by J. L. Beck
Though it’s doubtful. I’m pretty sure I heard my father talking to Laura about inviting Ava out to stay with us. If she’s smart, she won’t take the offer. She’ll run for the fucking hills.
Like a creep, I stare at her, watching her smile, and talk amongst the guests. There’s a darkness inside of me, an anger that’s laid dormant for a very long time, and it’s returning, rising up inside me like lava pushing out of a fucking volcano and when I erupt, she’s the first person I’m coming for.
“Ladies and gentlemen, it is time for the first dance. Please, Henry and Laura, come and let us see those sweet dance moves,” Steve, my father’s best man’s, voice which also happens to be Clark's father, rattles through the speakers.
The crowd parts making way for my father and his new wife. Everyone grows quiet as the music starts to play, all eyes on them, including my own. They dance, my father holding her close, while leaning in to most likely whisper sweet nothings in her ear.
Their smiles are dazzling and filled with love, so much love it’s truly disgusting. I take another swig of my beer to stomach the image before me.
No way can I bring myself to feel even an ounce of happiness for them. It will never happen, no matter how much Laura tries to warm up to me. In my eyes, she’ll always be the enemy’s mother. Resentment pools in my belly as they continue to dance. This stupid marriage was both a blessing and a nightmare.
A nightmare because it made Ava my stepsister, and a blessing because it brought her back to me, making it possible for me to get revenge, something I had told myself a million times over I would never get.
That night when we left with nothing but a few belongings after my father told me what she had done. I vowed to get even with her, and maybe it wouldn’t have been so bad, maybe I could’ve let it go, but then my parents divorced, and that drove the knife of betrayal deeper into my chest. Channeling all my feelings over it, I placed that blame on Ava as well, knowing that if I ever got the chance to see her again, if she ever showed her face in this town again, I would ruin her. And lucky me, her stuck up mother fell for my filthy rich father.
I try not to think about Laura being married to my father, basking in his riches while my mother got nothing after the divorce, not a single dime. I give her a few hundred dollars each month from my allowance so she can get by. I don’t give a shit about the money, I would give her thousands if I could.
When the song ends and their dance is over, and thank god, I was close to puking, Steve’s voice booms through the room again causing me to roll my eyes. Enough with the sappy speeches and corny jokes already. Let’s just get drunk and forget this nightmare ever happened.
“Now as requested by the bride and groom, I would like to invite Vance and Ava to the dance floor to join their parents.”
The fuck? No way.
No. Fucking. Way.
The beer bottle in my hand almost slips to the floor. A wave of ahhs and ohhs whisper through the crowd, and all I can do is stand there, mouth parted in shock, unable to believe the words I just heard. No way, no motherfucking way.
“Here’s your chance…” Clark nudges me in the side.
“Now don’t be shy, you two. Get out here, and show your folks how it’s done,” Steve chuckles into the mic.
My gaze swings to my father who is giving me a don’t make a scene look. He told me to play nice and welcome Ava into the family, probably to please his new wife. But I’m never going to welcome her back into my life, not ever.
Grinding my teeth together so harshly I think I might chip one, I shove my beer into Clark’s chest and make my way out onto the dance floor.
Ava scurries across the dance floor meeting me in the center, she’s fidgeting with her hands, nervousness flickers in her green eyes. Does she expect me to reassure her, to tell her everything’s going to be okay? I almost expect her to run away, surely she knows I won’t let her stay here after what she did?
I’ve successfully avoided her all night while knowing this moment would come sooner or later. I just didn’t think we would have the entire fucking guest list staring at us when it did. That kind of makes saying what I want to her without everyone hearing or seeing obsolete, and if I fuck up, ruining my father’s wedding by being an asshole, then he’ll hand me my ass ten-fold. The next song starts, and I take a predatory step toward her.
Run. Run as fast as you can….
Forcing my curled fists to uncurl, I reach for her, grabbing her by the hip, pulling her into my chest before offering my other hand like a complete gentleman. She gasps softly through her parted lips at the contact and I take pleasure in knowing that I can get even the simplest of a reaction out of her.
Hesitantly, as if she already knows what will happen to her, she places her much smaller hand into mine and this weird electric current zings through me. It feels like I’ve stuck my finger in a light socket, and I want it to go away, but in order to do that I would have to let her go, and I’m not ready to do that, not yet.
No matter how much I try, I can’t help but notice how soft and warm her hand is inside of mine, the warmth of her touch seeping deep into my veins. Warm? Soft? What the hell, when did I grow a pussy? Why the hell am I thinking about her hand, about how tiny it is? She’s nothing, nothing but a fucking con-fucking-artist. I hate how she makes me feel, that she can evoke feelings from deep inside me that I shouldn’t feel for someone like her...for anyone, for that matter.
So fragile, soft, warm.
“Hi,” she whispers, her voice like a wisp of air blowing through the trees, as we start dancing. Hi? That’s what she says after all this time. After what she did to me…what she did to my family? Hi? What the fuck?
She should be crying, begging me to forgive her, not rambling some fucking hi like we’re long lost best friends or something. The blood in my veins boil, but I rein in my anger. When I don’t answer her, she keeps talking, carrying on like the last five years didn’t happen.
“So, I guess we’re going to the same college?” she asks, peering up at me through thick lashes. Up close, she looks breathtaking, which only drives my stake of hate for her deeper.
“Don’t!” I scold, through clenched teeth. “Don’t fucking pretend we are friends.”
Her whole body stiffens at my words, and my grip on her hip tightens. Shock flashes over her features and again, I’m baffled by how ignorant to this situation she is acting.
It’s an act. Plain and simple.
She might be able to fool everyone else, but she can’t fool me. I won’t be ensnared by her beauty. I mean, what did she think was going to happen? That she could just come back here and I would forgive and forget that she fucked me over?
Wrecked my family and my life, just to save her ass. It was a simple dare, but it ripped my entire world to pieces. We were only kids, but there were consequences for your actions and while she carried on with her fucking perfect life I suffered.
Unable to stop myself, I pull her closer, so close that her perky breasts are almost touching my chest. I can’t stop myself from looking at them. The last time I saw her, she was hardly a woman, and now she’s grown into herself, her body finally taking shape, her hips flaring, her breasts heaving.
Her sweet scent permeates the air, filling my nostrils. Maybe if I didn’t hate her so much, I’d find it appealing, but instead, I tell myself it’s revolting. Ignoring the way she feels against me, and the urge to inhale her, I lean down, my mouth pressing to the shell of her ear.
“This innocent act you’ve got going on, it’s cute and all, but I see right through it. I can smell bullshit a mile away and you smell like you’ve bathed in it.”
“Wh...what?” Her body trembles in my hold and her breath hitches in her throat like she might be scared. Be scared, cry, run… get as far away from me as you can.
“This is your only warning. Leave, go back to wherever the fuck it is you came from...and I’ll take mercy on you, just this once.” I lick my lips, pulling back, letting my eyes dro
p to her slender neck. I can see her pulse thrumming beneath the skin, giving away her fear and I can’t stop the sinister smile that appears on my lips. I shouldn’t crave her pain, her fear like I do. I know it’s fucked up, but I didn’t do this. She did.
My body tingles, my heart jack-hammering in my chest. Her fear is like my own personal brand of heroin and I’ll do anything I can to get another hit.
“Stay, and I'll make you wish you never met me. One way or another, I’ll send you back to your daddy. I’ll make you pay...”
The song ends right then, and I release her like she’s a venomous snake that’ll strike at any second, refusing to give in to the need burning through me, the need to make her hurt, to feel my pain. Turning around, I stalk off the dance floor and back over to Clark, who is smiling like a fucking asshole. I hate her, but I also want her.
I grab my beer from him and down the entire thing at once. I don’t want to see her face again. I can’t handle seeing her play the innocent little girl when I know all too well that she’s a liar. A beautiful one at that.
Chapter Three
Ava
What the hell was that?
My whole body is shaking as I watch Vance walk away. I’m not sure what I expected our first interaction to be like, but it certainly wasn’t like that. My hand is still warm from where he was holding onto it and I think he burned a hole in my dress where he was touching my hip.
Why is he so angry with me?
I’ve been watching him from afar all day. Too scared to talk to him after so long. It didn’t take but one look for me to know that the boy I had known since I was a young child was no longer a boy, but now a man.
A dark, broody, man that apparently had it out for me. His warning rung inside my head. Disdain dripped from his words, there was venom in his eyes and he wanted to inject me with it, but why?
I couldn’t take my eyes off of him, or forget the way he looked down at me during our dance. The image will forever be ingrained in my mind, and I don’t understand why. He’s handsome as sin, his hair the same russet brown, but cut shorter on the sides and longer on top. His jaw is sharp, and his cheekbones are high. And those green eyes of his, seem darker now, holding secrets that I plan to expose. Obviously time has been good to him, he looks like he walked off the cover of a GQ magazine.
Shaking my head, I will the images away. Trying to forget how it felt when he touched me. Those butterflies I got in my stomach all those years ago, it felt like there was an entire zoo of them taking up residence inside me. His sudden hate for me is nothing but confusing. It should be me who is mad, not him. I’ve lost everything, and he...he got it all. Just like Henry and my mother, he got everything he wanted.
The poor boy he used to be, the one with nothing had everything now, and the roles were reversed. The girl who once upon a time, had it all, had nothing.
People start to flood back onto the dance floor, and I realize that I’m still standing in the middle of the room. Everyone joins in to celebrate the happy couple and I force my lips to pull into a smile as I smooth a nervous hand down the front of my dress.
I feel dizzy, drunk, and all from one simple dance.
It takes me a moment to compose myself and get my legs to start moving again, but once they do, I find my way out of the crowd, walking toward the bridal party table. I look around, trying to find my mother in the sea of bodies, but all I see is hundreds of faces that I don’t know.
All my fears start to trickle into my mind. A knot forms in my throat. I’ve never felt so out of place in my life. Like a flower in a sea of weeds, I stick out, drawing unwanted attention.
I heard some of the guests whispering about me, about how my mother only married for money, and how my father was a drunk. Their words stung even if they weren’t directly said to me. It almost hurt more that they said them behind my back.
Trying to soothe the ache in my chest, I remind myself that I’m not here for anyone else, but still Vance’s warning isn’t something I can just shake off. Surely he didn’t mean what he had said? Maybe he was joking? Yeah, I don’t think so...
I glance around the room again, silently searching for him, but he’s nowhere in sight. And suddenly I’m reminded of why I never should’ve agreed to come here.
Everyone around me seems to be having the time of their lives, drinking, dancing, and singing while I’m standing in a corner of the room alone. I don’t need anyone to tell me that this isn’t where I belong, that this isn’t where I should be. Vance and my mother have already proven that tonight. And yet I have nowhere else to go, nowhere else to be. And somehow, I wish my past was my present. Where Vance and I were friends again. Where my parents were still together, and I had never discovered the one secret that shattered my world.
◆◆◆
After the wedding last night I went to bed, tears filling my eyes while I prayed the next day would be better. All thoughts of Vance were pushed to the back of my brain, along with his anger toward me. College was what I needed to be focusing on, making something of my shit life. All I could do was keep pushing forward, remembering that things could be worse.
Waking up the next morning, I had hoped I could spend some time with my mom before she and Henry left for their honeymoon, but it was obvious that wasn’t going to happen as soon as I woke up. I had barely seen her yesterday and today she was absent, nowhere to be found in this enormous house. In fact, I hadn’t seen anyone except the housekeeping crew.
Disappointment settled heavy in my gut. When will I ever come to terms with the fact that my mom is and always will be, absent from my life. Five years ago, I didn’t just lose everything, I lost my mom. Finding her that night, seeing her…
Squeezing my eyes shut, I will the memory away. I press my curled fists into the Tempur-Pedic mattress and exhale through my mouth. After a few moments, I feel calmer and open my eyes.
At least I haven’t run into Vance yet, and after his cryptic threat last night I’m more than thankful for that. I’m not quite sure what to make of him. I was too shocked by his words to form a single sentence last night. I wanted to respond but I couldn’t, my vocal box refusing to work.
Most of the morning is spent hiding in my room, sneaking out to grab some breakfast from the kitchen before retreating back inside it. It feels weird staying here, eating food without asking. This doesn’t feel like a home to me... it feels like I’m more of a guest…an unwanted guest at that. When I hear voices carrying through the house, I pop my head out my bedroom door and into the hallway.
I don’t see anyone, but I can hear my mom’s high pitched giggles and Henry’s deep laugh. I bound down the stairs like a kid on Christmas morning, beyond excited to see my mother, and maybe get a chance to spend some time with her. When I reach the bottom step, I’m met with disappointment once again because I know my mother isn’t staying here. Not with them pulling luggage out of the hallway closet.
“Hey, sweetheart. We’re about to head to the airport,” my mom greets me.
“Oh, okay,” I say, trying to hide the hurt from my voice.
Shouldn’t I be used to the let down by now? I feel like one of those kids that wait outside all day for their parents to pick them up, but they never come. That’s my mother, never showing up, never caring.
“Sorry we weren’t here when you woke up, we had some last minute errands to make,” she explains while looking through her carry-on bag. She doesn’t even look up at me as she’s talking, which only grates on my nerves further. I’m her daughter, not some piece of crap, the least she could do is give me a sliver of her attention.
Henry starts to wheel out the first suitcase and that’s when I spot someone moving behind him, walking through the door.
Vance. The air around me becomes electrically charged. The fine hairs on my arms sticking up at his entrance. When we were kids, I thought he was disgusting. I mean, I thought all boys were. But now… now I’ve come to realize that Vance is anything but disgusting. He’s sin dipped in cho
colate.
“There you are. I need to talk to you before we leave,” Henry says, propping the suitcase up against the door.
“What is it? I’m busy,” Vance snaps, his gaze on his phone rather than his father. His muscles tense and as if he feels my eyes on him, he lifts his eyes to mine, giving me his full attention. I should look away, it would be the smart thing to do, the safe thing. But, I’ve never taken the easy route and it’s not like he doesn’t already know he’s disgustingly gorgeous, drawing all the attention and air out of the room.
I’m simply window shopping, looking is just fine. Plus, he hates me anyway, and I’m totally not checking him out. Taking in his appearance, I see he’s wearing a pair of jeans, Wrangler, I think, that hang low on his hips, rather than a designer pair. He’s matched his simple jeans with a plain cotton t-shirt, and a pair of black boots. He looks more like the boy from my past than he did yesterday in his suit and tie.
Swallowing, I imagine the body he’s hiding beneath that cotton shirt. Does he have a six-pack? Are his muscles stone, and chiseled from rock? God, I need to stop thinking about him. Somehow I snap myself out of the trance his presence has put me in and lick my dry lips. Hopefully, I’m not drooling. The last thing I want is for him to know that I’m attracted to him.
Henry ignores his son’s attitude. Obviously he’s used to it. “There’s been some changes… I know I’ve told you both that you could live on campus after classes start, but Laura and I decided it would make more sense if you guys just lived here instead—”
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” Vance interrupts his father, his gaze turning murderous.
“It’s only a twenty-minute drive to campus, plus you can ride together. It will be good for you two to spend some time together. Catch up,” Henry adds.
Vance makes a snorting noise, his eyes rolling so far to the back of his head I’m afraid they might get stuck back there.
My mom smiles nervously, her gaze moving over each of us, as if she’s trying to avoid confrontation. How typical of her. Always avoiding the important stuff.