by Snow, Jenika
And then she was gone.
I didn’t know for sure what had happened, but I knew enough about how her father was to know if we didn’t stop seeing each other on our own… he’d do it for us.
That or she made a deal with him for my life.
I was still breathing, so that was the only explanation. She left to keep me alive.
She slipped away in the night like a damn thief with my heart. It was ironic really, me in the profession I was, Nadja stealing my heart and leaving me no choice but to fucking grieve over it.
And I had been grieving. For so fucking long. Because I knew I’d never have a chance of finding her. If her father hid her away, there was no amount of any resources I could come up with that would bring me closer to her.
I held a torch for that girl for the last five years, ached for her, obsessed over her... loved her even though I should have moved on.
But life was a cruel bitch. I knew that at a young age, and still even as an adult. You couldn’t get happy without being hurt.
I was glad my brothers found what made them whole. I’d never have that, not with anyone, because no one would compare to her.
I closed my eyes and rested my head back on the couch, letting the alcohol flow through my veins, hoping like hell it numbed me. But it didn’t. Nothing helped. I couldn’t push the pain back; I couldn’t ignore the loneliness. I was stuck in my own personal hell.
Fucking bullshit purgatory.
But at least I had Wilder there. And now that was gone too.
I pictured Nadja, the fall of her long black hair, her porcelain skin. I remembered her lips had been so pink, the shade of bubblegum. They’d tasted just as fucking sweet too. They’d always get swollen when I kissed her. And then there were her eyes, so green they were like cut emeralds. I swore I could look into them and see my fucking future. And it always led me to her.
And when she told me she didn’t want anyone else in her life, that I was the only man she would ever love, I didn’t hold back my possessive, obsessive side.
Fuck, I was getting hard as I thought about that last night I’d been with her, the first and only time I’d been inside of her, claimed her. Then again, getting aroused wasn’t surprise where she was concerned. I just had to picture Nadja’s face and I was sporting a damn lead pipe between my thighs.
God, I missed her. I wanted her back. But it was clear I wasn’t destined to be happy.
I opened my eyes and stared at the ceiling. I could jerk one off right now thinking about her, imagining how tight and wet she’d been for me all those years ago. It would feel good, really fucking good to come with the image of her in my mind, but after it was all said and done, that ache in my chest would just intensify. It always did. So I punished myself, didn’t touch my dick, didn’t get off. I wanted to. I wanted to really fucking badly. But denying myself made me feel stronger.
I’d been denying myself the pleasure of having a woman for five years. She’d been the last woman I’d been intimate with, because no one else compared to Nadja. No female ever would.
Maybe one day our paths would cross once more. Or maybe I needed to get off my ass and try to find her again, search high and low until she was mine. Damn the consequences.
It wasn’t like I had anything else worthy in my life. It wasn’t like she didn’t consume my thoughts every fucking second of every fucking day.
She was my life. She always had been and she always would be, even if I never saw her again.
I thought I reached a dead end all those years ago, and knew it was my reality when her father had told me I’d never see her again and if I didn’t let her go I’d be six-feet under the ground. That despair had thrown me into a darkness I didn’t think I’d climb back out of.
Because I hadn’t wanted to climb out of it.
And even if I knew trying to find her was. Alost cause, it wasn’t like I had anything better to do right now, wasn’t like I didn’t obsess about her every damn second of every damn day.
Being alone had that effect.
Falling in love had that effect.
I’d find Nadja, no matter how long it took, no matter who I had to tear down to make that a reality.
I’d probably die in the process by her father’s hands, but I didn’t care. If I could just see her once more it would be all worth it.
She’d be mine, because life wasn’t worth shit without her in it.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Wilder
I tracked Zoey’s movements as she stepped through the front door. I had a set of blueprints in front of me, my forearms on the wooden kitchen table, but my focus was on her. Always. I was supposed to be focusing on the next job we were planning on pulling, but when Zoey was around, there was no chance of thinking about anything but her.
She stepped into the kitchen with a bag of groceries in one hand, a smile on her face as she saw me, and everything in my body tightened painfully.
“Hey, you,” she said in a soft, sweet voice, the only one that set my blood on fire.
It was that voice that always went straight to my cock. The fucker gave a mighty jerk behind the fly of my jeans. I didn’t say anything as she walked farther into the kitchen, her small smile growing as she no doubt saw the look on my face. I was feeling especially predatory in that moment.
“I missed you, baby.”
She chuckled and walked past me, and I continued to follow her with my gaze, my focus zeroing on her ass. I bit my lip and groaned. God, her ass was like a ripe peach.
“I think you missed other parts of me more,” she teased, and I lifted my gaze to her face to see she’d caught me checking her out… again.
I sat there and watched as she finished putting the things away, and when she turned and was close enough to me, I reached out and grabbed her, pulled her onto my lap, and nuzzled my mouth against her ear. “You smell so fucking good,” I groaned.
I pulled back and looked down at her shirt, could see that I was affecting her. Her nipples beaded, and she straightened, her arousal clear. Good, ‘cause I was already there. I shifted her quickly, so fast she had to wrap her arms around my shoulders to steady herself. With her chest to mine, her legs spread on either side of mine, I slid a hand up the center of her back and cupped her nape, showing her my ownership of her. And I knew she got off on that, as did I.
I growled, “I can’t get enough of you. I never will.” I went back to nuzzling the side of her throat, taking her scent into my lungs, running my tongue over her skin, and memorizing her flavor.
Since moving out of the main house and getting our own place, things had been… domestic in a way I never experienced. And I grew addicted to having this always, for having more. Having Zoey in the same bed with me every night and waking up to her pressed against me every morning was a euphoria that could never be matched. I might not have been a good man in every sense of the word, but she made me want to be better.
She was my queen.
My cock was so fucking hard, digging between her thighs. I wanted to be inside her, to feel how hot and tight she was. I knew she’d be wet. I knew she was soaked.
“Fuck, I missed you.”
She laughed softly and ground herself against me, causing a groan from me. “I just went to the store.”
“Anytime you’re not with me is too long, baby.”
I couldn’t contain myself anymore. I slanted my mouth on hers, taking her lips with my tongue and teeth, gently nibbling on her flesh, pulling her flavor into my body until I was so desperate for more I knew I had to calm down or I’d be too rough. I moved my tongue along the seam of her lips until she opened on a moan. Our tongues pressed against each other, dueling for supremacy until she finally submitted to me. I stood, holding her in my arms, her legs wrapped around my waist to keep her stable. I walked us over to the counter, set her sweet ass on the granite, and she spread her legs wider so I could move between them.
“This is what I’ve been thinking about when I’m not with yo
u,” I grunted. “When I close my eyes, I swear I can smell you, that sweet scent that lingers on your skin that has me so damn hard my cock hurts,” I murmured against her neck, my tongue and lips teasing her flesh until she tried to get as close to me as possible. That’s what I wanted. “My cock gets so hard for you when I think about how perfect you are, that you’re mine.” I emphasized my point by grinding my rock-hard shaft against her belly, my low groan making her gasp. I knew she liked this shit as much as I did.
As I licked at her throat, I slipped my hand between our bodies as I started to unbutton and unzip her shorts. I needed access to that sweet heat she had only for me. “Lift up for me, Zoey,” I growled. She did as I asked, and I speared my hand beneath the denim, pulled them down, and then had my fingers on her panties, tearing that thin piece of cotton away from her in my frantic need of her pussy.
When I had those items gone, I reached down and slid my fingers down her slit, spreading her lips and feeling how wet and silky she was. Zoey let her head fall back as my other hand snaked behind her and under her ass, gripping a full cheek. I clenched and unclenched the globe until she was wantonly moaning and trying to thrust her hips at me. My dick jerked against the zipper of my jeans. I used my finger to tease the opening of her pussy, dipping in partly before pulling the digit out and sliding it up and running small circles around her clit.
She closed her eyes, her breathing broken. I made her breathless. Her breasts pressed against her tank, her nipples hard. My mouth watered. I latched my mouth onto a globe right through the shirt, sucking at the tight peak, knowing her shirt and bra would be soaked by the time I was done. After a few seconds, I pulled back and looked down at what I’d done. Fuck, the white tank was soaked clean through from my mouth, as was the thin white bra she wore. And I knew the fucker was thin and white because I saw the outline and pinkness of her areola.
I went back to work on her cleft, spreading her moisture around until she was so slick her juices were dripping down my fingers. I couldn’t contain my need for her anymore. I dropped to my knees, looking up at her as I took my thumb and forefinger and spread the little hood away from her clit. She watched me intently, and when I looked at the small bud swollen from my ministrations, my mouth watered even more.
While still watching her, I ran my tongue along her clit, sucking the engorged pearl between my lips until she was shaking, pressing that pussy against my mouth as she needed me to give her more. I slowly moved my head back, my tongue still touching her clit as I stared up at her. It was clear that was all she needed, that visual stimulus, the low hum of my desire that I knew spread right through the bundle of nerves. I watched her come for me.
I felt pre-cum start to dampen my jeans as she thrust her breasts out, her pussy grinding into my touch. She wanted my dick, and I’d give it to her.
“Watch me, Zoey baby.”
She opened her eyes and looked down at me, her expression glossed over with her pleasure. I looked back between her thighs and spread her pussy lips wide with a thumb on each side, her clit still swollen. I leaned in and ran my tongue up and down her cleft, dipping it into her clenching pussy hole, and then moving back up to suck the hard little bud into my mouth.
I knew the warmth and wetness, the friction and motions, were going to have her coming for me again. She was so damn receptive to my touches. And as her body tightened as she came, I lapped up her juices that were slipping out of her, humming my approval as I savored this moment… savored her flavor.
I stood, had her off the counter, turned around, and placed my hand on the center of her back, pushing her forward. Her ass was popped out real nice, and I used my booted foot to kick her legs open even more. I shoved her shirt up, yanked her bra down, and she hissed as her breasts pressed to the no doubt frigid granite counter.
“You like that,” I murmured, and she hummed her approval.
“Yeah, you do,” I grunted and leaned back to take in the sight of her perfect peach ass. Fuck, I was hard. I pushed my hips forward, ground my dick against her softness, and clenched my teeth. “I can’t wait anymore.” I yanked my zipper down, undid the button of my jeans, and grabbed my cock, pulling it through the fly.
She lifted her ass for me, and I growled. Fuck.
And when I ran the tip of my huge cock up and down the crease of her ass, she moaned for me and rose on her toes, trying to get me closer to the soaked core of her body that I knew ached for me. I smacked her ass with my cock, my balls drawing up with my impending orgasm.
“I’m going to fuck you so good, Zoey. So. Good. I’m going to fill you up until you can’t stretch anymore, until you’re sore and walking bowlegged tomorrow morning.” My mouth was right by her ear, and I knew my filthy words turned her on. They fucking turned me on.
I had my fingers between her thighs, used the digits to spread her moisture around, and slid them up until I was pressing those slicked fingers against her asshole. She gasped, looked over her shoulder at me, and I felt my body tighten even more at her glazed-over expression.
She wanted this, and I’d be the only man to ever give this to her.
Using my other hand, I placed the tip of my erection at the entrance of her pussy, her eyes locked on mine, the air between us thick and hot. I kept my fingers on her tight little asshole as I pushed more of my dick into her tight, hot pussy, my girth and length no doubt stretching her to the point where pleasure mixed with pain. I knew it sure as hell was like that for me. Fuck, it felt so good. I let my finger tease her ass, the digit in that forbidden little hole, and my shaft in her cunt, driving my pleasure even higher.
I had my free hand on her waist, my fingers digging into her side, holding her tightly, my blunt nails digging into her flesh. Sweat started to trickle down my hairline as my blood pressure rose, as my impending orgasm went even higher.
And then I said fuck it, shoved all my inches into her, seating my cock to the hilt inside her, and groaning out at the pleasure.
I pressed the fingers into her tight hole slightly before withdrawing almost all the way out and teasing the rim until I felt my cock give a might jerk in her pussy. I did this over and over again, her pussy walls contracting around my cock, her moans and begging for more spurring me on. I started to move in and out of her, her pussy juices making my motions slick so that the sound of wet skin slapping together was loud in the kitchen.
I was losing control. I picked up speed, slammed my hips back and forth, rocking them against her, grinding my pelvis when my balls were flush with her body, and forcing myself not to come too soon. Soon, I was pounding into Zoey, my balls slapping her clit with every instroke, my head so fuzzy I couldn’t even think straight for how good it felt.
I let go of her waist, pulled my fingers from her ass, and gripped her waist tightly so I could really get some damn leverage and fuck her senseless. I didn’t want her walking comfortably tomorrow.
Her back arched, and she turned her head to look at me, her eyes wide, her mouth parted.
“I’m so close, Zoey. I’m so. Fucking. Close.” I didn’t want it to end, but then again, I wanted to explode and feel that rush of ecstasy only my woman could give me.
And then she came for me again.
“Oh, God,” she whispered. “I’m coming, Wilder.”
Yeah, she was. Her pussy contracted around my cock and drew deep groans from me. She gasped and cried out as she rode out the pleasure I gave her, the pleasure we created. And fuck, Zoey kept shifting slightly, pushing her pussy down my length even more, even harder, trying to get as much of my cock into her as possible.
In the next second, I turned her around, my hands on her ass as I lifted her off the counter and into my arms, my dick still buried in her. I had her back flat on the table, her legs falling open so I could move closer to her. I kept my palms on her inner thighs, forcing her to give me access as I thrust into her still clenching cunt.
Once.
Twice.
Fuck, three times I thrust into her. I could f
eel my balls drawing up, feel that tightening at the base of my spine with my impending orgasm.
And when I couldn’t hold onto it anymore, couldn’t control myself, I pulled out of her quickly, grabbed my cock that was slick with her pussy juiciness, and started pumping my palm over the length as I stared at where I was just buried.
“Touch that pussy for me,” I managed to grit out, and when she slid her fingers between her thighs and stroked her clit, I got off.
My body was tense, the muscle and sinew that lay just beneath my skin straining as I let my self-control loose. I groaned loudly, never taking my eyes from her as I came for my woman, because of her.
Fuck.
Jet after jet of milky white cum shot out the tip of my dick, landing on her exposed pussy. I loved filling her up, but sometimes I liked the forbidden sight of me covering her pale skin with my seed.
I grunted, groaned, let the ropes bathe her, mark her. And she begged for me, needed so much more, and I’d give her all of it. I’d give her my life if that’s what she needed.
When my orgasm was done, I gasped out. Every time I came because of Zoey was like that first time. It was powerful and intense, stealing my breath and my sanity. I leaned in and kissed her deeply, our sweat-slicked chests rubbing together, her nipples beading up more from the friction and pressing against my pecs.
“I love you,” I whispered against her lips.
“I love you too.”
Things might not always be perfect, and I knew life scared Zoey in general, with the possibilities, the fear of everything getting taken away. But I showed her day in and day out that I was here for the long haul. We were a team, a unit, and she was my priority. I’d do anything to make sure she was always happy.
I pulled her in for an embrace, just holding her, just letting myself feel every part of her. She was perfect. I wanted it all with her.
Marriage.
A family.
A cat and dog that ran around in the backyard with the white picket fence.