by Nikki Marsh
"That's only because she doesn't talk about her old life. It hurts her too much."
"That's right. She don't talk 'bout it. It do hurt her to talk 'bout it. But that don't change nothin'. When she hurt her head in the storm, that let loose some real bad memories that won't go away. She might be hurtin' in the head, that's true, but that's not the sickness that will kill her. It's the sickness in her soul that will do that."
"You could never think that if you knew Maman as well as you think you do." My voice cracked when I asked her what she meant. "Your Maman will tell you when the time is right."
I wondered why Maman sent me to Neni. I wondered if Maman suspected Neni thought she had a sick soul. I wondered what would give Neni such a wrong idea about Maman. I wanted to disappear.
"I want to go home now, Felicie." As I turned to leave, Neni stood up, spilling the bowl of peas all over the porch floor.
"Your Maman sent you to me 'cause she worries you have a Gift. She sent you to me 'cause she understands how evil forces can snatch it and use it for evil. She sent you to me 'cause I have connections with those who have the highest level of knowledge and skill. They can help you learn to use your powers, if you even have any at all. She sent you to me 'cause she don't want you to suffer the way she has. She sent you to me for redemption."
Neni grabbed my arm, hurting me as I tried to pull away. Felicie told me to go with her. She assured me everything would be all right. I felt trapped, but I trusted Felicie.
Neni left Felicie to pick up the peas as she dragged me to a dimly lit room in the back of the house behind the kitchen. The room smelled like burnt spice. A small altar took up most of the room. A chair faced the altar. Neni instructed me to take hold of myself, sit down, and be quiet. She left me alone. My first impulse was to run out, but my curiosity wanted me to get a better look at the altar. Why should I fear this old woman? Maman would never send me to anyone who would harm me.
I decided against giving in to my curiosity and disobeying Neni. After a few minutes, a figure emerged from behind the altar and moved toward me. I thought it was a spirit, but as it got closer, I made out a dark-skinned woman with a head of bushy white hair. Unlike Neni, she didn't hide it under a scarf but wore it in thick interlocking braids that cascaded down her back. The contrast of her chocolate skin and clear blue eyes gave her an unearthly appearance. She focused her eyes on mine, motioning me to get up from the chair. As she sat down in it, she bowed her head and mumbled something I didn't understand. When she finished, she raised her head, gesturing for me to kneel in front of her. She pulled back my hair and examined first my right ear and then my left. After her examination, she reached into her pocket, pulled out a coin.
"What do you see?"
"It looks like a gold coin. Is it a gold coin?"
"Look closer, child."
As I focused on it, a figure surfaced.
"It's a woman's face."
"Look closely at the face. What else?
"She's wearing a mask."
"Now, close your eyes, and open your mouth."
When I did, she placed the coin under my tongue and told me to close my mouth. She laid her hands on my head and began chanting.
The coin heated up, and within a few seconds, it was so hot, I spit it out. It fell at her feet, and she picked it up. The face disappeared, but it was so hot, it turned red. Yet, it did not burn her fingers.
She led me to the altar cluttered with small red bags, stones, candles, dried bones and flowers, and bottles. She poured a glass of water from the red bottle and said it would cool my mouth. After I did, she explained the signs to me.
"You have a tiny - almost invisible- hole over your right ear. You never noticed it?"
"I thought it was a bump. Sometimes, it oozes sticky stuff, but it goes away for a while.”
"That hole over your right ear signs for goodness." Then she added, "If it was over your left ear, you would be hell-cussed. Some people have holes over both ears. They are never at peace and never able to control their powers."
She continued. "You detected the masked woman. That means you can see spirits. You turned the coin red hot. That means, once you become powerful enough, you will be able to cross the veil that separates the living from the dead."
Her declaration confirmed Maman's worst suspicions.
"Some people have this power, but they do nothing with it. They may not be aware they have it. Others act like just having it makes them special. It doesn't. Having power doesn't make you special unless you know how to use it. They see things, but don't understand what they see. They hear things, but they don't know what they hear. Then there are those who are not born with this power but hope that if they learn enough about charms, chants, spells, and such, the power will come to them. It won't."
"Your powers are emerging, but they aren't strong, and you can't control them."
The part about not being able to control my power scared me.
"If you want to master your powers, I can teach you, but only if you submit to my guidance and teaching and never question me. You must believe in yourself and in your powers. That won't be easy. You must conquer your fears and control your thoughts, actions, and emotions. You must always stand for truth and righteousness. You must only use your powers for good. Are you ready to become the person you are meant to be?"
I grasped for an answer. Who was I meant to be? How would I become that person? I chose to find out.
"I am ready to become the person I must be."
"Good."
She stood up and walked me back to the front porch where Felicie waited for me.
"What is your name? Who are you?" I asked before leaving.
With a boisterous laugh, she answered.
"Why, I'm Neni, of course! My second self. Call me Miss Marie."
Neni, who had spent her outer life serving others, following orders, and cleaning up other people's messes, had another life where she ruled.
✽✽✽
I quickly settled into a routine after Stefan returned to the academy. I got up early, checked on Maman, visited Felicie in the kitchen, and ate breakfast with the family. Auntie never failed to question me about my dreams the night before. My lessons with Beau were after breakfast. On Tuesday and Thursday afternoons, I practiced my dancing with Julian and had the rest of the day free. This is when Felicie would take me shopping, to the seamstress, or to Miss Marie.
I looked forward to our walks to the bustling marketplace in the heart of New Orleans. Grand mansions with extravagant balconies and courtyards, as well as modest cottages, peppered the streets. Songs performed by animated artists filled the parks with a unique sound and spilled over to the streets. We sometimes stopped at small cafes that rewarded our meager purchases with lagniappe. No walk with Felicie was complete until she shared a bit of history or superstition. She pointed out those mansions built over holding pens that once imprisoned slaves before they were sold at auction. According to her, their ghosts still haunt some of them, and they come out at night. That’s why she stayed away from the market after dark.
Felicie feared Auntie so much, she forbade me to mention our visits to Miss Marie when we were in the house, even when we were alone in the kitchen. On the days she could take me, she wore a red and yellow head wrap, her signal to meet her after my dancing sessions with Julian.
Brigitte spent most of her time in bed. We all tried our hardest to get her to eat, but she couldn't keep down any food. The spirit haunting her reappeared later that week. But, this time, I didn't hide under the security of my covers. I forced myself to watch it hovering, suspended in midair, over Brigitte's bed. I couldn't tell if it was man or woman. It remained a smoky, shapeless form. When it sprinkled dust over Brigitte, I bolted from my bed with no idea what I would do. I needed to show the spirit I was not afraid. When I did, the doorknob turned. The spirit left.
I went to Brigitte and wet a small facecloth in the basin near her bed. I startled her as I wiped the dust off of her
face. "What happened?"
Auntie had not told Brigitte her suspicions about the spirit, and neither had I. I didn't want to cross Auntie. This called for a lie of omission. I hoped Miss Marie wouldn’t hold it against me.
"I didn't mean to wake you. You were tossing and turning so fretfully, I was checking to see if you had a fever."
"Do I?"
"Not much of one."
"Thank you, Gabbie," she whispered. "I wish I could spend more time with you. When I'm stronger, I will."
"I can't wait for you to get better. I want us to become best friends. I can learn so much from you." This wasn't a lie.
"Me? Teach you? Like what?" she asked, pulling herself up to a sitting position.
"Like more about Stefan."
"You like him, don't you?"
I admitted I did.
"Stefan has been through a lot. He learned early in life how to hide his feelings. Perhaps, that makes him mysterious. We have grown closer over the past few years, but there is much I don't know."
"Could he could ever like me? I'm so different from all the other girls here."
"How are you so different?"
"I'm not as fair, or beautiful, or popular. I understand our family is prominent, but I haven't been a part of it for most of my life, so I don't feel that way. I'm the same poor girl who lived most of her life in Buras. I'm not complaining. I loved my life there."
Brigitte thought about this for a second.
"You're right about the typical girls in our social circle, but you're as pretty as any of them. Don't short-change yourself. Stefan already likes you. I can tell. That's something you can build on, isn't it?"
"I hope so."
"I understand why you were so happy in Buras. You had everything you needed or wanted. In time, I hope you will feel this is your home."Brigitte continued. "The more time you two spend together, the better he will appreciate you. It's true. You're not like the other girls. That's probably what he likes about you."
Brigitte gave me hope. He had already shared some feelings with me. I didn't want to tire her or wake up Auntie either.
"You better go back to sleep now. I'm sorry I woke you. We'll talk more tomorrow."
"By the way, Gabbie, we're already best friends."
I liked Brigitte a lot, and this surprised me. She had changed for the better since our first meeting, and I had too. For the rest of the night, my mind replayed the conversation I had with Stefan. He opened up to me. He talked about his family. That must be a good sign.
Chapter Eight
A Little Knowledge
I visited Neni the following week. Her second self even had a second dwelling next door with a hidden door that connected them. Miss Marie called it her Sacred Spiritual Temple. The pungent fragrance of burning incense and smoldering spices struck me as soon as I entered. It took a few minutes to get used to it. Flowers growing in pots, religious statues, and cryptic images filled the temple. In the front, an altar, much larger than Neni's, occupied an entire room. More plants, a fireplace, and a storage cabinet filled the kitchen next to the altar room. She called it her laboratory.
"This is where I do my root work, experiments, make my gris-gris, talismans, charms and such, and where I prepare special potions. You don't appreciate these things now, but you will later." She winked and smiled, giving me something to look forward to.
"Important people from all over come to me for help, mostly to remove evildoer's spells. I help those with clean hearts and hands, but those with evil intentions get nothing from me. Others come because of the good deeds they have done."
Before I could ask her why, she explained.
"People can store good deeds to make amends for some wicked deeds. I transfer their good deeds onto special dolls or onto magical stones. When the time comes to crossover, they take it with them. If I erase some of their wicked deeds, they will live in a better place in the Land of the Dead."
"You mean someone can do a lot of good deeds in this life and then use their stored up good deeds to make up for their wicked deeds?"
"As long as the wicked deeds weren't an offense against the Gran Met or caused the death of a righteous person. No amount of good deeds will balance that evil."
"What is the Gran Met?"
"The source of all power and life."
It sounded a lot like God. I liked this idea of storing up good deeds for the future. It might come in handy someday to erase some of my wicked deeds like the lies I told.
After her tour of the temple, Miss Marie led me back to the altar room where I began my training.
She disappeared behind the altar. When she reappeared a few minutes later, she wore a serpent coiled around her neck.
"You ain't afraid of snakes, are you?"
"In Buras, mud snakes slithered around our yard all the time. They didn't scare me."
"Whenever we call on the power of the Gran Met, we must begin with a spiritual cleansing. Many religions have baptism by water for purification of the soul. We begin with purification by water."
She sprinkled my head with rosewater that the Gran Met blessed. She then lit three white candles. Each represented the three pillars of my training, Wisdom from the Africans, Wisdom from the Indians, and Wisdom from the French and Spanish. She instructed me to take the Sacred Serpent and hold it in my arms.
I didn't lie when I told her I wasn't afraid of snakes, but the truth was I had never picked up one. And I never imagined one as intimidating as this one. I hesitated for a brief second before accepting it.
"Look the Sacred Serpent in the eye without flinching and ask his permission to become a pupil. He will give you a sign if he finds you worthy."
Despite my skepticism, I told myself anything was possible. Hadn't I already heard the voice of a dead man, seen lifeless things spring to life, and observed a floating spirit? I would take the next step. I did as she instructed and asked the Serpent's permission. As soon as I did, it bit me on my forearm.
An emblem of a cross within a circle around it burned where the snake bit me, but it didn't hurt. The symbol represented the meeting of two worlds. In a few seconds, the mark disappeared and became invisible. It would only become visible to the Gate Keeper of the Land of the Dead when I presented myself.
"You will begin by mastering the magical qualities of plants, herbs, oils, and roots, the tools of the Spiritual Arts."
"How long will it take?"
"There's a lot to learn. It depends on you. Once you have the knowledge of the materials, you will learn the magical processes. You must complete your training in order. You may not begin a new phase of your training without my permission. I will advise you when you are ready to advance. Do you understand these terms?"
"Yes."
"Well, you are ready."
She told me to expect visits from three Spiritual Guides, messengers from the other side. One will be my African Spiritual Guide, representing African traditions and practices. Another will be my Indian Spiritual Guide, representing Indian practices and traditions. The last will be a Spiritual Guide representing magical traditions from the English, French, and Spanish.
"If you are ready, you must take the Sacred Oath and Pledge. Repeat after me."
In the name of the Gran Met, the Most High, I, Gabrielle LaFitte, take this oath of my own free will. I swear to honor the Secrets of the Spiritual Arts, to be faithful to its Knowledge and Traditions, to revere my mentors and ancestors, to follow their guidance, and to keep the bonds of secrecy.
After I took my oath, the serpent retreated to Miss Marie's neck. My eyes closed. My head dropped and rolled from side to side. Something took control of my body, and I entered a dream state. Yet I could observe myself outside of my body. I danced, flinging my arms, jumping up and down, turning around in circles until I fell exhausted to the floor. I was ready.
My sessions always began by anointing my forehead with holy water or her Potent Purification Oil to rid me of any bad thoughts or feelings. She followed this
with prayers or Psalms. The first stage of my learning opened up an unknown world.
"Magic lives in plants, animals, minerals, trees, and elements. Spices, flowers, and tree bark store their own magic. Only those skilled in the Spiritual Arts can unleash this magic," she explained. Strange sounding plants like ruda, mugwart, angelica root, and hyssop occupied every corner of Miss Marie's house. Others grew from magical seeds planted in her garden. I spent hours examining things from herbs to insects and learning how to use them. Everything fascinated me, and I quickly absorbed the information.
One of the first spells I learned involved making a person feel like something was crawling inside. For that one, the hardest part was harvesting some spider eggs, but Miss Marie showed me how. Once I had them, I had to put them in someone's food, and wait for the reaction.
I wanted to experiment, but I had to pick the right subject. I considered Felicie but decided she might tell Neni. Even though I intended no harm, Neni might not see it that way. A better choice was Julian. I knew him better now and thought it wouldn't bother him so much. I'd only use a few eggs. The next day, an opportunity presented itself. Grann always gave us cookies, cake, or small sandwiches after we finished practicing. So, all I had to do was distract Julian long enough to put the spider eggs in his food.
Sure enough, Grann presented us with a small platter of sandwiches and lemonade. She spent a few minutes with us asking about how the practicing was going and about my preparations for the ball. When she excused herself, I took my chance. All I had to do was get Julian to leave the room for a few minutes.
"Julian, I'm getting pretty good at dancing, don't you agree?"
"I must admit that you're easy to teach. So, I guess you’re a fast learner."
"You're a fantastic teacher, Julian. You hardly ever complain when I step on your toes." I paid him a compliment in case my experiment didn't go over so well.
"You know, Gabbie, teaching you has helped me too. I didn't realize my dancing skills were so rusty. So, helping you, helped me."