• Stay silent, stay in line.
• Find your way to James. He’ll know what’s going on.
MAKE YOUR CHOICE
Waiting Game
The three seamen sit on three sides of a square card table, leaving the fourth side conveniently open for a new player. Introducing yourself, you inquire as to the nature of the game. The ancient mariner across from you seems to be the leader of the bunch, a clean-shaven bastion of civilization amongst these brutish men. He introduces himself simply as Wycombe, surgeon assigned to the HMS Hornblower. Clearly prone to vice, at least while on shore, he cradles an opium pipe with an ornately carved tiger on its head.
The gruff man on your left says, “Everyone calls me ‘Monks,’ on account’s me name’s too hard t’say, and also I hail from the little parish of Monks Risborough.” He has several facial scars and two tattoos: a cannon along one forearm, and a cutlass on the other. “I’d be the gunner on the same ship.”
“We’re all on the same bloody ship, we got pressed into her service,” the third man says in a crisp Scottish accent. He’d look just as gruff as Monks if it weren’t for the spectacles he wears. “And I suppose ya want to know my role? Call me Argyle. Able-bodied seaman, according to the logs, which I happen to keep. I got the best penmanship in the Royal Navy, and the Commander has no taste for bookkeeping, so ’tis a win-win.”
“Gentlemen, may we get on with it?” Wycombe asks.
The sailors offer you a seat at their table and explain the rules of their game. Though they have several fun names for it—Set the Rigging, Seaman’s Bastard, Dog Watch Downs, and most hilariously, Fleeting Booty—seems as if it’s essentially just a 50/50 win-or-lose scenario. And despite the extreme odds, they bet heavily.
So, Dear Reader, grab a six-sided die or a nearby coin. Give it a roll and/or a flip, as appropriate. Or, just pick one of the two choices if you have no taste for the theatrical. But know this: to keep the process honest, I’ve randomized the outcome, and I’m not telling you which is the win or the loss. Good luck!
• Heads on the coin toss, or a one, two, or three shown on the die. Click here.
• Tails on the coin toss, or a four, five, or six shown on the die. Click here.
MAKE YOUR CHOICE
Walk on the Wildside
You set off into the jungle, the plants tugging on your seaman’s clothes. What was meant to be light and airy on a ship is now easily tangled on thorns and brambles. If only you had a cutlass to hack through the undergrowth!
It’s slow going through the thick vegetation. Unlike the public footpath trails that crisscross the English countryside near your Buckinghamshire home, mankind has left no route for you to follow here. Indeed, you might be the very first human to set foot on this island. There’s something exciting about such thoughts, even if they are terrifying.
Then you hear it—the telltale roar of water.
Rushing forward, you find a clearing with a great pond, fed by a waterfall. The source must come from somewhere up the mountain, and though it’s no gushing river, it is more than a trickling brook. This water will sustain you!
Drinking straight from the waterfall itself, you taste the purest water you’ve had since becoming a sailor. Possibly even the best water of your life. Untainted by civilization, purified by the rocks and the motion of the waterfall, this is pure mountain stream water.
But this sense of elation is to be short-lived.
After you finish congratulating yourself, you realize the sun has set, with you still in the interior of the jungle. You generally know which way you came from, but could you hope to retrace your steps in the dark? Could you sleep somewhere near the pond?
And that’s when you see the shape moving through the jungle. You fumble for the pistol at your waist, but before you can find it, the jaguar leaps out.
Turns out, tromping through the jungle at night might not have been the best idea.
THE END
Warming Up
The fire keeps you warm that night, and it’s a much better night’s sleep without any rain, though you do have nightmares of marauding pirates lurking in the shadows of your encampment. Even now, the next morning, you have an unshakeable feeling that you’re being watched on this island. It’s hard to say how much of that is in your imagination.
The embers in your fire still pulse with heat, and you’re able to stoke these coals to get a morning fire going. If you keep the coals alive and insulate the burn pit while still allowing airflow, you won’t have to keep using your flintlock to start a fire every night. You can also use the coals to make a bowl.
By finding a piece of wood of roughly the desired size and shape, you can put the embers on the center and scrape out the charred pieces with a rock. By repeating this process, you will eventually find yourself with a wooden bowl.
Then you’ll just need something to fill it with. Your stomach growls at the thought of food. From the views afforded at your camp, you see one section of coastline dotted with rocks. If you stand on them, you can try to spear any fish that might swim by.
After forming a few wooden spears, you hike down to try your luck. As it turns out, many different types of fish cluster near these rocks as reefs, where they might find protection from larger fish. Yet, they won’t be so easily shielded from your spearing once you’ve perfected your technique.
What sort of fish might be the best to eat?
• The brightly-colored reef fish. Easy to spot, probably easy to catch and eat.
• Fish that look like rocks. Muted colors keep them safe, but you can see them when they move.
• The biggest fish I can find. As an apex predator, best to set your sights high.
MAKE YOUR CHOICE
Wasting
Yes, you can eat many of the organs. Kidney, liver, heart. And there is some meat on the head, so you won’t go hungry, but the truth is that you wasted the best parts of this hog. If it had parasites, they’d either be killed off by the fire (largely why we humans cook our food), or you’d end up with the same parasites anyway, just by living on the island. Porcine anatomy isn’t that different from person anatomy.
If you make it off this island alive, people will likely give you strange looks when hearing this part of the tale recounted. Still, there are worse mistakes to make, and more serious situations to consider. Like the one that will occur tomorrow morning.
* * *
The next day, you’re off from camp, hiking down to the pond for fresh water, when you come face to face with a jaguar.
Its golden fur glows tawny in the early light; black splotches break up the outline of the animal, even as it stares at you out in the open. Is this who’s been following you these last few days? Likely so. What was once curiosity to size you up now very well may put you on the menu. What do you do?
• Stand tall, but slowly back away. Speak calmly. Say, “It’s okay, I don’t mean you any harm.”
• Almost as if in slow motion, remove your pistol and shoot the beast. Can’t get revenge if you’re dead.
• Shout, “Look, over there!” and then run in the opposite direction as fast as you can.
• Scream loudly to frighten the animal and climb up into the nearest tree for safety.
• Confidently walk towards the jaguar. Lock eyes to show dominance. Say, “This is my island now!”
MAKE YOUR CHOICE
Waylaid
You put up your fists, prepared to defend yourself. The two seamen smile at another chance to fight. Deep down, you fear that even one of them might prove too much for you, if it were to be a fair fight. Yet it’s to be anything but.
Dick sidles behind you and the sound of wood sliding on wood makes you turn around, just in time to see Dick claim a loose beam from the boardwalk.
The pair of sailors grab you by the arms and Dick clouts you on the head with the board. It’s enough to make you lose consciousness, though not enough to kill you. Time will tell if that would’ve been a mercy.
Wake up and face the consequences of Dick’s involuntary conscription on your behalf.
Whaling
Though the larger fish such as groupers, sturgeon, or tuna may be appealing, to a single castaway, they’re a bit much. Not only more than you need for a meal, but more than you can haul in, as well. Despite how easily these fish glide through the water, once you bring them above the surface, you feel their true weight.
After hours of hit-or-miss fishing, you manage to spear a few of the leviathans, but each time they snap your lances. One by thrashing, the other when you tried to pull it from the water once the weight sat in.
Still, you filled the sea with blood and thrashing fish, which attracted sharks. Now, not only were you left without a meal, but you had to sit atop your rock for several hours before it became safe enough to swim back to shore once again.
Looks like you’re going to bed hungry.
* * *
But it appears as if your luck may have changed, for the very next day you’re out hiking when you startle a feral pig on the island. Most likely a sow that was released by passing ships in hopes of growing a native population, she now frightens when you step near her, astounded that she didn’t hear your presence. Unwittingly, the pig dashes off a rocky outcropping, falling to her death once she’s been dashed on the rocks below. All you’ve got to do is gather her up and have a real feast.
How do you prepare a wild pig?
• Eat only the head or organs. The pig likely has parasites that it will pass on to you.
• Remove all the organs to remove risk of tainting the meat with fluids, such as that from the musk gland.
• Tie the pig to shore; soak it in your local pond overnight. This will cure the meat and remove parasites.
MAKE YOUR CHOICE
What a Dick
Spotted Dick produces a parchment, ink and quill, and instructs, “I just need full name, home address, next-o’-kin up top, then make your mark at the bottom, past all the legalese.”
“A contract, for carriage service?” you ask.
“We don’t often drive to Blenheim, is all. Just insurance and liability, ye understand.”
“Buckingham, not Blenheim—Buckinghamshire.”
“Right, right, of course. Write your address legibly, m’friend!”
Once you’ve signed, he walks with you down the port as if you’re a dignified guest of honor. “Right this way, please,” he’ll say, ushering you along. “After you, of course!”
He eventually escorts you to a dilapidated carriage, the body splintered and hastily resealed, the upholstery moth-eaten and likely ridden with bedbugs. Dick holds the door open for you, then, noticing your hesitation, adds, “She may not look like much, but old Spotted Dick passes the savings on t’you!”
Pushing you inside, he closes and locks the carriage.
“You said your friend owns this carriage?” you ask, nervously.
“What? Oh, right. That, uhh, he’s lent it out t’me. Or rather, I’m a driver for him, on occasion. Don’t worry, you’ll be home, soon enough.”
“But, my cousin!”
“Shh, shh… settle down, your cousin will join you, trust Dick on that account.”
Yet, rather than heading out into the countryside, the carriage goes into the city streets of London, only to park in front of a rather impressive-looking government building.
“Is cousin James in here?” you ask.
“He will be, you’ll see. You just shut up now.”
A redcoat soldier comes out and greets Dick with, “Mr. Martin, I’d thought ya left the press gang and turned crimp?”
“Well, ’tis a hot press, innit?” Dick replies. “Sides, I got one in here that’s already signed the papers. You pay more for those, if memory serves.”
“You truly are a bloody fear merchant,” the soldier laughs. “And what charge should I give the magistrate?”
“Idleness? This one’s a bit soft in the head, so do as you please.”
“Sounds like a perfect candidate for His Majesty’s Royal Navy.”
They both have a good laugh, then the soldier motions for another pair to come claim you from the carriage. Not much choice here:
After a night in a holding cell, await your fate before the courts in the morning.
The Whipping Boy
Hustling so as not to lose the men in the labyrinthine belly of the ship, you follow the third figure down into the hold. It’s pitch-black down here, but the first man must wield a candle or lantern, for the others follow by his light. Being the furthest one back, there’s only the ghost of lamplight to illuminate your path, but having wandered these corridors daily for the past month, you could navigate the hold with your eyes closed.
Finally, they stop and gather where they think none will overhear. They hatch their plans, as it were, tucked down amongst the chicken coop. Rediker is the leader of the bunch and—as you might have suspected—Barlow stands at his side. The third man is the older seaman, Marlowe.
“Gotta be tonight,” Rediker says.
Barlow simply nods.
“Do we have the support we need?” Marlowe asks.
“After what the Cap’n and Mate did t’that poor lad, I’d say so. Each day under this tyrant is a bloody nightmare, but today’s cruelty ’twas the last straw. If we lose any more men, we won’t be able t’steer the damned ship! Billy and Joe know this, so they won’t resist.”
This is more than idle chat; they’re plotting mutiny!
• Oh, it’s mutiny all right. And you want in! Step forward and offer to help.
• Remember the gallows at Gravesend? You know how mutineers fare. Billy will know what to do!
MAKE YOUR CHOICE
Wild West Indies
The BOOM of the pistol is frightening, even to the most experienced shooter. So, to the jaguar, it’s terrifying. Had you wasted your shot by discharging the flintlock into the air, you might have frightened off the predator by the sound. As it is, you wasted your shot by discharging the pistol into the jungle cat itself, and now the beast is angry.
Nothing quite like small-caliber arms fire to piss off a wild animal.
The jaguar now comes at you with great ferocity. The animal might not survive this wound and might starve in a couple of weeks, but you won’t survive the next few minutes.
THE END
The Wooden World
Given an axe and pointed towards the nearest forest, you join the contingent headed out to resupply the ship with timber. The Carpenter and his mate are nominally in charge here, for it’s their expertise that will instruct you just which trees to fell.
This coast is most likely French, should geography serve you correctly, and seeing as how they’re an ally of your Spanish enemies, the men have hopes of looting a farmhouse while you’re out and about. They will ultimately be disappointed, for this section of coastal forest seems devoid of Frogs.
You sweat out the night’s boozing by cracking down tree after tree, loading them onto the longboats, and performing a full day’s backbreaking work. With fresh supplies exchanged with the larger ships of the fleet, however, you’re greeted with one of the better meals you’ve had in weeks once you’re back onboard.
“We’re to set sail tomorrow,” Cousin James says when you’re in your hammock. “Cap’n oughta be giving orders for our new course, if you’re curious. Rumor has it we’re not returning to Spanish waters.”
• “I sail at the pleasure of His Majesty. I’ll not leave this hammock to trouble myself with whereto.”
• “Where else might we go? Okay, you’ve got me wondering now. Let’s go see!”
MAKE YOUR CHOICE
Worry about Your Own Neck
“The old aphorism goes, ‘Three men can keep a secret… if two are dead.’ I already took care of Bullock; now you’re up, quartermaster. Rediker, have your men give Billy a send-off via the yardarm,” you say.
Rediker smiles, signals Barlo
w towards Billy, then looks back to you. The smile disappears and his face goes slack before something akin to panic washes over him.
“Saltboots, look out!” he cries.
You turn just in time to see Robin, the hulking tattooed gunner, reach out with his two burly arms, wrapping his hands around your neck. A crack! echoes inside your skull as he breaks your neck like a twig.
THE END
THE END
It seems your seafaring life has hit the rocks and summarily sunk to the bottom of Davy Jones’s Locker. Not to worry. Unlike real life, here you get a chance to start over and try again. And now you’ve got the added bonus of restarting your High Seas adventure with part of the map already filled in!
So use the key below to open Mr. Jones’s Locker and pick up right where you left off. Remember what the last chapter was called? Click it from the following list. Don’t remember? Pay more attention next time and click here to float back up to the top and start over from the beginning.
The Accused
Acting Commander
Action Stations!
All the Moneys!
Ancient Wisdom
Appeal to Authority
Appressed
Ashamed
Axes & Allies
Barlow
BBQ
Below the Surface
A Bigger Fish
The Big Guns
Billy
Blowhard
Boarding Party
MAROONED: Will YOU Endure Treachery and Survival on the High Seas? (Click Your Poison) Page 37