by Jody Holford
During conversation over an impromptu lunch with Kate and her parents, Alex realized none of them knew Lucy would be back early the next morning. No one knew her flight times or arrangements. When they’d said good-bye to her, they figured she’d be back again or she would be in touch. Kate knew she had gone to New York to secure some items for the auction but little else. Why don’t they question her? Wonder when she’ll be back? A coping mechanism maybe? For him, it wouldn’t work. He crawled into bed early that night and texted Lucy, confirming her flight time. She said she would see him after he got home from work. Told him, she’d be fine getting herself home from the airport. She hadn’t seen reason to trouble anyone in her family with the details. Because she expected no more of them than they did of her. When she was here, she was here, and when she wasn’t, she wasn’t. But it wasn’t good enough for him. At all.
“You still don’t know you matter,” he said to himself after texting that he missed her and looked forward to seeing her the next day. She texted back smiles and hearts and then a bunch of jumbled symbols that he guessed were meant to be X-rated, making him laugh.
“But you will. You need to realize you belong. Here. With me.”
He fell asleep with that thought in his head and a smile on his face.
Lucy navigated the airport with the ease of a well-traveled person. The routine was as common to her as getting ready in the morning. Exit terminal, head to baggage, then customs if necessary, and find the cab stand. She yawned behind her hand and pulled her travel bag onto her shoulder more securely as she made her way toward the baggage claim. The air conditioning made her grateful for the dark grey, oversize, cable knit cardigan she had picked up in New York. It wasn’t frivolous if it was useful. It was early, but hundreds of travelers were milling about, rushing around as overhead pages rang out from speakers. Some people were laughing, others crying. One man was at an airline counter demanding a full refund and emphasizing his request with a slam of his fist. Two security officers moved in quickly, flanking the irate traveler on either side. Lucy side-stepped a little girl pushing a huge baggage cart, full to the brim, and smiled at the dad who gave Lucy a well-meaning shrug. She could smell coffee and pastries and wondered which one she wanted more at the moment. Both, obviously. Then she stopped short and stared. To her utter mortification, she burst into tears and covered her mouth with her hand.
Between inelegant sobs, she wiped at her face with the sleeve of her hand. Alex walked toward her, a coffee in one hand and a pastry bag in another. He looked uncertain, a half smile on his lips and his eyes bright with concern. She moved then, straight to him, ignoring the coffee and the pastry, and put her arms around his neck, almost strangling him in her need to get closer. His arms came around her, despite being occupied, and she could feel the strength of his biceps as he crushed her to him.
“Are these good tears?” he whispered into her ear. She nodded against his shoulder. She leaned back her cheeks wet, and put her palms to either side of his face.
“No one has ever met me at the airport,” she whispered fiercely. Then she sealed her mouth to his, pouring everything she felt into the kiss. He backed them out of the aisle of foot traffic, his lips never leaving hers. She came up for a second of air when she heard a thud and felt his hands on her skin, pushing under the back of her sweater and T-shirt.
“What?”
She looked down at the trash can where he’d just deposited her coffee and treat and back at him.
“Hey!”
His hands gripped her tighter before he wove one hand into her hair, tangled his fingers at her nape, and brought her mouth back to his.
“I’ll buy you more. As much as you want,” he said hoarsely against her lips.
She grinned and tightened her arms around his neck again, absorbing his heat and strength, the feel of him against her, surrounding her, comforting her and driving her crazy at the same time. She had no idea how long they kissed, devouring each other, and gave no thought to those that passed them. All she could think, feel, and see was him. It was him that pulled back finally, his hands on her face while hers were wrapped around his waist, tucked under his lightweight coat.
“Did you miss me?” she asked, no longer crying.
He gave a short, harsh laugh. “A little bit.”
She burrowed into his arms, absorbing the feel of him. Savoring the fact that he was here. His hands came to her shoulders before one hand trailed down her arm until it found her hand. He wove his fingers with hers then touched his mouth to hers, one more time. They walked toward the baggage claim, and Lucy couldn’t keep the smile from her face. Her cheeks were aching with it, and she wrapped her other hand around his arm, snuggling into his side.
“I can’t believe you met me at the airport.”
“I can’t believe no one ever has.”
The luggage was starting to drop from the conveyer belt as they approached. She looked up at him.
“I didn’t know it mattered to me. Maybe it didn’t. Until you.”
His face tightened and he looked like he wanted to say something, his eyes holding hers captive just as his hand did. Not that there was anywhere else she wanted to be. He kissed her forehead, making her close her eyes and sigh. When she opened them again, he was still watching her with an intensity that made her heart stumble and her throat dry up.
“That’s how I feel about most things when it comes to you,” he finally said. She saw her bright purple suitcase from the corner of her eye and moved to retrieve it before Alex could. She pulled the handle up and rolled it over to him. She wondered if her face showed all of the turbulent emotions swirling in her stomach and chest.
“I believe you owe me coffee and a pastry. Then I think we should head home. To your house,” she correctly quickly, her heart skipping one quick beat.
He smiled at her and once again took her hand.
“Sounds perfect. If I remember correctly, you promised me the real thing when we get there.” He grinned, tugging her through the crowd. She laughed, but in her mind, she thought, doesn’t get much more real than this. The thought, which would have terrified her months ago, made her more eager to get back to his home.
“We can grab coffee in a drive-through,” she insisted when he made to stop at a stand in the airport.
“God, I missed you,” he laughed as they both quickened their pace.
Chapter 14
Alex didn’t follow the thread of Lucy’s conversation. She was telling him about New York and, he thought about his favorite songs and how he could listen to them repeatedly. Lucy’s voice was like that for him—knowing the words was irrelevant. As he took the overpass out of the airport parking lot, he covered her hand with his and smiled in her direction.
“Have you ever been?” she asked.
“To New York? No. I’ve been back to Chicago a few times to see family, but I’m not really much of a traveler,” he replied. She smelled like vanilla and hotel soap. He wanted to yank her closer and wished he had a bench seat instead of buckets.
“I don’t think I could live there anymore. I have to say, that surprised me when I realized it,” she said, tracing her fingers over the back of his hand. Traffic was fairly light at this time of day. Shoulder checking, he merged onto the freeway and relaxed, somehow rebalanced just by her presence.
“Did you like living there?”
“As much as I liked any place, I suppose. I never really attached to one place more than another. I had friends there, so I think that made a difference. I enjoyed the freelance work I was doing. But it’s too busy now.”
He looked toward her and caught her profile as she stared through the windshield. Her hair was tied back but falling loose. He couldn’t wait to get his hands in it. Ignoring the burst of hope he felt, he teased, “Careful. You’ll end up craving a small town like Angel’s Lake.”
She looked over then and their eyes met before he put his back on the road. She leaned a little so she could rest her hand on his thigh. Hi
s hand slipped to hers.
“Somehow that doesn’t seem as terrifying as it once did,” she said so softly he thought he might have heard her wrong. He cast a fast glance and saw she was still looking at him.
“Oh yeah?” He kept his voice measured, but his heart was battering his rib cage.
“It’s got a nice view. It’s not far from major cities. There’s a Starbucks…” His lips quirked as he nodded.
“And a brand new cinema.”
“I do like movies.” She laughed.
After a bit, he pulled off to follow the sign for food and beverages. They drove in silence, their hands on each other. Alex could feel her watching him as he kept his eyes on the road. He was trying to keep all of the emotion he was feeling locked down. He’d missed her—that was all. Nothing wrong with missing the woman you were seeing when she went away for a couple of days. Just because he felt like he could breathe again didn’t mean he was in way too deep. Once he had her home, in his bed, this swirl of emotions would settle. It would go back to hovering instead of eating away at him with an intensity he hadn’t faced before. Maybe she was feeling overwhelmed, too. Maybe he wasn’t the only one drowning. He wished he knew what was going on in that gorgeous head.
“Mom, food,” she said when he pulled up to a drive-through.
Lucy hated nervous fidgeting, but it was exactly what she felt like doing. She was forcing herself to keep her hand still on Alex’s thigh. The unspoken words and obvious lust filled the cab of the truck like water slowly rising to the top of a tank. Only a little bit more and she wouldn’t be able to breathe. When Alex pulled up to the speaker, he gave their order before she could even say what she would like. As she listened to him order her two cinnamon buns, a large coffee, and a water before ordering his own apple fritters and coffee, she realized he knew her. She let people see parts of her, but never the whole. Not even family. Because if anyone saw too many of the pieces, they would see she didn’t fit, didn’t fully belong. Sure, apply a little pressure and it seemed like she could cram her way into an empty spot, but if someone looked closely enough, they’d see that she was a fraud.
He passed her both coffees wordlessly and she realized that he not only saw the pieces—he didn’t care how they fit. He passed her the bags, paid, and said, “thank you.” She tucked the coffee into the drink holders while he got them back on the highway.
What did it mean when someone saw all of the pieces and wanted you anyway? Her heart jackhammered with the realization that she knew what it meant. What it meant for him to know her coffee order, to pick her up at the airport, to be so happy to see him. How had she missed him so much? It’s only been a couple of days. That didn’t seem to matter to her heart, and the more she thought, the more she felt, and the higher the water rose, submerging her completely. Instead of panicking or feeling like she would drown, she chose to dive deeper.
“I think I’m in love with you,” she whispered. She wasn’t even sure he’d heard her, but the car stopped at a light and he stared at her. He’d definitely heard her. She refused to avoid his wide-eyed gaze or have a panic attack. Saying it felt right.
“You think?” he asked, his voice husky and low. The light turned green. Alex continued to stare at her, and she wasn’t surprised when a horn honked behind them. He accelerated and her nerves pushed harder; it was like thousands of butterflies beating against her rib cage.
“I do. I really do think I am. Maybe I shouldn’t have said it, but I… I really feel like I am, and I thought, well, if I feel it, I should say it, but maybe I shouldn’t have, not like this. Just because I thought it doesn’t mean I just have to blurt it out—”
Her increasingly hysterical babble was halted by Alex pulling off of the road and onto the shoulder. Maybe she was wrong—maybe she couldn’t swim so well after all. She certainly couldn’t breathe. He turned the car off, but she couldn’t face him. She watched the cows standing in a field, munching grass as the sun shone on their backs.
“Can you look at me?” he asked. She heard the trace of amusement in his voice, and it steeled her spine. She gave him a haughty frown to combat his teasing tone. He reached out to take her hand and asked, “Say it again.”
Lucy wasn’t sure if she could get enough air into her lungs to actually speak. It was one thing to say it while he was focused on something else. But she was done running away.
“I think I’m in love with you.”
“I am in love with you,” he replied. Her heart fell like a water balloon thrown from a tall building. When it landed, it simply burst, and emotions scattered everywhere. She bit her lip to keep from crying. God, when had she become such a crier?
“You are?” she whispered. He put his palm to her cheek and used his thumb to release her lip from her teeth.
“Yes. More than I ever thought possible.”
She smiled and her heart picked itself up, put all of its pieces back together, and drummed happily, ecstatically, against her chest.
“Say it again,” she asked, feeling inexplicably shy.
“I am in love with you, Lucy. I love you,” he replied easily, as if the words had always been waiting, right there on his tongue. She leaned forward and met his lips, which were already seeking hers, and undid her seatbelt at the same time. Wrapping her arms around him, she felt his hands grip her sides and yank her toward him. She couldn’t get close enough to him with the console between them. Kissing him, knowing that he loved her, made her want him more—need him more. Those tears she had tried to keep back tumbled. Just a couple, but she tasted them as their mouths met over and over again and he whispered the words.
“Alex,” she said, pulling back only slightly. His hands were gripping her head, holding it close to his. His breathing was ragged and hers was shallow. He tried to kiss her again, but she put her hand up between them. “Wait. I’m done thinking.”
“What?” he asked, giving a half laugh.
“I’m done thinking,” she repeated, enjoying his look of confusion. It seemed perfectly fair given the way he baffled her with his kindness, his humor, and now, his love.
“I love you. I don’t just think I do,” she finally said. He grinned down at her.
“Took you long enough,” he said against her lips.
Later, as the moon sent streaks of light through the bedroom window, Alex kissed the underside of Lucy’s jaw and breathed in the sweet smell of her soap. He pressed a kiss to her neck, adoring the way she stretched and sighed contentedly. He didn’t think he would stop smiling anytime soon. He ran his hand over the smooth curve of her waist, her soft stomach, up and over her breasts, and cupped her jaw, turning her face toward him. She smiled, shifting her body so they were face-to-face.
“I guess this means we’re going steady, huh?” she joked, pressing her lips to his. When she would have pulled back, he held her and continued kissing her, wondering if he would ever get enough. How was it possible to feel this much for one person?
“I think I still have my jacket from high school. Do you want to wear it?” he asked between teasing her lips.
“It’s getting too warm for jackets. I was thinking I would just write our initials in a heart on the side of the school,” she replied, pushing at his chest until he was on his back. He gripped her hips as she lay on top of him, looking down at him, her hair falling around her face, brushing his shoulders. She nuzzled his neck, under his jaw, then trailed her way up to his ear, placing soft, playful kisses along his skin. He had never wanted anyone like this and knew that he never would again. She shifted, purposely, making it more difficult to be playful.
“That would work. You do that, and I’ll make you a mixed CD with sappy love songs on it. You could play it over and over and drive your family nuts,” he offered.
His breath snagged when he felt her teeth graze his neck. He was done playing. Gripping her and moving swiftly, he shifted their positions so he was over her.
“That’s good. I like that one. I’ve never…” she trailed off. Ra
ising his eyebrows, he waited.
“You’ve never?”
She bit the inside of her cheek, making him curious. He leaned in and nibbled on her lip before tracing his tongue over it.
“I’ve never … gone steady or, you know… The love stuff. I might mess it up,” she mumbled, keeping her eyes on his chin. He was humbled by her admission and overwhelmed by this gift.
“You won’t. We won’t. We might not get everything right, but the love stuff will take care of itself. There’s only a couple of rules,” he told her, happy when her eyes lifted to meet his.
“Rules?”
“Mmmhmm,” he murmured, moving slowly against her, kissing her softly. “You have to say it every day.”
“Okay,” she replied, her breath accelerating slightly. “I can do that.”
“You should be naked when you say it,” he continued. She laughed, her hands moving restlessly over him.
“So now would be a good time?”
“Actually, there’s no bad time. It’s just better when you’re naked,” he told her with a wide grin. Her hands trailed down his back, making him lose his own train of thought.
“Have you … said it a lot?” she questioned, and his heart twisted at the smallness of her voice.
“I’ve said it,” he admitted. He would always be honest with her. “But I have never felt it like this for anyone. Only you. You’ve had my heart since I was twelve years old.”
Her eyes were damp as she beamed up at him.
“That doesn’t count,” she said, laughing.
“I’ve loved you for more than half of my life. That counts.”
“I said it first,” she reminded him. He laughed and closed his mouth over hers.
“That counts, too. More than you know.”
Lucy groaned a little when Alex shifted in the bed. Her arm was around his waist, and he was pushing it away.