by Sabrina Kade
“That was amazing, Ari,” Drozass says softly in my ear. “You are amazing. You know this, yes?” I nod, wordlessly. “Do you want me to… as the humans say, return the favor? That was my intent, but the moment you fell to your knees, I forgot everything except the feel of your mouth on my cock.” He reaches forward and cups my mound underneath my skirt, lazily toying with my folds and the curls covering them.
“I don’t need anything.” I try to keep my voice even, but of course, I’m failing miserably. Only moments after making him come, Drozass is back to his usual, cocky self. The self that completely overwhelms me. “That was good enough for me.”
“I don’t believe you, Ari.”
“Yeah, well. No one is asking you to.” He pushes a finger through my pussy, making my entire body arch into his. My eyes close, and a needy moan escapes me.
“You didn’t even use your teeth,” he says in a gentle reminder. “I should thank you properly for that.”
“Who’s to say I won’t later?” I’m trying to sound strong, but Drozass’ fingers feel so good. One is an invasion. Two are welcome. Three are delightfully overwhelming. I moan once more.
“I do.” He thrusts deeply until he bottoms out inside me. I can’t take much more. I’m all but bucking like a wild animal in heat, and Drozass remains as calm as ever. My plan to make him vulnerable might have worked, but the results were only temporary. “Do you enjoy this, Ari? Me filling your delicious, hot cunt with my fingers?” I nod, and he wiggles his fingers inside me. “I want to hear you say it.”
“Drozass, please—”
“Say you like it, Ari. Say you want more.”
“I want more,” I gasp, wrapping an arm around his neck to give myself some leverage. And some feeling of control. I feel like I’m about to come undone, but Drozass is relentless.
“Good,” he hisses, barely able to control himself. Deep within him, I know there’s a monster lurking. A freak who wants to let go of all his inhibitions, but just like me, is afraid. I know he’s scared of me never loving him back the way he loves me. Well, he has nothing to worry about.
Because I swear, I think I’ve been in love with him since we first met.
I hear the sounds of my juices sliding against Drozass’ fingers, the invasion only getting more persistent and wilder. A low growl erupts from my throat with each ministration, and I love seeing this more primal side of him. I curl my hand around his short hair, enjoying the silkiness of it, and pull his face down to mine so we can share a kiss. I want this. I couldn’t stop Drozass if I wanted to, and I know he wouldn’t allow it anyway. He knows how badly I want this. Want him. And as though things couldn’t get any more intense, he searches out my clit with the pad of his thumb and presses down on it before swirling. Press and swirl. Again, and again, until I completely lose control. I come all over his fingers, and though I wish I could have held on longer, I don’t feel any shame about what we’ve done.
I’m gasping when Drozass finally stops invading the sensitive area between my thighs and pulls away, sucking my juices off his fingers. A groan comes from his throat, and I can’t believe I’m nearly scandalized by it. This is nothing new. Nothing different. I’ve been with others, and I’m sure others have been with Drozass. But I’m still shocked by how much I enjoyed this. How new and different it feels. I don’t feel ashamed. Alaska and Kansas are the last things on my mind. I only see the vast alien hands resting on my thighs and feeling his steady beating hearts behind my head. I dare to lean back into him.
“Did that please you?” he asks in a low voice.
I dare to smirk. “One could say that.”
“Then, I am happy. We could do this more, Ari. It wouldn’t have to only be about pleasure.”
“Pleasure is all it can be about.” And just like that, I’ve shattered the moment and stand quickly, putting my hands on my hips. I’m sure I’m not intimidating; Drozass sitting on the bed and me standing, puts us close to the same height. “Drozass. I enjoyed what we did and believe me; I don’t mind continuing to do it. But that’s all it can be. Just pleasure.”
He hisses under his breath. “I want more than that.”
“I know.”
“You want more, too.”
“Drozass…” I step away, trying to keep my spine straight and my resolve unbreakable. “It doesn’t matter what I want, okay? Whether I feel something for you or not, doesn’t matter, anyway. I can’t throw that all away and pretend that everything will be all right if I Choose you.”
His golden eyes widen. “You think about Choosing me?”
“I told you, even if I did. It wouldn’t matter. I wouldn’t be able to stay here.” I turn around, waving my arms. “I’m under contract. No one can afford to buy it out. I’m worth too much.”
“Prince Korben said if we wanted to keep a mate, he would find a way.”
“That may work for other females. But not me. I’m too good at what I do. I’m too valuable.” I shrug. “Besides, I don’t think I could deal with the guilt—”
The words stop in my throat as he shoots up from the bed out of the corner of my eye and spins me around to face him. His cock bobs against my stomach but doesn’t feel sexual. He’s staring down as though he’s trying to look through me. He won’t find anything. He can never find out about Washington. The true reason why I can’t take a mate. I need Drozass to believe it’s about my family. Or my age. Anything about my present, but the past needs to be left alone.
“What do you feel guilty about?”
“Drozass, please. You know.”
“I know the words you say,” he hisses, curling a hand through my hair in a possessive group. “But there are things you are not telling me. I don’t like it. Even the other females will not share.”
My eyes widen. “You’re trying to get my family members to speak about me behind my back?” Betrayal washes over like a cold ocean wave. “What are you asking them? Fuck, Drozass. What do you need to know? I told you already, didn’t I?”
“Yes. The age. Keeping your family together and wanting to work. I don’t believe any of it. There is something else. Something you are not telling me, yes?” He leans down closer. “There is another factor. One you will not speak of, but one that is more important to you than all the others, yes? Tell me this is the truth.”
I swallow hard. “There is something else.” I want to lie to him, but for some reason, my body rebels, thinking it knows better than my damn brain.
“But you will not tell me?” I shake my head. “Why are you afraid? You think it would change my perception of you?”
“It would.”
“I don’t believe it. Ari, no matter what you have done, you can share it with me. Whatever wrong you have done in your past, that is where it can remain if you wish it so. Let me show you that I will not judge. Let me show that I will not care.” His eyes bore into mine as he leans ever closer, practically brushing his lips against mine. “I am different from the males in your past.”
“Please,” I croak, hating that my eyes are starting to water. “I don’t want to talk about it.” I pinch them shut, fighting away the images of Washington being taken away from me that night. The frantic feeling in my chest as I tried to find out what I could do to save her from the hunt. I was prepared to do anything.
Anything except what they proposed.
I shake my head, blinking, and Drozass is still there, waiting patiently.
My mind reels for the briefest of moments as we stand there in silence. I could give him a chance. Maybe he’s right. Maybe I should give him a chance to prove he’s different than other males. And that way, when he learns of my past, and rejects me, at least I can say I tried.
But what then? If he rejects me and this assignment does last another year, or two, or even a decade a more, how will I live? Drozass will remain here. So will I. But he’ll never look at me the way he’s looking at me right now. He thinks I’m a challenge because I think I’m too old for him. Because I want to remain
single for my friends. I’m also dedicated to my family. All of that would change if he knew what happened on Sidetha. How I betrayed Washington.
I can’t tell him.
Backing out of his arms, I’m shocked when Drozass doesn’t pull me back to him. His arms fall back slowly at his sides, and he watches me as I back out of his room as though preparing for him to spring
But he doesn’t.
I leave the room. He doesn’t follow.
What the fuck am I doing?
Chapter Six
Drozass
There is something Arizona is not sharing with me. The reaction on her face was enough to let me know it is something significant. Something she is not prepared to share. Something she will hold on to with all her might. But why? It is in the past, and I have told the female repeatedly that what happened in her past does not bother me. I swear, the more she holds on to the secret, the more curious I grow. Even the other females who hang around her will not speak to me about it. They are afraid of her. And though I am momentarily pleased to hear that Arizona has surrounded herself with trustworthy females, I wish she would realize I can be just as reliable.
Arizona allows me between her legs, but she will not let me into her past. Or into her heart.
Angrily, I sigh, rolling over in bed, and hoping to calm my nerves, but of course, Arizona is back and snoring softly. This is her home on Hethdiss, so I cannot be too upset, but I still wish she would use me for more than occasional pleasure and a warm bed. Laying on my side, I prop my chin up with my palm and stare down as she continues to sleep.
She is beautiful, my female. Her skin is light brown, always with a sheen of sweat despite insisting that she sleep with a cover on herself. Her arms are toned, and her stomach is flat and lined with muscle. Ari is not soft like Dolan’s mate, but she is also not overly slim like Exer’s. My female is perfection.
I sniff the air around her, hoping to find a trace of arousal, but her dark eyebrows are pushing together as though thinking about something unpleasant. I want nothing more than to take those horrible thoughts away, and though I know it is wrong, my need for her is too strong, and I slip my hand under the sheets, seeking out her cunt and cupping it softly. She stiffens at my touch but does not wriggle away. Her face relaxes slightly. I dare to smile.
“You are so beautiful.” I lean down to kiss her softly on the forehead. Her skin is smooth and sweaty but smells marvelous. I can’t help sniffing her hair, enjoying every part of Ari. I wish she were mine officially. I wish she would speak to me about whatever bothers her about her past. If the others do not speak of it, it must be bad. But what could she have done? I know she isn’t a virgin. She wasn’t when we first met.
Absently, I play with the curls covering her slit, and slowly, the scent of the air changes. The heady, earthy scent of her arousal perfumes the air, and she stirs, slowly blinking her eyes. When she realizes what I am doing, I expect her to snap up, but she merely remains relaxed under my touch.
“Whatever happened to asking permission?” Her voice is still drowsy with sleep, but a lazy smile crosses her full, pink lips. “Did I say anything in my sleep?”
I shake my head. “If you did, I assume it was not pleasant.”
Her expression shifts, and she wiggles under the covers. “Why do you say that?”
“Your brows were pinched together.” I pull my hand away from her pussy so I can tap her gently where there are a few wrinkles above her dark eyebrows. “Were you having unpleasant thoughts?”
Her eyes dart away from mine. “I don’t remember.”
“I don’t believe you, Ari.”
“Then, does it matter what I say to you?”
I resist hissing. Does it matter? Of course, it matters. I do not want her to feel as though she must lie to me. But as I’m about to start arguing, her expression shifts to something more sexual. She looks to distract me. And as much as I want to argue with her, I love when she sits up in bed and situates herself between my legs. She fits perfectly. Like she belongs her. My cock immediately hardens, and I groan from the sensation of her pussy lips brushing against the crown. “You are trying to distract me,” I somehow manage to gasp out. “It is not going to work.”
She cocks a single eyebrow at me. “Isn’t it? What were we talking about?” I’m about to answer when she slides herself around the length of my cock, and my entire body bucks. She breaks out into a careful grin. “Don’t tell me you forgot already.”
I frown and grip her hips, securing her in place. She gasps in surprise, and she does not like how I resist her. But let me be clear, I am barely hanging on. “You were having unpleasant thoughts while you slept,” I growl, fighting every urge in my body to allow Arizona to have her way with me. As it is, I can barely focus, especially when I see her hooking her fingers under the hem of her top. She’s looking to remove it. Immediately, I grab both her hands and pull them away. “Tell me what you were thinking about.”
She rolls her eyes, pouting slightly. “I told you, I don’t remember.”
“You do.”
“You’re hard,” she whispers, pushing her lower lip out further. Goddess, she’s inviting me to kiss her when she pushes her mouth out like that. “Let me take care of you. Then we’ll talk.”
I shake my head. “No. I don’t believe you.”
“Drozass,” she all but moans, leaning closer, and I feel my defenses falling. Got to be strong. I must be strong. Have to resist this female. But I cannot. Not when her mouth captures mine with a possessive kiss, swirling her tongue. I thrust my hips, pushing the crown of my cock toward her glorious ass, but she isn’t having any of that. At least not yet. She’s distracting me, and we’re not even fucking. This female is a worthy opponent. A strong competitor. I swear, she wouldn’t give up a secret under the worst torture. But she could get anyone to say anything with the way she’s behaving now. Human or not, she’s beyond sexy. She’s sex. Without the sex, somehow.
Her hand circles around the length of my cock, beginning with low, teasing strokes, and it feels so good I start losing track of why we were arguing. If I say her past does not matter, do I have any real reason to know it? Knowing or not, it still would not matter. Unable to help myself, I capture her face with my palms to deepen the kiss, clanking my fangs against her dull, flat teeth. She tastes so good, and with her stroking me, it doesn’t take long before the need to come builds. I love her taste. I love her touch. I love her, but I want to enjoy all of her. Not just pleasure. Not only her hand on my cock or her mouth capturing mine.
Do secrets from her past matter? Of course, they do. They matter because they are part of her, and I want her to feel comfortable sharing all parts of herself.
I pull my hands away from her face and push away from her kiss. Startled, her hand stops stroking my cock, but maybe that’s all for the best. She wouldn’t view my orgasm as pleasure. She’d see it as a triumph. Over me. She thinks males can be distracted with cock sucking and pleasure? Fine. But not this male. No matter how close she brought me to an orgasm, I cannot let her know. Besides, I enjoy the look of shock on her face. I ended her touch. I finished the kiss. Me. She needs to learn that I am not like other males.
“What are you doing?” she says, trying to reach for me, but I seize her wrist.
“No.”
She blinks. Once. Twice. I swear her heart rate picks up. I’ve shocked her. I’m sure this is a female who is rarely surprised and hates when it happens. But here she is. Dumbfounded.
“No?” she repeats as a question.
“No.” I release her wrist, and she clutches it close to her chest. “I know you are trying to distract me—”
“What’s a better distraction than a hand job…” she trails off, looking to grab me, but I have her wrist back in my grip.
“I don’t like it,” I hiss. “You know, many of the females here did not initially trust us Sidyths because of our reputation. They said we think females are weak. We think females are impulsive. They need
to be tamed. We did not like it. I think your behavior is no better than some of the worst males back on my homeworld.”
She yanks her hand free. “Excuse me?”
“You think I am weak. You think I am impulsive. You think you can train me to leave your past alone by putting your mouth or hand on my cock. I refuse. I am not like the other males you have known, and I will prove it.”
Her frown deeps. “You’re not going to let me give you a hand job because I won’t tell you about a dream I had? A dream I can’t remember? Are you fucking kidding me right now?”
“You know it’s about more than the dream. It’s about things you will not tell me. Secrets of your past. Things you want to keep hidden from me.”
“They’re my past. My business. I don’t have to tell you anything.”
“No,” I say, shrugging. “You don’t. But I still want you to feel comfortable telling me.”
“Dammit, Drozass.” She wilts. “You can’t be serious. Why can’t you let it go?”
“Because I know it’s the reason you think we can’t be together.”
“I already told you plenty of reasons why we can’t be together. You’re an alien. You’re younger than me. I’m on assignment. The contract doesn’t say anything about mates and babies. Do you think I want to bring a child into a world where my existence is constantly on the edge of a cliff? Ready to fall into the darkness? You think I want to have a child only to worry about losing him every single damn day for the rest of my life?” She slaps her palm against her chest and thank the Goddess; it’s still covered. “Do you want me to feel like that, Drozass? Afraid that any happiness I find could be ripped away at any given moment?”