Her teeth grind, her face going beet red with her anger as she tries to decide what to do. I can see that she wants to fight, but surely she must know it’s only going to get worse for her if she does. The best thing she can do right now is exactly as I say.
“Come on, sweet cheeks. I already know what it tastes like. Might as well give me the whole experience.”
Still, she stands there like a fucking deer in headlights. Dropping my gaze, I go back to her diary.
“I only thought silly little girls wrote diaries. I’m starting to wonder if I got you all wrong, trailer trash.”
“Ethan, please.”
“Please what? Please touch you again? Please finish you off from last night? I hope you took my warning seriously and didn’t immediately finish yourself off after I left,” I say, having a flashback to the text I sent her. The blush that’s already staining her cheeks travels down to her chest. “Maybe I should get you to do it now. Give me a nice little show to start my day off with.”
“Please, just leave.” Her voice cracks, and it makes me realize just how hard she’s going to be to break.
“Where was I? Dear Diary,” I mock. “He took me for ice cream, not the cheap kind Mom insists on, but the kind that comes in every flavor imaginable. I had toffee, he had chocolate. I regretted my decision when I saw the chocolate chips in his, but he let me try some. I bet you had a good old lick, didn’t you, you dirty bitch.”
All the color’s drained from her face when I glance up from her stupid diary.
“If it’ll make you leave, fine.” She shoves her thumbs into the sides of her panties and shimmies out of them until they’re around her ankles. She holds her hands out to the sides, trying like hell to appear confident while completely bared to me.
I take her in, every single curve, hair, and dimple. I can’t deny that, although short as fuck, she’s got all the right things in all the right places.
Placing her diary back on the stack beside me, I push myself to the end of her bed. My eyes stay locked on her body. On her full tits and rosebud nipples that are just begging for attention. I run my eyes down her smooth stomach as I focus on the small strip of hair that leads to what I know is a hot and tight little pussy.
Her body trembles before me, but I’m not sure if it’s with the chill or terror.
I stand, dropping my head so I can stare down at her. A smirk pulls at one side of my lips. “Until next time, sweet cheeks.”
I leave her standing stock still, but I don’t close her door behind me. The thing irritates me. Not knowing what she’s doing behind it drives me insane.
The second I’m in my room, I pull on a clean shirt and hoodie, and drop my phone and wallet into my pocket before turning on my heels and marching straight out of the house. There’s no way I can stay here knowing exactly what’s right across the hall.
I could call an Uber, but I decide to walk the distance back to Zayn’s to pick up my car. The time alone with only my thoughts might help clear my head. Now I’m away from her, my temples continue to pound with last night’s alcohol, but still, I can’t get her out of my head. The darkness of her eyes as she stared into mine, silently begging me not to hurt her. I must be doing a better job of scaring her than I thought if she’s worried about me physically hurting her. I’d never hit a woman, and even she falls under that bracket. I may want to hurt her in other ways, but I’ll never raise a hand to her.
I don’t feel that much better by the time I walk up Zayn’s drive. The only difference is that my cock’s no longer trying to punch its way through my sweats. I don’t bother going inside, knowing that it’ll only invite questions about where I fucked off to last night when I had Shelly offering herself to me, quite literally. I have no intention of talking to any of those motherfuckers about what my issue is right now.
Jake, Mason, and their girls know the truth. Even telling them was hard enough. I’m happy to let everyone else think whatever the fuck they want as to my current state of mind and almost permanent pissed-off attitude.
Sliding into my car, I rest my head back and shut my eyes. My life is spinning out of control right now and I have no idea how I’m supposed to rein it back in. I need to stay away from her, that much is obvious, but I’m not sure I can. She’s like that one thing in your house as a kid that you’re warned never to touch, but no matter how wrong you know it is, you just can’t resist.
Pulling my cell from my pocket, I find Jake and shoot him a message.
Ethan: Gym?
The little dots start bouncing, and in about thirty seconds I stare down at the response I was expecting.
Thorn: Can’t. Doing house shit with Brit.
“Fuck,” I bark, my hands slamming down on my steering wheel. It’s always been the three of us. Jake, Mason, and me. But since things got serious with Amalie and Camila, it seems our party of three has almost immediately reduced to a lonely party of one. And exactly when I need them most.
Some movement from inside Zayn’s catches my eye. I could go in there and invite one of whoever’s left to join me, but it’s not the same. Yes, they’re my family, but they’re not my brothers, not like Jake and Mason. I open up another conversation that I’ve been waiting for a reply on. When I look down at my last message I sent her, it shows as read. I blow out a breath, wondering if she’s okay and getting the time out that she needs.
Deciding to send her another message, seeing as I could do with someone to talk to as much as I’m sure she could, I start typing.
Ethan: I’m here if you need to talk x
I stare at it, but it doesn’t even show as delivered.
“Fuck it.” I pocket my cell, put my car in reverse, and drive toward the gym I try to hit up a couple of times a week. I’ve got a pretty kitted out gym at home, but the wider range of equipment, along with the steam room and sauna drag me here. It’s exactly what I need as I try to work through my issues. It also means I’m away from her, away from the temptation of doing something stupid again.
I work myself in the gym until I can’t feel my limbs, then I drag my aching body to the sauna to sweat out the alcohol that’s probably still in my system from the previous weeks’ blow outs. Tonight should be fucking epic, and I need to be ready for it. I also need to figure out a way to keep her away. The last thing I need is her attempting to befriend mine, not that I think for a minute she’d fit in with them. I’m sure the cheer squad will take one look at her and turn the other cheek. She doesn’t exactly scream joy and happiness, more dark, edgy, and will likely shank you in your sleep if you so much as look at her the wrong way.
I grab some food on my way home and then, despite the fact I only just showered at the gym, I have another and get ready for tonight.
Her door is shut, as usual, and the house is in silence. I have no idea if she’s here or not, but I decide against finding out. I need to focus on tonight, on celebrating our epic win, getting drunk and having fun. The last thing I need is thoughts of her ruining it for me. We worked our asses off for that win and we deserve to let our hair down before the craziness of the playoffs start next week.
I spray myself with my favorite cologne, run some gel through my hair and pull on my lucky shirt. I tell myself that last night’s disaster with Shelly was a one-off and that I’ll be fully on board with any female who so much as looks my way tonight.
I’ve just done a lap of the house to make sure everything is as it should be before the crunch of car tires on the driveway sounds out.
Pulling the door open, I find cars everywhere and kids from school heading toward the house.
Almost all of them stop and greet me with a slap on the back or a slug to the shoulder. Some bring their own supplies, just to be polite, but everyone knows I’ll have more than enough alcohol inside for everyone who arrives. They all walk in, assuming everything is the same. Little do they know that everything under this roof is very different from the last time they were here. Fuck, I’m different, thanks to our two new lodgers. The
anger that’s constantly burning away inside of me turns me into a person I don’t like, but there doesn’t seem to be much I can do about it, especially as she seems to be there no matter which direction I turn.
The house fills up, someone turns the music on, and everyone gets to it. I want to say their merriment is infectious, but it’s not. I force a smile on my face and head to the kitchen for a drink.
Alcohol of every variety fills the counters. One good thing in all this bullshit is that Dad upped the spend on my credit card. I don’t really want his guilt money, but I’d rather have my friends piss it down the toilet to fuck him off than not use it, I guess.
Most of the team are huddled together, some with girls clinging to their sides. The cheer team hasn't arrived yet, so it gives the others who are brave enough a chance.
“Hey, gorgeous,” a girl purrs, coming up to me and running her hands up my chest until they lock around the back of my neck.
“Hey, I don’t think I’ve had the pleasure of meeting you before.” She’s got bright red hair and wide hazel eyes.
“You’re Ethan Savage, right?”
“The one and only, sweetheart.”
A salacious smile curls up at her lips. “I’ve heard all about you and your… talents.” She runs her tongue over her bottom lip, and I eagerly watch its movements before dropping down her body. She’s wearing a small top that shows off both the swell of her tits and her stomach before a scrap of fabric wraps around her hips, barely covering her modesty. Something I can most definitely work with.
“Oh yeah?” I ask, stepping a little closer and wrapping my arm around her waist. Her sweet scent fills my nose. It’s not unpleasant, but it’s not exactly enticing either. She smiles at me, pushing her tits into my chest. “Play your cards right and you might get to find out tonight.”
She leans in, her lips brushing the shell of my ear. “I’ll let you do whatever you like,” she all but moans.
My cock stirs at the thought, but only a little, and I’m pretty sure only because it’s still after what was in touching distance last night.
I used to live for these shameless hussies who do anything on demand just because we’re the kings of Rosewood High, but suddenly, I’m not finding the same appeal as I once did. A little voice in my head tells me I didn’t have a problem until she turned up.
Anger races through me. She’s ruining my fucking life, and she’s not even here right now.
“How about we get a drink and talk more about that? I’d love to know what you can do for me.”
11
Raelynn
The second he walks through my bedroom door, I slam it shut behind him and pull the dresser in front of it to stop him from coming back.
My body is trembling from the memories he dragged up from just reading that small snippet of my diary. Why I thought leaving them on my nightstand was a good idea God only knows.
Racing over, I lift all but the one I’m currently writing in and spin. I don’t exactly have anywhere I can hide them, but at least they’ll be out of immediate sight if—when—he returns. I shove the whole stack into the ottoman at the end of my bed and close the lid, hoping it’ll help to lock down the nightmares that are contained within those pages.
A cold shiver runs through me as a few flash backs hit me. Ethan will never find out about the horrors that are written in there. If he were to find out—no, I’m not even going there.
Picking up my wet, discarded clothes, I throw them into the laundry and head for the shower to wash away not only the chlorine but also the shame of what Ethan just made me do. I try not to dwell on it, but it’s there, tingling at my spine.
I turn the shower up as hot as I can bear and stand under, hoping to wash away everything from both last night and this morning. It doesn’t matter that this is my second shower, plus a dip in the pool since he touched me last night, I can still smell him as if he’s standing right next to me.
All I want to do is keep my head down and do what I need to do here before I can graduate and move on. I’ve got no intention of making his life harder than I’m sure it’s already been, seeing as his dad just left his mom for mine. Both of us have been caught up in the crossfire of their drama, and as far as I’m concerned, neither of us deserves it, but it’s exactly where we’ve found ourselves. Unfortunately for me, I’m the one Ethan seems to be firing all his arrows at.
The sight of all the bottles covering every surface in the kitchen when I eventually emerge from my bedroom has my stomach in knots. The last thing I want is an enforced house party. Seeing as it’s already late afternoon, I decide to go out and stay out as late as possible in the hope of missing most of it. I might be happy with only myself for company, but that doesn’t mean I want to lock myself in the fancy bedroom for the foreseeable future.
I make the same journey I did the other day, only I don’t bother with the bus, thinking that I need to waste as much time as possible if I’m going to avoid the party. I walk along the beach before heading for the promenade and pushing through the door into Aces. If I’m going to be working here then I may as well start getting a feel for the place.
It’s much busier than it was the other day, but I manage to get a seat in the corner at a tiny table for two. I don’t see Bill, but the waitress who comes over to take my order is really sweet, and thinking that she could be my colleague come Monday makes me feel better than I have since stepping foot on that damn airplane. Jesus, was that only days ago?
I eat but seeing as the place is so busy, I feel bad about hanging around when they could be serving a new customer at my table, so I pay and head out. The sun’s starting to set over the ocean when I step out, so I head back down the beach once more.
I find myself a seat on the dry sand, staying away from the dunes I hid between yesterday, and pull my diary from my purse. I tap my pen against the page as I try to gather my thoughts about what’s happened between Ethan and me in the past twenty-four hours. I recall last night, being totally honest with myself about how he made me feel. If someone would have told me that he’d have pinned me like that, and to a point pushed himself on me, I’d have thought I’d have freaked out, managed to somehow squirm out of his hold and hurt him as he deserved. But the reality of the situation was that I was powerless to resist. The fear I felt fused with a heady mix of desire and instead of fighting, I allowed it. My core throbs as I vividly remember how his fingers felt against my sensitive skin, the delicious stretch when he slid them inside me.
Fucking hell, Rae. Get your head out of the gutter.
None of that matters. What matters is that he’s a fucking asshole who doesn’t deserve my thoughts, let alone space in my diary.
Motherfucker.
I turn my thoughts to my new school and my new job. Aces is the one place that I’ve felt at home since being here, and it has a little excitement starting to tingle in my belly that at some point I might even fit in here.
That thought is soon wiped away when I get back to the house. Feeling like I’d exhausted my time aimlessly wandering around the seafront, I regretfully head back. There are cars littering the driveway, I discover kids everywhere, and music booming so loud that I’m sure the neighbors must be on the verge of calling the cops to shut it down.
I walk past two girls, one holding the other’s hair back as she pukes into the flower bed. I turn my nose up at them as I pass, but they don’t notice my attention. I have to shoulder barge a couple who insist on standing in the doorway, sucking each other’s faces off as I attempt to get into my own fucking house.
Who am I kidding, this place is never going to me mine, or feel like home in any way.
The inside is packed with kids drinking, dancing, and getting high. My mouth waters for some alcohol and a joint between my lips. I look around, wondering how to go about getting both of those. Remembering the insane number of bottles littering the kitchen earlier today, I head that way. Ignoring the beer, I head straight for the spirits and pour myself one very ge
nerous shot of vodka and swallow the lot in one.
“Whoa, someone’s ready to party,” someone calls over to me. He takes a step in my direction, but one hard stare from me and he soon changes his mind. There’s something to be said for the permanent scowl that seems to be on my face these days. It takes my usual resting bitch face to a whole new level.
A couple of the girls who are barely dressed on the other side of the kitchen run their eyes over my outfit of choice. I knew before walking in here that I wouldn’t fit in in this world of rich kids. I have no idea if this whole town is full of “Ethans,” but it’s safe to assume it is instead of hoping for the best and being disappointed.
Dragging my eyes from their judgmental ones, I pour myself another giant drink and knock it back. It burns all the way down my throat, although not as bad as the first one did.
Heat from the vodka burns my belly and spurs me on. I think maybe it’s time I introduce myself to Ethan’s nearest and dearest.
I almost do an entire lap of the house before I eventually find him sitting on the couches in the vast family room with his friends and some slut wiggling around on his lap. My fingers twitch at my sides as I watch her run her hands through his thick hair and whisper something in his ear that encourages his hands to run up her thighs until he’s gripping onto her ass that’s pretty much on display for everyone, seeing the fucking ridiculous skirt she’s wearing.
My teeth grind as I watch them, and eventually I manage to drag my eyes to the others around him. I’ve seen enough photographs around this house to know that Ethan’s on the football team, so it’s a pretty easy assumption that the guys he’s spending time with are also on the team.
Bored of watching from the sidelines, I take a step forward in the hope that I piss Ethan off by my mere presence.
As I get closer, one by one their attention lands on me. The dark-haired girl is the first to look my way before she nudges the guy she’s sitting beside, and he brushes his long blond hair from his face to find me. The stunning blonde is next to look up. She’s curled into the side of the guy talking to Ethan despite the whore on his lap.
SAVAGE: A Dark High School Bully Romance (Rosewood High Book 3) Page 8