by Lily White
His acting on the night of my date with Gabe, however, was amazing, the entire thing a ruse to make me seem as meek and mild as possible.
Like an idiot, Gabriel believed it. But then, a lot of people do. I have two distinct and separate lives, the one I make available to the public and the real one.
After getting busted in high school for all the trouble I caused, I learned quickly that on the surface, I need to appear like Mary Poppins, while the real me continues with the normal shenanigans outside of view.
That’s typical of life lived under a microscope, though. You present one public face that’s only a practiced mask intended to deceive.
That’s why I have two accounts on every social media site, one under my real name, and another using a fake name only my inner circle knows.
I spend the next few hours updating both.
According to my fake accounts, I’m back at home attending to all my usual functions, while on my real accounts, I’m documenting all the fun I’m having without mentioning exactly where I am.
After accomplishing that, I step outside onto the balcony, my eyes scanning the sandy beach where it stretches out into the distance.
The crash of waves lulls me into a relaxed stupor, my hair lifting from my shoulder by a light breeze that carries the scent of the ocean with it.
Seagulls dance through blue skies, their high-pitched calls adding to the chorus of serenity the beach provides.
I could live in a place like this if my father would let me, but he insists I stay in the city near him, although he’s never given me a reason why.
The man won’t let me do anything with myself. A job is out of the question, as well as anything else, and I’m of the opinion that he is determined to mold me into a replica of my social butterfly mother.
Except, that’s the last thing I want, and while I could rebel and take off to do my own thing, there is still the weight of loyalty and responsibility that sits heavily on my shoulders.
I love my parents, and that’s a hard truth to swallow because it’s my love for them that keeps me trapped. I never want to disappoint anybody, not like I did so often when I was younger.
All the mistakes I made growing up have left me feeling unsure about myself now. I’d thought I was smarter than the pack, so damn sneaky that I could get away with anything.
Except, that wasn’t the truth at all. It was a steady succession of mistakes that led me to the final one - the BIG one - the mistake that sent me crawling straight to Tanner for him to fix.
Ever since that day, I’ve been too afraid to trust my instincts, too embarrassed to pick up the pieces and try again.
And maybe that’s why I let my father dictate my life. Sometimes, it’s easier to hand over the reins to someone else rather than set out on your own and risk failure.
Stepping up to the balcony railing, I balance my arms on the cool cement, lean down and track a child that runs across the sand with a kite fluttering behind him.
It barely lifts into the air, the cheap wooden frame bouncing on the ground, but the boy still has a broad smile on his face that is insanely adorable.
In many ways, I feel like that kite, so many false starts that only sent me crashing down. And how funny that the person tugging on the string that leads the kite is a boy with a smile to die for.
My thoughts are back on Gabriel again, even though that’s the last place they need to be.
On our date, I’d hoped to find out exactly what information they want from me, but as usual, Gabriel expertly deflected the topic, and I was left having to send my message along before running away.
I never expected to enjoy the time we spent together, never wanted my thoughts to reach back to a night when I’d witnessed something I shouldn’t and lived to regret.
Still, that night was heavy on my mind, my heart breaking for the truth of the man who sat across from me at the table.
For all the shitty things Gabriel does, I understand why he hides so much. He’s more broken than anybody realizes.
He’s beautiful, too. Not in the calculated, dangerous way that Tanner is, and not in the vibrant, sex god way that Jase is.
Gabriel is soulful in a way not many people would expect of him, his witty charm and easy humor a disguise that protects the beating heart beneath.
I see it.
I know it well, actually.
And I think that’s part of why he hates me.
How wrong is it that my soul came to life the moment we kissed in the car?
We’ve always had that effect on each other, though. It’s as if our life energy isn’t quite complete on its own, but when combined, a slow pulse becomes a frenetic hum, the surge of it always stealing my breath to leave me mindless.
I’d intended to kiss him, but had convinced myself it wouldn’t mean anything. It was a game and nothing more, a tease I’d intended to use to get him to talk.
But the minute our mouths touched, the entire world dissolved, leaving just him and me in a state where neither of us could resist the attraction.
I felt it in him, too, so I can find some solace in the fact that it wasn’t just me that lost control. And if it hadn’t been for the game I’d already arranged prior to that moment, I’m not sure I can say it wouldn’t have gone further than that kiss.
There’s no denying I wanted him, but then I always have. It’s too bad our history is the reason we can never happen.
It’s been that way since the beginning, and I vividly remember a boy with wavy hair and bruised eyes, his lip swollen where it pulled into a scowl, and the hateful words he’d said to me when he shoved me to the ground.
I also remember Gabriel’s father laughing the entire incident off, even while my father marched over to pick me up from where I’d fallen to brush the dirt from my knees.
Still watching the little boy on the beach, I want to cheer when he finally lifts that kite into the air, the absolute joy in his expression helping warm the cold chill of memory in me.
Wishing I could see that same blaze of happiness coloring Gabriel’s face, I think about how stunning it would be.
I would continue watching the boy if my phone didn’t ring from inside my suite, dragging me away from the balcony and across the room to a table where I’d dropped my purse when I first walked in.
One glance at the screen and I hit the button to answer when I see Emily is calling.
“How’s the fugitive life going?” she asks, a touch of humor in her words because she knows exactly why I’m running.
“It’s great. I was just standing outside enjoying the beach, and tonight I’ll be partying it up at a club.”
“Must be fucking nice,” she grumbles. “Do me a favor and post a video for me to see. I want to live vicariously through you for a while.”
“I’ve already posted several,” I remind her. “Plus, what do you have to bitch about? You’re living it up with two insanely gorgeous men you get to play with at the same time. If anybody needs to post a video, it’s you.”
Dropping down onto the white couch in the center of the room, I lean back and kick up my feet.
“Actually, that’s more complicated than I like it to be. Damon got arrested a few weeks ago.”
“For what?”
“Fighting,” she groans.
I’m not surprised by that. Both Damon and Ezra are known for it.
“Will he ever grow up? Let me guess: he and Ezra decided to take on an entire football team this time, right? Oh, and I’m sure Shane had something to do with it. That asshole is always causing problems.”
Shane, for as jaw-droppingly gorgeous as he is, has always been trouble. Even more so than the rest of the guys. If chaos erupts, you can bet your ass he started it.
“Ezra wasn’t there,” she answers, her voice soft. “He’s angry about it, actually, but won’t tell me why. And yes, Shane was there. He was arrested, too.”
Now that does surprise me.
“I’m shocked Shane got caught for
once.”
She laughs. “Me too.”
The doorbell rings on her end of the line, another groan escaping her lips.
“That must be Ezra, which means I need to go. Have fun tonight, and be sure to send me footage.”
We hang up, and I spend another hour getting ready to go out. I should be excited to be free for a while, to dance and drink and burn off the anxiety that is a constant companion these days.
Unfortunately, I already know the night will just be another disappointment.
Oh, sure, I’ll post videos and other proof of the amazing life I’m living, but if anybody were to peek beneath the surface of the two faces I show the world, they would find that the truth is I’m dying a slow, agonizing death, and that I’ve never been the girl everybody assumes I am.
Ivy
“Room service.”
A deep voice drags me kicking and screaming from the blessed oblivion of sleep, a knock at my bedroom door kickstarting my mind into a storm of confusion.
I know damn well I haven’t ordered room service at whatever ungodly early hour of the morning it is. And even if I did, they wouldn’t walk into my suite to deliver it.
Half in a fog as I force myself to consciousness, I roll my body beneath the warmth of my blankets and blink open my eyes.
For the love of everything holy, please fucking tell me I’m dreaming...
Panic sets in instantly, my heart rate climbing from a slow, safe beat to that of a jackhammer attempting to break free of my ribs.
I blink again and shake the hair from my face as I push up onto an elbow. The prayers I’m silently tossing up are left unanswered when the illusion of a nightmare doesn’t fade.
Nooooooooooo...
This is not fucking happening.
“Gabriel?”
He grins, that damn smile his biggest lie. You have to look in his eyes to see the truth, have to peer into the beauty of emerald green to witness the pain and anger that lives beneath.
Maybe I’m the only person who can see it. I highly doubt he’s made the mistake of revealing who he really is to anybody else.
“Good morning, love. Are you happy to see me?”
Yes and no, which is the screwed-up part. Does my body react every time he’s nearby? Hell yes it does. Does my stupid heart pound when I catch sight of him? Also a yes.
But am I also terrified because I know the hell this man is about to rain down?
You bet your ass I am.
I won’t show him that, though. He’s like a wild animal on the hunt, a rabid dog that’s broken his leash and is stalking forward.
Showing him the first sign of fear will only quicken his attack, which is why I need to remain calm to buy myself time.
This can be handled. Just like all the other times I’ve dodged him and run like hell. As soon as I can get in touch with Scott, he’ll arrive in his chariot and whisk me off to safety.
It takes effort to shrug my fear off like Gabriel’s presence is no big deal, and I have to swallow several times to dislodge the knot of terror in my throat to answer him. Somehow, I manage it.
“How did you find me?”
Another grin, the line of it edged with the promise of all the horrible things he wants to do to me. I deserve some of those things. There’s no question about that. But he started this entire mess and should just let it go.
“The cleaning staff at your house hate you as much as I do,” he croons with a silky soft voice that sends shivers down my spine.
Damn it. The only reason I let anybody at my house know where I am is so they can forward me any packages that arrive unexpectedly. Somebody is about to be fired for this. I’m just not sure which one blabbed.
Then again, maybe that’s a bit harsh. They can’t be blamed for believing anything Gabriel tells them.
I push up into a sitting position and tug the sheet to my chest when Gabriel’s gaze drops to my nightgown. I wonder if it was the sudden movement on my part that forces him away from the wall, his steps heavy as he stalks toward me to kneel on the bed.
He grips my chin, and I can feel the tension in his hand, the struggle for control. I’m going to venture to guess Gabriel is seriously pissed about what I’ve done.
I’m not sure why, though. Really, given everything else we’ve done to each other, stripping him down and dumping him wasn’t all that bad. He was very pretty to look at, and I didn’t mind the view. Gabriel has nothing to be embarrassed about in that department.
Hell, if I were him, I’d walk around naked all the time just to show off my superiority to every other man on the planet.
His eyes pin me, a whole storm of hatred behind them.
“Did you really think you could escape?”
I narrow my eyes on his face. Fuck him if he thinks he can intimidate me. There are two players to every game, and I flat out refuse to be dragged into one with his rules only.
Schooling my expression, I speak with the sweetest voice possible. “Why are you here? Didn’t you learn your lesson last time?”
His grin widens, and I bite the inside of my cheek to keep from reacting.
It’s insane, this spark between us. But maybe that’s what hate does. It’s on such a fine line with love that your brain is tripped up and you experience the same desire.
“Actually,” he says, his voice a hiss of warning, “the way I see it, we’ve just gotten started.”
I smile at that. But really, I’m terrified. The years have done nothing to soften him. If anything, his edges are sharper, that cutting stare slicing me apart inside. How nobody else understands this side of him is beyond me.
Everybody believes Gabriel is laid back and sweet. They gravitate to him and whisper all their secrets. They have no idea who he really is beneath all his pretty wrappings, that silver tongue of his disguising the beast.
But I know.
And I’ll never let myself forget.
Gabriel is pure evil when he wants to be, his deceptive halo propped up by his pointy horns.
“You need to leave before I call security.”
He lowers his face and brushes my lips with his, that stupid spark between us bursting into a blaze of fire. I try to extinguish it with all the memories of the way he’s hurt me, but it won’t go out. It just gets hotter.
“You would never do something so common and boring.”
He’s right about that, and I roll my eyes.
“I hope you know I think you’re a bastard. This won’t happen. I’ll leave you behind just like I’ve always done.”
His green eyes sparkle, a flash of challenge behind them.
“Oh, sweetheart, I would expect nothing less of you.”
A tremor runs through my body because together with the hatred that is so clear in his eyes, there’s want. This man could devour me whole and I’m not sure I’d stop him.
“Then why are you here?”
He kisses me without answering, that talented tongue of his slipping into my mouth with the very real promise of the way he’ll eventually destroy me. I’m helpless to fight him off, my mind screaming for me to stop while my body begs for his touch.
This isn’t the first time we’ve kissed. Not the second either. And every time I’ve allowed him this intimacy, I lived to regret it.
Still, it weakens me so much that my thoughts short-circuit, and I melt where I sit, a tiny sound of complaint escaping me when he drags his mouth to my ear.
“I hate to break this to you, Ivy, but payback is a bitch.”
Smiling at that, I turn my head just enough that the corners of our mouths touch.
“I hate to break this to you, Gabriel, but so am I.”
He chuckles at that, his thumb softly brushing the line of my jaw.
“If anybody knows the truth in that, it’s me. I dare you to bring your worst, beautiful. It’ll only make what I’m doing to you more enjoyable.”
He says it like he’s already won, and I pull my face away from him to scoot off the bed.
Unfortunately, that means I’m standing on the other side of the mattress from him in only the thin pink nightgown I wore to bed, his gaze dragging down my body with open appreciation.
“You need to leave. I have plans for today and they don’t include playing with you. I got over this shit in high school. It’s boring.”
“Is it?”
A smile curls his lips as he adjusts his position on the bed to lean against the headboard and stretch out his longs legs.
He’s casual today, dressed in a pair of jeans and a black t-shirt. It’s a good look on him, the cotton doing nothing to hide the strength of his body.
I might as well be naked for the way he stares at me.
“Get out,” I remind him. “I need to get dressed.”
He crosses one ankle over the other and settles against the pillows, his biceps bunching when he lifts his arms to place his hands behind his head.
“Actually, I think we have a score to settle on that front. I seem to remember you stripping me down to nothing and getting a good view. It’s only fair you return the favor.”
Cocking a hip, I laugh. “It wasn’t that great a view. Don’t flatter yourself.”
Yes, it was, actually.
Insane, really.
This man’s body should be immortalized in sculpture.
He cocks a brow in challenge. “Are you shy, Ivy? That’s so unlike you. I’m disappointed.”
“Maybe I’m just trying to save you the frustration of seeing everything you’re not allowed to touch.”
He grins at that, and his eyes flicker with evil.
“I’m not leaving. You’ll want me here in the next hour or so. I can promise you that.”
Laughing, I shake my head. “Sure. Whatever you say. Stay put if you want. It’s no skin off my back.”
I try to hide the fact I’m walking on shaky legs. Hoping I’m not failing, I cross the room to a bureau set near the bathroom and pull out a small summer dress and clean panties.
My back is to Gabriel when I pull my nightgown off, a choked sound from the bed drawing my notice.