Josie tried to nod, but the movement turned into a twitch instead. “Serious enough that I just moved onto the property. That’s my fifth wheel parked on the other side of the dairy barn.”
The man lifted a hand to stroke his scruffy jaw, the only part of him that bore any resemblance to Seth. “Oh yeah? Well, you know what? That’s good to hear. Really good to hear. Maybe Seth has finally decided to grow up and plant some roots.”
“Doubtful,” Seth’s brother snickered. He spat once more. “Nice to finally meet you, though, Josie.”
“Same.” Josie paused.
“Name’s Tanner. And this is Dad, otherwise known as Mitch.”
“Glad to finally put a couple faces to the names. Seth’s talked about you both a lot over the years.”
“Wish I could say the same, but as you know, Seth’s a private man,” Mitch said. Josie could sense the insult meant to come across in that statement. “You know what? I say it’s time we change that. How about you come over for dinner at the main house tonight? We’ll cook up some steaks. Throw them on the grill. Crack open a bottle of wine and celebrate Seth finally becoming a man.”
Like the lie grew wings and took off with her in its clutches, Josie clung to her story and held on tight. “Seth’s actually taking me out tonight, but I’d love a rain check.”
“This Thursday, then.”
Thursday. Not a lot of time, but hopefully enough to fill Seth in on the outrageous tale, grovel, and then ask his forgiveness, which she knew she didn’t deserve. Josie had plans to borrow his truck that afternoon, but maybe she should use it to hook her trailer up and get the heck out of Dodge. Even though she hadn’t been at the ranch a full day, she feared she’d already overstayed her welcome.
7
Seth
“I’ve got something I need to get off my chest.”
Seth drug his napkin over his lips and then crumpled it in his fist before dropping it onto the wood planked picnic table. Josie sat across from him, but had yet to make eye contact during their lunch. He’d tried, but she diverted her gaze each time his eyes attempted to latch onto hers, evading connection at every turn like a politician dodging a question. “You don’t actually like turkey sandwiches, do you?”
“No.” Josie lowered her sandwich to the brown paper wrapper and filled her lungs with a sharp breath. “No. It’s not that. The sandwich is fine. Good, actually. Really good.” She shoved her hair from her eyes and looked around like she expected someone to sneak up on her. She took another rallying breath. “I met your dad and brother while you were at the store.”
“I’m sorry.” Seth had to chuckle. They weren’t all bad, but they were definitely cut from a different cloth than Seth, a cloth which lacked manners, respect and decorum when it came to the opposite sex. He hoped they hadn’t said or done anything too offensive in his absence. “I should’ve warned you they were coming back into town early. I thought I’d get back before they did. That’s on me.”
“That’s not the issue at all. It’s just…It’s just, they might be under the impression I’m someone else.”
“Like they got you confused with somebody?” Seth chewed slowly, Josie’s words a speed bump. She wasn’t the sort of woman easily confused with others. She was altogether unique in an intriguing and downright unforgettable way.
“Like I confused them into thinking I’m someone I’m not.” She stared at her clenched hands when she added, “I might’ve led them to believe I was Bridgette.”
“Oh.” Seth flinched. “Okay. How’d that come about?”
“They were saying some pretty rude things about you, Seth.” Her gaze finally lifted to his, impaling him with an intensity that nearly gave him heartburn. He coughed a little to clear his throat. “They didn’t know I was here, but I overheard them, and I couldn’t let them talk about you like that. I had to put a stop to it somehow.”
“Should’ve just let them say what they needed to say. It’s nothing new, Josie. I’m used to it. I’ve been dealing with their disapproval my entire life.”
“But it wasn’t right. So I went up to them to let them know what I’d heard and one thing led to another and now they think we’ve been dating…for a few years.” Her entire face was cloaked in apology from her doe-wide eyes to her scrunched mouth that pulled tight in apprehension, like she anticipated the worst reaction Seth could dole out. Readied for the strike of his chastising words. “I’m so sorry, Seth. I plan to come clean with them as soon as we’re done with lunch, but I figured you should know how things transpired first.”
“You don’t have to apologize. It’s really not a big deal. To be honest, I’m surprised they even knew who Bridgette was to begin with. I didn’t talk about her all that much back when we were dating.”
“In fairness, they didn’t, really. Tanner couldn’t remember her name, just that you two dated and that she worked with animals.”
“And you work with animals.”
“Yeah, that was kind of how it all started. To be totally transparent, I might have kept it going longer than it needed to. The lie snowballed, but I’m the one who pushed it down the mountain.”
Seth paused, taking a moment to absorb the situation. “Is there a reason why you kept it going?”
Josie’s shoulders lifted to her ears. “I don’t know. Their whole demeanor changed when I said we’d been dating for a while. And when I told them we’d taken the next step—that I’d moved onto the property—something shifted in your dad. Said something about you finally becoming a man. Putting down roots. Showing responsibility. I don’t know. Maybe he even seemed a little proud.”
Of course, a secure relationship would change the way his father viewed him. Tanner had married young—right out of high school—just like their mom and dad had back in their day. His grandparents were wed even younger, though no one talked about their exact ages which led Seth to believe there might’ve been a bit of scandal associated with it, considering his grandfather had been a great deal older than Gramm.
And then there was Seth, nearing thirty without any real marriage prospects, or interest in tying the knot, for that matter. There were many reasons for his father’s disapproval, but this was the hump he could never get over. “A good woman will keep you grounded, honest, and well-fed. Can’t imagine why you wouldn’t want that, Son. You’d be a fool not to.”
It wasn’t that Seth didn’t want companionship—someone to share his life with. Of course, he did. But marriage wasn’t a business arrangement, even though he had a hunch that settling down would greatly improve his odds of securing his place in the family’s business. He often wondered how one thing had anything to do with the other, but his father was the boss. Marriage was practically a job requirement.
Seth grabbed the paper cup full of soda and brought the straw to his lips. The carbonation bubbled in his mouth and he forced a swallow to gulp it down.
“I’ll make this right,” Josie insisted. Her sandwich sat half-eaten on the wrapper with a fly buzzing around it. She swatted her hand to shoo it away. “And I’ll make sure I’m off your property by sundown.”
Seth choked. “No, that’s not necessary, Josie. You don’t have to leave—”
“But I do. I haven’t even been here one day and I’ve already managed to mess everything up. I’m beginning to think I’m a bit of a liability.”
“You haven’t messed anything up. Honestly, by the sounds of it, you might’ve made things better. As crazy as that may be.”
“I don’t know about that.” She released a breath that sounded a little like a groan. “You’ve done so much for me already, Seth. I owe you big time. And I think the best favor I can give is to get completely out of your hair.”
“No favors, Josie. I don’t work like that.”
“But I do owe you one, whether you think so or not. A monumental one after this mess I’ve created.”
It occurred to Seth that Josie wasn’t going to let up. It wasn’t her nature. But it wasn’t his to expec
t anything in return for offering her a temporary job and place to live. He’d learned long ago that if you expected to be rewarded for the good you put into the world, then everything got canceled out. You just had to go with your gut and do what you thought was best in each situation you faced in life. No strings attached. No expectations to be met.
He knew it wasn’t best to let Josie leave quite yet, no matter how hard she pushed. It wasn’t best for the horses. It wasn’t best for her bank account. And it wasn’t best for Seth.
“You’re not going anywhere and that’s not up for negotiation.”
Shocked into silence, Josie’s mouth clamped shut, whatever words she had readied dying before they met her lips.
“And if you really insist on returning the favor—”
“I absolutely do,” she interrupted.
“Then maybe hold off on coming clean with my dad and Tanner just yet.”
Josie pulled a stunned expression. It only lasted a few seconds before she wiped it clean from her face and marshaled her composure. “Okay. I can do that.”
“We don’t have to act like a real couple or anything. I obviously don’t expect that. But I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t just a little curious about my father’s reaction. We can stage a break up by the weekend, but maybe for the next few days, we could play along?”
“I told your father we’d attend a BBQ on Thursday. We could stage the breakup there? He had asked if we could come over tonight, but I told him we already had plans.”
“Oh really? That’s good because I actually do have plans.” Seth grinned mischievously. “And now it sounds like you do, too.”
“B-36!”
A wave of mutters rolled across the sterile multi-purpose room like the disapproval at a comedy club after a bad one-liner. Linoleum the color of oatmeal and walls in a similar, muted shade made for a bleak atmosphere, but Seth knew this was the highlight of the week for the mass of people congregating within the depressing space, even if their groans and grumbles didn’t convey it.
“Give us something to work with, would you?” Gus spat. His dobber shook in his trembling hand and he waved it at Seth in the same manner he used his cane to put others in their place. “Maybe have that girl of yours call out the numbers. Doubt she could do a worse job.”
Seth settled the white ball onto the rack and gave the Bingo cage another wild spin. “You want to read this one?” He turned to Josie and handed her the most recent ball to roll down the chute.
“Sure.” She turned it over in her palm. “N-12!”
“That’s more like it!” Gus happily blotted his card with the marker. “Just like that. Keep ‘em coming.”
“Tough crowd,” Josie murmured.
“You have no idea. Gus over there always seems to find something to grumble about. Even a basket of free cookies.”
“I can’t imagine I’d be all too cheerful if I had to live here. Makes my trailer look like a palace.” Josie took another ball. “G-5!”
Seth cranked the handle again. The balls jumped and bounced within the cage like popcorn on a stovetop. “Last time I was here, I told Gramm I’d figure out a way to get her out. Even if it’s just for an afternoon.” He passed off another Bingo ball. “A change of scenery is long overdue.”
“N-11!” Josie hollered. “What about arranging a little trip out to the ranch for some equine therapy?”
“You think the horses are ready for that?”
“In a few days, sure. I remember back when my grandma started losing her memory due to dementia, the only thing that could pull her out was the familiarity of a horse. Those animals have such a calming nature about them. Just being in their presence is often enough to soothe even the most burdened of souls.”
“And you think a set of wild mustangs will have the same effect?”
“I think they will have an even greater effect. They’re untamed. Free. Something the folks shuttered in this place likely haven’t experienced in years…I-45! I-45!”
“Bingo!” Berta burst from her chair, flapping her card in a celebration. After confirming her numbers and gifting Berta her prize of a dozen freshly-baked sugar cookies, Seth returned to the front of the room to help Josie call out a new game.
The evening passed quickly, much faster than the times Seth had volunteered as a Bingo caller at the retirement home on his own. Maintaining a side conversation kept the night moving along at a steady pace.
He liked the idea of bringing Gramm and her friends out to the ranch and they hatched a plan to make it happen, sooner than later. When he broached the subject with his grandmother, a light sparked in her eyes that cast away all the weary and troubled dimness previously inhabiting them. If Seth had told her she’d won the lottery, her joy couldn’t be any greater.
“Back at the ranch,” she’d said wistfully. “Never thought I’d live to see the day.”
Those words haunted Seth on the drive home. Gramm hadn’t been out to the house in years, but it wasn’t as though they had locked her away and thrown out the key. Had they?
“You okay?” Josie glanced across the cab.
The clocks had changed the week before, and while it was only eight o’clock, the darkened skies and the stars already making their debuts made it feel closer to midnight. Jet black swathed the country hills, the only available light the two beams from Seth’s headlights that pierced the skies in funnels of white. Streetlamps didn’t exist out on these no-name roads. Every man was responsible for lighting his own path.
Seth always liked this time of year when nightfall came early. He was an early riser and appreciated the extra hours of sunlight reserved for the break of day and the productivity that coupled with it. But tonight, the darkness produced a melancholy he wasn’t accustomed to. He couldn’t shake the feeling that things weren’t right with Gramm. He just didn’t know what to do about that.
“Seth?” Josie prodded.
“Yeah?” He turned his head to look at her, surprised by the concern that buckled her brow. “Oh. I’m fine.”
“You’ve been quiet.”
“Just been thinking. That’s all.”
“Anything I can help with?” She tugged at her seatbelt strap to loosen it enough so she could angle in her seat to face him fully. “Anything you want to talk about?”
“I know we’re doing this whole fake relationship thing, but you’re not obligated to listen to my problems, Josie. That’s not in the contract.” He chuckled under his breath. They hadn’t made a contract, of course, but the thought of fake relationship guidelines was one that made him laugh. “Not that there’s a contract,” he added for good measure.
“I’m not asking as a pretend girlfriend. I’m asking as someone who has spent the entire evening with you and watched your whole demeanor shift within the span of one car ride.”
“I’m just mulling over something my grandma said. Something that caught me off guard. That’s all.”
Josie seemed appeased by that as she didn’t push the conversation into deeper territory. Rather, she surprised him with a total one-eighty when she said, “As your fake girlfriend, are there any things I should know about you? Things that girlfriends would know? If we’re going to pull this off, I want to at least put in a valiant effort.”
What was there to know? He was a cowboy. Youngest son in a family of California born cattle ranchers. Hobbyist baker, but she already knew that. Seth thought on those three descriptors but sensed they weren’t what she was after. He wasn’t good at summing himself up, mostly because he was still trying to figure himself out. And that was the whole problem, it seemed. His brother and father—they knew exactly who they were. Their days looked the same, sunup to sundown and back around again. Month after month. Year after year. Sure, there was some inevitable variation when dealing with livestock, but all in all, their lives as ranchers were marked out—start to finish—just like every other rancher on their family tree.
Seth wasn’t sure he wanted that.
“Nothing?�
� Josie challenged.
“What kind of stuff do you want to know?”
“Are you happy?”
His body went rigid. “Happy?”
“Yeah, are you happy? Happy with your life at the ranch? Happy with your place in the family business? Happy with the way your dad and brother think of you?”
Seth’s grip tightened on the steering wheel. “It’s not like I can do anything to change the way they think of me, Josie. Our family is…complicated.”
“I understand that more than you could possibly know.” Josie’s gaze circled the cab, then hung on the road ahead, on the few narrow feet illuminated by the headlights of Seth’s truck.
His words struck some chord here, but rather than pluck them again to see if he could elicit an even greater response, he chose to leave it be. The blinker clicked out its indicating metronome. He didn’t need it—there was no one else on this barren stretch of dirt—but out of habit he flipped the lever.
“We’re here,” he said, an announcement even more unnecessary than the blinker. “Sorry tonight was a little weird. I’m just kind of off today.”
Seth hadn’t wanted to admit his father’s words had pierced him in the way they did. Straight through his heart, right next to the other holes created each time Mitch expressed his disappointment. Seth had a lifetime’s worth of them, as punctured as a bullet-riddled tin can used for target practice. A grown man shouldn’t put that much stock in their father’s opinion. But sometimes, it seemed like that was all Seth was worth.
His paycheck came out of his father’s account. The deed to the very walls he rested his head within were in someone else’s name. And when he looked to his future, he saw a flimsy replica of his father’s, his grandfather’s, his great-grandfather’s.
He felt like he wanted more, but wasn’t even sure what that more could be or what it could possibly look like.
Take the Reins (A Cowboy's Promise Book 2) Page 5