by J. L. Beck
The wetness against my back bathes my skin. Sirens sound in the distance inching closer to where we are but somehow farther away at the same time. Like the undertow of the ocean, I’m pulled under, sinking deeper, and deeper.
“Please, Vance,” Ava pleas. “I love you, you can’t die, you can’t.”
She loves me. I force my lips to turn up into a smile. She loves me. Her words are the last thing I hear before the heaviness of the dark becomes too much to fight.
If this is the end, than it was worth it.
At least it was her voice I heard last, her touch I felt last.
◆◆◆
Darkness surrounds me for a long time, or at least it feels like it’s a long time. I’m floating somewhere between sleep and wakefulness. There’s a tightening in my chest, but it’s not pain. I don’t feel any pain and for some reason, I find that odd. I think I should feel pain, but I can’t remember why. My brain feels like it’s been thrown in a blender, a thick fog clouds my thoughts, making it hard to string together what happened.
The first thing I notice, other than the darkness, is a low, steady beeping sound somewhere close to me. I can hear my heartbeat, and not just in my ears, but outside my body.
It takes an enormous amount of effort to peel my eyes open, but when I do, I just want to close them again. There’s a light so bright it might as well be the sun shining down on me. My eyes strain to see, and I blink a couple hundred times.
“Ahhh,” I groan softly, so softly it’s more like a wheeze than an actual groan.
When I’m finally able to take in my surroundings, I quickly realize that I’m lying in a hospital bed. A familiar whimper meets my ears and my gaze swings in the direction of the noise. Across the room, a small body is curled up in the recliner. Ava.
Like looking into a kaleidoscope, a flurry of images flood my mind. Greg. The gun. Ava in danger. The gunshot. The heat, and pain. She loves me. She. Loves. Me. I should be worried about the fact that I was shot, but all my thoughts are consumed by her, by her words.
“Ava…” I call out to her, my throat raw, feeling like gritty sandpaper. She stirs, her green eyes blinking open ever so slowly. When she notices me awake, her eyes widen, and she jumps out of her chair almost tripping over her own feet.
“Vance, oh my God. You’re awake,” she says, her tiny hand clutching onto mine like I might disappear into thin air.
“No way you’re going to get rid of my ass that easily.”
Her pretty pink lips form into a frown. “You scared me. I thought you…” Her eyes fill with tears and I’ve never seen her so pale, so well… worried. “I thought you were going to die. The whole way to the hospital, you were out, and then when they took you into surgery.”
“Shhh…” I soothe, cupping her cheek. “I’m here, alive and breathing so no more crying babe.” There’s no way in hell I can bear to see her cry right now. Not when I already want to hold her in my arms, but can’t. I try and sit up, but there’s a piercing pain that lances across my back.
“Fuck,” I growl, gritting my teeth. I feel like my back is nailed to the bed and with every move, my flesh is being ripped out.
“Just, don’t move. They had to sew you up, and you don’t want to pull your stitches.”
“Where’s…” I start but pause, guilt flashes in Ava’s eyes.
“The police took my father away. My mom and your dad went to the police station after you got out of surgery and the doctor told us you will make a full recovery. The bullet missed all major organs, but you did lose a lot of blood, and that’s why you passed out.”
“I’m fine, I’m just glad it’s me in this bed and not you.” Seriously, I don’t think I could handle seeing her in pain like this.
“And I wish it was me instead of you,” she murmurs, her eyes cast down at the ugly hospital gown I’m in.
“Don’t say that, I more than deserved to get shot after the way I’ve treated you. Now we’re even.” I wink playfully.
Ava sighs deeply. “How did our lives become so complicated and messy?”
“I’m not sure, but I can promise you that I’ll try my best to make it as uncomplicated as I can from here on out. Gunshot, or no gunshot I still want you and now I know you want me too.”
Ava opens her mouth looking as if she’s about to disagree, but she’s interrupted with a light knocking on the door a second before it squeaks open a foot.
A middle-aged nurse with long blonde hair peeks inside, her lips turning up into a smile when she spots me in bed. “Hi, Mr. Preston. I’m glad to see you’re finally awake and talking.”
She pushes the door all the way open and steps inside. Grabbing the clipboard hanging on the wall on the way, she comes to step directly beside me.
“I’m glad as well,” I tell her. “Thanks for fixing me up.”
“That’s what we’re here for. How is your pain level right now?”
“Manageable.” The last thing I want to do is mention my pain. All I want to do is get out of here and go home.
“Good, lean forward and let me take a look at your back.”
Gritting my teeth, I do as she asks. She leans over me, pulling up the back of my gown to check the wound. Her hands are gentle, and for the most part, I’m not in much more pain.
“Looks good. I’ll let the doctor know that you’re awake, and that you’re handling the pain well. You’ll need to eat something and keep it down, but if the doctor says so, you’ll probably be able to go home today.”
“Thank you,” I murmur, as she writes something down on the clipboard and heads back toward the door.
“Of course if you need anything before I return, then hit the call light button attached to your bed. I’ll be back in a little bit with something to eat.” She gives both of us a heartfelt smile before slipping out of the room, closing the door behind her.
As soon as she’s gone, I turn to Ava. She’s worrying her bottom lip between her teeth and I groan, my cock hardening at the image. Reaching for her, I tug her into my chest, and practically onto the bed.
“I might have been out of it, but I heard you say it.”
“Say what?” she asks coyly.
“Don’t play dumb. I know you love me. I heard you say it. You can’t deny it.”
“You didn’t hear anything, it must have been your imagination.”
Liar.
“I love you, Ava. I’m sorry for hurting you, for everything that happened, for our lives being as fucked up as they are. I’m sorry. You deserve better than me, one hundred percent, but if you’ll have me. I’ll spend every day making it up to you.”
“We don’t have to talk about this right now,” Ava mumbles, and I grab her by the chin forcing her to look at me.
Bright green eyes pierce mine.
“Yes, we do. I could’ve died.” You could have died. I can’t even say those words out loud. “We’ve already wasted so much time. I don’t want to waste another minute. I want to spend every minute of every day going forward with you. I want to hold you in my arms when I fall asleep and wake you up with my tongue and fingers every morning.”
“What kind of drugs did they give you?” she asks, her eyes lighting up with amusement.
“They didn’t have to give me anything. I’m already on the best kind… the kind that makes your heart beat real fast and butterflies flutter in your stomach.”
“I don’t think that’s a drug.”
“You’re right.” I lean into her face, so close I can press my lips to hers. “It’s not a drug, it’s called love, and it’s far more powerful than any drug I’ve ever heard of.”
“Is that right?” she whispers breathlessly.
“Yes, fuck yes…” I growl before pressing my lips to hers.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Ava
Henry and my mother make an appearance just as the doctors are discharging Vance. We decide to discuss what happened when we get home so as not to make a scene in the hospital. Vance, for the most p
art, remains quiet, his hand in mine gathering a few stares, those including our parents. They help me get him into the car, and I slide in next to him.
I try not to think about the conversation we are about to have, I don’t want to hear them tell me what’s going to happen to my dad. I know what he did was wrong, so wrong, and I realize how serious this is. Breaking and entering, threatening with a deadly weapon, shooting Vance…the crimes are stacking up. He’s going to end up going to prison for a long time and I know he isn’t innocent, but he’s still my dad and deep down, I know he wouldn’t have ever intentionally hurt Vance.
Chewing on my fingernails absentmindedly I let my gaze fall on the houses and trees that whoosh by in a blur. My mind is so wound up, that I flinch when Vance gently takes my wrist and pulls my hand away from my mouth, interlacing our fingers. I stare down to where our hands are joined. Never did I think we would be together, and now, now it’s surreal. The thought of losing him, for a short while there, I was consumed with fear. I didn’t know if he was going to be okay, there was too much blood, and it was…
“Calm down,” Vance leans in and whispers, his breath fanning against the shell of my ear. Goosebumps blanket my skin and I feel myself leaning into his touch.
“I thought I lost you.” The words expel from my lips easily.
“Shhh, you didn’t. I’ll never leave you,” Vance says as we pull into the driveway. Henry parks as close to the front door as he can. Together we half carry him up the front steps and into the house. By the time we make it up the stairs and into his bedroom, he’s cursed twenty thousand times and I’m breathing like I jogged up the Empire State Building.
Once we get him settled in bed, propping him up with five pillows, our parents start the dreaded talk.
“We didn’t want to talk about this back at the hospital because we weren’t sure how it would turn out, but we decided to press charges against Greg,” my mother says nervously. Vance remains quiet, blinking up at her. It’s hard to read him, and not even I know how this is going to pan out. “We asked the judge that they not put him in jail, but instead make him go to a mandatory rehab facility where he can get the help he needs.”
“Good, because no matter what happens, I still blame the two of you,” Vance says, emotionless.
“Son, what happened isn’t—”
“No, shut up. I don’t want to hear another lie come out of your mouth. In fact, I don’t want anything to do with you. Greg never would’ve found himself in a situation like this had you not made the choice to sleep with his wife. You and Laura are the cause of everyone’s pain, and I hope you both can live with that.”
Tears well in my mother’s eyes, but I can’t bother to feel sorry for her. Vance isn’t wrong. While everyone else has suffered, they’ve lived this great life, always having each other, always putting their needs first.
“We didn’t... I mean, we love—” Henry starts again, but Vance cuts him off once more.
“I told you what I wanted. Leave me alone, leave Ava alone, and you can go back to your precious little life. Fuck with either one of us, and I’ll tell Mom you lied. I’ll ruin you, bury you.”
Henry gives my mother a panicked look before walking toward the door. My mother, of course, follows behind him and I wonder if she ever really cared about me? If she wanted me here because she wanted her daughter here or because she felt obligated to give me a place to live? Not once did she stick up to Henry in my defense and even now, she’s like a weak dog.
“Whatever you want, son. It’s yours.”
“Good,” Vance snarls, and both my mother and Henry walk out, closing the door gently behind them. Once we’re alone, I feel his eyes on me. I turn to look at his face. His nostrils flare, and his emerald green eyes seem brighter.
“Come here…” he orders, pushing himself up toward the headboard.
“You can’t do that, you’re going to pull your stitches,” I scold, pushing up from the desk chair. I take a seat on the side of the bed, but obviously that’s not close enough because he grabs onto me and hauls me against his chest.
“Vance!” I squeal.
“Be mine. Be with me, Ava. I’ve fucked up. I know I did, but I promise you there is good in me. I will make this right, I’ll treat you right, and I will make you my number one priority. I want you to move out of my dad’s house and in with me. I want everyone to know that you’re my girlfriend and that I love you.”
It all sounds like a dream. I never thought Vance would care about me, let alone love me. But, I guess hate can’t grow when you cut off its only source of sunlight.
“I...I want that too, but we don’t want to move too fast.”
“We can go at whatever pace you want, but I won’t let you stay here under my father’s thumb. I’m done letting them rule our lives. They’ve been happy while the rest of us have suffered and I’m not letting it happen anymore.”
For years I’ve longed to be loved, I just never expected that love to be found in him.
“But what about money? I can’t pay for college on my own, let alone a place to live. I’ll have to get a job, which isn’t a problem but...” My voice trails off. I know I’m thinking too much into this, but it’s a lot of responsibility, and with a new relationship, we don’t stand a chance.
Vance grins, having obviously thought everything through. “Slow down, baby. I told my dad to give me my trust fund now. It was supposed to be mine after college, but he agreed that I could have it now. There’s enough money in there that we won’t have to worry about paying tuition or rent. We can forget about your mom, my father, and we can live a normal life, without lies and memories of the past.”
“Vance, I can’t let you…”
Lifting his hand, he presses a finger to my lips, silencing me. His eyes piercing mine, softening me with one single look.
I don’t want to argue with him, not after all we’ve been through. It should be me saying sorry, me offering to take care of him, I mean he got shot by my father.
“You can, and you will let me pay for it. I want to take care of you. Please, let me do this. Let me take that worry away from you. I owe it to you, to us.”
“Okay, but only if you let me pay you back.” I’ll probably never be able to repay him, but I’ll try.
“Oh, you can pay me back, alright.” He snickers, and I feel his hardened member pressing against my ass. “You could start now if you’re feeling generous.”
“Stop it, you’re healing. You could barely get up the stairs, you need to rest before doing any kind of activities.”
Vance’s face deadpans. “I got shot, baby. My dick didn’t fall off.”
“Well no sex, not until you’re fully healed. I don’t want to be responsible for any other injuries you might incur. I feel bad enough as it is.”
“Don’t. I’d much rather have been shot than had you shot. It was my choice, and one I would make again and again.”
I lean into his face, lifting my hand, I cup him by the cheek. “Truth or Dare?”
“Truth,” he says, his full lips begging to be kissed. “Always the truth from now on out.”
“Maybe just one last dare?” I tease.
“Okay…” He pauses, thinking and I wonder what I’ve got myself into. “Since sex is off the table…I… dare you... to… kiss me.”
I press my lips to his before he can say anything else, swallowing up whatever words were going to come out of his mouth next. Our relationship was never going to be perfect, but I don’t want perfect.
I just want Vance Preston, today, tomorrow, forever.
My best friend, my bully, my love.
Epilogue
Vance
“Do we have to go?” Ava pouts, and I squeeze her hand in mine. Now I understand why Remington is so territorial over Jules. Love makes you do crazy things.
“Yes, we have to go. No way in hell am I not showing you off. I want everybody to know we are together, so no one dares to hit on you when I’m not with you.”
/>
“But, you are always with me.” She grins. It’s true, we have been inseparable for the last few weeks. While I was recovering, she played my nurse and even now that I’m all healed up, we do everything together.
My father successfully covered up the whole shooting incident. At least he got that right. Ava didn’t want people to know what her dad did, and I was more than happy to help make it go away. No one besides our family and Clark knows that I was shot.
I’ve kept my promise to right all my wrongs, and tonight I’m going to right another wrong. I’m going to make it known to the entire campus that she’s mine, and shut down any rumors that might be floating around.
“We don’t have to stay late. Just long enough for everybody to see us together.”
“You make it sound like I’m a trophy or something.”
“Trophy wife, maybe?”
“Slow down, we just moved in together. Marriage is like a thousand light years away.”
“I can wait, but one day you will be my wife…just so we’re clear on that. You’ll carry my last name, and then my babies.” I can’t help but grin, even though I know me speaking of the future terrifies Ava, I know she’s it for me, and I need her to know that too.
“Okay, someday.” Ava giggles as we walk up to the porch. Inside, the party is in full swing. Loud music, laughter, and chatter can be heard from the street and when we walk through the front door those noises only get louder.
I let go of Ava’s hand and instead wrap an arm around her, tucking her small body into my side as we walk through the crowd. Heads turn and people stare at us while I lead us across the living room. Our relationship is still somewhat new, and the gossip about us being together will spread like a wildfire, the sorority girls wanting to get in every last word.