“That’s what I came to talk about.” Her voice grew stronger as her footsteps sounded nearer. She moved to Pauper’s head and stroked the gelding.
He could feel her gaze, but he didn’t let his attention waver from the animal.
“How are you feeling?”
Now he did turn to face her. Was she thinking it might be time to move on? “Fine. Much better.” He didn’t want to seem too eager, but he did feel better. Stronger than when they’d first arrived here.
Her gaze wandered to his face, seemed to read what he wasn’t saying. “I know you want to be on the trail.”
He couldn’t lie to her, but the last thing he wanted was to force her into something that frightened her. “I am feeling better, Noelle. But I said the decision is yours. We won’t go until you’re comfortable with leaving.”
Her face relaxed, softened. He couldn’t have said whether she stepped forward, or if he did, but then she was in his arms.
He cradled her, stroking her back, inhaling her sweet scent as she rested her head on his shoulder. This woman had claimed him so fully, how would he ever let her go once he delivered her to her brother?
The thought clogged his throat, and he forced it away. He’d do what he had to do when the time came.
Too soon, she straightened and pulled away, letting the chilly air rush in between them. Her gaze found his face again. “We can go whenever you’re ready. I trust you.”
Her words snuck in like a fragile honeysuckle vine, and he didn’t catch their full import for several seconds. She trusted him. As competent as this woman was, as much as she’d been forced to bear these last weeks, she was releasing control to him to make the decision he thought best for them both. A weighty responsibility. Not one he’d take lightly.
Was he ready to strike out again? To resume his full role as her guide and protector and provider? If forced into a battle of strength against a foe, could he keep her safe? Maybe.
And his memory... He was still a little fuzzy, but most things were familiar. By staying due north, he should be able to keep them on the right path.
He exhaled a long breath. “One more day. We’ll leave two mornings from now, first light.”
Her smile was all the thanks he needed.
Chapter Nineteen
Lord, take these fears from me. Please.
~ Noelle
“About eight or nine days if the snow isn’t deep.”
Noelle strained to focus on the Indian’s hands as Daniel translated the signs into English.
“When we reach the valley of the three mountains, we turn due west. The cabin will be a short ride from there.”
Excitement slid through her. A short ride. Only nine days and a short ride, then they’d reach Simeon.
Daniel glanced at her, a smile pulling at his mouth as though he could read her thoughts. Then he turned back to the Indians standing before them—Running Horse and Ituha, a few others just behind them. He raised his hand in a universal sign of farewell, and their host did the same.
A burn slid into her eyes as Ituha took both of Noelle’s hands with a solemn look.
“Thank you, friend,” Noelle said. “Thank you.”
Ituha nodded as though she understood, and it was hard to be sure, but it looked like a glimmer touched the older woman’s gaze, too.
Within minutes, she and Daniel had mounted and turned northward, Griz trotting beside the horses. They skirted the first mountain as Running Horse had directed, fighting a gusting wind all morning as they rode.
Her new buckskins were warmer by far than her dress and stockings, but even with her coat, she couldn’t shake her chill. The freezing air forced its way down her neck and up her sleeves, finding any opening she’d left unbarricaded.
When they stopped for the noon meal—rations Ituha had packed for them—Daniel eyed the sky while he ate. He was likely looking at the thick, gray clouds pressing down on them.
“Do you expect snow?” She studied him while she waited for his response.
His mouth pinched as he seemed to debate his answer. Because he wasn’t sure? Or because he didn’t want to worry her? At last he said, “Maybe tonight. I hope we can make it over the next mountain before we camp. There’s a shallow cave there that would be good shelter.”
Her heart leapt. How wonderful to be protected from the ice and snow. Surely a cave would be warmer during a snowfall than an oil cloth stretched over them.
The mountain they crossed carried them higher than they’d been in weeks, exposing a glorious view of snow-covered peaks that stretched forever. A lake nestled in the midst of a far valley, its water as green as spring grass. The entire view swept through her with an intensity that filled her chest to overflowing.
“Amazing, isn’t it.” Daniel had reined in beside her, taking in the immense beauty of the scene.
She nodded, her throat too full for words. This land had a way of weaving itself through her, capturing her senses like she’d never expected.
They pressed on, riding until dusk before they reached the area where Daniel thought the cave might be. And then they almost missed it because of a new growth of trees concealing the entrance.
Daniel’s face had grown pale, and he slumped over his grip on the saddle—a very different image than he’d presented when they set out that morning. Perhaps they should have stopped sooner, but this cave would be a blessing in the coming weather. And the smothering sky made it clear there would be much they needed protection from.
They quickly unloaded the horses, then Daniel gathered the reins to take the animals to water. She jumped to her feet, leaving the pack she’d started to open. “I’ll take them. You start the fire.”
He turned a weary gaze on her. “I can do it, Noelle.”
She placed her hand over his on the reins. “I know you can. But you’re quicker with the fire than I. And to be honest, I’m not sure I’m ready for you to disappear into the darkness with our horses again. I may never find you this time.” She’d meant the line as a joke, yet she couldn’t quite summon the lightness her tone should have held.
He seemed to be debating with himself, the line of his shoulders slumping in exhaustion. At last, he released the reins to her. “All right. Best not hobble them tonight. They’ll stay close.”
She nodded. Exactly what she’d been thinking. She’d never seen horses so attached to their master, which proved once more Daniel truly was a good man. The animals would know.
By the time the horses drank their fill and she’d settled them in a spot where grass peeked above the remnants of snow, she could no longer feel her hands, and her feet burned with the effort of walking. At least the moccasins kept them dry.
Her teeth chattered while she and Griz climbed the rocky hillside to the cave, and as soon as she entered, she dropped to her knees by the flames Daniel was feeding. The fire didn’t give off much heat yet, but hopefully it would soon.
“We’ll have warm water for you to drink.” Daniel set the snow-filled pot in the nook between two burning logs. Just looking at the icy white crystals sent another shiver through her.
Daniel stepped behind her and pressed warm hands against her upper arms, rubbing up and down to stimulate heat. If anything could warm her, it would be Daniel, although he shouldn’t worry about her when he was so exhausted.
She tugged her coat tighter around her neck and straightened, then turned to him with a smile. “Thanks. I’ll get the evening meal started now. Sit and rest a while.”
He shook his head. “I’m going out for more wood. We need a good pile so we can keep it dry.”
She had to work to keep in her sigh. Yes, with more snow coming on, they’d need wood for the night, as well as some to carry with them tomorrow so they’d have dry wood for their fire tomorrow night. “Take Griz with you.” The dog was tired, but he could help protect Daniel from unseen predators in the darkness.
As man and dog stepped out, she turned her attention to preparing food. Ituha had sent a sat
chel full of dried berries and other edibles. She wasn’t quite sure what each was, but some would be a welcome addition to their meat in a stew. Within minutes, she had the pot simmering beside the flames. The fire had begun to loosen her chill, but she needed to go back out and help gather wood.
After lining their foodstuffs along the side of the cave with the other pack, she glanced around once more to make sure all was well.
Heavy snowflakes drifted through the darkness when she stepped outside. Which way had Daniel gone? After a moment, she found his tracks, although the falling snow had almost covered them.
“Daniel?” As she followed his trail, an urgency quickened her spirit. What if he’d fallen or become too exhausted to trek back up the hill? Hopefully, he’d have enough sense to leave the wood behind.
Or, what if he happened upon a dangerous animal? Did he have his rifle with him? No matter how many times she called up the memory of him leaving the cave, she couldn’t recall whether his hands had gripped the gun.
Lord, be with Daniel. Keep him safe. When she’d almost reached the base of the hill, she called again. “Daniel?”
“Here.” His voice brought a wash of blessed relief, and she headed that direction.
He walked so silently, she saw him moving like a night shadow long before she heard him. He was hunched and holding an armful of sticks. He straightened as she approached.
“I was worried about you. Did you bring your rifle?”
“I’m well, and yes. I have it.” His deep baritone washed over her in a soothing ripple.
“Good.”
“Is something wrong? Did you see something?” He seemed to study her through the darkness.
She shook her head. “Nothing. Just a sense. Silliness, I guess.” She rested a hand on Griz’s head as he pressed against her leg. The dog knew just how to comfort.
Daniel stayed nearby while she loaded her arms with sticks and small logs. She would need to come back for more, but this was a good start.
They worked their way up the hill, her weary muscles fighting against the effort. Their long day in the saddle had taken its toll on her, same as Daniel. Soon, she could snuggle under her buffalo fur with a cup of hot stew. That reward would be worth every bit of the effort it took to accomplish these chores.
They’d almost reached the cave’s entrance when Griz growled low in his throat. Daniel jerked to a halt, his face taking on a strained look as he peered toward the cave.
She studied the bushy young trees concealing the entrance, but nothing seemed amiss. The bare patches of ground had been covered completely by new snow, which had mostly covered their earlier tracks, too. “What is it?”
“Not sure.” He eased his wood down to the ground, then stood again, holding his rifle. “Stay here, Noelle.” He motioned for the dog to follow.
Stay behind? All her instincts screamed against it. Yet Daniel had asked. Nay, practically ordered. She lowered her own armful of wood as quietly as she could, but the sticks clattered against each other as they hit the snow.
A high-pitched scream ripped through the night, sending her heart into her throat. Griz barked ferociously, drowning out everything else.
Daniel. The scream couldn’t have been his, but what had he come upon?
She sprinted forward just as a rifle blast split the air. Another squeal—almost human, but not quite.
As she rounded the shrubby trees, something scrambled just outside the cave, then darted away. Griz barked once more, then settled into a growl.
“Daniel? Where are you?” Her pulse stampeded in her throat.
His voice drifted from inside, muttering something she couldn’t understand.
“Daniel?” She crept to the cave opening and paused to let her eyes adjust to the bright interior where the firelight danced off the walls, casting eerie leaping shadows.
“I’m fine but the food’s not.” He leaned over their packs.
She stepped inside. “What was that?”
“Bobcat. Ate half our meat.”
A flurry of emotions flittered through her. Daniel was all right. Surely they could make up for the lost meat. “Did you hit it?”
“No. The thing was darting around so much, I couldn’t get a clear shot.” He looked to be repacking their food, and she stepped forward to help him.
“I can do that.” As she neared, her gaze swept the area, snagging on something odd in the fire. “No.” She ran for it, kicking the leather satchel out of the flame. “Our food.”
But the fire had already wreaked its havoc, burning more than half of the satchel. Most of the contents had poured out as the flames consumed them. She dropped to her knees beside it. “Our berries and all the treats.” Everything Ituha sent had been in this pack. Almost all of it had burned. The few remaining handfuls might be scorched, but she gathered them in her palms and tucked them in what little was left of the bag.
“I’m sorry, Noelle.”
She met Daniel’s agonized gaze.
His weary eyes held a grief they shouldn’t have to bear. “This might have been her den. I didn’t think about it when we stopped here. I should have.” His throat worked. “I should have warned you.”
Now, not only would they need to hunt in the next couple of days, they’d soon be back to only meat. Her stomach curled into a fist at the thought.
His eyes took on a glimmer. “I’ll take care of us. I’m strong enough now.”
Something about Daniel’s words, the self-sufficiency in them—the hint of desperation that seemed to gird them up—spread a picture in her mind that stung her conscience.
Sitting back on her heels, she eyed him. “You’re right, Daniel, you’ve recovered much of your strength. But for this journey ahead of us”—she motioned vaguely toward the unknown wilderness—“you’re not strong enough. I’m not strong enough. Only God can fix this. He is the only One who can take us safely. You and I are merely the tools He uses for His plan.”
He held her gaze, and she didn’t dare breathe. Had she angered him? She’d never made such a bold proclamation of faith, but all the civil trappings had been stripped away. This was the test of her faith, the time to stand firm for the God she’d always said she trusted for her safety.
Finally, Daniel nodded, then stood. “I’ll bring in the wood we dropped.”
She let out a long breath as he walked away. He didn’t look angry. Thank you, Lord.
When Daniel came in with an armload, she asked, “Do you think she’ll come back? You think this is her home?”
He dropped the stack with a clatter. “I think we scared her off. She ate a good bit of our meat so she won’t be hungry.”
After bringing in the rest of the wood, he retrieved her pistol from their supplies. “Stay here and use this if anything else comes. I’ll be sure to call out long before I reach the cave, so don’t shoot me.”
He was going alone? Should she let him? He turned to go, and panic pressed on her chest. “Daniel?”
Pausing, he eased back around.
She stood, her mouth opened to bid him stay. But she couldn’t do it. She shouldn’t stop him. This was her own insecurity churning up unnecessary worry. Where was the faith she’d spoken of only moments before?
Daniel straightened, then stepped toward her with long purposeful strides. He placed two fingers under her chin, lifting her face so she had no choice but to look into those intense eyes. In truth, every part of her wanted to lose herself in him.
“I can do this, Noelle. Use the gun if you need it, and I’ll be back soon.” His gaze seemed to drill all the way to her soul. “I will be back. I promise.”
Then he leaned in and pressed a kiss to her lips. Not the deep, passionate kisses he’d give before. This one had strength. Determination.
He pulled back and, with one final look, turned and walked into the darkness.
Chapter Twenty
This softening in my heart opens me to the pain I’ve always feared. What if I’m no different than before?
~ Daniel
Daniel was true to his word.
Noelle eased out a breath as he stepped back into the cave just as she finished repacking the slim remains of their food supplies. After he settled the new logs with the others, he sank down before the fire, and she handed him a cup of stew. He sent her what was probably supposed to be a smile, yet his face sagged with weariness.
She touched his shoulder. “Eat, then rest.”
He nodded, his face hovering over the mug as though even eating was too hard. Or maybe he was trying to soak in the heat. She almost offered to feed him, but he probably wouldn’t accept the suggestion. And it would be improper unless absolutely necessary.
Daniel succumbed to sleep soon after the meal, but as she snuggled under her blankets and furs, she couldn’t help but listen for the patter of giant cat paws. Daniel said the bobcat wouldn’t be hungry enough to risk returning while they were here, but what if the animal didn’t hear them? The fire obviously wasn’t enough to keep the beast away.
Her gaze landed on the gun she’d placed beside her. At least she’d have protection.
WHEN MORNING LIGHT pierced Noelle’s awareness, she had to force her grainy eyelids open. It didn’t seem possible a new day could have come already. She had no idea when she’d finally drifted to sleep, but it seemed less than an hour before.
Keeping a fur wrap tugged over her shoulders, she sat up to get a better look around. Outside the cave, snow stacked at least a foot off the ground with more flakes falling. Craggy lines of blue sky showed between patches of gray clouds, so perhaps they’d see sunshine yet today.
She pulled her gaze back inside the cave, blinking against the light spotting her vision from the brightness outside. Their fire had been reduced to only a few glowing coals, which meant she’d slept longer than she thought. Daniel still lay on his pallet on the other side of the circle, his eyes open and watching her.
Heat crept up her neck under his scrutiny. How long had he been studying her? She raised a hand to brush down the wispy strands that always pulled loose from her braid. He must be awfully tired of seeing her every day, in all manner of disarray. “I’m sorry you have to see me at my worst so often.”
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