The Unusual Suspects

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The Unusual Suspects Page 7

by Michael Buckley


  “Well, I’d love to keep this happy event going all night, but as you know, I can’t stand you people,” he said, leading them to the door. As his hand clutched the knob, he turned and looked the girls in their eyes. “Snow is important to me. I would appreciate you keeping a close eye on her.”

  “No problem, Billy,” Daphne replied, wrapping her arms around the mayor and hugging him tightly. “It’s sooooo romantic!”

  Charming sneered, opened the door, and forcefully shoved the family outside.

  “You should really tell her that you love her,” Daphne said, right before the mayor slammed the door in her face.

  Sabrina had been to a lot of schools in the last year and a half, and they all had a few things in common. Every one of them had a couple of grouchy teachers, a bully, a bully’s punching bag, a weird cafeteria lady, a bathroom that everyone was afraid to go into, and a librarian who worshiped something called the Dewey Decimal System. None of those schools, however, had a teacher-killing monster scurrying through its hallways. And they said New York City had everything.

  Granny Relda was convinced that a monster—maybe working with the Scarlet Hand—had killed Mr. Grumpner. Not knowing exactly what the monster looked like or where it might be now was doing a number on Sabrina’s nerves as her grandmother led the girls through the darkened hallways of the school. The long shadows cast by the setting sun looked like dinosaurs and invading aliens. Every little creak sounded like the tread of Bigfoot or a swamp monster. And worse, Grumpner’s bloodless purple face appeared every time Sabrina closed her eyes. All she wanted to do was run back to the car and hide under Elvis’s blanket, but Granny insisted they take another look at the crime scene. For once, the girl wished Mr. Canis was by their side, but the skinny old man had chosen to stay with the car and meditate in the freezing cold. Luckily, Granny had relented to Elvis’s begging and the big dog now trotted down the hall beside them.

  “Mr. Canis looks terrible, and for him, that’s particularly bad,” Sabrina said to the old woman as they crept along.

  “In the past he has been able to tap into the Wolf’s strengths without losing himself,” her grandmother explained, “but this time he made a complete transformation and worse, he tasted human blood. It’s been a very long time since that has happened and the Wolf is not going to be put away without a fight. Don’t worry, children. Mr. Canis will win this battle.”

  “And if he doesn’t?” Sabrina asked.

  “He will. I’m sure he’ll be happy that you are concerned for his well being.”

  I’m more concerned about waking up in his belly, Sabrina thought.

  When they got to Sabrina’s homeroom, the crime scene tape and Grumpner’s body were already gone. The broken window had been replaced and all the cobwebs were cleared away. Even the blood-red hand painted on the chalkboard was gone. Other than some misplaced desks, there was no evidence of the gruesome scene they’d witnessed only hours before. Principal Hamelin had obviously cleaned the place up.

  “Whatever it was didn’t catch him by surprise,” Granny Relda said, pushing a desk back into its row. “The way these desks are scattered it looks like Mr. Grumpner tried to fight back.”

  Sabrina shuddered as she imagined her teacher fighting off his attacker. Whether it was a giant spider or a thousand little ones, the fact was that the man’s death had been a nightmare for him. Even a grouch like Grumpner didn’t deserve to die so horribly.

  “Why are we here now?” Daphne asked, as they walked into the classroom. “We’ll never find anything in the dark.”

  “Some of the best clues are found in the dark,” Granny said. She crossed the room and opened Grumpner’s desk drawers. They were empty except for the bottom one. Inside was a picture of the teacher and a woman. They were on a pontoon boat enjoying an afternoon on the Hudson River. Grumpner and the woman each had a glass of champagne in their hands and were toasting each other.

  “His wife?” Sabrina asked, as Granny showed her the picture. “I can’t imagine that Mr. Cranky found anyone to marry him.”

  “He was probably a very different man at home,” the old woman replied. “You told me once you thought your father was too careful, but the Henry Grimm I know threw caution to the wind. There are many sides to us all.”

  “His wife must be very sad.” Daphne sighed.

  Granny sighed, too. “I suppose she is.”

  “Well, we found a picture,” Sabrina said, eyeing a shadow in the corner that looked like the boogie man. “Can we go now? This place is giving me the willies.”

  “Don’t be scared,” Daphne said. “I’m a police officer, ma’am. I’ll protect you.” She leaned down and struggled with her belt, then walked around the room mimicking Sheriff Hamstead’s bowlegged gait.

  Sabrina laughed so hard she snorted.

  Granny reached into her handbag and pulled out a familiar pair of infrared goggles. “Don’t worry, lieblings, I’m hurrying,” she said as she put the goggles over her eyes and looked around the room, finally focusing on the floor. “Ah-ha! Children, come and take a look.”

  The girls hurried to their grandmother. Daphne took the goggles and looked down at the floor. “That is so punk rock!” she said.

  Eager for a turn, Sabrina snatched the goggles away from her sister and peered through their special lenses. They revealed ghostly white footprints—the last traces of the late Mr. Grumpner.

  Granny Relda reached down and ran her finger across the floor. When she lifted it, there was white powder on it. “The plot thickens,” she said, holding her chalky finger up to Sabrina’s eyes. “Mr. Grumpner’s feet were covered in some kind of dust.”

  A bit of the dust floated up into Sabrina’s nose and she sneezed violently.

  “Gesundheit,” Granny Relda said.

  “They come from out in the hallway,” Sabrina said, opening the door and following the glowing footprints.

  “Notice anything about the steps?” her grandmother asked, following closely behind.

  “They’re very far apart,” the girl said. “Three of my steps are equal to about one of his.”

  “That’s because he was running,” the old woman informed her. Sabrina was impressed. Granny Relda was a natural detective, and Sabrina wondered if she’d ever be as smart. The footprints came from the stairs to the first floor and the girl headed in that direction until suddenly the infrared goggles were snatched off her head.

  “Hey!” she complained, as she turned on her little sister. “If you wanted to wear them, all you had to do was ask!”

  Granny and Daphne said nothing. They were looking at the ceiling with odd expressions. Sabrina followed their gaze and what she saw sent a shock down to her toes. Hanging upside down above them was a fat, frog-faced creature. Its head and feet were amphibious, with slimy, bumpy skin and a puffed, bulbous pouch under its lower lip, but it had the arms, legs, and body of a human being. It was the creature’s long sticky green tongue that had snatched the goggles off Sabrina’s head, and now it dragged them in and out of its mouth as if it were wondering whether they might make a good snack. Eventually it spit them out at Sabrina’s feet, spraying sticky saliva all over the girl’s pants.

  “Uh, no thanks. You can keep them,” Sabrina said, wiping the goop off her jeans.

  The frog monster let out an odd, feminine giggle, and puffed up its huge air sack. Sabrina had seen frogs do just the same thing on TV. It was something they did when they were preparing to eat and she suddenly had the feeling that she was on the menu.

  “Run!” she cried.

  The Grimms and Elvis spun around and ran back down the hallway, but the monster leaped off the ceiling and landed in front of them, blocking their path.

  “I spy with my little eye,” the frog-girl gurgled, “something dead.”

  ranny Relda swung her handbag at the frog-girl and cracked her on her forehead. The monster groaned and fell to the ground. Sabrina had seen what sort of stuff the old woman kept in her purse—everything fro
m spy goggles to rolls of quarters—so she knew it packed quite a wallop. It would take the frog-girl a while to get up—if she got up at all.

  Not wasting any time, the Grimm women spun in the opposite direction and raced down the stairs. Elvis followed close behind, clumsily navigating the steep steps and barking threateningly.

  “If we’re lucky,” Granny Relda said through winded breaths, “that thing will be too afraid of Elvis to come after us.”

  “And if we aren’t?” Sabrina asked as she helped her grandmother down the last of the steps. Unfortunately, the old woman didn’t get a chance to respond. The frog-girl bounced down the steps and onto a nearby wall, sticking like a suction cup.

  Elvis stood his ground, baring his teeth at the monster, daring her to come closer.

  “Your puppy isn’t very nice,” the frog-girl croaked. “But he’ll digest in my belly as quickly as the three of you.”

  Daphne stepped forward and flashed her shiny new deputy’s badge. “You’re under arrest for … for … being gross!” she stammered, but the frog-girl was not impressed. She lunged for the little girl.

  Sabrina grabbed her sister’s hand and dragged her down the hallway toward the exit. The monster followed by leaping back and forth from wall to wall, gaining ground with each jump. By the time the Grimms reached the exit, the frog-girl was right behind them. She shot her thick tongue out and wrapped it around Daphne’s arm, dragging the little girl back into her clutches.

  Elvis leaped viciously at the creature, but it jumped to the ceiling and hung upside down out of his reach.

  “Let her go!” Sabrina shouted as she desperately reached for her sister. The frog-girl let out a sickening giggle and continued to dangle Daphne right above Sabrina’s grasp. The little girl struggled and squirmed and finally reached into her beehive hairdo. She yanked a protractor from her sticky locks and stabbed the frog’s tongue with it. The monster shrieked and Daphne fell, knocking Sabrina to the ground.

  “And you didn’t like my hairdo,” Daphne said to her sister as she quickly helped her to her feet and the two ran to the exit doors with Granny Relda and Elvis close behind.

  “Start the car!” Sabrina shouted as they sprinted across the school lawn. Mr. Canis opened his eyes and, without pausing, climbed off the roof of the car. Within seconds the old jalopy roared to life, grinding metal on metal and shaking violently. The junker’s obnoxious concert had never sounded so good to Sabrina.

  “What happened?” Mr. Canis asked as Elvis, Granny, and the girls clamored into the car, but no one got to answer. Something slammed onto the roof. It was so loud they all jumped, except Mr. Canis, whose only reaction was to look up and raise a questioning eyebrow.

  Just then, a slimy green hand smacked the driver’s side window. Sabrina and Daphne screamed. Granny Relda whooped in astonishment and Elvis growled and bared his teeth. But Mr. Canis just took a deep breath, put the car into drive, and floored the gas. The car’s tires squealed and the jalopy rocketed into the street, skidding across the country road before some quick steering set it on the right course.

  “Oh, I do wish I could drive.” Granny Relda groaned. “I used to love situations like this.”

  “You know very well the police took your license away,” Mr. Canis said, steering from one side of the road to the other in hopes of dislodging their stowaway. Unfortunately, nothing the old man did had any effect on the monster and it continued to beat violently on the roof.

  “I got a couple of speeding tickets.” Granny shrugged.

  “You were arrested fourteen times for reckless endangerment. Several neighborhood groups banned you from driving on their streets. The German government said that if they ever caught you in a car in Berlin again you would be hanged,” the old man corrected.

  “Oh, Mr. Canis,” Granny begged. “No one has to know. Besides, this isn’t getting us anywhere.”

  He shook his head.

  “Please!” she pleaded.

  Mr. Canis slammed his foot on the brake and the car screeched to a halt. The frog-girl tumbled down the hood and bounced along the road for several yards until she stopped. She let out a terrible moan and then lay still.

  “Let’s stay off the major roads,” the old man said, opening his door and getting out.

  Granny squealed with delight and scooted over to the driver’s seat. As they switched places, Sabrina watched the grotesque frog-girl stir, slowly get to her feet, and stare at the car. Even with her bizarre, twisted face, the murderous rage in her eyes was clear.

  “Children,” Mr. Canis said as he turned to face the sisters. “Put on your seat belts.”

  The girls eyed each other nervously and hurried to strap themselves in. Unfortunately, the ancient seat belts that had been installed in the car were torn, so Mr. Canis had used ropes to improvise. Sabrina helped Daphne tie hers into a knot around her waist and then went to work on her own.

  Just as their ropes were secure, the monster leaped into the air and came down violently on the car’s front end. The impact was so great, the car’s back end lifted a full six feet off the ground, then came down violently. The monster leaned forward to get a better look through the windshield and then licked her wide lips.

  “Going somewhere?” She laughed.

  Elvis whined and crawled under his blanket as Granny floored the accelerator and the car lunged forward. The monster tumbled over the hood, up the windshield, over the roof, onto the trunk, and fell off the back end of the car.

  “She’s gone!” Sabrina cried, just before the freak hopped back onto the trunk. It laughed at them through the rear window.

  “She’s back,” Daphne cried, diving under the blanket with Elvis.

  Granny made a sharp left onto an old dirt road and pressed hard on the gas pedal. The ancient car screamed in protest, but held up its end with a burst of speed so powerful Sabrina felt the g-force pushing her body into the seat springs. Despite the incredible speed, the frog-girl held on with little effort and pounded angrily on the rear window. The massive blows caused a thick crack in the glass.

  “Turning right!” Granny shouted from the driver’s seat, just before she made the turn. Elvis tumbled over the girls as the car banked to the right, but the maneuver didn’t seem to shake the monster.

  “Turning left!” Granny shouted and Elvis tumbled to the other side of the car, landing heavily on Sabrina’s belly and knocking the wind out of her.

  The frog-girl smacked the window again, and this time it exploded, sending chunks of glass into the backseat. Several large portions of the window stayed attached, but the monster pulled them off effortlessly and tossed them into the road.

  Sabrina pushed Elvis off of her and fought to fill her empty, burning lungs. As she struggled, the frog-girl reached into the backseat with her big sticky hands, unfastened Daphne’s rope belt, and snatched the little girl right out of her seat. Still choking and gasping for air, Sabrina grabbed desperately at Daphne’s ankle and tried to pull her back inside the car, but the frog-girl’s grip was too strong.

  “She’s got Daphne,” she gasped, but Mr. Canis had already sprung into action. He rolled down his window and pulled his upper body out of the car.

  “There’s no need to hurry, old man,” the frog-girl screamed over the wind. “You’ll die soon enough.”

  A ferocious roar echoed back at the monster and Sabrina could see her eyes grow wide with surprise.

  “You’re one of us?” the frog-girl cried. “And you fight for the life of a filthy Grimm! You’re the traitor. I should have known you by your stink.”

  “Put the child back into the car,” Sabrina heard Mr. Canis demand, even over the roaring engine.

  “The traitor gets no favors!” The frog-girl laughed. She reached into the backseat with her free arm and grasped for Sabrina. Sabrina squirmed and slapped at the disgusting hand, but it still managed to snatch her sweater and drag her out the window as well.

  “I’m not going to tell you again, beast,” Mr. Canis threa
tened.

  “I’ve heard stories about you, traitor,” the monster croaked. “The Big Bad Wolf—trying to make amends for all the bad things he has done. You’ll fail, old-timer! Your heart isn’t in it! But no matter, I’ll give you the dignity of knowing you died trying!”

  Mr. Canis was too far away to do anything. Sabrina knew if she and her sister were going to survive, they were going to have to save themselves.

  “Daphne, do you remember Mr. Oberlin?” Sabrina shouted, hoping her sister had not forgotten this particular foster father.

  “From the Bronx?” the little girl asked.

  Sabrina nodded.

  The disgusted look flashing across her sister’s face told Sabrina that her plan wasn’t the little girl’s favorite. Regardless, Daphne nodded and together the sisters leaned down and bit the frog-girl hard.

  The monster shrieked in agony and let go of Daphne. Sabrina grabbed her sister and together they scrambled back into the car. The frog-girl huddled on the trunk, clutching her wounds.

  “What happened?” Granny Relda said, still pushing hard on the gas.

  “It appears I am not the only one in our home with fangs,” Mr. Canis said, climbing back into the car.

  “You’ve got to get rid of this thing,” Sabrina shouted as she wiped the horrible taste out of her mouth with her shirtsleeve. A bit of the goo was on her chin and her shirt stuck to it like it was a powerful glue. Daphne was also busy rubbing the monster’s taste off her tongue onto her sleeve. Again, the frog-girl reached in through the window, but Elvis snapped at her hand and the monster pulled it back.

  “Don’t worry, lieblings,” Granny said as she made a rough turn onto a gravel road. “I have a plan.”

  Sabrina looked through the windshield and saw a sign blocking the road ahead. It read DANGER! BRIDGE UNSAFE! GO NO FARTHER! Worse was what was beyond it. In the distance was an old, rundown country bridge covering a rocky stream. One look at it told Sabrina that a mouse wouldn’t be able to cross the bridge safely, let alone Granny Relda’s ancient two-ton monstrosity on wheels.

 

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