Turn on the light and see the good instead.
I grabbed my phone and opened up the #BFFs thread.
Rey: What are you guys up to today? :)
Right away, Harper and Ella started typing a message back. And it wasn’t long Lena and Tori hopped on too.
Four sources of light.
“Is this too much?” I asked my mom as I checked myself out in the mirror.
My mom stood a few feet away, admiring me. “Not at all. You look adorable, sweetheart,” she said, grinning. Her eyes shined with tears, and she covered her mouth with her hand, the pitch of her voice immediately going high. “I can’t believe my baby is graduating.”
“Mom,” I groaned. “Don’t worry. You’ve got a couple more babies to get emotional about after me. Remember?”
She laughed. “That’s right. But you’re my little girl. I just can’t believe how grown up you are. You look like a college student already.”
Her words had me looking in the mirror again. Was she right? My stomach turned at the thought.
I was in a new dress and black boot-like heels for senior pictures later. Seniors were supposed to be meeting at school in an hour, and I was wondering if I’d gone too far with my hair, makeup, and outfit.
Did I still look like myself?
I’d gotten some highlights in my hair yesterday, and today I’d styled it in glossy waves that reached my neck. It was longer in the front than in the back, framing my face. After donning a pixie for a long time, I’d been ready to grow my hair out just a little.
Meanwhile, my dress had a shoulder cutout and hugged my body loosely, with a tie around the waist.
“Maybe I should try on something else,” I muttered.
“I think you look divine,” mom said. “Just ask your friends. They’ll tell you.”
After several more minutes of just staring in the mirror but too frozen with fear to try on anything besides the outfit I’d bought specifically for these pictures, I made it downstairs.
Tori and the #BFFs were supposed to be picking me up any minute, and I didn’t want to keep them waiting. Maybe I could channel Lena during pictures and own this outfit.
I slung my purse over my shoulder and decided to wait outside. When I opened the front door, Wes was coming up the porch steps.
No surprise there. It was Saturday, which probably meant an afternoon of video games with Hugo.
But I hadn’t really thought of looking like this in front of him.
Suddenly, I wanted to disappear, but there was no escape. He was right there.
His gaze stopped on me immediately.
“Hey,” I said, looking away.
He climbed the steps and stood in front of me. “Rey,” he said. “You look…great.”
The way his face lit up as he said that had me feeling like a million bucks. And grinning like I’d just won that amount of money.
I clutched my purse with my hands for something to do. “Thanks,” I breathed. “Senior pictures.”
He nodded. “You excited to graduate?”
I shrugged. “I guess.”
“Believe me,” he said. “College is way better than high school. You’ll love it.”
“You’ve got Hugo with you, though,” I said. “I’m pretty sure my friends and I are all going to different schools.”
“Oh,” he said. “That sucks. But I’m sure—”
Just then, Tori pulled into my driveway, honking on the horn and waving. The rest of the #BFFs were with her.
I glanced back at Wes. “I should go,” I said. “Bye,” I called, going down the steps and praying to the universe that I didn’t end up falling on my face in front of Wes.
“See ya,” he said. “And good luck.”
With that, he stepped inside the house, and I turned back to Tori and the #BFFs. Tori rolled down her window as I approached the car. “Who was that?” she asked with a huge smile on her face.
Lena smiled mischievously. “Wasn’t that the infamous Wes?” she said. “I recognize him from the Christmas Eve party.”
Harper and Ella smiled, and they all waited for me to say something.
I glanced away. “Yes, that’s him.”
Tori turned back in his direction, but of course, he was gone. “One of these days you need to tell him how you feel, Rey. I wouldn’t be surprised if he felt the same way. I saw the way he looked at you just now.” She winked, and I finally got in the car.
“I don’t think so,” I said. “We hardly talk.”
I left out the part about Wes reading my Harry Potter book. If that ever really turned into something, I’d tell the #BFFs, but for now, there was nothing much to tell.
Plus, would he finish reading the book? It was almost like a test, and I was hoping he’d pass with flying colors. Having another Potterhead in my life and having it be Wes…
Ella’s gaze swept down my outfit to my shoes. “Rey, you look amazing!”
I grinned. “Really?” I said, looking down at my shoes. “It’s not too much?”
She swept my hair out of my eyes. “Definitely not too much. You look perfect.”
Lena looked back at us. “Those senior boys are going to wish they’d paid a little more attention to you.”
“I don’t think so,” I replied. “It’s still me under here, and I think you guys already nabbed the 2% of high school boys who are actually nice.”
That had Lena laughing. “That’s probably true.”
No, I definitely wasn’t interested in anyone in school.
Not while Wes was around.
Seven
One fun thing about being a senior was having a free period after lunch.
Most seniors used the time to take a nap in their cars or catch up on homework. A lot of them just goofed around in the gym with the ongoing physical education classes.
But my favorite thing to do was hang out in the school library.
Sometimes I did homework, but mostly, I worked on my blog, read a book, or doodled in my journals.
I knew Ella also had a free period at the same time, and she joined me in the library too, but what I really liked about her was that she focused on studying and just let me be.
It was like she understood that I needed the silent time to recharge and just get lost in my own brain.
So after lunch, we walked together, but then she headed to a table on the far side with one last smile while I picked out an isolated corner near the bookshelves.
I set my stuff down on the empty table in front of me, including my laptop and latest journal. I had a science study guide I needed to work on for a big test tomorrow, but other than that, I wanted to make sure I got to journal or read.
It was my happy time.
I started with the study guide, finishing it quickly and putting it away.
Then I remembered what else I had stashed away in my book bag.
My extra copy of Sorceror’s Stone.
I’d started rereading it last night, getting to chapter three before my eyes had started closing on their own. Just last week, Wes had been on page 47, and wanted to catch up and read it along with him.
Maybe he’d message me again. If so, I wanted to be ready to talk to him about where he was at in the story. Just the thought of finally having someone to geek out over Harry Potter with, even if that someone was nowhere near my level of enthusiasm, would be awesome beyond belief.
Finally, someone who knew what a Muggle was! Who I could send Harry Potter memes to (levi-OH-sah, not levi-oh-SAH!) and maybe even have pretend duels with.
Okay, Wes would probably never ever be the kind of person to buy a Harry Potter wand, learn the spells, and cast them my way for fun, but a girl could dream, right?
Anyway, I’d happily settle for someone who just knew the books and would watch the movies with me.
I sighed dreamily at the thought of all of that coming true and opened my book, looking for my bookmark.
I was using my latest favorite for this book, one featuring a
portrait of Emily Dickinson. Setting it aside, I began reading on page 49, sure that Wes had to be farther along than the Keeper of the Keys chapter by now.
But more than that, I itched to dive back into the JK’s world of magic. When I got to the part about Harry being sorted and being at Hogwarts the first time, I wondered what Wes thought about it.
And then I wondered which Hogwarts house Wes would be sorted into.
Obviously, I was a Ravenclaw. But Wes?
Then across the library, Ella got up from her table and left, probably to go to the bathroom, and I wondered what she was. Ravenclaw? Maybe even a Gryffindor? She was a tough one. Then I thought of Harper. She had to be a straight up Hufflepuff. Lena, with her determination around soccer and her fearlessness? Probably Slytherin or Gryffindor. And Tori…probably the same.
But Wes I didn’t know nearly as well, as much as I’d always been around him. He was always sweet and kind. My bet was that he was a Hufflepuff, but maybe there was more to him than what I knew.
I picked up my phone and opened up our very short message thread.
I exhaled, wondering if I was brave enough to shoot him a message. He probably didn’t know enough about the different houses to know which one he’d fall in to, but I really wanted to know if he’d been reading any more of the book.
Slowly, I began typing.
Rey: Guess what? :)
I waited for his status to say he was online, but nothing changed.
I set my phone aside, realizing he was probably in class and unable to answer.
Picking up my book again, I went back to reading, but it was hard to focus. I kept wondering if Wes would reply.
Maybe he’d look at the message and just not say anything. Maybe he’d stopped reading altogether, and he wished he’d never brought up the book with me.
He’d have an excuse ready. I could already see it. And I would have gotten my hopes up for nothing.
A buzz from my phone broke the spiral of negative thoughts in my head.
I could not believe how quickly my brain spun out of control when it came to Wes. Taking a deep breath and reminding myself that they were all just fear-induced thoughts, I picked up my phone to read the new message.
Wes: What? :)
I smiled, glancing up to make sure the librarian was still shelving books and not looking my way.
Rey: I started reading Sorceror’s Stone last night. I’m on page 52.
Wes typed back, and I suddenly wondered if I should have said something else. He probably didn’t care—
Wes: How do you read so fast?? I’m on page 63, but at that rate, you’ll finish way before me. No spoilers. Got it? :)
Rey: Well, it probably helps that I have a free period and I’m not being crushed under expensive college textbooks like you :)
I could have also said that I definitely read more than I watched TV, but that sounded pretty lame so I left it out.
Rey: Also, reading before bed is my thang.
Wes: You can’t really read before bed when you’ve got to pull an all-nighter for a killer chem test the next morning…
He sent over a nervous smile emoji, and that had me giggling.
Rey: But you’re liking the book, though? BE HONEST.
I sent over a line of relevant emojis for good measure.
Wes: I actually do :) Honest. When I was a kid, sometimes my dad would read aloud Lord of the Rings or Ender’s Game until I fell asleep. He liked the classics. HP feels like that.
Rey: HP is definitely a classic <3
Rey: Just wait until you finish this book. I’m telling you. The rest of the series is even better. There is so much you don’t know… Haha.
Wes: So you’re a pretty hardcore fan, huh? :)
Rey: Yeah, I guess you could say that. Lol.
Wes: What have I gotten myself into? Lol. Did you never succeed in getting the rest of your family to read the books?
Rey: No. They’re dorks.
Wes sent over a laughing emoji. Then he said…
Wes: Btw, I’m laughing with you, not at you. I agree. They’re dorks.
It felt like we were tiptoeing way too close to the topic of Hugo.
I wasn’t sure what my brother would think exactly if he found out Wes and I were messaging. I knew there was nothing going on between us, but I felt guilty all the same.
Rey: So it gonna take you like a year to finish the book? ;)
Wes: I really hope not. Lol.
Wes: But I think it’s cool that you decided to read the book too.
Rey: BOOK CLUB!
Wes sent a blank expression emoji, which had me giggling. Was I seriously being this big of a nerd right now with him? And would it keep me firmly in the best friend’s little sister zone?
Then I thought: if he was messaging me at all, did it mean I was out of that zone??
Suddenly, I felt like I was in a fog and I couldn’t think straight. I just knew that I was having a blast with Wes.
And I didn’t want it to end.
Rey: I challenge you :) 1 chapter a day. I’m betting, though, that by the middle of the book, you’re going to be wanting to read double that or more ;)
Wes sent over a thinking emoji, and I waited for him to decide if he would take me up on my challenge.
I bit my lip, really hoping he would say yes because there was NOTHING in the world I wanted more than to read Harry Potter along with the boy next door.
Forget the star football player and every other handsome jock. I wanted a guy who was just as geeky as me.
Preferably with glasses, but…
Another message came in.
Wes: I’M IN.
Wes: I’m probably gonna regret this with midterms coming up but whatever.
Rey: LOL.
And that’s how, for the first time ever, I was ready to break the #1 rule of the library and scream my lungs out.
I pulled the sleeves of my hoodie over my hands and brought them to my mouth, letting out a very small, mostly stifled squeak.
Surely not enough to get anyone’s attention.
Wrong.
Ella glanced at me on the way back to her table, shooting me a questioning look.
Then the librarian at the front desk caught my attention.
Was it me, or did she always have that glare on?
Eight
#TurningTheBoyNextDoorIntoAPotterhead
That was the title of my latest blog post.
After starting it at the library—and being shushed by the librarian—I’d set out to document everything that was happening between Wes and me.
Or rather, our awesome new book club.
This is what I loved about journaling and blogging. I’d always have my words to read again and experience later.
It was easy to forget all the cool things that happened to you. Even the bad.
But writing it down as it was happening, or even right after, was one of my favorite things to do. I had journals going back to third grade, and just like that, I could go back to the eight year old version of myself.
Or the sixth grade version and realizing I like liked Wes.
The memories would always be right there. Unforgotten.
I wanted to document Wes and me reading Sorceror’s Stone on my blog.
I read over what I had so far.
Maybe he’ll never be mine, but if I can turn the boy next door into a Potterhead, that’ll be way more than I ever could have hoped for.
It all started with a day like any other.
Coming over, asking for my brother, waiting.
Harry Potter was on the TV (and the book sat on the couch beside me).
Was it fate that had me handing over my copy of Sorceror’s Stone and telling him to give it a try? Was it fate that had him put it inside his book bag and take it with him? And open up to the first page later?
I have no idea.
But for the first time ever, we’re talking. He’s reading. I’m reading with him.
I thought
there was nothing I loved more in the world than Harry Potter, but this? Reading my favorite series ever with the boy who unknowingly stole my heart?
Move over, Jane Austen. Do I have a story for you.
I’m sure this is all in my head, though.
I’m still his best friend’s little sister. Like he could ever see me as anything besides that.
But getting to be his friend? Watching him fall in love with Harry Potter (even if he doesn’t fall in love with me?). More than I ever thought was possible.
The words made me smile, making my stomach erupt with butterflies.
Just the thought of being around Wes more and becoming friends…
I knew that we’d never be as close as he was to Hugo. Hugo was the whole reason Wes was even in my life. If they’d never become friends, he’d just be the boy next door I crushed on from afar.
Maybe my crush never would have developed.
Who knew, but I was nervous and excited for what could happen with us now.
Even though part of me said to not get my hopes up, not think this was more than what it was, I wanted to lock that part of me up in the back of my mind and not think about it.
Right now, I just wanted to be happy that Wes and I were talking and maybe finally had something non-Hugo related in common.
A girl could dream.
Nothing wrong with dreaming, right?
Mrs. Moreau came down the hallway, practically skipping and definitely dancing.
The #BFFs and I giggled, covering our hands as we got a good look at her.
Lena laughed. “Never a boring day with Ms. Moreau.”
There were only one hundred days of school left so naturally our school counselor had deemed it appropriate to wear a custom printed t-shirt of herself holding a big 100 with a VERY enthusiastic grin on her face.
Whoever had Photo-shopped it had actually done a pretty decent job.
She also wore knee-high rainbow stockings with black leggings and a black tu-tu and to top it all off: giant glasses in the shape of the number one hundred.
Of course.
What was she carrying? Was that a boombox? The loud music reached us before she did.
#BreakingTheRules Page 4