by LP Lovell
It rings twice before it cuts off. “Anna.”
“Rafael,” I choke out his name like it’s a prayer, my last hope—because of course, it is. “I need you.”
There’s a beat of silence. “I’m sending a plane for you.”
74
Rafael
I pace the width of the hangar nervously as I watch the plane taxi towards us. Anna sounded like she’s in trouble. She called me. She has her sister. She has Nero. But she called me. Why?
The plane maneuvers into the hangar and comes to a halt. As soon as the steps touch the floor, Anna descends them and walks to me, her pace quickening with every stride. And then she throws her arms around my neck. I drag her small body up against me and hold her, inhaling the subtle raspberry scent of her shampoo. Her shoulders tremble, and I feel the rush of her exhaled breath against my throat.
“Avecita.”
“I’m sorry,” she breathes.
Lowering her to the ground, I cup her face in both hands and wipe the tears from beneath her eyes. “Talk to me. What’s wrong?”
She closes her eyes, and more tears break free. “I have a daughter.”
Everything freezes for a moment, and I swear my heart stops beating. “What?” A fresh wave of tears comes as her face crumples. “Anna, I need you to be clear here.”
“The Russians…they stole one of my eggs…”
Turning slightly, I wave at Lucas, and he pulls the car forward the few feet to get to us. Opening the back door, I guide Anna inside. As soon as I get in, she’s shifting closer to me. She’s fragile, unstable.
“So, they bred a child from your egg? That’s fucked up.”
She sniffs. “Una and Nero won’t save her.”
“They probably can’t, little warrior.”
She drops her chin to her chest, her shoulders slumping. “I need your help, Rafe.” When she lifts her eyes to mine, she looks so completely lost.
She left. I let her leave. Twice. And yet here she is, asking me for help. And here I am, wanting to give it to her, because despite everything, I love her, and I think I’d give her anything.
“Anna, I don’t know how much I can do.”
She nods solemnly, but she looks so fucking broken. More broken than when I first found her. “I understand.”
Placing a finger under her chin, I force her gaze to mine. “But I’ll try, baby.”
A sad smile pulling at her lips as wave after wave of uncontrollable tears pours down her face. “I love you.”
I press my forehead to hers and sigh. “I wish I could stop loving you, avecita.” I was stupid to think that I ever could, because as much as I want to save her from herself, I would love her in any form.
“Please don’t.” Her hand slides around the back of my neck, and fuck if she doesn’t always feel so inevitable to me. I’d give her the damn world if I could, just to see her smile. Everything feels so fucking dark without her, and I wonder how I ever found joy in anything before she walked into my life.
She presses her lips to mine, and I can feel how fragile she is right now.
“I’m sorry I pushed you away. I can’t watch you become like Una, like me. You’re so much better than us.” If she weren’t, she wouldn’t have given Bella her number. She wouldn’t be so heartbroken for a child she hasn’t carried and doesn’t know.
She drops her face to my throat, clinging to me as though I’m the only jutting rock in a stormy sea.
“You’re the best person I know, Rafe.” It’s a lie, but for her, I want to be.
Placing the cigar to my lips, I light it, welcoming the smoke as it infects my lungs. I remember when this simple routine was as regular to me as breathing—me smoking a cigar whilst watching Anna sleep. Her chest rises and falls with deep, even breathes. I had to slip something in her brandy earlier to get her to sleep, or she’d still be pacing my office now. Even in the low silvery light cast by the moon, I can see the dark circles lingering beneath her eyes.
I tell myself I can let her go, that I can live without her, but I can’t. I hate watching her turn from something pure and good into something vicious and vengeful, but truthfully, there’s nothing about Anna that I could really turn away from. And I’m selfish enough to bring her light into my darkness, to keep her love. I let her go twice, and her crying in my arms, running to me for help affirmed the fact that I can’t do it a third time. It might be wrong and morally fucked up, but a bad man can only try so hard to be good. She brings out both sides of me in equal measure.
When I’m done with my cigar, I toss it over the edge of the balcony, strip out of my clothes, and slip into the bed beside her. She instantly reaches for me in sleep, the same way she always has, like gravity. Her tiny frame melts against me, and I wrap an arm around her, wishing I could protect her from whatever is to come, but I can’t. What comes next is not a physical threat, but an emotional one. What if I can’t free her child? Una never should have told her without having a way to get the baby out. Because if we can’t… Anna is already hanging by a thread at this news. I know my little warrior is going to break in ways that I can’t fix.
75
Anna
I wake up, and for a few seconds, there’s nothing but the feel of the warm sun on my bare skin. A few seconds of bliss before I remember everything. Rolling over, I stretch my arm over the cool sheets. The pillow still smells of Rafael, of citrus and cigar smoke.
Dragging myself out of bed, I make my way downstairs. I step into the kitchen, and for a second, I falter. A woman stands at the stove, making eggs, her long dark hair spilling down her back. I think I expected to see the neat greying bun of Maria, and her absence feels all the more tragic in this particular house.
Samuel is sitting on one side of the table, and Rafael on the other. They both look up at me when I walk in, and I pull my long cardigan around me a little tighter.
“Anna.” Rafael folds his newspaper and places it down on the kitchen table.
The girl whirls around to face me and I’m met with the pretty green eyes of Bella. Despite everything, I smile. “Bella. You’re here.”
I glance at Rafael, and he pushes to his feet, fastening the button on his jacket in one smooth motion.
He moves closer and brushes his lips over my jaw. “Well, you gave her a phone,” he whispers. “I figured you liked her.”
“Thank you.”
My stupid heart squeezes at the normalcy of this, of how at home I feel here. With him.
He cups my cheek and kisses my forehead before he goes to leave the room.
“Where are you going?” I ask, taking in the suit he only ever wears for meetings.
“I’ve organized a meeting with Dimitri Petrov, he’s Nicholai Ivanov’s replacement.”
“That was fast.” His lips kick up in a smirk that says ‘I’m Rafael D’Cruze and the world will bow before me’. “I…thank you. I know we’re—"
“Avecita, stop.” His fingers trail my cheek gently. “There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you.”
“I don’t deserve you.”
“You’re wrong. You deserve everything, including your child.” I sniff back tears and press my face to his chest. His large palm cradles the back of my head, and in his arms I feel as though everything will be okay.
“I should come with you.”
“No. You’re too emotionally involved. They see that, and they’ve got us pinned against the wall.”
“Of course, I’m emotionally involved. They stole my eggs, Rafe!”
“I know, but that doesn’t matter now. She does. Your daughter.”
His words settle over me, words I can’t quite take in. I have a daughter. A living, breathing child.
“I have to go. I’ll be back tomorrow, okay?” I nod, and he turns away.
“Be careful.”
He throws a wink over his shoulder and walks away. I know he can handle himself, but I hate the idea of him being at risk. For me. Again. I’d happily never set foot in Russia or near any
of the bratva ever again, and I don’t want Rafael near them either, yet here we are. I have no better cause, and yet I’m not the one taking it up, he is.
Bella places a plate of food in front of me the second I sit down.
“You don’t have to make me food, Bella.”
She smiles. “That’s my job.”
“I know, but…”
“And I’m grateful for it. I know that Rafael is helping me because of you.”
“He needed a new maid. Those guys need a woman to keep an eye on them.”
“I heard…about Maria.”
I suck in a sharp breath. “Yeah, when I first came here I was a mess. I was alone and convinced that they’d bought me. You know how it is, another man, another master…”
She nods.
“Maria was kind to me, even though I didn’t trust her.”
“She sounds nice.”
“She was. Anyway, how have the guys been treating you?”
“Good. I don’t see Rafael much, but Samuel has been kind to me.”
I lift a brow. “Samuel? Kind?”
A small smile touches her lips. “Yeah. He keeps the men away from me.”
“Okay, well…good.” Maybe it’s just me that Samuel doesn’t like. “What are you doing now?”
“I was just going to tidy some of the rooms.”
“I’ll help you.” I need the distraction, to be honest. Rafael won’t even reach Russia until tonight, and he’s not meeting Dimitri until tomorrow.
So I help Bella. I vacuum carpets while she polishes and dusts, and there’s something strangely soothing in the mundane tasks. When we’re done, I take her out into the gardens.
“Have you been out here?” I ask.
“No.” She pads along behind me, her sandals brushing over the emerald green grass.
“It’s prettier at night.”
“How can it be prettier when you can’t see it?”
“The stars.”
She says nothing more as she follows me through the gardens to the pond. I take a seat on the low wall that surrounds the water, and she joins me, glancing out over the tranquility.
“It’s beautiful.”
“When I first came here, I wouldn’t leave my room. I thought their promises of freedom were a trick.” I smile when I remember how little I trusted Rafael. “So, Rafael ordered me to leave my room. I would come out here every night when it was quiet.” I look at her, and she drops her gaze.
“You were in the Sinaloa too?”
“For six years, yes.”
“You were taken?”
“No, I was sold to them. From another owner.”
Her eyes flick over me. “But…you’re so young.”
“I was first sold when I was thirteen.”
Her face pales. “I’m sorry.”
“You were taken?”
“Yes, from a nightclub in my hometown in Chile.”
“We all have our stories. None of them pretty.”
She nods towards the gun strapped to my thigh. “Yours is very different now.”
I follow her gaze to the weapon that Rafael gave me all those months ago. “It is, and yours will be too.”
“I hope so.” She trails her fingers through the water. “What will happen to the other women?”
“They’ll be looked after,” I promise. “Rafael would never let anything happen to them.”
“Because of you. He saves them for you. He told me.”
“No. He’s a good man. He would do it anyway.”
“Well, thank you, anyway.”
“Don’t you want to go home, Bella?”
She inhales a deep breath, her shoulders rising and falling with the action. “I do, but they’ll never understand.”
“I get it.” Una would understand to a degree, but not truly. What would it be like to go home to a normal family? I can barely recall a time when I ever had one, so I wouldn’t know, but I can see why that might be daunting. To live your old life, when you’ve been so fundamentally changed. Once you’ve lived in the darkness, the light can be disorientating.
“One day you’ll wake up and realize that you aren’t that scared girl anymore.” I did. Maybe I can help her the way Rafe helped me. I hope so.
76
Rafael
Dimitri Patrov is young, maybe early thirties, but as his eyes narrow at me, there’s a shrewdness in them. He’s like a self appointed king up here in his Moscow penthouse office.
“Rafael D’Cruze,” he says, placing the papers down on the desk in front of him. “Your call was…unexpected.” He drags a hand over his neatly combed dark hair and straightens his already straight tie.
“Not entirely, surely?”
He gestures for me to take a seat. I do and Sam shifts, placing his back to the wall behind me. Dimitri pays him no attention. “I had heard that Anna Ivanov was firmly in Nero Verdi’s care.” He taps his bottom lip with his index finger. “His call was expected. As is a possible visit from Una Ivanov.” He grins.
“Vasiliev,” I correct. “Her name is Una Vasiliev.”
“I’m surprised she hasn’t come back for the child yet.”
“So you could capture her?”
“I wouldn’t dream of aggravating the Italian.”
“Wise. I’m hoping you show me some of that deference.”
He leans forward, propping his elbows on the table and steepling his fingers in front of him. “Well, you’ve requested a meeting, and I’d like to think we could…do business.”
Business? We’re talking about a child, but I know that to him it is nothing more than a commodity, a weapon—a soldier.
“I want the child,” I say.
He smiles like he’s already won. “And what are you offering in return?”
“Cocaine? Guns? Money? Take your pick.”
“Tsk, tsk. I can get such things anywhere, Mr. D’Cruze.”
“If you were not willing to trade anything, then why invite me here?”
“I didn’t say I was not willing to trade anything. You do have one thing I need.”
“Oh?”
His eyes light up with this feral kind of hankering. “Women.”
“Women?”
“Nicholai lacked finesse. You see, he got too attached to his assassins. But, through his madness, he was onto something. To breed a child, to train them from birth with the sole purpose of being a killer… Imagine the soldiers you could produce.” I swallow back bile. “In order to breed children, I need women who can bear them.” He might be even more insane than Nicholai.
“I don’t deal in women.”
He tilts his head to the side. “But you have some, don’t you?” I say nothing, trying to keep my expression smooth. “I hear you have…procured the Sinaloa stock.”
My fists clench, and my jaw aches as I grind my teeth together. “I freed them. They’re not for sale.”
“Then the child is not for sale.” He pushes to his feet in one smooth motion.
“I’ll give you one million for her. You could buy women.”
He braces his palms on the table. “Ah, how frivolous your morality is. You won’t give me these women, but would allow me to buy others. Why? So your conscience can remain a little clearer?” He tilts his head in that animalistic way. “No. It’s her, isn’t it? Your precious Anna.” If he says her name again, I might have to kill him right here.
“How many?” I ask.
The smug grin that covers his face is like a shot of fire in my veins and I have to temper my rage. “I see you are coming to your senses.”
“No, I simply need all the facts.”
“Twenty should do it.”
I stand up, fastening the button of my jacket. “I’ll consider your offer and get back to you.”
“Tick tock.” Turning away, I walk out of the room to the sound of his laughter. He’s definitely crazier than Nicholai, and that’s saying something.
As soon as we’re in the lift, Samuel speaks. “You aren’
t trading them.” I say nothing because I don’t know what to tell him. I can’t make a decision on this. Anna needs to. If I know her like I think I do, then Anna would never trade those women, not even for her own child.
By the time we land back in Juarez, it’s late, and it’s not until the early hours that we pull up in front of the house. Everything is quiet. Only the men on guard remain awake.
As I reach the top of the stairs, I hear a scream from the end of the hall. I stride down the corridor push my bedroom door open. Anna writhes on the bed as another scream slips from her lips.
“Avecita.” I move to the bed and stroke her hair away from her sweat-drenched face. She drags in a shuddering breath, her eyes flying open as her fingers grip onto my shirt. “Shh, it’s okay.”
Her chest rises and falls on panting breaths. “Rafe?”
“Another nightmare?”
She sits up and drags both hands through her hair. “What happened with Dimitri Petrov?”
“Let’s talk about it in the morning.”
She sits up straighter. “Rafael?”
“I need time to think on it before I talk to you, avecita.” I kiss her forehead. “Just have a little patience.”
Her eyes lock with mine, and I can see the frustration in them, but I also know the heartbreak that Dimitri’s deal will cause her. I want to put that off for as long as possible. At least until the morning.
Standing up, I strip out of my clothes and get into the bed with her. I tug her down against my chest. “Come on. Sleep.”
“Rafe…”
“Just a few hours, little warrior. Just give me a few hours where the world isn’t crashing down around us.”
She exhales a shaky breath and settles down against me. “Okay,” she whispers. And even though I know she wants to argue because she needs to know whether or not I managed to get her child for her, she falls into silence. She gives me these precious few hours to just hold her.