by Jenna Aileen
“Look at me.” Abel tilted my chin up and made me look him in the eyes. “I’m not going to let anyone take you ever again alright? You understand? Never again.” He wrapped his arms around me and held me tightly until I stopped shaking. *~*~*
After that day, Abel decided to stick around for a little while longer, saying he needed a change of scenery and he liked the area. I knew the real reason was because he didn’t want to leave me. I didn’t have the heart to tell him that things were so different now that I wasn’t sure if I could ever be with him.
I was skittish around people, mostly men. That became more of a problem when my dad started having the hunter’s meetings at our house, since he wouldn’t leave me to go to work. He insisted that working from home was just as productive as driving to Philadelphia every day and doing everything at his base.
I always hated it when all of his friends and fellow hunter’s would show up, sometimes without any warning. It was always awkward for me coming downstairs to find a bunch of men chatting about ways to kill wolves and keep people safe. The room would always get a little quieter when I walked in, and I felt like I was listening in on something I shouldn’t.
Generally, I’d just locked myself in my room when my dad had people over, and listened to music. Listening to music helped to drown out the noise of loud, guffawing men that reminded me so much of my captivity.
At first, I would try to draw pictures of the places we had visited, but I was never able to complete them. Then, I would just let my mind go blank and just let my fingers work. They were hardly pictures, just different streaks of black and gray staining a once pure white page.
I had nightmares all the time. Some were about Conan, but most were about Vladimir. At night, the past came back to me in dreams. I saw Vlad and I playing as kids. Running around and using our vivid imaginations to create different worlds. It made my heart ache and my head hurt. I had such mixed feelings about Vladimir that weighed me down and made me restless.
During the day I was plagued with the worst sort of déjà vu. My dad freaked out the first time it happened and he was around. I assured him that once it passed, that I felt completely normal.
Some days were better than others…I just prayed for strength and tried to move on, not wanting to let them control me. I still saw the worried looks my dad and brother and Abel would give when they thought I wasn’t looking. I did my best to try and act normal when they were around. I tried to laugh and smile and joke around. I really just wanted to avoid the questioning for as long as possible.
*~*~*
Wanna play hide and seek?
Not it! Come catch me!
Ready or not, here I come.
What are you doing? I don’t like this.
You want to be a woman, don’t you?
I don’t know anymore.
Don’t tell anyone, they’ll just call you a slut.
*~*~* I awoke with a racing heart and labored breath. My sheets and pillow were completely soaked, making my clothes cling to my body tightly. I shivered, despite being drenched with sweat. There was no way I was going back to sleep after having a nightmare like that. I rolled over and looked at the clock. 5:32 a.m. No point in laying here for another hour or so.
Might as well get up.
I threw my sheets back and rolled out of bed. Five weeks. It had been almost five weeks since I had been rescued. The memories were still so vivid in my mind, the nightmares almost unbearable. I rubbed my arms as I walked in the bathroom, trying to make the goose bumps go away.
After relieving myself, I ran my fingers through my hair and fixed my braid. I looked so…different. It had only been two months since I had returned home, but I was still getting used to normal life.
The only thing that was really starting to come back to normal was my weight. I was much skinnier when my dad had rescued me. I was kind of glad to have my curves back. Never ever thought I’d miss them. I knew I would never be the same again. Although I hoped that time would heal some of my wounds.
I sighed and grabbed my thin cream colored sweat-jacket. Walking as quietly as possible on the creaky hardwood floor, I made my way to the kitchen and scooped some ground coffee into the coffee maker. I heard footsteps behind me as I poured the water in and had to force myself not to jump and pull away when I felt Abel’s callused hand on my shoulder.
“Morning, Kathryn,” he whispered, rubbing my shoulder with his thumb. He touched right where the bite mark was, sending tingles all down my arm.
“Morning.” I replied with a shrug and half smile. I walked over to the window and opened the blinds to reveal the beautiful snowflakes falling. The ground was completely covered in snow.
“Why are you up so early?” he asked with a yawn.
“Want some coffee?” I countered, avoiding his question. He gave me a knowing look and nodded his head. I felt like everyone knew about my nightmares even though I never mentioned them. I still hadn’t told them everything that I had endured, and no one ever really pried for too many details, except for my dad, though even he had given up on pressing me once he saw how much it upset me.
I got out two big mugs along with the cream and sugar. I knew exactly how Abel liked his coffee. My heart ached, heavy with words left unsaid. I was still in love with Abel, but I wasn't ready to trust anyone just yet. He was so patient with me. I could tell that he was hurting too. I didn't want to hurt him. I wanted to let him have all of me, body and soul.
But I couldn't let him see my scars. They were hideous.
“How did you sleep?” Abel asked.
“Not very well,” I said, rubbing my eyes. The coffee maker beeped and I poured both Abel and myself a cup of the strong, dark liquid. I added lots of cream and a little sugar to Abel’s and slid it across the counter to him.
“Thanks,” he said after taking a sip. I made my way over to one of the bar stools and sat down, leaning on my elbows before I took a sip of the hot, bitter coffee.
“Why are you up so early?” I asked.
“I couldn’t sleep either. Kathryn…”
I looked up to see a serious look in his dark eyes.
“How are you really? Be honest with me, please.”
I sat and studied his rugged features that I had missed so much while I was still the werewolves’ captive.
Dark brown stubble was growing around his strong jaw line and his eyebrows were creased together in concern. I shrugged.
“I’m doing a little better.” I stared at the warm mug in my hands, refusing to meet his eyes. It was hard to look at him for too long without feeling a pang of guilt. He grabbed my hand and gave me a soft, almost sad smile just as my dad walked in. We both turned to look at him and slowly pulled our hands away. My dad gave us a somewhat suspicious yet, knowing look.
“Morning dad,” I said. He just grunted and poured himself a cup of coffee.
“Thanks for the coffee, Kathy, baby,” My dad said after taking a sip. He drinks it black, just like I do. Or I drink it black just like he does. He’s the one that got me hooked on coffee at five years old. I wanted to be just like my daddy when I was little. I used to mimic his every move. We are very much alike and I sometimes wondered if that was because I always tried to act like him, or if it was just hardwired into my brain.
Ryan got up a few minutes later, his black hair sticking up every-which-way and his brown eyes still a bit glazed over. I was the only morning person in the family. Even when we were little, I used to be up and happy at the crack of dawn. I would drag Ryan out of bed and make him play games with me at five in the morning until our parents woke up.
“Anyone else want oatmeal?” I asked. I got a few grunts and shrugs so I cooked the whole container of oats.
“Hey, uh, dad?” I asked, once we were all sitting at the kitchen table, waiting for our oatmeal to cool.
“Raisins? You put raisins in this?” Ryan asked, wrinkling up his nose. I rolled my eyes and switched bowls with him after giving him a look of total disgust.
“H
mm?”
“Do you think I’m strong enough to try and start like, working out again? Like lifting weights and maybe running again.” The table fell silent except for the squishy sound of my brother and Abel eating their oatmeal. My dad sighed and scratched his chin.
“I don’t know dear…probably but, I’d rather you wait until I can be home with you to help you get started on a routine or something. Reeves called me last night and asked if I could come in to work again today. Just to you know, check in and I’ve got some new guys I’ve got to start training. Now that you know, we’re starting up the program again.” Ah, the famous Agent Reeves. I’d heard a lot about him lately, but I had yet to meet him.
“Alright…that’s fine I mean I don’t see why I need supervision. I don’t need a freaking babysitter—”
“I know, Kathy, but Ryan’s going to be home today just in case.”
“Actually I’ve got to go to New York, I’m going to be gone for a few days. Boone asked me to help him test out some new weapons. Abel’s coming too. Forgot to tell you, sorry.” Dad snorted.
“Alright then, guess I’m staying home.”
“Dad, really, I’ll be fine. Seriously, I don’t need a babysitter.”
“I know I just—”
“Don’t feel bad. I’ll be fine. I’ll probably just read a book or something anyway,” he sighed and nodded his head.
Abel and Ryan left a few hours later to catch their train to New York City where they'd meet Boone. Dad didn’t have to leave for work until twelve.
“Kathy baby, can you come here a minute?” he called from his room. I was lying in my room, completely lost in the book I was reading.
“Coming!” I replied, grabbing a hair tie and putting it around my wrist. My dad was standing in his closet waiting for me.
“Yeah?” I asked, a little unsure of what was going on.
“Alright, I’m a little…hesitant about leaving you here by yourself—”
“No, ya think?” I replied sarcastically. He gave me a look then continued.
“Do you still remember how to shoot?” he asked, holding up a sleek, black handgun.
“It’s been a while, but yeah…why?” I asked, looking up into his stormy gray eyes.
“Don’t answer the door. Keep this handy just in case. I don’t want to scare you, but just in case you need it, it’s right here and it’s loaded with silver bullets. Call me if you need anything. I’ll be checking up on you alright?” The concern in his eyes made me want to roll my eyes but I just nodded my head.
“I won’t be going far. You sure you’ll be alright? I can stay home if—”
“I’ll be fine, dad. I promise I'll call you if I need anything.” I wrapped my arms around him to give him a reassuring hug. He hugged be back tightly and I inhaled deeply.
That was the first time I was able to hug him since I’ve gotten back without having a little freak-out session in my mind. It felt so good. I guessed today was going to be one of the good days.
“Love you, dad.” I said, finally pulling away.
“Love you too, baby,” he said, patting my back. He grabbed his backpack and headed out into the snow. I shut and locked the door behind him and took a deep breath. It was the first time I’d been home alone since I had gotten back. So, of course, I decided to completely defy my dad’s orders and try and exercise. I decided to take it easy try to run a few miles on the treadmill.
Since I was home alone, I just wore my basketball shorts and spaghetti-strap tank top, not worried about anyone seeing my scars. I ran down to the basement and plugged the treadmill in.
I used to run all the time before I was kidnapped and I assumed it wouldn’t be too hard getting back into it.
I was so wrong. After about ten minutes, I felt like my legs were about to give out underneath me. Not to mention my burning lungs and pounding head. I didn’t know whether or not that was because I was still pretty physically weak from all my body had been put through or it was actually a hard workout. Either way I was determined to not wimp out and at least do three or four miles, even if I had to take a few breaks in between.
While I was in the middle of running at a half decent pace, I heard the doorbell ring. The sound startled me so much I tripped and almost fell face first onto the conveyor belt.
Who the heck could that be? Dad had said not to answer the door…but he never said anything about checking to see who was at the door. The first person that popped in my head was that guy that had taken me after we left the mall. No, it couldn’t be him. Besides, he wouldn’t ring the doorbell, he would just barge in.
Stop thinking about that! The last thing I you need is to have a full blown panic attack right now.
I grabbed the gun out of the side table drawer and army crawled over to the front door. I slowly pulled the curtain back just far enough to see the two strangers standing on my front porch.
They were both tall, one was blond haired and blue eyed, and the other had curly brown hair and green eyes. They were both dressed in black suits and looked somewhat important. I had no clue who they were, so I decided to back away slowly.
I made it all the way to the kitchen counter before I heard another knock on the door. I held my breath and did not move a muscle until I heard a crack as the door opened. I dove behind the counter and held the gun tightly as I heard footsteps on the hardwood floors.
“Hello? Kathryn?” I heard an unfamiliar man’s voice call. I was covered in goose-bumps from the cold fear that slowly crept through my entire body. The fact they knew my name meant nothing. Conan had known my name before he had kidnapped me. If these men were werewolves, they would already sense my presence in the room. I might as well pull the gun on them while I still could. I cocked it, stood up, and pointed it at the men.
“Hands in the air,” I commanded in a surprisingly calm voice.
The men both stared at me and slowly put their hands up.
“Who are you? And why did you break in? Don’t do anything stupid or, I swear to God, I will put a bullet right between your eyes.” That was the best threat I could come up with. I could tell by their faces that they doubted me, but after all I’d been through, I would not hesitate to shoot them if they tried to hurt me.
“Kathryn, I am Agent Reeves, and this is Agent Carlson—”
Ah, the famous Agent Reeves. “Why the heck did you break into my house?”
“Your dad asked us to check up on you.”
“Bullshit.” I pointed the gun at the floor and pulled the trigger. Both of the men jumped as I blew a hole in the hardwood floor. Dad probably wouldn’t be too happy about that but at the moment, I didn’t really care.
“Now, Kathryn—”
“Shut up! That was a warning shot. You lie to me again and the next one goes in your head.” Reeves sighed and ran a hand through his curly hair.
“Alright, we came to ask you a few questions. I promise, we didn’t come here to hurt you.”
“How do I know you’re the actual Agent Reeves? You could just be a wolf that’s lying to me.” I said.
“I have I.D. —may I?” he pointed at his front pocket. I nodded my head and he slowly pulled out his wallet and produced his I.D. It was a picture I.D. thankfully or else I wouldn’t have trusted it.
With a deep breath, I gestured with my gun for them to sit down on the couch. I still didn’t trust these guys completely, but I was curious to say the least.
Both men sat on the couch and I sat on the recliner across from them. The gun never left my hands, just in case. “Does my dad know you’re here?” I asked the men, raising an eyebrow.
“Yes.”
“You can ask your questions, but I can’t promise I’ll answer them all,” I said with a shrug.
“Is that, is that a bite mark on your shoulder?” The blond haired guy asked. My heart skipped a beat. Shit! I forgot I was dressed in only my tank top and shorts. If I tried to cover it now they’d get suspicious. I had no choice but to fess up, even though I wasn�
��t too happy about it.
“Yes, it is. But I didn’t turn, I wasn’t bitten during a full moon.”
“When did you get bitten?” Agent Blondie asked.
“While I was being held captive by them,” I replied, trying to sound casual about it even though my hands were shaking.
“Who bit you?” Reeves asked. “Do you know his name?”
“No,” I lied.
“So a random werewolf came out of nowhere and bit you for no reason.”
I shrugged noncommittally. I could tell they didn’t really believe me, but I didn’t care. I didn’t want to answer anyone’s stupid questions, especially not any stupid government agents. But on the same token, I didn’t want to get arrested or anything…I decided to answer what I could, as vaguely as possible.
“While you were a captive of the werewolves, did you share any information with them concerning your father?”
“No.”
“Are you sure? Positive?”
“Yes, I am sure. Are we almost done here, I have things to do.” I asked impatiently.
“Did Vladimir share any information with you concerning any plans of attack?”
“Now why the hell would he do that?”
“Miss McLeod would you please just answer the question?”
“No, no he didn’t share any information with me.”
“While you were still a captive of Vladimir, did he make any attempts to forcibly attain information from you, concerning your father or any other subjects related to any of the werewolf hunters?” Carlson asked, leaning forward a bit.
“Please, speak English,” I groaned, rubbing my forehead.
“Did he hurt you to make you share information?” Agent Reeves asked. Memories flooded back and I tried my hardest to keep them at bay.
“No. You know, I think it’s time you should leave, that’s quite enough questions for now,” I told them, standing up and walking towards the front door on very wobbly legs. I had to clench my fists to try and stop my hands from shaking. I could feel the weird déjà vu like flashback coming on and didn’t want to pass out or have a panic attack in front of either of these men.
“The scars on your back, are they—”