convinced that her statement was true. Thea couldn’t quite place which bit.
It d
idn’t seem directed at Ashley and Connor. “Have you seen her soulmark?” Doe asked before Thea could clarify. “She wears it so openly. I’ve never really seen someone wear it so openly.” It was true that Ashley didn’t try to hide her mark at all.
Some people didn’t after they’d met their soulmate, but Connor still had his covered. “I asked her, she said she’d never covered it,” Doe added. “I can’t imagine not , you know? To have it so... exposed .”
Thea nodded. “I thought about it, for a while,” she admitted. “Wearing mine openly, I mean. My parents were scandalized.” She managed a laugh, one that even felt genuine. More so than when she’d dyed her hair or had her nose pierced, threatening to go out in shorts without a sticker over her soulmark had been what got her parents’ attention.
“I never actually did it,” Thea admitted. Maybe she would have if the name hadn’t been ‘Frederick’, but it had been. There was no use wishing it were something else. Certainly, no good could come from wishing it was ‘Blake’.
Focusing her attention on their dough, Thea added the remaining ingredients. “Do you think you’d ever wear yours openly?” she asked. “I mean, even once you’re married, or something.”
Unlike Thea’s soulmark, which was often easy enough to hide without a sticker if she just wore pants, Doe’s was above her hip. It made itself visible every time Doe’s shirt rode up, so she always had a sticker on. At least there were still ways to hide it. Ashley’s soulmark was on her arm - a place exposed much more often.
Thea caught herself briefly wondering about where Blake’s soulmark was and if Doe knew where it was. Thankfully, Doe’s reply drew her back from those thoughts.
“Maybe if I was married. I like the idea of my soulmate seeing it,” Doe admitted, before smiling softly. “My parents wear them freely around each other, I like that.”
Thea smiled, too. She had no idea whether her parents even knew one another’s soulmarks. Probably not, and she couldn’t help but feel that was a little sad. “Yeah,” she agreed. “I think I feel the same.” Thea had more or less resigned herself to not ending up with a ‘Frederick’. At least she wanted someone she could show her soulmark to, and explain her reasons.
Best Shot (Madison Howlers Book 2) Page 10