by Jill Sanders
She may not like people, but that didn’t mean she wanted them hurting or worse. Seeing Darla in the hospital bed today had reminded her why she’d chosen the DEA in the first place.
“Do you think that your mother knows something’s up?” she asked.
“Why do you ask?” He finished off his cereal and set the empty bowl aside.
She shrugged. “Just something she said to me the other day.”
“What?” He pulled a couple of sofa pillows down on the floor with them and leaned against them.
“Well, she was talking about Tom’s job, how hard it was on him. That he was ready to retire soon so they could spend all of their days together. Then she mentioned how impressed she was that you’d chosen the work you did.”
His eyes narrowed and she set her bowl aside with his. Moving down, she lay beside him, enjoying the warmth of the room and his body next to hers. “Tom could have said something to her.”
“If he did, my mother is really good at keeping secrets.”
“Still, don’t you think she should hear it from you? Especially if we’re going to start the next phase.”
He pulled her closer and she willingly went into his arms. “Yeah, I’ll stop by her place this week.”
They lay in silence for a while, listening to the fire crackle as more snow fell outside the windows. His hand traced slow circles in the middle of her back, relaxing her even further.
“Move in with me,” he said, breaking the silence.
Leaning up, she looked down at him. “We’re pretty much living together now.” She motioned around them.
He shook his head. “When we go back.”
She tensed. “I thought we’d discussed—”
“Screw it. We both know we can’t do a job like this forever. One of us could quit or work a desk job…” He shifted until they were eye to eye. “How many close calls have we had just in the past six months?”
She thought about all the times she’d almost been killed. Still, it was part of the job. Drug dealers and suppliers usually fought to keep their way of life, not caring who got in their way.
“What do you suggest we do for a living?” She didn’t know anything else. There wasn’t anything in life that she was as passionate about. At least nothing she had come across yet.
“Whatever we decide, we’ll do it together.” He took her hand in his.
She felt the instant need to pull away. Here he was, talking about the future, something she never did with men. Or anyone for that matter.
“Brian,” she started, but his phone chimed across the room.
She could tell that he’d seen the fear in her eyes because instead of ignoring the call, he got up and answered it.
As she listened to him fill in their boss, she thought about her life. She was tired of pulling away but knew that self-preservation wouldn’t allow her to continue things with Brian after they returned home. She needed this job. It was the only thing stable in her life.
She’d just have to figure out how to avoid the topic until they left.
“Everything okay?” she asked, shifting to let him back beside her.
“Yeah. Just had to fill Carter in on a few things.” He reached up and brushed her dark hair away from her face. “Where were we?”
Instead of answering, she lifted up and straddled his hips. Her hair fell around them as she kissed his lips and ran a trail of kisses down his neck. Pulling off his T-shirt, she allowed her fingertips to run over his tattoos, down his perfect six-pack until she unsnapped his jeans.
“Right here,” she said against his skin. “We were right here.” She took him into her mouth. His fingers dug into her hair and a groan escaped him as she enjoyed the length and feel of him.
She didn’t know what she was going to do in the future, but she was certain about her desire to be with him right now.
She doubted that desire would dissipate when they returned to Helena, or ever. She just needed to figure out how to survive if he tossed her aside. Because if she’d learned one thing in life it was that everyone always left her. The only difference was, this time, she didn’t think she’d be able to recover.
Chapter 14
Over the next few days, they started implementing their plan. In the grocery store, they argued over small things. What kind of bread to buy, how much money they were spending, basic things that everyday couples fought over.
Each time they were alone, Mia chuckled about it, reassuring him that it was all part of the act. She was damn good at it. So good that several times he’d been speechless while she berated him about his life.
They even had a fight at the Dancing Moose in front of some of the McGowans. They’d gone into the Spot together, and Mia had sat in the corner, acting ignored and bored while he’d hung out with Nick and a few other guys. Of course, they had planned that one out in detail.
He’d avoided stopping by his mother’s place to talk to her, but when he’d stumbled across her at the gas station, he figured it was past time.
“How are you and Mia doing?” she asked. Worry filled her eyes.
“We’re good,” he answered, looking around.
“It’s just…” His mom sighed. “I’d heard you two were having problems.”
He sighed. “Why don’t I follow you back to your place so you can make me lunch?” He smiled. “We can talk.”
“Oh, okay,” she said while he finished putting gas into the rental car.
He followed her back home and sent off a text to Mia.
-Stopped at my mom’s place for the talk and a PB&J.
Her reply was quick.
-Tell her hi from me and I hope she understands
-Will do
Tucking his phone in his pocket, he jogged up the cleared sidewalk. Stomping the snow from his boots, he stepped into his mother’s place.
“Are you and Mia okay?” she said, not even allowing him to remove his jacket. “I like that girl; you need to start treating her better if you plan on keeping her around.”
He smiled. “Ma, let’s sit down.” He pulled off his coat and hung it up, then took her shoulders and nudged her into the living room. Sitting beside her on the sofa, he tried to come up with the words. This was why he’d been avoiding her.
“I’m DEA,” he finally blurted out as he watched her eyes. Not even a hint of surprise crossed them. “Mia and I are partners.”
“I know.” His mother’s eyes narrowed. “Tom told me. That has nothing to do with you treating her right. I heard you two fought at the Moose the other day and then again at the Spot.” She shifted. “She is your Hawáte, your one.”
He’d grown up with a handful of native words, and hearing his mother speak her native tongue flooded him with nostalgia.
“You knew?” he asked.
“Of course.” She smacked his hand lightly. “I’ve known since you applied for the police academy. Tom has a friend…” She shook her head.
“Mom?” He shifted. “Go on.”
When she sighed heavily and straightened her shoulders, he felt a slight pain in his gut.
“Matthew Carter is Tom’s old partner from Helena.”
“What?” Brian stood up, suddenly needing to move. “My boss?”
“Yes.” His mother stood up as well and touched his arm.
“You… knew this whole time?” He turned on her.
“Yes.” Her voice was low. “I’ve been so proud of you,” she added. “Scared for your safety, but proud.” She smiled. “I always knew that once you broke free of… your past, things would get better.”
“Who else knows?” he asked, suddenly worried his cover had been blown.
“Just Tom and me.” She met his eyes. “I understand the importance of keeping your secret.”
“You know it has to remain a secret, for Mia’s safety.” he said.
“Yes.” She smiled. “As I said, I like her. I can tell there’s more between you two than just being partners.” She touched his arm. “I’m happy y
ou’ve found someone.”
He sat back down, suddenly weary. “She’s trying to pull away,” he admitted. He’d seen it since the other night when they had talked about their future in Helena.
“Give her time. From what she’s told me about her past… she’ll need someone she can rely on to be there for her. Even after she tries to pull away. You’ll need to show her you’re there to stay.”
“What did she tell you?” he asked, suddenly interested that Mia had opened up more to his mother than she had to him.
“You’ll need to ask her.” She smiled. “Now…” His mother stood up and dusted off her hands. “How about some lunch?”
He chuckled, then stood and gathered the smaller woman into his arms. “You never stopped believing in me.” He kissed the top of her head. “Even when I held a knife to your throat.” His chest hurt remembering that day. He’d been ashamed the moment he’d acted out and, since that day, he’d sworn he’d make it right to her someday.
“You went through so much.” She sighed.
“We both did. Gavin Laster was an ass.”
“Yes, and Carl McGowan was a drunk. No matter what seed you came from, you will always be my son.” She smiled up at him.
Reaching up, he gently wiped a tear from her cheek with his thumb. “I’ll never forget that again.” He leaned down and placed a kiss on her cheek.
“Good. Now, help me make some sandwiches.” She moved into the kitchen and he followed.
It was liberating, knowing that his mother knew everything. Even about his relationship with Mia. He’d never known just how heavy and burdensome keeping secrets from someone he loved was before now.
They chatted over lunch about the case and his mother gave him a few ideas about who could be behind all the drugs. Living in town, she had a better view on who was acting shady and out of control lately. Some of which he’d never thought about himself.
Being in town, she knew a lot about what had been going on in recent times. How it had been rumored that some of the recent high school students were involved with some of the recent drug sales.
He mentioned how Darla had told them that Gary Turner had sold her the tainted drugs.
“Gary?” His mother frowned, setting down her coffee cup. “Our Gary?”
He sighed. “Yeah, my thoughts exactly. I’ve known the guy since I was a kid.”
“Yes.” She was silent for a while.
“What?” he asked.
“It’s just… I’ve often wondered about him.”
“You think he’s really a dealer?”
“There was always a possibility in my mind. After all, he’s been arrested a few times for other… infractions.”
He’d seen Gary’s rap sheet. After all, they were looking at him as the main dealer in Haven.
“Yeah, but his arrests had nothing to do with drugs.” He thought back to the handful of arrests in the past five years. “Gambling and parking tickets are one thing, but dealing?” He shook his head.
“Maybe he got in bad with someone?” his mother suggested.
That was a possibility. Good people often did bad things for justified reasons. “A possibility,” he agreed. “One we will be looking into.”
“So, you and Mia are okay then?” she asked.
“Yes.” He informed her that the public fights were all part of the act to give him a reason to be looking for a fix.
She didn’t like it but understood it was his job.
“Good.” She stood up. “I have to run an order into town.” She glanced down at her watch. “And I’m late.”
He stood up and took his plate to the sink. “Thanks for lunch, Mom,” He turned and wrapped his arms around her. “And for believing in me.”
“You’re my son. We may have gone through some rough patches together, but we made it out the other side.” She rose up on her toes and kissed his cheek.
“I love you,” he said, and the look in her eyes as they teared up told him that he hadn’t said it enough to her. “Don’t cry,” he begged.
“I’m allowed it.” She wiped her eyes and smiled up at him. “I love you too. I’ve waited far too long to hear that from you again.”
“I promise I won’t make you wait that long again,” he added, knowing it was the truth.
“You’d better not.” She smiled. “Now, go. Before you make me any later.”
After leaving his mother’s place, he headed to several of the clubs again to start the next phase. Pretending his “old lady” was pissed at him was easy enough. He got a hook up for some drugs at the first club and was on a roll. By the time he left the last strip joint, he had three contacts besides Gary.
Driving back to the house he was sharing with Mia, he wondered why he hadn’t said those same words to Mia yet. After all, he knew that’s how he felt about her. Hell, he’d asked her to move in with him. Why hadn’t he told her how he felt?
When he pulled into the driveway, there was another car parked in his spot.
He’d cleared the driveway and the sidewalk earlier that morning, but since the snow had continued to fall, he ran the shovel over the pathway again before heading inside.
Seeing Gail McGowan sitting with Mia at the kitchen table had him wishing he’d taken a little more time outside.
“Hi.” He walked over and laid a hand on Mia’s shoulder.
“Hi.” She smiled up at him.
“Gail.” He nodded to her.
“Hi, Brian.” Gail smiled and then looked down at her watch. “Oh, I hadn’t realized it had gotten so late.” She stood up. “Thank you, Mia, for the chat.”
“You’re welcome. Thanks for the muffins.” Mia stood up and they followed Gail to the front door.
“If you need anything else.” She glanced around the home, then back at Mia. “Let me know what you two decide.”
“We will, thank you,” Mia said as they watched Gail make her way down the pathway towards her car.
“What was that all about?” he asked when they were alone.
“She’s selling the house,” Mia answered, clearing the coffee mugs and plates from the table.
“Her house?” He thought to the big place just outside of town.
“No, this one.”
“Right now?” He worried about them moving back into the small hotel room.
“No, well, not really.” She set the dishes in the sink and then turned back towards him. “She wants us to buy it.”
His eyebrows shot up. There must have been a look of complete confusion on his face, since Mia started nodding her head.
“Yeah, my thoughts as well,” she said.
“Why us?” he asked after he’d recovered.
“She thinks the place is perfect for us and, as she put it, the timing is right.” Mia leaned against the counter.
He was silent for a while.
“What are you thinking?” she asked.
“I’m thinking our ruse worked.” He moved closer to her.
“Oh?” He felt her tense.
“I’ve got a list of dealers.” He pulled out the names and numbers he’d been given and handed them to her. It was strange, how easy it had been to convince people he needed a fix. No one had even questioned him. They had trusted him and willingly given up their contacts.
He was betraying the trust everyone had in him, but after watching Darla OD the other day, he knew it was for the best.
“These are great,” she said looking at each one. “Who are your contacts?”
He could tell that she’d changed gears with him. It was too much to talk about their future. He’d seen her pull away the last time he’d tried and knew that she wasn’t ready yet.
“They’re on the back,” he answered, watching her closely.
“Good, I’ll call Carter and…” Her phone rang, interrupting her. She looked down at the screen and sighed, then answered it. “Hi, Mom.”
He figured she’d want some privacy and stepped out of the room as she talked on the phone.
<
br /> Heading up to change out of the smoke-covered clothes, he figured that he could use some exercise and decided to use the weights he’d seen in the garage.
Pulling on a pair of sweats and a T-shirt, he headed out the back door while Mia was still on the phone.
Half an hour later she came outside to join him. The garage had been chilly when he’d first started working out, but now there was a sheen of sweat covering his skin.
“Good idea,” she said, rolling her shoulders and warming up.
He’d moved some old mats to the garage floor and was using them to lift weights on. He’d worked up a sweat and was thinking of finding a place to hang the old punching bag, but now that she was there, the idea of sparring crossed his mind instead.
“You aren’t going to do that yoga you like, are you?” he asked her.
“No.” She smiled. “It’s too cold out here for that. I’ve been doing that each morning inside, where it’s warmer.”
“Good.” He moved over to her. “How about you see if you can take me down?” He smiled.
Her eyebrows shot up. “See if I can?” She laughed. “The last time we sparred, you had more views of the ceiling than I did.”
He laughed. “I let you win.”
She rolled her shoulders and stretched her legs while he prepared himself. Her yoga pants were tight and left little to the imagination, and his mouth watered. His mind instantly flashed to another form of exercise they could be enjoying instead.
“What do I win if I can pin you?” she asked, squaring off.
“Bragging rights,” he answered as he got in the ready position.
“Nope, not good enough.”
“Okay, name your price.”
They started circling each other.
“You doing dishes the rest of our stay in Haven,” she said. He dodged her quick right jab. It had almost landed on his shoulder and he refocused from her soft lips to her fists, which he knew stung when they connected to his skin.
“Deal. What do I get if I win?” he asked, returning the jab, impressed that she sidestepped it easily.
“I’ll do the dishes,” she suggested.